A Dash of the Crazy
« Previous EntriesI’m Blaming It On The Cookie Dough
Sunday, April 19th, 2009I took a nap this fine, rainy Sunday afternoon. And by afternoon, I mean after 3 PM. We are all smart enough people to realize that in doing so, I’m going to be a crabby mess on Monday because I’m going to be tired and whiney because afternoon naps mean I am UNABLE to go to [...]
What Day Is It?
Tuesday, March 10th, 2009So I’m back from vacation. And I feel like I’m moving around in a fog, like I’m in a dream because I’m not exactly sure what day it is, or what time it is. Because after spending about 36 hours in Chicago, I hopped a plane to Pittsburgh for work and I literally am totally [...]
Target Is Supposed To Be A Happy Place
Sunday, March 1st, 2009Guess what I spent my Sunday afternoon doing? I spent it in jail after I punched a bitch in the face in the Bath aisle at Target.
Well, not really. But I came close to it. In fact, I was waiting for the bitch to rumble with me in the cat food aisle.
I’m so going to [...]
Serenity Now
Tuesday, February 24th, 2009In little over a week from now, I will be in Arizona. I will be soaking up as much sun as humanly possible and wearing nothing but SHORT SLEEVES and FLIP FLOPS for four whole days. And while I’m wearing FLIP FLOPS in the SUN, I will be DRINKING BEER and watching baseball. It is [...]
Just Say No. To Kool-Aid.
Wednesday, January 21st, 2009To the people of the world:
This is a public service announcement. I need you to spread the word and educate your children and your friends and family. There is a new drug that is running rampant out on the streets and in our homes. It is taking over the lives of people who come in [...]