Posted By Kristabella on August 12, 2008
The Olympics are giving me ADD. I started writing two posts yesterday and had to give up because they were just CRAP! If it’s not Scottish, it’s CRAP!
I wanted to tell you about how I spent my weekend as a cat. How I got home Friday from work, earlier than normal, and took a two-hour nap. And how after getting my eyebrows waxed on Saturday morning, I came home and took a three-hour nap. And how I spent most of Sunday on the couch, alternating between reading my book and taking hour-long naps.
But then I was like well, yeah, people will believe that cats nap. But people won’t believe that cats would wax off their hair. ON PURPOSE.
And then I was going to tell you about the new business that moved into a strip mall on Montrose that I pass on my walk home from the bus. Apparently these people are mad about people passing by and looking in the window. So they put a note on the window that said “Dear people passing by, STOP STARING! WE ARE NOT A ZOO. AND WE HAVE GUNS.”
So I decided I would leave a note the next day that said “Dear asshats who decided to start a business in a strip mall that is MADE OF WINDOWS, they are called blinds. Or curtains. And guns are illegal in the city of Chicago. Don’t worry, I already alerted the police. You’re welcome. And we’re soooo glad you’re in the neighborhood.”
But then I saw they got blinds. And I was a little sad. Because I was proud of my note.
So then I was going to tell you about my growing obsession with the Olympics and hot, young swimmers. But then I didn’t think you needed to see that side of my crazy and how I kill time on nbcolympics.com looking at the bios of athletes. And reading up on my new boyfriend. Good thing I didn’t mention that.
And then I was going to ask if anyone else giggles that the swimming announcer’s name is Rowdy. And if anyone else thinks to themselves “R-O-W-D-I-E that’s the way we spell ROWDIE. ROWDIE. Let’s get ROWDIE. WOO!”
Just me then?
But I will tell you that crazy HR person from last week told me they would like to bring me in for an interview. And he said I should prepare for a FIVE-HOUR INTERVIEW. And he wasn’t kidding. And then I mistakenly asked if he was considering me for CEO because why would an Account Coordinator need to be interviewed for FIVE HOURS? And what can I tell them that I haven’t already told them? Because I’m wondering if there will be a lie detector and if I will finally give up in tears and yell out “I WAS FIRED FOR MY BLOG!” And then storm out of the room.
But then I figured no one really needed to hear any of this. Good thing I never mentioned any of it.