Job Interviews Are Fun!

Posted By on August 7, 2008

Last night on my bus ride home I got a call from someone about a possible job. He had found my resume online and was really interested in talking to me. I was very excited, even more so after Katie told me that recruiters don’t call unless they are really interested.

This morning when I got in, I checked out the company’s site and it seemed like a really great company, kind of cutting edge and something that sounds like I would enjoy.

So I went into an empty office (we have a lot of them at work) and called this guy back. He didn’t answer so I left a message with my name and that I was returning his call from the previous evening. About 10 minutes later he called. My first clue that isn’t wasn’t going to be the best phone call was when he was all “who are you again? Did I call you? What is your name? Can you just email me your resume?”

Dude, I LEFT YOU A MESSAGE. Get your ass prepared with my info BEFORE you call me back.

Anyway, I didn’t hang up on him and he discussed the job opening. And then he asked if I had time to talk. And then I proceeded to have a 40-minute phone interview with this guy. It went petty well. I think I do better when I’m unprepared and don’t know it is coming. I was almost like chit-chatting with him, which can either help or harm me.

One of his first questions was the typical “where do you see yourself in 5 years?” question. He actually made it more complicated and wanted to know about one year from now, five years from now and what my opinion of my life would be 10 years from now.

Since I’m looking for a job, not a career (but can’t really say that to someone), I tend to go with my vague answer that I want to be in a position where I am constantly learning and in a job that I enjoy and that makes me happy and makes me want to get out of bed in the morning.

The thing is I have no goals of being a VP or a CEO or anything like that. I have no aspirations. I do not want to climb the corporate ladder. Climbing is exercise.

I know I want to write. I want to be published. I want to get married. And I want to be a stay at home mom. I know what I want to be. It’s just that none of these things make me really desirable as a prospective employee.

Normally my vague answer suffices. I can talk out of my ass if I have to, but that generally gives them enough. They get sucked into my world of puppies and rainbows and working at jobs we love and enjoy getting up for.

Not this guy. He brought it up three more times in the conversation. He kept saying “I still don’t really understand what your goals are? Do you want to be in marketing? What do you want to do? Where will you be in five years? WHERE?”

And then I said “I will be 36, single and have eight cats!” and hung up on his ass!

Actually I danced around it again and finally said “yeah, I love marketing. It makes my heart race. And my panties moist! Yay marketing! Capital M to the A to the R-K-E-T-I-N-G! Yay marketing!”

But seriously, I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to lie. But I’m thinking I may have to stretch the truth a little otherwise I will never get a job.

Which is where you all come in – what would you guys say to that question? Would you lie? Stretch the truth? Do you think the vague answer should suffice? And then after that just tell them what they want to hear? I need your HALP! Kthxbai.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


52 Responses to “Job Interviews Are Fun!”

  1. Chris says:

    Brilliant question – right up there with “if you were a jelly donut, what flavor would you be?”. Seriously, WHO TRAINS the idiots in HR who ask this crap? What do they learn from you with this question?

    Oh, and IMHO the “so tell me about yourself” just SCREAMS “I COULD have asked an intelligent question about your skills and background and how you could bring new creativity to our organization, but I WUSSED OUT and asked this inane question”. Run. Run far, run fast from this outfit.

    BUT – since you asked. Some responses:

    1. I see myself as YOUR manager.
    2. Please tell me what movement you expect in your organization in 5 years and what positions will be open to me in that time.
    3. In this company, how long does anyone typically remain in their position?
    4. Gee, that’s a tough one. How about YOU? Where do you see YOURSELF in 5 years in this company?

    Translation – this is a STUPID question, if this is best you can do, you aren’t good enough for ME.


    Chriss last blog post..Inner Peas

  2. Laurel says:

    I kind of think those future goals questions are lazy interview questions. I mean, when you’re about to take a new job, it’s hard to say ANYTHING meaningful about where you see yourself in 1, 5 or 10 years!

    Laurels last blog post..Coming Up For Air…