10 PM Is The 2 AM Of Old Drunks
Posted By Kristabella on June 22, 2008
So Saturday was the shower/bachelorette party for my friend Jenny. You know, the one where I ranted about presents and having to buy people underwear?
I ended up getting her a cute tank thing with matching panties. At the very last minute because I am the LAZIEST PERSON ON THE PLANET. Seriously. I went to Macy’s right by the party. I bought her gift after the party had already technically started. Because I was too busy falling asleep on the couch at 7 PM on Friday night to be bothered to go get the gift earlier. Because I suck.
The party was a lot of fun. Mostly because I decided that I was going to drink a gallon of vodka. That was my only option. There was some fruity drinks, vodka and that was about it. I should have run to the 7-11 across the street and bought a bottle of wine for myself since Kristabella + hard alcohol = drunken debauchery that quite often includes vomiting and/or getting hugs from cab drivers.
On top of the trough of vodka I consumed, I hardly ate. They had some good food and I had things to eat, but not a good enough base for a magnum sized bottle of Skyy vodka.
We played our fair share of wedding shower games. I vowed AGAIN to have none of that at my wedding shower. Unless the game is See If You Can Drink More Vodka Than Kristin. And I challenge you all to this game ANY DAY. I will vow to kick your ass and then continue to put pack the vodka and Diet Cokes well after you’ve quit and given up. I go big or go home. I go big and go home drunk.
The party was at an apartment downtown with an awesome rooftop deck with views of the lake and Millennium Park. I drank more vodka up there and I brought my new camera and tested it out on real people and not cats.
The party started at around 4. I got there about 5. Around 8 or 9 (I have no idea. If I didn’t have photos from the evening, I wouldn’t even had known I was there) we decided to head out on the town. I know we took a cab (see above about the camera, because I took pictures in the cab) and I think we went to the Park Hyatt. What I DO remember is that I didn’t have anything to drink there. Because THEY WOULDN’T LET ME. The bartender refused to serve me. REFUSED! (That has never happened to me, surprisingly.) Probably because it was before 10 PM and I was swaying like there was a nine-piece orchestra playing in my head.
Although, this is what Michelle told me. She could have been lying. Either way, I was quite happy for it this morning.
At some point, after I wobbled around A LOT because I could not stand in one place without losing my balance, we left. I got a ride home with Carrie, which I was thankful for because I didn’t want another cabbie encounter. And I can imagine with as wasted as I was, it wouldn’t have ended well.
While in the car, I remember looking at the clock and it said 10:19. And I thought, “oh, that’s not the clock. Carrie is listening to 101.9.” And then the radio/clock changed and I realized it WAS ONLY 10 PM! How was I THIS drunk and Weeble-Wobbly and it wasn’t even after midnight? When did I become OLD and forget to pace myself?
So I got home, ate some string cheese and got ready for bed. I somehow was in a right enough mind to change into pajamas, take out my contacts and brush my teeth. Let me tell you, this is also a feat when I’m stone cold sober.
I passed out and woke up around 9 Sunday morning. I think it was raining and I needed to close the windows. As I went back to bed I touched my forehead. And it was sore. And I was like “did I hit my head on something?” I didn’t actually remember knocking my head on anything. I figured I’d go to the bathroom mirror to check it out.
And then it hit me. As I was brushing my teeth drunkenly the night before, I went down to get some water to rinse out my mouth. As I went down, I SMACKED my head on the medicine cabinet. SMACKED. And this is what I ended up with.
I should have a fun time explaining that at work on Monday.
I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.
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Rooftop deck + new camera? Seriously? Awesome pics though. Oh and “See If You Can Drink More Vodka Than (whoever)” is my favourite game.
Missy’s last blog post..Deadlines
That rooftop deck is killer. I think you can explain your injury by blaming it on the popular shower game called “Headbutt the bride-to-be”. It’s big in Europe.
Jules
House of Jules
HouseofJules’s last blog post..Weekend Girl Talk, Part 5: Snail Mail Edition
“I was swaying like there was a nine-piece orchestra playing in my head.”
Best. Line. EVER.
Oh, and I am majorly jealous of your new camera.
Andria’s last blog post..Friday Freebie! A Set of Must-Have Beach Reads!
you make me feel so much better (um, the same). at my last bachelorette’s party (which was 2 months ago) — I “pre gamed” with my boyfriend at a random restaurant in North Beach. Afterwards, the man and I walked into Forever 21, mid-afternoon intoxicated, (because I forgot that I was supposed to bring a “naughty gift”) to purchase a pair of really tacky tied-dyed undies for the bride. Boyfriend drunkingly wrapped the gift while I showered (I would like mention that his drunken wrap is far superior to my sober wrap). Then I hopped into a cab to the marina and showed up noticeably inebriated, despite the 3 hours I had to sober up. Ah, at least some of the others caught up to me in due time… but I think it’s situations like this that make people think that I’m a total lush. I could be wrong.
kir’s last blog post..Baker Beach
Dude, it’s a good thing you got that thing AFTER getting home or some cabbie would’ve wanted to kiss it and make it better!
Raven’s last blog post..the all nostalgia channel
Lady, we were drunk by 3 pm on Saturday. I mean, we were at a beer festival, but STILL. THREE!
Sounds like a pretty good party! Glad you didn’t knock yourself out hitting your head on the shelf; you could have really hurt your self during the fall… What kind of camera did you get?
Coast Rat’s last blog post..HARBOR LUNCH IN ‘THE PASS’
cool pics from the new camera.
Sorry bout the forehead smackdown.
Take 2 asprins and call AA in the morning. =)~
Ashmystir’s last blog post..but it’s friday for pete’s sake!!
Well, at least you remembered where you hit your head? It’s a start!! I love my Canon, too!
Melissa’s last blog post..Busted….
I don’t know. I think it is a sign of your evolving adulthood that you were able to be home at a reasonable hour, eat a nutritious snack,identify self-inflicted injuries, and NOT drunk call/text/blog anyone. I am proud of your. Your Adult card is in the mail.
Jenn’s last blog post..Sororities Part I: Which One Is The Best?
You should only be worried the day that happens and you realize it’s only 7pm. That’s when it becomes a problem. Ha!
Kristie’s last blog post..Well, isn’t that just a kick in the ass
That’s the worst when you are that drunk that early. I hate that!
I do have a fun game that we palyed at my Bachelorette Party. The girls made a scavenger hunt out of bars around town and things I had to do at each one. I was nervous but with enough alcohol it can be fun!
Sheenah’s last blog post..One Friday Can Change A Life
Bachelorette parties are just evil really. Impressive beauty mark though.
slynnro’s last blog post..Scenes From a Marriage: Yuppie ‘Hood Hazards Ed.
Well thank goodness there were no incidents with cab drivers!
Jen on the Edge’s last blog post..I wish I could give away my clutter too
1. Damn good thing you didn’t fall off the roof.
2. Vodka and anything carbonated is a sure-fire recipe for disaster – a’la my Spartan Homecoming fiasco last Fall.
Ree’s last blog post..RIP Scott Kalitta
I promise I wasn’t lying. And thanks for posting such a bad picture of me. 🙂
I don’t know what to comment on…that gorgeous view of the lake and park, being refused alcohol or the bump on your forehead. Seriously, an awesome trifecta of good weekends.
JRM’s last blog post..Ebaying
Sounds like it was a damn good time to me! I don’t know if we discussed this before but you are one of the only other people I know that drinks vodka with diet coke! That’s my favorite! All of my friends think it’s awful! Oh well, at least no one steals my drink at the bar!
Erin’s last blog post..Quoi?
I agree with whoever said above that as long as you know where you got the head bump, there’s no problem.
-R-‘s last blog post..You Have A 50/50 Chance
Oh, my stomach (and forehead!) hurts for you. I think vodka just has that effect on my stomach though. Whenever I hear mention of it, my stomach lurches. That’s because of a rather unfortunate week in South Padre my sophomore year of college.
She Likes Purple’s last blog post..The View
Awesome rooftop deck! Your head=ouch!
You’re a nutter. Getting refused service is just another rung on that ladder to batty old drunk lady… But it is amusing to hear about the journey! Hope your head is feeling better.
Noelle’s last blog post..What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye-deer.
i enjoy me some vodka…but there’s no question you can drink me under the table.
and?
i can’t wait to have you do it. 24 days?
ali’s last blog post..some apocalypse now, some stupid teens and some camp rock
Go out strong and early, I love it! I started drinking at 3 pm on Saturday afternoon and was in bed by midnight. I was the first person to bed, but I still thought 9 hours was a pretty good performance!
Laurel’s last blog post..Questions, Part Seven: Hypotheticals
Ouch!! You know, the bad thing is I’ve smacked my head exactly the same way. Twice. Completely sober. Now doesn’t that make you feel better? Haha.
rye’s last blog post..under-compensating
So I got home, ate some string cheese and got ready for bed
Because what else is there to do after such a wild night on the town and being refused service before 10pm?
Dingo’s last blog post..If Miles Were Measured in Donuts
Ouch to the head!
I think the only way to deal with parties involving compulsory games is to drink a lot of alcohol. Seriously.
Amber’s last blog post..Not So Good to Be Back
At least you weren’t going to a wedding the next day…which is totally what happened to me. I was at a going away party on Friday imbibed WAY too much, knocked over a table (we were asked to leave after that), fell off my insensible shoes and apparently scrapped the side of my face. I had no idea it happened until Chris asked what happened to my face to which I responded by getting all indignant!
You were getting drunk while I was laughing at my bf at a brewery tour in my old college town and realizing that we don’t really like being hot and sweaty around a lot of drunk people we don’t know.
So we came home early. And I got to drive his hella-fast car.
The Muse’s last blog post..I <3 Fast Cars
It sounds like you had fun and that’s all that matters!
Sarah’s last blog post..Random Crap For A Monday
Oh goodness I definitely could not eat and then drink. I’d be drunk in seconds and be sick within the hour.
Lauren’s last blog post..RIP George Carlin
Oh my! That was the first time I laughed all day! Brilliant, my dear!
Danielle-Lee’s last blog post..Sweeping it under the rug
one time i got a black eye from a 32 ounce beer mug.
christa’s last blog post..beware of the giardia …
Vodka goes with everything.
The one and only time I got so drunk I puked was with cheap ass vodka.
It took me almost 20 years to get over that night, but vodka and I have remained friendly.
this totally makes me want to go out drinking with you.
Alice’s last blog post..vocabulary lesson
Tell them it’s a hickey from a cab driver.
Well you can make him hot. Forehead hickeys are erotic.
girlplease’s last blog post..Hoo Ya Pain Update
Oh dear. Drunken injuries, they are the worst. And: speak like Yoda, I apparently do.
Also, Kristabella, why did I not meet you when I was in Chicago in December? Something (like a penchant for consuming mass quantities of alcohol) tells me we’d get along.
Lara’s last blog post..Finding my religion
I noticed that you left a very important part of the party out of your post…the hotdog in the jar game. Something tells me you’ve played that game before 😉
You had some inkling of fun tho, right?
Lys’s last blog post..Archiving The Past…