The One Where You All Tell Me “I Told You So”
Posted By Kristabella on October 21, 2008
Guess where I was today? I was at the dentist. I know, you’re all saying “SHUT UP! You did not go to the dentist! You never talk about going to the dentist! I need to sit down because this is such a deviation from what you’ve ever talked about before. I am feeling faint!” But please, everyone, get a hold of yourselves.
When we last left our heroine, Kristabella, she was in immense pain from a rotting tooth and had thrown a tantrum and stormed out of her dentist’s office. This left her back at square one with the task of having to find a new dentist and one soon before she burned a whole in her stomach from all the Advil she was taking.
Today Kristabella had her sorely needed root canal appointment. After hugging her new dentist and not letting go for an inappropriate amount of time, she is now recovering just fine in the comforts of her own home after having many fruity drinks named The Tootie and Blair at the Reagle Beagle tonight with Hotfessional, Kim and Stephanie.
And now since Kristabella cannot keep up this whole third-person nonsense, she will totally break all sorts of rules of writing and switch point of view. Because she is lazy and stupid. And hopped up on alcohol and pain killers, wheeeeee!
I would like to say how much I love this new dentist. I was a bit afraid of telling her my sordid tale of storming out of the last dentist’s office because I was yelled at. Because seriously, when you say it out loud, I really look like a fucking wuss. But then this new dentist lady, who was only my dentist for today because she’s a root canal only dentist, was all “no, you were very brave for what you did. People already hate going to the dentist, you should feel comfortable there.” And then I was like THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU! IS IT OKAY IF I LICK YOUR FACE?
I explained to her the situation with my tooth. I told her that this tooth had quite a deep cavity in it, and yet the old bitchtastic dentist put the crown on anyway. I told her that it had always been sensitive and it has just gotten worse.
Then new dentist was all “so when old dentist did this filling and put on this crown, you felt everything didn’t you? You couldn’t get numbed up, right? You felt the whole filling? The Novocaine didn’t work.” And I just looked at her, mouth agape, and whispered “yes, how did you know?”
So she says “because it is CLEAR AS DAY that you’re tooth is irritated and has been for some time and that dentist SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT AND NOT PUT ON THAT CROWN IN THE FIRST PLACE!”
And then I hugged her again. I felt so relieved and vindicated that it wasn’t me. I didn’t overreact. There was a problem there that should have been fixed back months ago. And I was right to question it and then SWITCH to a more competent dentist. I could have shed tears of joy.
The procedure went awesomely. I didn’t feel anything. She made sure that if I felt anything, she gave me more Novocaine. And even better was the fact that she talked to me during the whole thing. She told me what she was doing. Old dentist never did that before and it is so frustrating! It is so hard to tell me what you’re doing inside my mouth? No, old fucking asshat dentists, IT IS NOT HARD.
And then when I left they gave me some pain medicine, a breath mint and a little bottle of water. It was just so thoughtful.
I know you all told me months ago to switch dentists. And I didn’t because I didn’t want the added costs for switching. So I just wanted to tell all of you today, that you were right. I should have switched MONTHS AGO. Today I realized how a dentist appointment should go. How you should be treated at the dentist. It was worth the large sum of money I had to pay out of my pocket. I just wish I would have listened to all of you all those months ago. You are welcome to say “I told you so.”
And really, I knew I would love her when her magazine collection included Food & Wine.
So would it be weird to send her a thank you note? And maybe a cookie basket?
