Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on September 15, 2008

So I was going to fill you all in on the shenanigans I got up to this weekend for my birthday, including trying to drink the same quantity of beer as the amount of rain that fell this weekend in Chicago. (It was A LOT. Half of Northern Illinois is flooded and major expressways are closed because of standing water. It rained for literally 48 hours straight.) (So, that would be a lot of beer I drank this weekend, is what I’m saying.)

Anyway, but that post is going to have to wait. Because today, I called the dentist. And any of you that follow me on Twitter know that it did not end well.

If you haven’t read my other dentist horror stories, let me just say that this dentist is bad. I’m seriously questioning why this particular dentist has a license and why other people go there. And I’m sure you’re all asking, why have you been going there so long? (I’ve been going for almost 3 years.) And I realized today that when my original dentist left the office, which I wasn’t ever informed about, that’s when things went down hill. I liked the old dentist. She was young and hip and liked to talk about drinking beer and pop culture. I need to go find her.

I’ve always hated the hygienists, though.

So this morning I call to see if I can get an appointment and the receptionist says she can get me in at 3 PM. So I take it. There is no reason to avoid the inevitable any longer. It is getting worse. The pain is worse and worse every day and lingers if I don’t take Advil every four hours.

I get to my appointment early because I figure they are squeezing me in. And then I wait. And I wait some more. And I hear them talking that “Kristin Johnson is waiting, but she can wait.” And then I see the bitchy Russian hygienist, who I can’t understand what she says, that I hate the most, peek out the window that is on the door that separates the waiting area from the actual exam rooms. I see her fucking peek her face and look at me and then go back and tell Bitchy McDentist that “yes, it is that Kristin out there” and then they proceed to talk about me and I can HEAR IT! IT IS A SMALL OFFICE, DUMBASS.

Then, not two seconds later, I see Bitchy McDentist (whose name is Dr. Chen and seriously, they are off of Lincoln on the north side, DO NOT GO THERE) peek her little, stupid face out the window and full on stare at me. And then they make me wait more.

Look, I know I have not been a model patient. I question things because I’ve been going to the dentist a long time and have numerous procedures done. I’m not an idiot. I also question this Bitchy Dr. Chen a lot because I am not convinced that she is competent enough to do her job. There have been many times when she has asked questions out loud, to the hygienist or to no one in general, and really? That never gave me the most confidence.

On top of it, they have screwed things up. I spent more time at that dentist this summer because of their fuck ups and their miscommunication. And I’m not just going to sit there and let them do it. I am a squeaky wheel!

So I know they don’t like me. But they have to fix my mouth if they want to get paid and so the Russian hygienist can go buy Russian folk songs on iTunes.

After the staring and waiting (seriously, I didn’t get into the exam room until 3:20), they finally take me back and take an X-Ray. I say as little as possible because I JUST SAW YOU STARING AND HEARD YOU TALKING ABOUT ME, BITCHES!

Finally Worst Dentist Ever, Dr. Chen, comes in and starts asking questions in her heavily-accented, low-talking voice (not a good combination.) I tell her that it hurts, has really never been 100% since she put the crown on in July and it is getting progressively worse. So she taps on it with a metal thing-a-ma-bob and since it doesn’t hurt, she’s not sure what to do. AGAIN WITH HER OBVIOUS LACK OF KNOWLEDGE.

So then she says that when she put the crown on, she filled a pretty deep cavity and maybe (MAYBE?) there is some nerve damage that is causing some pain. So she “guesses” that I should probably have a root canal done. Because clearly the pain that I am telling you that I am in is irrelevant in this equation.

I tell her that she has to save the crown because I can’t spend more money on a crown that was just done. She says they can drill through it and fill it and I don’t have to pay for a new one. Which, nice to know.

Then I ask the seemingly $64 question – how come she didn’t notice this was an issue when she went in to fill the cavity? And listen, I asked it calmly (I promise. I swear on a keg of Old Style that I did not raise my voice) why if she spent so much time on that tooth just two months ago, how did she not know? I mean, the tooth wouldn’t even take the Novocaine she gave it and I was in pain and FELT ALL OF IT when she filled the tooth. That generally shows signs of infection or something pretty bad going on. Right? I mean if 4 shots of Novocaine don’t numb a tooth, I would venture to guess there is more than meets the eye.

This is where it got exciting. In the middle of me asking why she didn’t notice it then, she raises her meek little voice and shouted “LOOK! I TOLD YOU, THERE WAS SIGNIFICANT DECAY…” and then I cut her off. I was so pissed that she was yelling at me that I asked her to raise the chair back up and I got the hell out of there. I left my seat, threw off that little bib thingy and walked out. (See where the title comes in now?) I was so angry with these people that I was shaking when I left. That has never happened before to me.

I called back after I left to talk to the receptionist to get a copy of my records so I can take them someplace else. And I heard them laughing at me so I knew this was the best decision, albeit an immature one, I could have made.

Here’s my thing. I pay a lot of money, A LOT, to have a well-trained professional take care of my teeth. Your dentist shouldn’t make you cry, or laugh at you or give you the sense that they don’t know what the fuck they are doing. Least of all, a dentist or a doctor should never raise their voice at you. I’m sorry, that’s not part of the nearly $2000 I still owe for the craptastic job you’ve already done. Which, I’m now taking my sweet-ass time paying off.

So I’m going to a new dentist. I don’t care if I have to pay a little more out of pocket. I do not deserve to be treated like that. Seriously, tooth pain is already horrible enough.

:::

Also, I’m guest posting over here today. Go check it out.

Categories: A Dash of the Crazy, Dental DAMN, Rants & Rants
Tags: