Here is where you’ll find anything and everything you ever wanted to know about Bacon. So for all you new readers, and those of you here from Bacon: The Beginning, here is all you ever needed to know about Bacon.

Bacon is a folder. He looks like this:


My cats like to play with him. Here Simba gives the Bacon spinner a twirl.


Bacon does not like to play back.

Bacon is who I go to with all life’s important questions. Because when you don’t know what to do, I turn to him and ask “What Would Bacon Do?”

And then I spin the Bacon spinner and I get my answer.

At some point, I decided that I got really crazy search terms through Google for people stumbling on my blog, search terms that I couldn’t even answer, so I turned to Bacon. And Bacon Says was born. Sometimes he’ll even answer questions from his devoted following.

Lately he’s been getting to go on fun trips to Vegas and San Francisco and meeting all his adoring fans.

Click HERE for all the links to the Bacon posts.

Bacon has 12 possible answers, answers that can solve any problem. One spin of the wheel and one of the following answers will help lead you to a fulfilling life.

  • Taste Really Good
  • Hang Out With Hash Browns
  • Smoke
  • Liven Up A Salad
  • Boycott Tofu
  • Beckon
  • Spit Hot Grease (one of Bacon and Kristabella’s favorites)
  • Shrivel
  • Put the “B” in BLT
  • Sizzle
  • Tempt A Vegan
  • Raise Cholesterol

And that concludes your Bacon lesson.

Fo Sizzle.

11 Responses to “Bacon”

  1. Jules says:

    I love you.

    House of Jules

  2. Hank says:

    There was a really funny British comedian on “Last Comic Standing.” He started his act with the following:

    I’m Jewish, but not religious.

    Because…bacon………….is nice.

  3. The Muse says:


    Bacon… I look for excuses to cook with you. Because? You are my favorite thing in the whole wide world. And you “Taste Really Good.”

  4. Nicole says:

    The other day, my coworker was miffed at having to stagger her start time because she had a late meeting, and asked me what she should do since she wakes up at 7:30 at the latest anyways.

    I told her to make herself eggs benedict.

    And bacon. Lots and lots of bacon. Because bacon makes everything better.

  5. hobgadlng says:

    This is ingenious! I never thought of living my life the way Bacon would want me to. It just makes so much sense!

  6. […] Tonight, I had my first Chicago-style deep dish pizza. And Oh My Bacon! […]

  7. […] beansoup aprons-Why, oh why, does beansoup need an apron? Is beansoup a sloppy cook? Maybe I should ask Bacon? […]

  8. […] As some of you may know, my dear friend KJ runs the wildly popular blog — and she has a penchant for bacon. A bacon folder, more specifically. I can’t really do the story justice like she can, so just go, read. […]

  9. […] is Kristabella and I blog over here. I sometimes write drunken posts and other times write about Bacon. But not the meat. Bacon is a folder that I have that predicts things and can tell your fortune. […]

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  11. i like milk says:

    i really liked the part where your grill was all up in dat hoe? business listen dawg don even trip dawg i like the part where you put dat ol’ dirty bastard song up on the website that? some cool fucking web designnnnnn

    aslo 101.0wqaZLq4[feaouszcxijpgtzvxkl

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