Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on November 9, 2008

This is actually only news to like maybe three people. Since because of Twitter, it is easier to share news like this in 140 characters.

But anyway, in a few days time, I will be returning to the ranks of the gainfully employed. I will be required to brush my teeth every day and take showers and actually have conversations with adults and not just my cats. It is a good time in my life. Any longer and I’m sure I would turn into some sort of hermit who hordes newspapers and take out menus.

In other words, I GOT A J-O-B!!! (That’s totally deserving of the multiple exclamation points!) NaIFinGoJoMo is a SUCCESS!

I obviously won’t go into any details on here, but I am really excited about the opportunity. I really think it will be a great fit.

In other news, my cats are not excited about this turn of events. They have actually enjoyed having me home. Weird, I know. I thought they’d miss throwing all those Kitty Kat Shindigs that I hear are all the rage in the neighborhood. But they will soon be excited about this change, since it means I can still afford to buy them food.

On the other hand, my pajama pants are overjoyed at this news. They are excited that they may stick around for a bit longer since there isn’t the threat that they will be soon turning into tattered rags from all the overuse they have been getting. Seeing as I haven’t worn a non-pajama pant in consecutive days for a few months.

So, yay! For the job and also because I’m rewarding myself with an iPhone as a “Yay! You got a job!” gift.

Category: Job Search, Unemployment Line | 55 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on November 6, 2008

This past weekend I took a trip up to Minnesota to visit my friend Julie and her husband Joe. Julie is pregnant with her first child and I wanted to go up and see her before she pops out Cletus the Fetus. Also, I didn’t realize how badly I needed a little mini-break until I was up there. As much as unemployment seems like an extended vacation, it isn’t. It is nice to get away sometimes and not worry about jobs and why no one is calling you back and whether it is possible for your ass to turn into an actual couch cushion.

Flights were out of control (seriously, it was cheaper to fly to Arizona than 400 miles away to Minneapolis) so I decided to rent a car and drive up there. It actually isn’t a bad drive, even though 90 percent of the trip is in Wisconsin. I had never seen that part of Wisconsin before and it isn’t too bad. It’s a lot prettier than the Milwaukee side of Wisconsin, for sure.

And of course, no trip re-cap from me would be complete without a bulleted list. And away we have it!

• On my drive Friday, I stopped off to buy candy and Gatorade in Hudson, Wisconsin, which is right on the border of Minnesota. I was wearing my Bacon shirt. The cashier guy was all “What Would Bacon Do?” and then I laughed because NO ONE HAS EVER GOTTEN IT. And then he said probably the funniest thing EVER “Probably sit there and look delicious, I bet.”
• I think I laughed about that the rest of the trip.
• We might have a new Bacon t-shirt slogan.
• Friday night we met my friend Sharma out for dinner. Sharm and I met freshman year of college and have been friends since. I also got to meet her boyfriend, who is very nice. And I’m sure is sick of hearing our old ASU stories.
• This is Sharm. I am posting it because after I took it she asked if it would be on the blog. And I said yes. And I am not a liar.

• Even if my face is fat enough to look like I am full of hot air.
• On Saturday I got to see my second Minnesota Gophers hockey game. When they say that Minnesota is a hockey state, they are not lying. They had people travel all over the state to come to St. Paul to watch college hockey. I know, it boggles my mind too.
• I met a cute boy in line for the elevator who asked to see my ticket. Being the seasoned event-attending pro, I told him no. I wasn’t born yesterday! And also told him “that’s the oldest trick in the book!” So he offered to show me his. He then dreamily looked into my eyes, asked me if I knew how he could get to his seats and then mocked me for being a broadcasting major in college because it has clearly gotten me nowhere.
• I would move to Minnesota if I knew I could have run-ins with cute boys like that on a daily basis.
• At my previous University of Minnesota hockey game, I giggled every time the team scored and the ENTIRE CROWD then spelled Minnesota. Spelling at sporting events is funny. And it isn’t like Minnesota is CAT or IOWA or some small word. By the time they finish spelling that long word, they’ve already scored another goal and then again with MORE SPELLING.
• If I ever misspell Minnesota, I should be shot.
• We found out that like 98 percent of the schools in Minnesota spell something at hockey games. Sadly, none of the things they spell are vulgar. Unless you think Minnesota is a vulgar word.
• The game was played at the XCel Energy Center in St. Paul, home of the Minnesota Wild and the 2008 Republican National Convention. When I found this out, I was all “Hmmm, it still smells like Palin.”
• What does Palin smell like, you ask? Moose. Death. Blubber.
• Also, I would like to point out that the Gophers were playing the MAVERICKS that night. I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried.
• On Sunday we went to a bar in downtown St. Paul, Alary’s Bar, that is an all Chicago Bears bar on Sundays. Literally every TV is tuned to the Bears game. No TVs show the Viqueens.
• It was better than being at a bar in Chicago.

• The waitresses at this bar wear some revealing outfits. They wear these shorts that would make a Hooters waitress blush. Let me just say it is A LOT of ass cheek.
• In true Kristabella style, the blog was mentioned and business cards were given out. Because I am nothing when drunk if not a shameless self-promoter.
• Minnesota shows a LOT of political ads. Their local races were exciting! And dirty! I am kind of glad that the people I vote for always win by a large margin.
• Even if the person I just voted for got named Chief of Staff.
• Overall it was a great weekend, spent with great friends. And I’m excited I got to see Julie preggers before she had her little guy or girl. It was just what I needed.

Category: Gotta Have Friends, Travel | 20 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on November 4, 2008

I know I haven’t posted in a few days. I have things to tell you. I want to tell you all about my awesome weekend trip to Minnesota. I want to give a public service announcement to all the kids out there to stay in school because when you stop using your brain, it is not good. But I’m not going to talk about any of that. Because right now, to me, none of that matters as much as what happened tonight.

Because tonight, Barack Obama was elected as President of the United States. My Senator, the Senator from my home state, from my hometown, will be the 44th President of the United States.

I don’t like to get political on my blog. It is definitely a very personal thing. And just because you did not vote for Barack Obama in this election does not make me like you any less. It doesn’t mean we can’t get along. We are all AMERICANS. Everyone has free will and the ability to vote for the person that they feel will make the best President or best elected official. We all have our reasons for who we vote for. The best thing about our democracy is that we ALL have the ability to cast a vote. It is an amazing thing.

But tonight history was made. We elected our first African-American President. I will admit, it was a day I wasn’t sure that I would ever be alive to see. But he won. It is more amazing than I have words for. And most of my words contain “fucking” and “awesome” and “holy shit.” What we witnessed tonight is the single greatest thing I have seen in American politics in my life. Over a quarter of a million people stood since dawn in Chicago to witness it, to be a part of history. Amazing doesn’t really cover it.

I voted for Barack Obama because I believe that he is going to make change. I believe him when he speaks. For the first time, I actually believe that this man will do things to make this country a better place, that he will do the things he promised. I believe that this man moves me when he speaks and gives me chills and makes me proud to be an American.

I believe. I am hopeful. YES WE CAN.

Category: Politics | 28 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on October 31, 2008

Right now, I should be packing. I’m leaving in the morning to drive to Minnesota to visit my friend Julie. And I’m really looking forward to it!

I had planned to post the answers to the questions for Bacon today. But then I was out of the house a majority of the afternoon and now am just too tired to do anything. I am so screwed when I go back to work and am expected to be alert and productive for at least eight hours a day. Four hours out of the house doing mostly nothing has made me exhausted. Only four hours.

So today I went to get my eyebrows waxed in preparation for my big trip and for my interviews next week. I figured since I would already be out and showered, I would go and vote. It was the last day of early voting and since I have 2 interviews on Election Day, I figured this was the easiest way to knock it out. Plus, I needed to walk past the polling place on the way to the bus to go pick up my rental car for the weekend.

When I turned the corner by the park, I was shocked at what I saw. I saw a line stretching out the door and around the building. I took my place in line and was so thankful that I put my book in my purse at the last minute before I left the house. As I stood there, I overheard some chatter about the wait. Thinking that the line wasn’t that long and that this place should be prepared, I figured it would be about 30-45 minutes.

I was wrong. I was dead, dead wrong.

I got there around 2:30. Some guy passing out flyers told us he had heard it was about a two hour wait from where we were standing. TWO HOURS! On a Thursday afternoon! Why aren’t any of these people at work? Are all these people unemployed too? If so, then why do they look so put together like they shower every day? I bet they don’t ever forget to brush their teeth!

With a two-hour wait staring me in the face, I didn’t know what to do. I figured I could see how it went and if it seemed that it would really take two hours, I could always jump out of line and go on Tuesday. But my polling place on Election Day is a small site. And if there are this many people here early voting, how many other people haven’t voted?

So I stuck it out. I dove into my book and I shuffled along. It did take two hours. And I know I shouldn’t complain. I mean, women fought for this right so many years ago, the right to stand on their feet for two hours to be able to cast their vote for elected officials. People in Florida have had to wait even longer. And really, how amazing is the turnout? Already, before today, over 300,000 people in Chicago have early voted. That is impressive. They are expecting record turnouts. This is a monumental election!

But I’m a selfish cow, so yeah, I’m going to complain. Because my feet are still killing me. It was 100 degrees in that little building. Want to know why internet? Because the park district building turned their heat on earlier in the week, instead of holding out until November. And guess what? It was like in the 60s today and is supposed to be near 70 tomorrow. See why I don’t turn the heat on until it gets really cold? Losing toes to frostbite be damned!

I also want to complain because of how poorly the process was executed in the polling place. This location was all touch screen voting booths. There were about 6-8 actual booths. Filling out the ballot didn’t take too long, minus all the county judges that were up for re-election. Why isn’t there a “Yes To All” button?

Well, they would bring five people in at a time. The longest part wasn’t the actual voting, it was having the people find your information in the computer and activate your card for the touch screen. There were only TWO people doing that in the room. I’m pretty sure, Chicago Board of Elections, we don’t need five people telling us how to fill out a form. Maybe we need more people doing the time-consuming part. Things would have moved a lot faster.

Obviously, I’m glad I voted and it is over and I don’t have to worry about fitting it in on election day. But standing on my feet for two hours really took all of my energy. And when I left, about 30 minutes before the cut off, there was a line even longer. Those people at the end of that line were excited about voting. They had the chipper look in their eyes of having not been beat down by line-standing all day. Little did they know they had about a three-hour wait ahead of them. (Because, in case you didn’t know, as long as you are in line before the polls close, you are allowed to cast your vote. Do not let anyone tell you different. And don’t let a line close to closing time deter you from doing your civic duty!)

There were even news cameras there to document all the waiting we all did. Thankfully they didn’t interview me and then post the news clip on the internet so people could comment and tell me how much I suck for voting and how lame I am for waiting in line. (No. That isn’t going to get old any time soon.)

So let this be a lesson to all of you – if my lazy ass can wait patiently in line for two hours to do my civic duty, none of you have any excuses. All of you, remember to get out there and vote on November 4th. Have any voting questions? Go here to find out all the information you need to be prepared when you vote. But whatever you do, just vote. Be a part of history. Help make a change for the future. VOTE.

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, Politics | 26 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on October 30, 2008

Apparently someone (or someones) Stumbled my post from yesterday. So I had quite a spike in page views from new readers yesterday. Readers who I’m not sure will ever come back here. And since I don’t really understand StumbleUpon, I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing. And now I’m not sure how to follow it up.

Oh, the StumbleUpon pressure! DO NOT WANT!

But if any of you StumbleUpon people stuck around, welcome. Hope you enjoyed yesterday’s post!

Also, will someone STOP me from refreshing those comments on that Tribune article? Like I need to be bombarded with the stupid anymore? While I enjoyed Daisy firing back at the people about her misspellings (WITH MORE MISSPELLINGS), I also could have lived without Captain Concernicus (yes, I AM SERIOUS) and his two cents. And really, why do I subject myself to this? And why would you comment as Captain Concernicus?

Anyway, before the StumbleUpon PRESSURE, I was going to write about how I am not going to participate in NaBloPoMoFo this year. What is that, you ask? Why, it is National Blog Posting Month. And it happens in November. I participated last year. Two years ago, I semi-participated. It was my first year blogging and since I was so wet behind the ears, I didn’t find out about it until mid-November so I made December my NaBloPoMo month. And December has one more day, I might add.

It seems like an easy task, right? Post every day for a month. Most of us already tend to post 4-5 days a week anyway. What’s two more days? It’s hell, that’s what it is. That’s 8-10 more days in the month to come up with interesting things to write about. Do you know what happens then? You end up writing posts all in questions or posts with BAD limericks. Not my finest moments, people.

Also, since you have to post every day, and not like write 10 posts on the weekend and post them ahead into the future, you actually have to be home to post before midnight. Which, one time, last year, I left a BAR EARLY to go home and blog because it was almost midnight. And I’m already enough of a loser, what with hating Halloween and my daddy issues, that I don’t need to be skipping out on fun things to go home and post a photo of my cats.

I really like the idea of NaBloPoMo. Don’t get me wrong. I really think there is a lot to the fact that if you do write everyday and really be diligent about it, you will hone your skills. You’ll push out all the crap and come up with some good shit. (No pun intended.)

But I have a hard enough time these days coming up with things to write about. I have been in a bit of a blogging funk. I really think, since unemployment, my blog has suffered a little. The motivation isn’t there as much. And I don’t feel the need to put a post up just to put a post up. Because when I’m focused enough to want to write and actually do post, the stuff I’ve put up lately has been pretty craptacular. (Case in point, this post! Huzzah!)

I am debating trying my hand at the novel writing portion of November. It is some other NaMaLamADingDongMo title. Basically, you write a 50,000-word novel in the month. Which is a lot of words. Even for a wordy motherfucker like me. I’m not ruling that out, just yet. And I may not tell anyone I’m doing it so I don’t have EPIC FAIL to share with the world.

Instead, I’m hoping to make November my NaIFinGoJoMo month. Which stands for National I Finally Got A Job Month.

Category: All Things Blogging | 22 Comments »
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