Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on February 10, 2009

When we last left our house-hunting heroine, she was in the process of possibly putting down an offer. And making it all REAL. And hoping her brother didn’t find any serious problems with her dream condo because she loved it and she didn’t want to have to murder him right there in said condo. I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t help the re-sale. Plus, the developer probably makes you pay more to get blood out of hardwood.

Well, good news people! My brother and sister-in-law loved it! My brother did a fine inspection and Noah and Skyler ran around and came close to falling off the balcony. Not really, but you can never be sure with them. Skyler even tested out the toilet and it seems to be working just fine.

So, we’re all set! I put my offer in on Saturday. We (and by we, I mean my rock star realtor) did some fine negotiating work and we came to an excellent agreement. I’m getting an awesome deal and I can’t wait to move in! I officially close on March 31, pending all the other things that go into it like attorney reviews and inspections and making sure the bank really will give me the money! I’m sure they’ll be all “GOTCHA! We were never really going to loan you money! Good luck with your housing search!”

I have my inspection on Wednesday evening. I have my attorney and he’s going to be looking at the contract and he actually said he loves real estate law and he plans to talk me through the whole contract, piece by piece. And that made me just want to kiss him through the phone. Because I feel I am in very capable hands.

I would like to go off on a bit of a tangent right here. I know this process isn’t over and there is still much paperwork and waiting and other things I don’t know about to happen. But I have to say, I could not be happier with this whole process. I cannot sing the praises of my realtor enough. She is GOOD at what she does. And she has all the patience in the world for first-time buyers. And she has only my very best interests in mind. The people she deals with are all top notch and I am so much smarter from this experience because of her.

Even the lender I am going to end up using made me feel much better about the process. The first guy was nice, but he made it seem like he was doing me a favor by giving me money and scared me about even starting the process. The new guy, he was so nice and walked me through the whole process and closing costs and everything that goes along with it. He even calculated out my monthly payments for me. And I’m getting a much better deal.

Obviously this is a very scary process. Believe me, I haven’t slept much since this all started. I mean, what idiot buys a house in a recession? I am scared every day that I will lose my job. And then I won’t have to worry about getting evicted, I’ll have to worry about losing my house and my shirt. Not that I didn’t worry about those things before I ventured into house buying. But this is just added stress.

But one thing I’ve learned is you can lose your job any time. And I just can’t live in fear of that. Because Nexium or no Nexium, that kind of worrying will burn a hole right in your stomach. Now if I could just start believing that.

I have to keep telling myself that I’ve bounced back before. I’ve always come out the other side JUST FINE. And if anything were to happen, I am confident that I will be fine. I’m a tough bitch and I have had to endure many craptastic things in my life. If anything were to happen, I’m not going down without a fight. I will fight my way through the next obstacle like I have all the ones in the past. I am resilient. And not above taking seven part-time jobs to pay my mortgage, if need be.

And now with that out of the way, I can go back to being over-the-moon-excited! I really am so happy with my new place. I’m excited that I’m doing this all on my own. I’m really proud of myself that I’ve taken on such a big undertaking, one I didn’t know much about, and have come out of it with an awesome first home and am much, much wiser about the whole process. I’m thankful that I know so many people who have been through this and have answered my silly questions and dealt with all my talk of this and nothing else.

Now, knock on wood, I won’t be mentioning anything else about it until I close and it is a done deal. And then expect plenty of posts about my new place. I am already crafting and Ode to My Washer and Dryer and a limerick about my dishwasher.

To which Bacon says “Put the ‘B’ in BLT” where B stand for bedroom, one that he will have all to himself in the new pad. (Just don’t tell him he has to share it with the cats. He will be devastated.)

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Also, I’m guest posting over here today. So go over and read about my thoughts on Facebook.

Category: House Hunting | 35 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on February 8, 2009

So this afternoon I finally decided to open the mail that had been piling up for the last couple of days weeks. Since all my bills are paid automatically through my checking account, there isn’t much to open besides the credit card statements, and I know the exact days those are paid each month.

Mostly it is junk, or copies of the bills that have been paid, CDs that were Christmas presents in January, etc. In this pile there were a lot of W-2s and tax information and a few envelopes from my stupid insurance company. I ignored them for the most part because I thought they were just sending me a reminder that my health insurance from the old job, as part of the severance, is about to expire at the end of February. (And the insurance at my new job takes over on March 1. How perfectly did that work out?) So I didn’t rush to open them because I’m well aware that my old insurance runs out February 28.

Well as is almost always the case when I let my mail pile up in-between several issues of US Weekly, there’s usually something relatively important that I miss. Like say, for example, a letter from the unemployment office telling you to call them because they didn’t realize you got a new job. Not that that has ever happened to me.

In this stack of mail, I had three separate things from CIGNA. They were all about my most recent prescription. My prescription for Nexium to cure the FIRE IN MY BELLY. Basically these letters, ALL THREE OF THEM, told me that “hey, we’re so not filling any more prescriptions for Nexium for you. That is a Step Three drug and you’re not allowed to use those drugs because they are expensive and cheaper drugs do the same thing. Like Prilosec. You should totally use Prilosec. Prilosec is awesome. Here is a coupon for Prilosec OTC. It’s totally available over the counter now, Prilosec is, and we are showing how much we love Prilosec and our need for you to use Prilosec, buy using it as many times as we can in this letter. Sincerely, Prilosec. I mean CIGNA.”

I’m so not even kidding.

I get why they are doing it. I mean, Nexium is expensive. Even with a prescription, it was quite a bit. But it was what my doctor prescribed. Because it HEALS the lining of the stomach, and since that is what she thinks I need, she did what I pay her to do, and FIX IT. It wasn’t like she was carrying around a “everybody needs The Purple Pill” sign and using a Nexium pen and had painted the waiting room the same purple of the pill. She’s not in the drug companies back pocket. (Well, she may be, but she doesn’t come off that way. I mean the purple candies she makes everyone try and eat were a little over the top.)

The thing that bothers me is that I go to the doctor once or twice a year, usually. The amount of money I pay for my insurance premium is probably more than the costs I incur by going to the doctor each year. I always get generics and I avoid the doctor like the plague. Insurance companies must love me.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE that I have insurance and that for a $20 co-pay, I can go to the doctor and get medicine and my issues resolved. That is not the issue. I know I am very fortunate and that many people out there are not as fortunate. Which is what Barack Obama is going to fix.

But my issue is that because this drug is “like every other acid reducer out there, like Prilosec OTC” the insurance company refuses to let me have it. And since my doctor prescribed it for 6 weeks, and my insurance would only fill it for 30 days, I am now stuck in insurance hell-hole right now while I try to get my refill. My refill for 12 pills. Twelve. And now I’ll probably have to go use Prilosec (but only the generic is allowed before you’re allowed to try any other acid reducers.) And then if that doesn’t work, I get to try other acid reducers to see if they work before I get to go back to Nexium again, which DOES work, thankyouverymuch.

I can call my doctor and she can call the insurance company and try to tell them why she prescribed this and that it is only, right now, for six weeks, and that she had good cause to prescribe this particular medicine for me. Which, I will do, but again, all this is a bunch of bullshit to go through for trained professionals. My doctor is not an idiot. I trust her. Therefore, CIGNA, since she’s part of your network, maybe you should too.

Meanwhile, I’ll just sit here and stew in my own stomach juices. Thanks.

Category: Rants & Rants, Reflux Buuuuurrrnnns | 33 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on February 5, 2009

Look, I resisted doing this meme. But then my inbox was filling up day, after day, after day with all these people tagging me in a note on Facebook. So I’m doing it. I mean literally everyone is doing it. I think I’ve been tagged 25 times, so this should stop the tagging, right? Please, let’s stop with the tagging! We’re getting too MySpacey!

Like many other bloggers, I’m posting here instead of on Facebook. Because I may have accepted friend requests on Facebook of people I don’t really like. People from high school that I was never even friends with. And they don’t need to read this. And I overshare with all of you anyway, so this is par for the course.

I would like to point out, though, I have shared more than 25 things about you on this site. I’ve done a 201 Things list. I’ve done that “weird things about you” meme too many times to count. (Seriously? I’ve done that meme five separate times? How do I have anything left to share?) So the fact that I can come up with 25 more is a fucking miracle.

1. I had dinner with the Hotfessional tonight. That’s not really about me, but you didn’t know that until now.
2. I actually call her The Hotfessional. That’s how she’s listed in my cell phone and that’s what I tell my mom about who I’m going out with, when I go out with her. It’s going to be weird at BlogHer this year because I might have to call her by her real name. It’s like last year when Mr Lady was all “my name is Shannon.” And I’m all “NO IT IS NOT! IT IS MR LADY!”
3. Are we already talking about BlogHer? It’s February. I’m going, of course, since I live in Chicago. I don’t really have a choice.
4. BlogHer 2007 was in Chicago and I DID NOT go. A fact that Metalia scolds me for. But I was pretty new to blogging and I honestly didn’t know anyone. And I needed a posse. People I knew wouldn’t leave my side. People who would encourage me to steal a bowl of Cheetos. People part of a small Honesty Group.
5. I own a Snuggie. And I love it. I would love it more if it was like a poncho and covered my back more. So I didn’t get chilled when I got up off the couch to refill my popcorn bowl, or wine glass, as the case may me.
6. I am not subtle. Especially when I’m drinking. I am loud and obnoxious and tell it like it is. Some find it endearing. Or that’s how it seems to me.
7. I have very sensitive eyes. I wear sunglasses even when it is overcast. Part of the reason is that it is a lot easier to stare at people when you’re wearing sunglasses.
8. Although, many a time, I will be caught staring at someone and realize that no, dumbass, you aren’t wearing sunglasses. They are my invisibility cloak.
9. I love to eavesdrop. I am an expert at it. In fact, in high school, I was in the Psychology Club. And we had a Psychology Fair. (I KNOW! I’m a nerd! I GET IT!) And our project was dichotic listening, which is the ability to listen to two things at once. Most people can’t. I can. Although, I’m not as good as it as I used to be. Back before I drank alcohol.
10. Speaking of, I didn’t drink or party in high school. I didn’t drink until college. And even in college, I didn’t drink too much. I made up for it after college when I moved to California. Oh the drunken nights spent in the Marina District in San Francisco.
11. I hate taking showers. I feel they are a waste of my time. Time I could spend sleeping.
12. I love to read, but that wasn’t always the case. I read when I was younger. I was addicted to R.L. Stein and Christopher Pike books as a young adult. But I don’t remember reading for pleasure much in college. But now I read a minimum of two books a month.
13. I talk to myself. A lot. When I worked at the Niners, my desk was really close to the intern’s desk. One year we had this cute, adorable intern named Quinn. For months I would say things out loud, tell myself to do things, talk back to emails and he would answer me. Finally, about mid-season, he stopped answering. He finally got it that I wasn’t talking to him.
14. I have an irrational fear of pink eye. My old job was in the ghetto on the South Side of Chicago. And there was a Dunkin Donuts in a gas station right near the office. I would stop there on occasion to get coffee. And every time I was CONVINCED that I was going to get pink eye from the handles on the door. So much so that the first thing I would do when I got to the office was go to the bathroom to wash my hands.
15. I have lived in A LOT of apartments. The current apartment I’m living in, is the longest I have been in one place since before I left for college. I have lived here 3 1/2 years. In California, I lived in five apartments in six years.
16. When I graduated college, I sent my resume to every NFL team. And I kept the rejection letters from almost every NFL team (except the 49ers) for years. I threw them away after I started at the Niners and was in charge of sending out the rejection letters to candidates. To this day, though, I still remember the one from the Vikings. It wasn’t a standard ding letter (or maybe it was). It was HARSH. Basically it was all “give up your dream now of working in the NFL. You’ll never make it.” Which is kind of funny considering the people the Vikings hired in their PR department.
17. I hate confrontation. You wouldn’t think so, since I’m so outspoken and like to speak my mind. But I will only embrace confrontation with people that I know will always love me regardless. So I tend only to confront family and very close friends.
18. Because I’m too nice to a fault. I want everyone to love me.
19. When I was a kid, every time we would go to a restaurant, the minute we would sit down, I would spill something, a glass of water, my milk, whatever. And every time I would cry. My family still tells this story all the time. Now they are passing it on to new generations, telling my niece and nephew how stupid Auntie was as a kid. It’s as awesome as it sounds.
20. I used to cry when my sports teams lost. And not when I was a kid. I’m talking high school. I get so invested that it would upset me SO MUCH when they would lose. It’s kind of weird I ended up at Arizona State where all our sports teams did was lose.
21. Hey! I’m clearly a crier! When I was young, I used to cry and whine and complain every February because my brother and sister’s birthdays are a day (and six years) apart. So I would cry out “it’s not fair!” when they would get presents and I wouldn’t. Until I realized in doing so, I ended up getting presents myself. I’m not an idiot.
22. I’m afraid to introduce any future mate to my family because the first thing they will all do is tell all the embarrassing stories about me. I can guarantee it. I would bet my down payment of my house on it.
23. I love taking public transportation. I love learning the system of the buses and trains. I love taking public transportation in new cities I visit. I think it is the perfect way to get around. This might be because of all the creepy cab drivers that hit on me.
24. I wasn’t a baseball fan until later on in my life, like my late teens. (As opposed to football, which I was a fan of before I could talk.) Before I was of legal drinking age, I used to think baseball was so boring. I didn’t get into it. Until one summer when I was home all day, since I wasn’t in school, and watched like every Cubs game on TV. I fell in love with Mark Grace and the rest is history. Especially once I could go to the games and drink!
25. I’ve never seen The Godfather. None of them.

Category: Memes | 27 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on February 4, 2009

Oh hai, I lied. This is so going to turn into a house blog. At least until I buy it and move and and can be all whew, let me sit down and chill for a bit while I wash my clothes IN THE HOUSE and wash my dishes in a DISHWASHER. Oh, what’s that you say? I can’t hear you over my new WHIRLPOOL TUB.

And yes, I just realized I jinxed myself. But so be it. I am excited! Woot!

So tonight, I went to look at more properties with my realtor. “What?” you’re all saying. “Why would you keep looking if you love this other condo so much and want to buy it?”

Well, people, for one, I have to think about money, since I am neither made of it nor do I have it coming out my asshole. And there were two re-sale units in the same building as MY condo (it’s totally mine now) and one was listed at $30,000 less. And I figured I HAD to look at it because who doesn’t like to save $30k? NO ONE, that is who.

The other one was about $10k less and looked decent in the photos. Again, if it is less than a year old and $10k less and on par with the new one, my one, then who am I to be all snobby and needing new appliances? I mean, my current stove is probably the one Wilma cooked Brontosaurus burgers on for Fred.

Well, hoo boy am I glad I went to look.

Both of these re-sales were short sales, which I wasn’t too excited about, but if it could save me money in the long run, I’m all for it.

First up was the unit for $10k less than the one I want. It wasn’t too bad. But it wasn’t great. It wasn’t worth spending less on, in exchange for getting a new one. The dishwasher wasn’t like the rest of the appliances (it was black and everything else was stainless steel.) The dishwasher was in the middle of the kitchen floor. The whole place was dirty and really banged up. There were cracks in the ceiling. It was on the top floor, but it also was across the hall from a night club, apparently. Granted it was 6 PM, but there is no reason the play your music THAT LOUD. Ever. Although, it might have been that loud because the smoke detector in the empty unit was running out of batteries and was doing that annoying chirpy-beep thing every 10 seconds. And also, it looked like a squatter was living there, sleeping on a blanket by the TV in the second bedroom.

NEXT!

Next up was the unit listed at $30k less than the new unit I want. The listing said, and I quote, “floor in kitchen needs some repair.” So when we walked in, I was expecting some issues with the hardwood, nothing major. “Some repair” to me is MINOR. Right?

WRONG! “Some repair” meant THERE WAS NO KITCHEN FLOOR! I wish I had brought my camera (what was I thinking??) because NO FLOOR. And also? NO CABINETS! And also? MOLD EVERYWHERE. The hardwood was warped, there were water stains on the carpet in both bedrooms. It was insane. My realtor said that a lot of times in short sales, people will just flood the place and ruin everything. I mean, their credit is ruined, why not? WHY NOT? Because you’re supposed to be a sane human being! Not a human being that floods condos and STEALS FAUCETS! Oh yes, they did.

I have made a decision that I’m never buying a short sale. Also, I won’t make fun of the other short sale where the dirty boys didn’t clean their bathroom. Because at least they had a floor! And closet doors! And FAUCETS!

So, needless to say, I’ve made my decision. I’ve worked everything out with a new lender and I’m ready to make an offer. I’m going to see the unit again on Saturday, bringing my brother and SIL in tow to look at it. My SIL will have 100 ideas about decorating and paint and I want my brother to kick the tires and make sure it all looks good.

After this, I should be done with the house talk. All that’s left to announce is that it is all final and that I’m moving in. And I can so do that over Twitter.

Category: House Hunting | 28 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on February 2, 2009

So remember my heartburn/tummy troubles? I haven’t really blogged a lot about them for a few weeks. Mostly because I haven’t been blogging regularly in the last two weeks. Want to know why? Because caffeine is the only way I can function.

I’ve been off caffeine for a little over two weeks. I’ve been taking that purple pill every day for like 17 days and there is marked improvement. I feel better. I’m not ingesting whole bottles of Tums. I’m really working on removing acidic foods from my diet. And I think it is all helping.

Well, until recently. See, I had my first cup of coffee in over two weeks on Saturday. It was like the nectar of the Gods. Coffee has never tasted that good. I enjoyed it and savored it and after I finished? No tummy troubles. I WAS CURED! HUZZAH! Except I’m not an idiot and knew it was because it wasn’t on an empty stomach and that one cup won’t bother me, but going back to 1-2 cups a day probably will.

And then in my coffee cockiness, probably from the high of finding a condo and because CAFFEINE IS MAGICAL, I had a burrito for dinner. I was still good after the burrito. And then I threw all caution to the wind and decided to have a Diet Pepsi AND tomato soup for dinner on Sunday. BECAUSE I’M A FUCKING IDIOT.

The result? Mild, yet annoying, reflux for the last day and a half. And that is with NO acidic foods since the soup. My stomach is just giving me a big fucking middle finger and yelling “that will teach you, Cocky McArrogantpants!”

And the plan wasn’t even to write about all of the burning that is going on right now. The plan was to talk about how I cannot function without caffeine. And how sad it is that the only 2 cups of coffee I had each day really got me through. Either that or I’m looking for an excuse to be lazy. It’s totally either one of those things.

I figured that once I got used to no morning coffee, I would be fine. I mean, I didn’t drink coffee until I was about 27 years old, so this isn’t a life-long habit. In fact, I forced myself to like coffee back then because I was only getting 3 hours a sleep a night and I actually needed something to get me through the day. And it was football season, so there was no napping under the desk.

I haven’t gotten used to days without coffee. I’m tired all day. I’ve started to go to bed earlier to help my body get used to just being well-rested and not in need of a jolt from a drug. But my body believes that the only true mark of a good night’s sleep is to sleep for 11 or more hours. And well, then I’d have to go to bed when I came home. And well, when I get home, I have to eat my boring, plain diet of things that are not acidic. Did you know that you can get tired of ranch dressing? Because all you want is Italian dressing, but you can’t because oh, the vinegar, it BUUUUURRRNNNSSS! I would gnaw off my left toe for some vinaigrette.

Anyway, so I tell myself that I should start to work out more to help with the lack of energy. Pre-crazy-cut-caffeine-out-of-your-diet plan, I was doing the 30 Day Shred. I was trying to do it 3-4 times a week and doing well. Since this diagnosis, I haven’t had the desire. Mostly because I’ve fallen into the habit of falling asleep on the couch at 8 PM. That and last week I went out a few nights and didn’t get enough sleep and drank too much alcohol.

So my goal this week is to get back into a workout routine. It makes me feel better, sleep better, pants fit better, I know this. I just have to convince myself of this when the 8 PM nap rolls around. And also, for the love of God, it’s 20 fucking minutes. The couch and TV will still be there when I’m done.

And then after that, maybe my stomach will forgive me for my transgressions this weekend and we can be friends again and we can have Mr. Dunkin Donuts over for coffee. Because that would be swell.

Category: Medical Mishaps, Reflux Buuuuurrrnnns | 29 Comments »
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