Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on October 4, 2007

And without further ado, in honor of my 201st post, here are 201 Things About Kristabella.

Or, alternately titled Kristabella Has A Conversation With Herself Inside Her Head

Or, 201 Is A LOT Of Things

Or, No One Will Make It To The End

Or, Yes I Can Do It Hotfessional

1. My name is Kristin
2. I wanted to put my full name
3. But am still afraid of The Man
4. I don’t come up when I Google my name
5. But there is a member of the Donner Party
6. I am 30.
7. It’s harder to write that and say it than I thought it would be
8. It means I get tired easier
9. And staying out drinking until all hours requires a full day to recover
10. Which totally blows
11. I am a middle child
12. Shocking, no?
13. My older brother’s name is Mike
14. He is married and has two kids. You see them here often
15. My younger sister’s name is Courtney
16. She has a son
17. I was not close to them growing up
18. I hated my brother until high school, and then we got very close
19. That makes me happy
20. My sister and I are close, despite my outward displeasure with some choices she’s made
21. My parents got divorced when I was 8 (maybe 10)
22. We did not grow up with a lot of money
23. Most days, I’m shocked at how my single mom did it, raising three kids on her own
24. And she did an awesome job
25. I don’t tell her that enough
26. My mom is my best friend
27. We talk almost every day
28. I can tell her anything
29. Although, she probably wishes that weren’t the case at times
30. My dad got re-married
31. I didn’t like my stepmom at first
32. Because I was a pre-teen and was just a bitch
33. But now I love her. She’s great
34. They had three kids, all girls, my half-sisters
35. I babysat all three of?them as newborns
36. The oldest is a sophomore in college
37. Yes, it makes me feel old
38. My Dad battled alcoholism his entire life
39. He lost the battle in 2002.
40. I’m not actually sure it was 2002
41. I didn’t go to the funeral
42. It was during training camp
43. Right after we got back from Japan
44. Not that it mattered, I wouldn’t have gone anyway
45. The night he died, I went to a minor league baseball game in Stockton
46. It was $2 beer night
47. THAT I remember
48. When he died, I hadn’t talked to him in about 5 years
49. A decision I do not really regret
50. He hurt me more than any person has ever hurt me
51. And I’m not sure I’ve forgiven him completely yet
52. Because still now, all these years later, I’m still looking for his approval
53. Yes, I realize this is messed up
54. And it’s what I learned in therapy
55. But I miss him
56. And I miss the fact he missed out seeing the awesome person I’ve become
57. And that he won’t walk me down the aisle
58. You know, if I ever get married
59. Some days, I am scared that I’ll never find my true love
60. Because I’m all talk when I say I’m OK marrying my DVR
61. I want the family and the white picket fence
62. I’m tall. Just like my dad.
63. I’m 5-11
64. And it’s all in my legs
65. Which makes it hard to find pants
66. Well, that and my fat ass makes it hard
67. I’m a huge sports fan
68. I love the Cubs, Bears and Arizona State Sun Devils
69. I got my passion for sports from my mom
70. She and I would watch the Bears every Sunday
71. She taught me about football
72. She took me to my first Bears game
73. In the middle of December
74. I thought I was going to lose my toes
75. I no longer cheer for the 49ers
76. Because they don’t pay me to do it anymore
77. And John York treats his employees like crap
78. Which you don’t realize until you work at other places
79. Places like my current job that a lot of people have worked at for over 30 years
80. And weekends off are NOT overrated
81. Nor is drinking beer in the stands at sporting events
82. I enjoyed my time with the Niners, but it was time to get out of there
83. Everyone thinks it is so glamorous, but it is still a job
84. A job where you aren’t allowed to do certain things because you lack a certain appendage
85. Which I never got used to
86. Because I don’t like to be told I can’t do something
87. Especially if that reason is because I have a vagina
88. I played the saxophone for 8 years
89. At one point I wanted to be the next Kenny G
90. It embarrasses me to type that out
91. Thankfully I snapped out of that daze
92. I decided my junior year of high school that I wanted to be a sportscaster
93. And that I was going to get my degree from Notre Dame
94. Obviously, neither of those things happened
95. I applied to three colleges – Notre Dame, ASU and Marquette
96. Marquette only for my mom, since it was only 90 miles away
97. I threw away ASU’s brochure the first time I got it
98. Until my brother said “that would be a cool place to go to school”
99. And that shows you how much his opinion did (and still does) mean to me
100. Once I decided, my Grandma told me there was no way I could move that far away from home and go to school
101. She said my brother could do it, but I wouldn’t last a month
102. I decided right then and there that I was going to Arizona State
103. And I didn’t move back home for the next 10 years
104. Partly just to prove her wrong
105. It was the best decision I ever made
106. Every kid should go away for school
107. When I didn’t get into Notre Dame, I cried
108. Bawled like a huge baby
109. It was my dream
110. Mostly because I know my dad wanted that
111. I even debated transferring to Notre Dame after my first semester at ASU
112. Thankfully that was a fleeting thought
113. I had a good time at ASU
114. So much so, I got Sparky tattooed on my ankle
115. A week before I was standing up in my brother’s wedding
116. That’s probably the most rebellious thing I’ve ever done in my life
117. My brother was pissed
118. My mom thought it was so cool
119. My mom is awesome
120. Because she will support me in anything I ever choose to do
121. I’ve only ever had one boyfriend
122. I met him four days before I turned 28
123. We only dated three months
124. But I thought he was the one
125. I was wrong
126. It took me a long time to get over him
127. He broke up with me on my mom’s birthday
128. While I was watching Grey’s Anatomy
129. It’s an amazing feat that I still like both those things
130. I am a reality show addict
131. But only the really trashy ones
132. I’m totally okay with that
133. Because I need to feel superior sometimes
134. I have a really great work ethic
135. Because I am a perfectionist
136. Which is why I procrastinate
137. But I think it might be just a little OCD
138. Like when I freak out over a line at 4.217″ in Quark rather than 4.215″, which would be a perfect .375″ from the line above it
139. See? OCD.
140. I have really bad eyes
141. I’ve had glasses since I was about eight
142. But I’m scared to death to get Lasik
143. Because contacts and glasses might be a hassle, but are better than being blind
144. I have very sensitive retinas
145. Which is why I always have to have sunglasses
146. Even if it isn’t sunny
147. An eye doctor told me it was typical of blonde-haired, blue-eyed people
148. Too bad my natural color is really brunette
149. But I’m half Swedish, so I’m a blonde
150. No matter what the roots of my hair say
151. I’m also half Polish
152. And yes, I know how to say beer in Polish
153. I think that beer is the one word you should know in any foreign language
154. I took Spanish for like 5 years of my life
155. And I’m pretty sure all I can say is “where is the bathroom?”
156. And “where’s mah beer?”
157. English is the only language I speak
158. An not particularly well
159. Except I can say “the potato salad looks delicious” in German
160. Don’t ask
161. I used to be a very negative person
162. But hitting rock bottom and going on anti-depressants really put things in perspective
163. So did getting fired
164. And now I really try and be a “glass half full” kind of girl
165. Despite all my rantings
166. I hate negative people
167. It?is hard to be friends with negative people
168. So I try to not be friends with Debbie (or Donny) Downers
169. I think I should make this my Match.com profile
170. I’m sure I’ll be off the market in a hot second
171. I wish I was more creative
172. So I could design my own site
173. Because this one? Is too boring and WHITE
174. But all the other WordPress options blow
175. I love rap music
176. I know Kanye West is an ass, but I love his music
177. He’s freaking talented
178. Even though he needs to get the hell over himself
179. I’m quite insecure
180. Even though I like to pretend I’m not
181. I put up a good front
182. Being all big-mouthed and loud
183. But I am a people pleaser
184. Which means no matter what, I just want people to like me
185. And tell me I’m funny
186. And pretty
187. I loathe horror movies
188. Remember that boyfriend from No. 120? He made horror movies
189. They weren’t any good
190. I love to read
191. I get that from my mom too
192. One of my favorites is Freakonomics
193. Probably because I generally don’t like non-fiction and I was convinced I wouldn’t like it
194. But I did, and I love those kind of pleasant surprises
195. I have an unhealthy obsession with pop culture
196. I am addicted to the lives of celebrities
197. So much so, I generally am clueless about what is going on in the real world
198. Who is this Obama person everyone keeps talking about?
199. Just kidding
200. I need to use the phrase “ass over teakettle” more often
201. This was not easy.

Categories: A Dash of the Crazy, All Things Blogging
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