201 Things You Never Wanted To Know

Posted By on October 4, 2007

And without further ado, in honor of my 201st post, here are 201 Things About Kristabella.

Or, alternately titled Kristabella Has A Conversation With Herself Inside Her Head

Or, 201 Is A LOT Of Things

Or, No One Will Make It To The End

Or, Yes I Can Do It Hotfessional

  1. My name is Kristin
  2. I wanted to put my full name
  3. But am still afraid of The Man
  4. I don’t come up when I Google my name
  5. But there is a member of the Donner Party
  6. I am 30.
  7. It’s harder to write that and say it than I thought it would be
  8. It means I get tired easier
  9. And staying out drinking until all hours requires a full day to recover
  10. Which totally blows
  11. I am a middle child
  12. Shocking, no?
  13. My older brother’s name is Mike
  14. He is married and has two kids. You see them here often
  15. My younger sister’s name is Courtney
  16. She has a son
  17. I was not close to them growing up
  18. I hated my brother until high school, and then we got very close
  19. That makes me happy
  20. My sister and I are close, despite my outward displeasure with some choices she’s made
  21. My parents got divorced when I was 8 (maybe 10)
  22. We did not grow up with a lot of money
  23. Most days, I’m shocked at how my single mom did it, raising three kids on her own
  24. And she did an awesome job
  25. I don’t tell her that enough
  26. My mom is my best friend
  27. We talk almost every day
  28. I can tell her anything
  29. Although, she probably wishes that weren’t the case at times
  30. My dad got re-married
  31. I didn’t like my stepmom at first
  32. Because I was a pre-teen and was just a bitch
  33. But now I love her. She’s great
  34. They had three kids, all girls, my half-sisters
  35. I babysat all three of?them as newborns
  36. The oldest is a sophomore in college
  37. Yes, it makes me feel old
  38. My Dad battled alcoholism his entire life
  39. He lost the battle in 2002.
  40. I’m not actually sure it was 2002
  41. I didn’t go to the funeral
  42. It was during training camp
  43. Right after we got back from Japan
  44. Not that it mattered, I wouldn’t have gone anyway
  45. The night he died, I went to a minor league baseball game in Stockton
  46. It was $2 beer night
  47. THAT I remember
  48. When he died, I hadn’t talked to him in about 5 years
  49. A decision I do not really regret
  50. He hurt me more than any person has ever hurt me
  51. And I’m not sure I’ve forgiven him completely yet
  52. Because still now, all these years later, I’m still looking for his approval
  53. Yes, I realize this is messed up
  54. And it’s what I learned in therapy
  55. But I miss him
  56. And I miss the fact he missed out seeing the awesome person I’ve become
  57. And that he won’t walk me down the aisle
  58. You know, if I ever get married
  59. Some days, I am scared that I’ll never find my true love
  60. Because I’m all talk when I say I’m OK marrying my DVR
  61. I want the family and the white picket fence
  62. I’m tall. Just like my dad.
  63. I’m 5-11
  64. And it’s all in my legs
  65. Which makes it hard to find pants
  66. Well, that and my fat ass makes it hard
  67. I’m a huge sports fan
  68. I love the Cubs, Bears and Arizona State Sun Devils
  69. I got my passion for sports from my mom
  70. She and I would watch the Bears every Sunday
  71. She taught me about football
  72. She took me to my first Bears game
  73. In the middle of December
  74. I thought I was going to lose my toes
  75. I no longer cheer for the 49ers
  76. Because they don’t pay me to do it anymore
  77. And John York treats his employees like crap
  78. Which you don’t realize until you work at other places
  79. Places like my current job that a lot of people have worked at for over 30 years
  80. And weekends off are NOT overrated
  81. Nor is drinking beer in the stands at sporting events
  82. I enjoyed my time with the Niners, but it was time to get out of there
  83. Everyone thinks it is so glamorous, but it is still a job
  84. A job where you aren’t allowed to do certain things because you lack a certain appendage
  85. Which I never got used to
  86. Because I don’t like to be told I can’t do something
  87. Especially if that reason is because I have a vagina
  88. I played the saxophone for 8 years
  89. At one point I wanted to be the next Kenny G
  90. It embarrasses me to type that out
  91. Thankfully I snapped out of that daze
  92. I decided my junior year of high school that I wanted to be a sportscaster
  93. And that I was going to get my degree from Notre Dame
  94. Obviously, neither of those things happened
  95. I applied to three colleges – Notre Dame, ASU and Marquette
  96. Marquette only for my mom, since it was only 90 miles away
  97. I threw away ASU’s brochure the first time I got it
  98. Until my brother said “that would be a cool place to go to school”
  99. And that shows you how much his opinion did (and still does) mean to me
  100. Once I decided, my Grandma told me there was no way I could move that far away from home and go to school
  101. She said my brother could do it, but I wouldn’t last a month
  102. I decided right then and there that I was going to Arizona State
  103. And I didn’t move back home for the next 10 years
  104. Partly just to prove her wrong
  105. It was the best decision I ever made
  106. Every kid should go away for school
  107. When I didn’t get into Notre Dame, I cried
  108. Bawled like a huge baby
  109. It was my dream
  110. Mostly because I know my dad wanted that
  111. I even debated transferring to Notre Dame after my first semester at ASU
  112. Thankfully that was a fleeting thought
  113. I had a good time at ASU
  114. So much so, I got Sparky tattooed on my ankle
  115. A week before I was standing up in my brother’s wedding
  116. That’s probably the most rebellious thing I’ve ever done in my life
  117. My brother was pissed
  118. My mom thought it was so cool
  119. My mom is awesome
  120. Because she will support me in anything I ever choose to do
  121. I’ve only ever had one boyfriend
  122. I met him four days before I turned 28
  123. We only dated three months
  124. But I thought he was the one
  125. I was wrong
  126. It took me a long time to get over him
  127. He broke up with me on my mom’s birthday
  128. While I was watching Grey’s Anatomy
  129. It’s an amazing feat that I still like both those things
  130. I am a reality show addict
  131. But only the really trashy ones
  132. I’m totally okay with that
  133. Because I need to feel superior sometimes
  134. I have a really great work ethic
  135. Because I am a perfectionist
  136. Which is why I procrastinate
  137. But I think it might be just a little OCD
  138. Like when I freak out over a line at 4.217″ in Quark rather than 4.215″, which would be a perfect .375″ from the line above it
  139. See? OCD.
  140. I have really bad eyes
  141. I’ve had glasses since I was about eight
  142. But I’m scared to death to get Lasik
  143. Because contacts and glasses might be a hassle, but are better than being blind
  144. I have very sensitive retinas
  145. Which is why I always have to have sunglasses
  146. Even if it isn’t sunny
  147. An eye doctor told me it was typical of blonde-haired, blue-eyed people
  148. Too bad my natural color is really brunette
  149. But I’m half Swedish, so I’m a blonde
  150. No matter what the roots of my hair say
  151. I’m also half Polish
  152. And yes, I know how to say beer in Polish
  153. I think that beer is the one word you should know in any foreign language
  154. I took Spanish for like 5 years of my life
  155. And I’m pretty sure all I can say is “where is the bathroom?”
  156. And “where’s mah beer?”
  157. English is the only language I speak
  158. An not particularly well
  159. Except I can say “the potato salad looks delicious” in German
  160. Don’t ask
  161. I used to be a very negative person
  162. But hitting rock bottom and going on anti-depressants really put things in perspective
  163. So did getting fired
  164. And now I really try and be a “glass half full” kind of girl
  165. Despite all my rantings
  166. I hate negative people
  167. It?is hard to be friends with negative people
  168. So I try to not be friends with Debbie (or Donny) Downers
  169. I think I should make this my Match.com profile
  170. I’m sure I’ll be off the market in a hot second
  171. I wish I was more creative
  172. So I could design my own site
  173. Because this one? Is too boring and WHITE
  174. But all the other WordPress options blow
  175. I love rap music
  176. I know Kanye West is an ass, but I love his music
  177. He’s freaking talented
  178. Even though he needs to get the hell over himself
  179. I’m quite insecure
  180. Even though I like to pretend I’m not
  181. I put up a good front
  182. Being all big-mouthed and loud
  183. But I am a people pleaser
  184. Which means no matter what, I just want people to like me
  185. And tell me I’m funny
  186. And pretty
  187. I loathe horror movies
  188. Remember that boyfriend from No. 120? He made horror movies
  189. They weren’t any good
  190. I love to read
  191. I get that from my mom too
  192. One of my favorites is Freakonomics
  193. Probably because I generally don’t like non-fiction and I was convinced I wouldn’t like it
  194. But I did, and I love those kind of pleasant surprises
  195. I have an unhealthy obsession with pop culture
  196. I am addicted to the lives of celebrities
  197. So much so, I generally am clueless about what is going on in the real world
  198. Who is this Obama person everyone keeps talking about?
  199. Just kidding
  200. I need to use the phrase “ass over teakettle” more often
  201. This was not easy.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to β€œHey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


20 Responses to “201 Things You Never Wanted To Know”

  1. […] I’ve put a link to this article here […]

  2. alyndabear says:

    You made it! Congratulations, girl, you’re officially a rambler with too much time on her hands. πŸ˜‰

    I think you’re great. And pretty. And awesome. And I want to see a picture of your tattoo, you rebellious girl, you.

    (And you will not go blind from Lasik, trust me, I had it done in May!) xo

  3. Mahnee says:

    I love you, too. You are awesome in every sense of the word.

  4. Marianne says:

    Seriously? Did you finish that list? You’re awesome. I think I would have “accidentally” skipped a couple of numbers here and there. But, me? I are lazy.

    So much to comment on … Bottom line is I think you’re pretty darned cool (Is that really a compliment coming from one so chunky and lame?) and am so looking forward to a coffee tawlk!! πŸ™‚

  5. Carrie says:

    Wow! I don’t think I could come up with all of those things if I tried! πŸ™‚ Congrats on 200 posts!

  6. Ree says:

    Girlfriend! YOU ROCK!

    Now I really can’t wait to get together. Only 18 more days!

    Donde esta cerveza mia?

  7. Scarlet says:

    I read them all. Agreed with many and definitely learned some new things.

    I now forget on which one I was going to comment…dammit!

  8. Schwerer says:

    Love you Martha, you are da bomb!

  9. Julie C says:

    Loved reading these… I heart you because you live and breathe #80 and 81… And in honor of #159, say it with me, “Der Kartoffelsalat sieht lekker aus!” Ja wohl! πŸ˜‰

  10. sherry smyth says:

    Can you hear me clapping?!? Bravo!! You would not know that this was not easy for you…you made it look like it flowed from your brain to the keyboard.
    Glad to know you better. I “heard” so many of the things you said.

  11. Mouncie says:

    Wow reading that makes me realize we have so much more in common than I thought. I thought I just liked you because you were funny and good company to hang out with. We really do need to get together and have a few beers!

  12. 202. i secretly have a crush on rich.
    203. i knew my mom and gramma were right about him! they always are.

  13. kristabella says:

    204. I just vomited a little in my mouth.

  14. Michelle says:

    I started wearing glasses at 6 years old. I feel the same way about lasik.

  15. betsey says:

    hey kj – i’ve been meaning to comment since your great de-lurk a few posts ago. i love this post. i love reading your site. you’re so honest and you’re a great writer. i think i learned more from this 201 things about you than i did knowing you for the past few years. you’re an amazing lady. and this is officially a love-fest, so i’m going to stop. go kj! you rock!

  16. Swishy says:

    WOW! I am impressed. I had a hard time coming up with eight things once. I, too, am scared to death of Lasik. I will never, ever get it.

  17. Fairy Godmother says:

    Kristabella I have known you your entire life and now I feel I know you even better. I Love You my Fairy God-Daughter. What a wonderful woman you are.

  18. It took 2 installments, but I just got to 201 (204 actually). And I agree that Kanye West is a big whiny baby, but I’ve got all his albums.

  19. Laurel says:

    Woo! Happy 201! So many facts that merit a comment, but most importantly:

    the best reality tv is the trashiest reality tv. I think that’s an indisputable fact!