Another House-Type Post

Posted By on February 4, 2009

Oh hai, I lied. This is so going to turn into a house blog. At least until I buy it and move and and can be all whew, let me sit down and chill for a bit while I wash my clothes IN THE HOUSE and wash my dishes in a DISHWASHER. Oh, what’s that you say? I can’t hear you over my new WHIRLPOOL TUB.

And yes, I just realized I jinxed myself. But so be it. I am excited! Woot!

So tonight, I went to look at more properties with my realtor. “What?” you’re all saying. “Why would you keep looking if you love this other condo so much and want to buy it?”

Well, people, for one, I have to think about money, since I am neither made of it nor do I have it coming out my asshole. And there were two re-sale units in the same building as MY condo (it’s totally mine now) and one was listed at $30,000 less. And I figured I HAD to look at it because who doesn’t like to save $30k? NO ONE, that is who.

The other one was about $10k less and looked decent in the photos. Again, if it is less than a year old and $10k less and on par with the new one, my one, then who am I to be all snobby and needing new appliances? I mean, my current stove is probably the one Wilma cooked Brontosaurus burgers on for Fred.

Well, hoo boy am I glad I went to look.

Both of these re-sales were short sales, which I wasn’t too excited about, but if it could save me money in the long run, I’m all for it.

First up was the unit for $10k less than the one I want. It wasn’t too bad. But it wasn’t great. It wasn’t worth spending less on, in exchange for getting a new one. The dishwasher wasn’t like the rest of the appliances (it was black and everything else was stainless steel.) The dishwasher was in the middle of the kitchen floor. The whole place was dirty and really banged up. There were cracks in the ceiling. It was on the top floor, but it also was across the hall from a night club, apparently. Granted it was 6 PM, but there is no reason the play your music THAT LOUD. Ever. Although, it might have been that loud because the smoke detector in the empty unit was running out of batteries and was doing that annoying chirpy-beep thing every 10 seconds. And also, it looked like a squatter was living there, sleeping on a blanket by the TV in the second bedroom.


Next up was the unit listed at $30k less than the new unit I want. The listing said, and I quote, “floor in kitchen needs some repair.” So when we walked in, I was expecting some issues with the hardwood, nothing major. “Some repair” to me is MINOR. Right?

WRONG! “Some repair” meant THERE WAS NO KITCHEN FLOOR! I wish I had brought my camera (what was I thinking??) because NO FLOOR. And also? NO CABINETS! And also? MOLD EVERYWHERE. The hardwood was warped, there were water stains on the carpet in both bedrooms. It was insane. My realtor said that a lot of times in short sales, people will just flood the place and ruin everything. I mean, their credit is ruined, why not? WHY NOT? Because you’re supposed to be a sane human being! Not a human being that floods condos and STEALS FAUCETS! Oh yes, they did.

I have made a decision that I’m never buying a short sale. Also, I won’t make fun of the other short sale where the dirty boys didn’t clean their bathroom. Because at least they had a floor! And closet doors! And FAUCETS!

So, needless to say, I’ve made my decision. I’ve worked everything out with a new lender and I’m ready to make an offer. I’m going to see the unit again on Saturday, bringing my brother and SIL in tow to look at it. My SIL will have 100 ideas about decorating and paint and I want my brother to kick the tires and make sure it all looks good.

After this, I should be done with the house talk. All that’s left to announce is that it is all final and that I’m moving in. And I can so do that over Twitter.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


28 Responses to “Another House-Type Post”

  1. -R- says:

    I love house talk! I will want to hear all about your decorating plans and such!

    It was smart to look at those other units, but WTF? NO FLOOR? I am with you- just because your credit is ruined doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be a decent human being.

    -R-s last blog post..The Next Blog Share

  2. Jen says:

    GOOD LUCK!!! with the offer. I have my fingers crossed for you! And that is crazy to hear about the condition of these short sale properties! NO FLOOR! Stolen faucets! Sweet sassy molassy.

  3. Rhi says:


    I wish there was like an extra place on your credit report where they could mark what condition you left the house in, in the event of a short sale or foreclosure. Which brings me to another topic – YOU SHOULD KNOW WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD! It’s nobody’s fault that you bought something beyond your means, so flooding it? Not necessary.

    With that said, my friend bought a condo that had been foreclosed on. She closed in June, and moved in right before the 4th of July. The unit had a dead Christmas tree in it when she moved in. SERIOUSLY.

    Rhis last blog post..25 Things You Could Have Gone Without Knowing

  4. Don’t stop talking about all this house stuff because I LOVE IT.

    Also? Wise move to stay away from the moldy places. They can cause serious health problems.

    Jen on the Edges last blog post..Dear Kraft

  5. YAY, I’m so excited for you, and so glad you are running far far away from the short sales! I want to hear more, you better post and let us know how it’s going with the offer.

    Dutchess of Kickballs last blog post..I Like Paranthesis Today (get over it)

  6. gillian says:

    But I don’t twitter!!! You HAVE to announce it here. I may go mad wondering! Can’t leave me hangin’ like that, man. Ain’t right.


    gillians last blog post..gettin’ my scrap on

  7. ali says:

    mmmm…brontosaurus burgers…

    no floor? i’m dying. how does that even happen?????

    yay! you’re totally buying a condo!

    alis last blog post..bubble girl

  8. Jessica says:

    Congratulations in advance!

  9. Melissa says:

    I can’t wait to hear what the family has to say about it. I’ll bet they love it as much as you do!!

    Melissas last blog post..Waiter, There’s A Fly In My Soup…Uh, No Really!!

  10. Alex says:

    I love the house talk too! Keep it coming please 🙂 Good luck!

  11. December says:

    LOL @ bro kicking the tires.
    And if you do get some change out of our hiney, you go ahead and keep that.

    (sidenote – do you remembe a$$pennies? from The State?)

    Decembers last blog post..cookies. nom nom nom

  12. Angella says:

    I’m so excited for you!! I know I said it before, but I am easily excitable.

    Angellas last blog post..Grace In Small Things: Cinq

  13. Giggle Pixie says:

    We looked at a repo condo once when we were house shopping. The entire basement had been flooded, walls were crumbling, and the stench from the mold in the basement literally overwhelmed you as soon as you walked in the door. Uh…yeah…good luck selling that unit.

    Giggle Pixies last blog post..Politically Correct Vocabulary Lesson

  14. I wish you all the luck! My advice would be (and I know you were dying for it) to find a place that you can really see yourself in. It’s good that you’re not deluded like some people would be and go for the much cheaper “fixer-upper.” If you’re paying more, it’s for your own peace of mind.

    Amanda Nicoles last blog post..I don’t think white is fashionable in Paris

  15. Jenn says:

    Congratulations! It sounds great!!

  16. Sheri says:

    I’m glad you know what you want, and no floor, wtf??? If you actually knew what you were doing in home improvement, it might be worth looking into a fixer upper, but I have learned that the home improvement dance isn’t all it is cracked up to be….and mold is nnnnaaaassstttty.

    Sheris last blog post..The Ultimate Loss

  17. Candy says:

    Snort…KJ has a house blog.

    I’m so excited for you. All digits crossed, which is making it hard to type.

    Candys last blog post..In Which I Realize there are NO Breaks to be had

  18. Darcey says:

    My parents own a few rental properties. In the state of Georgia, landlords are required to replace the carpet and add a fresh coat of paint between each set of renters (I think on leases of a year, though less if they were pet owners).

    My dad had to be “that guy” to serve an eviction notice to some tenants in one of the houses. What did they do? Spill an ENTIRE CAN of BLACK paint all over the carpets and smear it on the walls.

    The carpet, obviously, was no big deal, as it had to be replaced. But do you know how many coats of beige paint it took to cover BLACK? UGH.

  19. Keep the home talk coming…I’m taking notes for our purchase. (1) Bring hospital mask, gloves and funny bone to all searches (2) Tell realtor I only want to see places with floors (3) Don’t ever live in Chicago because snow sucks. Anything else?

    thecoconutdiariess last blog post..Pigskin Virgin

  20. Oh, apparently boys are icky.

    thecoconutdiariess last blog post..Pigskin Virgin

  21. Sarah says:

    I’m so excited for you.
    I went to look at a short sale house once. The previous owners took out the faucets, light fixtures, tub (?) and carpet. I was all WTF? and my hubby loved the place. Apparently he could see past all the crap. Men.

    Sarahs last blog post..The Most Awesomest Cake in the World

  22. TUWABVB says:

    Short sales are a totally pain in the butt logistically as well – sometimes it takes FOREVER to get the bank’s approval on an offer, so it’s great that you didn’t end up liking either of them. I honestly don’t understand people…I think the people that live in an apartment near us were forclosed on and we say them throwing a gas range in our dumpster. In other words, they took it with them form their house and then just threw it out. Crszy!

    TUWABVBs last blog post..The Remaining 17 Random Things About Me

  23. Hollylynne says:

    Good luck!

    Short sales can save you money, but not only do you have to deal with potential obvious problems (like missing kitchen floors) but they’re a bitch and a half to finance and close on as well. I’m sure there are lots of people out there who have successfully and painlessly purchased via short sale, but everyone I’ve seen attempt it ultimately had to back out of the home. Sometimes after months of negotiating. Not cool!

    I’ll be Twitter-stalking you for news! 🙂

    Hollylynnes last blog post..25 Things

  24. Matt says:

    Congratulations – this is exciting stuff. I remember when Carrie and I were ready to make our offer…it seemed surreal. Actually, the really exciting and hair-pulling-out-stressy time is AFTER the offer is made and you play stupid mind-games with the seller.

    The best part is when you are talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars – and it seems that the whole deal is going to fall apart over $1,200.

    But I know that won’t happen with you. I mean, I hope it won’t. I mean, it probably won’t. I mean, it’s awesome once it’s done 🙂

    Matts last blog post..Thursday Tech Tip – Password management and PDF reading

  25. Kimberly says:

    WONDERFUL! Can’t wait to start decorating MY room 🙂

    Kimberlys last blog post..Fallen Hard

  26. regan says:

    A whirlpool tub? I hate you.

  27. Woohoo! BlogHer pre-party at Kristabella’s Den of Looooove!

    Camels & Chocolates last blog post..I Saw a Bridge and So I Jumped

  28. Jennie says:

    Did you check it out again today? What did your Bro & SIL think? Details please!