Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on October 10, 2011

Last week I noticed that there was an odd noise in my building’s lobby. Then I noticed that this same weird noise was also present in my bathroom. It was a whirring kind of sound. It sounded like the people who live above me left the jets on in their jacuzzi tub. And then never shut them off.

But then I wondered “why would I hear that same noise in the lobby and then THREE FLOORS UP in my bathroom?”

Coupled with this noise? A change in water pressure. It was insane. The pressure was intense, my showers felt like someone switched my showerhead with that elephant washer one that Kramer had on Seinfeld. Although, in good news, my showers happened in a blink of an eye.

At first I didn’t worry. Because eh, who is really going to complain about better water pressure? Plus, I figured I’d just let someone else worry about it. Then I remembered that I own my place now. There is no landlord to fix things. If my pipes were to explode, I’d not only have a lake in my living room, I’d also have to fix it myself! And hope the cats didn’t drown!

So I did what any normal person would do, I watched this video:

Thankfully the mysterious whirring noise has stopped. The property managers were made aware and now all is well in Kristabellikstan.

And it wasn’t a pipe bomb.

Category: A Dash of the Crazy, A Day in the Life of Me, The Hizzouse, Videos | 6 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on September 29, 2011

So remember when I asked about growing out my bangs? And I asked for all of your opinions? And y’all were so helpful in that you were split down the middle?

Well, I decided to grow them out. And I think they are growing. I know they are fucking annoying.

I started out doing this.

(Oh, and also recently got it cut and colored dark again. This is my perfect and favorite shade.)

And that seemed to work well at the beginning when there was no humidity and it was cooler in Chicago. But then it’s not been arid here. Add into that when I move and sweat and then my “bangs” end up curling at the ends and they look like ass.

(This is me and my friend Teri at the wedding. She wasn’t driving, which is why she’s so drunk she’s not even looking at the person taking the photo.) (Hi Teri!)

So now I’m doing this:

And for the most part, I like it. It’s easy and I spend less time doing my hair. But I also think I look ridiculous. And also, 12.

So, people of the internet, please tell me I don’t look stupid. Even if you’re lying.

Also, I need other options because I feel like I look the exact same every day and it’s starting to annoy me. Can I pull them to one side? Pull them back to either side? WHAT?

Category: A Dash of the Crazy, A Day in the Life of Me, Assvice, Hairapy, Halp | 25 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on September 28, 2011

So back to the Bay Area for a weekend. As much as I had mixed feelings about it as I got there, I had an absolute blast and it was a perfect weekend away to get me relaxed and recharged. And drunk.

So on Wednesday night, since I got in so late, I decided to make my friend Sharon let me sleep on her couch. Thankfully, she’s a good friend and let me do so. We got to catch up for like an hour before we both passed out and her little puppy wondered why the party stopped.

Isn’t he so cute??

I had to rent a car since I was flying into SFO, staying in Novato, which is just north of San Francisco, and attending a wedding in Sonoma, which is about 30 miles east of Novato. I always opt for the economy car since I’m one person, not driving that much and really don’t care.

This is what they gave me.

The Kia HAMSTER CAR! I was kind of embarrassed. And by kind of, I mean a lot.

But then I drove it. And you guys, it’s a really nice little compact car. It is roomy, higher off the ground than a sedan and a pretty fun little car. I’m kind of sad to admit that I’m seriously considering it for my next car. For reals.

Thursday was spent doing a lot of nothing. I had breakfast and coffee in the City since I wanted to wait out the traffic on the Golden Gate Bridge before heading to my hotel. Once I got to my hotel, I checked in, grabbed some water and snacks (and wine) at the nearby Safeway and changed into my bathing suit and headed down to the pool.

It was so warm out! I even went in the water! I only lasted about 30-40 minutes because I was exhausted and wanted to nap. So nap I did! Because I could! I was on VACATION!

(Also, what is up with getting older and getting jet lag? I’ve never really experienced it before, mostly because I can sleep whenever. But this trip I was wide awake every morning at 6 AM.)

Thursday night I spent in my room. I ordered food from the bistro café in the hotel and paired that with my bottle of screw-top wine and hunkered in for some good TV. (Jersey Shore, Vampire Diaries and Grey’s, OH MY!)

Friday I was lucky enough to sucker Jennster into being my designated driver for some wine tasting. She doesn’t really drink, which worked out well for me. It also worked out well for her because she had never really even been to like half of the wine country in Napa. She’s all “Silverado Trail, what the hell is that?” So I took her to Mumm and ZD, among others, and then she made me go to Sutter Home. Where the wino in me was embarrassed. And also glad their tasting was free, seeing as it was White Zin, “sweet red” and moscato.

(My palate is way too refined for sweet wine. But I’m OK with cheap.)

On Friday night I was invited by my bride friend to a gathering after the rehearsal dinner. Sadly, I did not make it to that. I decided I needed a short nap after wine tasting and…….fell asleep until 11:30 PM. Sorry Tina!

Saturday was wedding day! The wedding was in the evening so I spent the morning relaxing and getting a pedicure. I was meeting my friends Kirk and Teri at a winery prior to the wedding for a private tasting. (It’s good to know the people who know people.) It was amazing and if you ever get a chance, do the Moone-Tsai tasting at Luna Vineyards. Our tasting came with a food pairing and I even ate pate for the first time in my life! AND LIKED IT! (My mom just fainted.)

I had so much fun catching up with Kirk and Teri. Kirk was my boss at the 49ers. I still refer to him as “my old boss” even though I haven’t worked for him for almost 7 years and now we’re just friends. But I miss living near them and I’m so glad we hung out before the wedding and got to catch up and laugh and talk really, really loud, like Teri and I are wont to do.

The wedding was perfect. My friend was beautiful and just GLOWING with happiness. I’ve know Kristina since 2001, I think. And she’s one of my closest friends. We’ve been through a lot. And I cannot be happier for her. Her new hubby is great and they are just perfect for each other and GAH! My heart swells seeing her that happy! She deserves it!

Congrats Brandon and Kristina!

Then Sunday, I stupidly booked a flight at 5:45 PM, which meant I got home after midnight. But at least I got to spend some more time back in SF and have lunch with Betsey and Hoddy and their son Max. We all met in SF and they now live in Minneapolis and I miss not living near them.

After lunch, I found a bar showing the Bears game, had 2 beers, almost got tackled by a drunk dude and then headed to the airport.

It was really a great trip. It was the perfect mix of relaxing and busy. I like having things to do, especially when I travel by myself, but I also love being able to sit around and do nothing. And not have to make my bed.

Although my bank account isn’t too happy with the amount of fine wine I purchased.

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, All Things Blogging, Gotta Have Friends, Hooch Hilarity, Travel, Whine & Cheese | 4 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on September 26, 2011

I spent the last four days in the San Francisco Bay Area. My friend Kristina got married in Sonoma at a winery on Saturday and I came out a few days early to spend some time relaxing in wine country.

I haven’t been back here in awhile. It was 2008, I think. To say it is weird being back is an understatement.

I spent six years in the Bay Area. It was really my most formative years. I became who I am today in those six years. It was post-college and I was exploring a whole new world of becoming an adult. And not only that, I was living 3,000 miles away from my family and knew not a soul in California.

I wouldn’t trade those six years for anything. Yeah, looking back, it was not always the best time, but I met some of my very best friends and strengthened the friendship with my two best friends who moved up to join me in CA a year after I did.

But I don’t miss being there. It was surreal to be driving up the 101 after I landed Wednesday night, into the City, past the football stadium where I spent a majority of my Sundays. The feeling I had wasn’t of longing. It was more of trepidation. I’m not sure why. Maybe because I went through A LOT there. Like I said, it shaped who I am.

And maybe it would be different if I was coming back to a place that was the same as I left it. It’s not. Most of my people aren’t there anymore. Yes, there are a few that are, but the rest of us are spread out all over the country.

Maybe that’s where the bit of sadness comes in. I was there alone, relaxing, and I miss people. Driving up to SF isn’t the same when you know that there are people who don’t live there anymore.

But I made the most of it and hung out with my friends who are still there and even got to see friends from Minnesota who were in SF to visit. They came as I was leaving and we had just enough time to catch up over lunch on Sunday!

More about my trip when I recover from it and the actually get some damn sleep. STUPID JET LAG!

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, Feeeelings, Gotta Have Friends, Travel | 4 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on September 19, 2011

Last week I turned the ripe, OLD age of 34. I had planned to write a post about it because my birthday is my absolutely most favorite day of the year. But when I opened up my laptop and started to write, all that came out was some depressing shit. So I just scrapped it and went to bed.

See, 34 is almost 35. And I have had these arbitrary goals and deadlines in my head for when I turn 35. And now that is less than a year away. And holy overwhelming Batman! (Also, key word being arbitrary and that NOTHING WILL HAPPEN IF I DO NOT DO SAID THING BY THE TIME I AM 35!)

The big one is that I’ve always said, in recent years, that if I wasn’t married and a mom by the time I was 35, then 35 was the year I would start to make that happen. And again, holy overwhelming Batman. That is NEXT FUCKING YEAR! I don’t think I’m ready for that. I freaked myself out so much I had to sit down and breathe through a paper bag. Over an arbitrary deadline and AN IMAGINARY BABY!

My birthday ended up being fantastic. I was very meh about it and reminded people of it only once a day, as opposed to once an hour. My co-workers decorated my cube and gave me some lovely flowers and a nice card. And then! One of them made a cake and they all sang to me and we ate delicious pound cake!

For lunch, I met my friends Jen and Kelley for a delicious meal of a burger and fries. After a bit more work, I headed out and went to dinner with another friend in my neighborhood. There I had a lot of wine and great food and the company was even better. I used to work with my friend Jennifer and I hadn’t seen her in a long time and it was good to catch up on more than just short emails.

This last Sunday, I made everyone come out to our football bar to drink beer and watch football with me. It was perfect and everyone showed up and we all had a great time! Well, that I can remember. There were a lot of shots involved and then even more shots. But the best part of day drinking is that you’re done before 6 PM and it is easy to get a lot of rest!

Overall, it was a perfect birthday. And I’m not done celebrating because I still have my celebration with Noah and Skyler and my brother and SIL next weekend. My birthday is the party that keeps on going.

34 will be a good year. I’m sure of it. I’m finally in a job that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. I have great friends and an amazing family. I’m a very, very lucky girl.

Sweetness indeed.

Category: A Dash of the Crazy, A Day in the Life of Me, Age is Just a Number, Deep Thoughts, Gotta Have Friends | 11 Comments »
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