THIEF!

Posted By on March 3, 2011

I think I have documented here how bad the coffee is at my workplace. I am convinced that it is the reason I started to have acid reflux back a few years ago. It’s really the only change in my life in that time that could cause it.

But I do love coffee. I am addicted to it. I NEED to have it in the mornings. I’m convinced that if I don’t drink it, I’m more tired throughout the day. And in the winter, it is non-negotiable since it is so cold in this office, I NEED the coffee to warm up me bones.

So the only options are really to buy coffee every day or drink the crappy coffee here in the office.

Back before the holidays, one of my lovely co-workers brought in some flavored creamer, this kind Peppermint Mocha. And I was hooked. I even wrote about my love of this creamer over at Food Lush because now that it is almost spring, I’m having a hard time finding this particular flavor.

Since I started Weight Watchers, I’ve been bringing in a measuring spoon for my creamer. Two tablespoons is two points and I can afford that each day. But no more than that. And let’s be honest, my lack of being able to eyeball measurements is how I got into this fat mess in the first place.

All these words are to say, I know how long my creamer should last. I mean, a serving is a tablespoon and the small bottle is like 32 tablespoons. If only I am using this bottle, the bottle should last three weeks.

NOT SO MUCH.

I brought in a small bottle of creamer on a Friday a few weeks ago and by Wednesday, I noticed it was more than half empty. This bottle is in the community fridge, but clearly marked with MY name. And I’m the only Kristin here.

There is another girl here who also brings creamer and I asked her if she noticed her stash was a little lighter than normal. She thought so, but couldn’t be sure. So I was all “I MEASURE it out each day, so I know! SOMEONE IS STEALING MY CREAMER!”

The next day, I got up to go grab a paper towel from the kitchen. At this time, I see one of the consultants in the IT department USING the creamer. (My co-worker and I have the same flavor, so I don’t know whose it was.) He poured it in his tea (BARF!) and then put it back in the fridge.

And then I proceeded to tell everyone in the office that this asshat was the thief!

I figured since he SAW me when he was stealing the creamer, this would stop. I would be wrong. Because the next morning, when I went to get coffee, I pulled out my bottle of creamer and there was nothing but an EMPTY bottle with my name on it in the fridge! EMPTY! He used up the rest and put an empty bottle in the fridge! MOTHER FUCKER!

This had to stop. The culprit sits near me. I came back from the kitchen all ragey, and I turned to my cubemate and we had the following conversation all while the THIEF was standing 2 feet from me:

ME: So, co-worker, did you hear about how someone is stealing my coffee creamer?

CW: No! That totally sucks!

ME: Yeah, the interesting thing, though, is I KNOW who it is!

(turns to glare at the THIEF who looks right at me, like he’s going to crap his pants!)

CW: You do???

Since then, I have had to resort to bringing my creamer in in a sports bottle and hiding it in the fridge. But I think it has solved the problem. Good thing he’s a consultant and isn’t going to be here much longer.

I still take every opportunity to loudly chide him whenever possible, though. Oh, and I’ve told everyone in the office he’s the THIEF! He’ll be so thankful when this consulting gig is up! HA!

 

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.

Comments

11 Responses to “THIEF!”

  1. Keith B says:

    I had the same problem years ago. I solved it by writting on the bottle, “Do not drink, I have pissed in this bottle” nobody touched it after that.

    • Dawn K. says:

      Brilliant. I resorted to address labels, but I know what is going on my jars/bottles the next time around.

  2. Bren says:

    I did the same thing over yogurt. Someone kept taking my lunch (out of a clearly marked bag) so I walked out of the lunch room – walked up and down the cubicle aisles stating very loudly to people I knew that I couldn’t believe someone would steal my lunch! EVERYONE in the office knew and it finally stopped but man that pissed me off! Who steals someone’s food? out of a lunch bag with their NAME on it?
    Bren´s last blog post ..7 Months old

  3. Dawn K. says:

    I keep some stuff on hand for PB&J sandwiches so I’m not tempted to go buy a lunch. I noticed my jelly (marked with my name) was being used, and after a week or so figured out who it was. Upon confronting this person, and a request to stop using my jelly, she said, “I guess, if that’s what you really want.” DUDE! You’re STEALING my food. I don’t get how you can think that’s ok…I guess it must be how they were raised?

  4. Angella says:

    Haaaaaa. I’m only laughing because I just ranted about MY creamer being stolen. What is WRONG with people?
    Angella´s last blog post ..You Have Got To Be Kidding Me

  5. kirida says:

    Couldn’t you put a label that says breast milk or something? Ugh, fridge thieves are the worst. Fortunately, there are crunchy granola types in my office so they wouldn’t be interested in my fat-free chemical laden but DELICIOUS creamer. But somehow whenever I bring Diet Coke, it ALWAYS gets stolen.
    kirida´s last blog post ..I need a prescription for Tiger Blood

  6. Julie K says:

    I would have been sorely tempted to leave a creamer out all weekend, pop it into the fridge on Monday, and let Mr. Asshat IT consultant enjoy a thick, curdled surprise. (Although I try to watch the vengence level when it comes to IT. They have *ways*.)
    Julie K´s last blog post ..Once in a Lifetime- Floatation Tank

  7. I still say you refill the bottle with milk, mouth wash and tabasco sauce…

  8. Good for you for for calling him on it!! What an immature little jerk-it clearly had your name on it!!!! You should let one bottle go bad and put it in there-set that em-effer learn the hard way
    Sensibly Sassy´s last blog post ..A First And Definitely Not A Last

  9. Hilary says:

    I love that you found the thief and made sure he knew you knew it was him. What is wrong with people? I have gotten used to not having to worry about this stuff, because my small team moved into our own office about 10 blocks away from our main building a couple of years ago. Since we are a small, close group, we respect each other’s stuff, and this hasn’t happened once. However, in the next few weeks another department will be joining us, and I know these games will start….UGH!
    Hilary´s last blog post ..Follow Friday Four Fill-in Fun Blog Hop 2

  10. Kirsten says:

    This reminds me of a story my husband told me of his friend having fuel stolen out of his RV. To fix the problem, he went out and bought “Unleaded fuel only” stickers and put them over the waste cleanout lines. The next morning they found the hose still sticking out of the waste tank, an enormous amount of puke all over the place, and a sick kid passed out on the lawn. They didn’t have an issue after that.

    I like Keith’s idea. Or if you want to be a little less gross, a “breast milk” label will help.