Happy Baconsgiving!

Posted By on November 26, 2008

Hello my loyal subjects!

It is Bacon here. I’m writing to all of you on the eve of this Thanksgiving holiday because our fair Kristabella is lying on the couch, wine glass in hand, enjoying her evening going into a holiday. You know, because it has been a long time since she had all the time in the world to DO NOTHING BUT SIT ON THE COUCH!

Ahem.

Also, Kristabella is complaining about breathing or something. I would know nothing about that because I am a folder. I am made of paper and a little bit if metal. The metal makes me spin. She’s got some issue where she’s having a hard time breathing, mostly because she’s lazy and doesn’t move a whole lot. But also maybe because she quite possibly might be sick. Or if she goes by Dr. Google’s diagnosis, SHE HAS CANCER AND IS DYING.

But who cares about her anyway? Bacon is here and is there anything better? The answer to that question is a resounding NO! Bacon would like to remind you that he does have some questions to answer and he will be doing that tomorrow, when his belly is fully of turkey and stuffing and wine and cat hair. (Bacon likes to just point that out so that maybe Kristabella will GET BACON OUT OF THE HOUSE TOMORROW.)

So Bacon would like to wish all of you a very happy Baconsgiving. Bacon doesn’t get a holiday, so this is it. And who wouldn’t want a holiday all about Bacon? Idiots, that’s who. And vegans.

Bacon (and Kristabella, I guess) are very thankful for all of you readers and friends. Bacon is also thankful our Kristabella has a job and is gainfully employed. And Bacon is also thankful for Jesus turning water into wine so that Kristabella would in turn love it and be tipsy enough to let Bacon take over this here blog tonight. Mwahahaha!

What are you all thankful for on this magical Baconsgiving holiday? (Besides Bacon, of course. That is a given.)

Bacon hopes you all have a wonderful holiday, or Thursday for those of you in Canada!

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.

Comments

18 Responses to “Happy Baconsgiving!”

  1. Angella says:

    Us Canadians are just advanced, is all. Thanksgiving was SO last month.

    ;)

    Have a good one!

    Angellas last blog post..Playing With Poladroid

  2. HouseofJules says:

    Bacon! How could you forget that you DID get your very own holiday, or cause to celebrate, when you were declared November’s Hump of the Month!

    Happy Baconsgiving to you & KJ!
    Jules
    House of Jules

    HouseofJuless last blog post..Just as it happened (if only in my head) when I was a kid

  3. Kathy says:

    I’m going to be eating Bacon’s cousin, Ham tomorrow.

    Take that, BACON!

    Kathys last blog post..Tired

  4. Happy Baconsgiving to you too!

    Jen on the Edges last blog post..The perfect gift for nerds, dweebs, and geeks. But not me.

  5. ali says:

    haha. i wrote on my site…i’m thankful that i’m not a turkey today. ;)

    alis last blog post..broken limbs and apple-themed decor

  6. [...] Thursday as Kristabella would say. That’s because we Canucks already did our Thanksgiving last month. For you [...]

  7. Rhi says:

    One thing I’ve always wondered: How does bacon feel about his step-sibling, Turkey Bacon?

    Rhis last blog post..A struggle

  8. Mahnee says:

    In no particular order, I’m thankful for Kristabella, Mike, Courtney, Kim, Tommy, Noah, Skyler…and the fact that when I cut myself with a knife this morning, I didn’t need stitches.

    Oh, and that “water into wine”?????? Cracked me up totally!!!!

  9. Bacon, what are your thoughts on Tofurky? Personally, I don’t hang out with those who consider that a holiday meal. I have standards, ya know.

    Camels & Chocolates last blog post..Hangin’ Ten

  10. Chibi Jeebs says:

    Is the bacon game for sale, because The Man-Thing would be all over that like, well, like him on bacon.

    I nominated you for the Uber Amazing Blog Award (http://onefineneuroticmess.blogspot.com/) because snark is good for my shriveled, black little soul.

    Happy Thanksgiving!

    Chibi Jeebss last blog post..Uber Amazing Blog Awards

  11. Darcey says:

    I am soooooooo thankful for Bacon and his willing sacrifice for the bacon-wrapped jalapeno poppers served as appetizers today.

  12. Giggle Pixie says:

    Happy Baconsgiving to you!!

    I’m thankful that at our Thanksgiving meal today we had several wonderful family members who shared great stories and great food.

    And there was ice cream. And wine. ‘Nuff said. Well, speaking for myself, that is. Bacon probably doesn’t care so much about ice cream or wine, but it makes some of us human folk very, very happy. :-)

    Giggle Pixies last blog post..The Winds of Fate

  13. I love you, Bacon. Thank you for caring about me during the holidays. You are so porky and delicious. You make me feel so happy and smoky.

    Jozet at Halushkis last blog post..A Parable and a Prayer

  14. Bacon, I’m sorry I ate about a pound of you on Thursday. Will you forgive me? I love you.

    The Over-Thinkers last blog post..Come Get Your Chocolate Rimmed Braless Gun Show!

  15. So, Bacon, how did you feel about the lead singer from the Foo Fighters calling your kind a delicious compliment to mac ‘n’ cheese on Top Chef?

    thecoconutdiariess last blog post..The Thanksgiving Story: The Departure

  16. Julie says:

    Sooooo thought of you Wed. night. Did you see Top Chef? Josea was wearing a T-Shirt that read, “Bacon is a vegetable.”

  17. LiteralDan says:

    Bacon, I cannot tell you how long I’ve waited for the chance to thank you for your many gifts of deliciousness!

    Now that I have you here, I have to pose something to you.
    True or False: Bacon Salt is your long-lost illegitimate brother.

    LiteralDans last blog post..Classic quotes, Vol. 9

  18. Lys says:

    Next year, I’m sooo having Bacon at the Thanksgiving table…

    Lyss last blog post..Cash Back: A Refresher Course For The Holidays..