Posted By Kristabella on November 26, 2008
Hello my loyal subjects!
It is Bacon here. I’m writing to all of you on the eve of this Thanksgiving holiday because our fair Kristabella is lying on the couch, wine glass in hand, enjoying her evening going into a holiday. You know, because it has been a long time since she had all the time in the world to DO NOTHING BUT SIT ON THE COUCH!
Also, Kristabella is complaining about breathing or something. I would know nothing about that because I am a folder. I am made of paper and a little bit if metal. The metal makes me spin. She’s got some issue where she’s having a hard time breathing, mostly because she’s lazy and doesn’t move a whole lot. But also maybe because she quite possibly might be sick. Or if she goes by Dr. Google’s diagnosis, SHE HAS CANCER AND IS DYING.
But who cares about her anyway? Bacon is here and is there anything better? The answer to that question is a resounding NO! Bacon would like to remind you that he does have some questions to answer and he will be doing that tomorrow, when his belly is fully of turkey and stuffing and wine and cat hair. (Bacon likes to just point that out so that maybe Kristabella will GET BACON OUT OF THE HOUSE TOMORROW.)
So Bacon would like to wish all of you a very happy Baconsgiving. Bacon doesn’t get a holiday, so this is it. And who wouldn’t want a holiday all about Bacon? Idiots, that’s who. And vegans.
Bacon (and Kristabella, I guess) are very thankful for all of you readers and friends. Bacon is also thankful our Kristabella has a job and is gainfully employed. And Bacon is also thankful for Jesus turning water into wine so that Kristabella would in turn love it and be tipsy enough to let Bacon take over this here blog tonight. Mwahahaha!
What are you all thankful for on this magical Baconsgiving holiday? (Besides Bacon, of course. That is a given.)
Bacon hopes you all have a wonderful holiday, or Thursday for those of you in Canada!