Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on March 16, 2011

Alternate Title: Al Gore Haaaaates Meeeeee!

I know what you’re all thinking – “Wow, she decides to start blogging regularly again and keeps it up for like a week. YAWN.”

But! I have an excuse! Of course I do! The cat puked on my laptop! (Actually, that really happened. And thankfully it did no damage. Stupid cat.)

Actually, my internet at home is not working. This has been happening, off and on, for a week or so. I have tried everything I could think of to fix this issue – resetting the router, using a cable to connect directly to the modem, praying to the Internet Gods – NOTHING WORKS! Actually, the wire did work for like a day and then just stopped working. But my sister is in the room with the modem and the wire, and I was nice enough to let her use the interweb before me. I’m a good landlord like that.

See, the problem is that my condo building switched to a local internet company last year. They supply the whole building and we get some sort of deal and all that jazz. (WHEN IT WORKS!) I haven’t really been impressed with their service at all. I had an issue late last year where my wireless router stopped working. I called them to get them to help me fix it and they couldn’t. And since they only send out technicians during the HOURS I AM WORKING, I fixed it myself by routing the non-working router through my one working router and VIOLA! Internet for all!

I had to call them again this week with this whole “non-working” issue. There seemed to be some issues building-wide last week (according to the flutter of activity on the condo message board). This was when I was attending a sales meeting all week and home just enough to sleep each night. So apparently a technician came out at 2 PM on a Thursday to get it fixed. Which works if you don’t have an office job or a job at all. I, on the other hand, was sitting in said sales meeting.

Fast forward to Monday and the damn thing just totally quits on me. I call this stupid company and I spend like 30 minutes on the phone with a guy who is all “I don’t see your address in our system. Are you sure you have service with us?” (UGH. Not a good start. At all.)

He is useless over the phone and puts in a ticket for someone to call me. Someone FINALLY calls – on Wednesday afternoon. ALMOST TWO DAYS LATER! And they inform me they can only come during the hours of 8-5, you know, the hours when I’m required to be WORKING IN AN OFFICE. THAT IS NOT IN MY HOME!

I made an appointment for Thursday morning. I hope I don’t end up having to be too late to the office. See, I could bring my laptop home with me to work from home, but that would require being able to CONNECT TO THE INTERNET! You know, the internet I PAY FOR!

And on top of it, I sent a note to our property management company to see how to cancel service with this company so I can go back to AT&T. And I have yet to hear back from them. Since they brokered the deal and I pay my internet through my assessments, I have to make sure they are aware. Why have they not answered my email??

I AM JUST SURROUNDED BY GOOD CUSTOMER SERVICE EVERYWHERE!

*head explodes*

:::::::

In other news, at Food Lush this week I wrote about the fantastic pie I made for Thanksgiving.

Also, March Madness starts Thursday! Don’t forget to fill out your brackets! And if you want to compete in a pool for FREE, go join our group from Draft Day Suit. No cost to enter, but Yahoo is giving away fabulous prizes!

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, All Things Blogging, Rants & Rants, Technology Fail, The Hizzouse | 3 Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on March 8, 2011

Well, apparently I can’t keep blogging like it is 2006 because I have run out of ideas about what to write about.

Actually, I’m sure I have plenty of things rolling around in my head, but I’m currently sitting here debating how I could chop off my legs because I’m pretty sure that would be less painful then my legs are currently. I’m currently afflicted with some TIGHTNESS in the calf muscles right below my knee. Which isn’t a problem when I’m sleeping or sitting, two of my favorite things. But sadly, I can’t do this all day as I am required to walk places – my car, the mailbox, the bathroom, the copier. And after sitting and letting these muscles get all comfy in that postition, when I go to stand up, I almost fall over. No really. I cannot straighten my leg. Have you ever tried standing and walking without being able to make your legs straight? IT IS NOT PLEASANT.

The thing that sucks is that walking makes it better. But again, I cannot spend the day walking. We have a sales conference this week at work which requires a lot of sitting. More sitting than normal. Sitting and paying attention and not thinking about your old, creaky legs.

Also, currently, I’m thinking about how full I am. We all went to dinner tonight for the sales conference, at a Mexican restaurant. The food was OK, but they made guacamole fresh in front of you tableside, and well, that is the best thing ever. So I’m pretty sure I ate my weight in chips and guac (and steak tacos) and added a sangria margarita the size of my head to the mix. Because I didn’t have to pay for it, so I might as well enjoy myself. Because I have learned NOTHING in these 3 months on WW. It’s a wonder I’m not losing any weight.

And other than that, I’m thinking that it might be a little too early to go to bed, but I want to anyway. Because as I mentioned above, sleeping doesn’t hurt my legs and I am tired. I blame that on the combination of the food/margarita coma.

Oh! I was actually going to write about what kind of music I like. Yes, I was going to write a whole post on that. Because Monday on Twitter, in a conversation about Casmir Pulaski Day, it came out that I did not realize there was a Sufjan Stevens song called Casmir Pulaski Day. And then it came out that I’m pretty sure I’ve never heard a Sufjan Stevens song. Which led to this:

Which apparently she did not know (SHE DOESN’T KNOW ME AT ALL!). Which is actually something I’ve dealt with often in my life. Apparently my 6-foot tall, pale-white ass doesn’t scream RAP and HIP HOP! Yet? That’s the majority of the stuff on my iPod. That and anything a 13 year old would listen to.

I don’t discover music. If I like a song, it’s generally because I heard it on the radio, on Sirius, on a commercial or on a TV show. Which means then it is probably already an old song to people like Ali.

So there you have it. That’s the kind of music I listen to. I like Katy Perry and Ke$ha and Pink. I’m not ashamed. I like music that is catchy and that I can sing along to.

Oh, that’s also something I do really well – I know the words to A LOT of songs! Just ask Rhi! She was shocked when I knew all the words to every song that came on her radio on my visit to Portland in the summer!

Is that weird? Did you think I was an indie rock lover? A classical music lover? Is there anything else I need to clear up? Do you also think I have three arms? Because I don’t.

Category: A Dash of the Crazy, All Things Blogging, BORE-ring, Land of Random, Mmmm Food | 17 Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on March 6, 2011

I’m not much for group fitness classes. I’m pretty uncoordinated and generally out of shape and it just makes me self-conscious. So I tend to do my own thing at the gym when I go – elliptical, treadmill, bike, etc.

But recently, my friends Rhi and Kerri have been RAVING about this Bar Method class. They go in Portland and they love, love, love it. Apparently it is all the rage, especially with celebrities, and it really tones your body and helps you lose inches. Since I don’t do a lot of weight training, I was intrigued.

The two biggest things I heard about Bar Method was 1) the shaking and 2) it kicks your ass, and kind of out of the blue. It says that anyone can do it, on their site, so I’m like “well, since I’ve been working out more and have more stamina, I should give it a try!”

Enter DJ. She talks about it on Twitter and while we were out to dinner the other night, I told her I wanted to go with her. (The other reason I don’t go to group classes? I don’t like to go alone. If I’m going to look like as ass, I want a familiar face there with me.)

So on Sunday morning, I went to my first Bar Method class. Come Monday morning, I might not be able to roll out of bed. It is intense, just like everyone said.

The weird thing is that it totally comes up on you. I mean, the point of the exercises are to be low-impact. So it isn’t like you’re running on an incline at 10 miles an hour. You’re standing and doing stretches and exercises, much like pilates. And for the first 20 reps, you’re all “I got this!” And then your arm falls off. And right after your arm falls off, you move from some sort of standing tricep exercise to PUSHUPS! And let me tell you, doing pushups with one arm is hard no matter what, but even worse when your remining arm has turned into Jello, a la the passengers in Airplane.

And then just when you think you’re going to be done, as you’ve been told you’re on your last set, you’re told that the last set is like 178 reps!

And on that 120th rep? All the muscles in your body start to shake! And they encourage it! And well, it’s fucking weird. And not really pleasant. And I’m pretty sure I know what it feels like to be a Biggest Loser contestant now.

After about 30 minutes of class, I started to feel like I was going to pass out. And barf. So I left the classroom and went out to get some air and some water. It was not my finest moment. But better that than passing out in front of a room full of very trim, very fit strangers. Better to leave the embarrassment to the two ladies working the front desk.

I started to feel better and finished the class. And it was a great workout. I think the problem was that I was trying to keep up with everyone, all the pros in the class, and well, it was my first time and I’m not in that great of shape and THERE IS NO SHAME IN RESTING! On top of that, I got so focused on doing the exercises right and making sure my posture was correct, that I’m pretty sure I forgot to breathe.

I mean, it’s easy to remember to breathe when you’re out of breath running on the treadmill. It’s a whole other thing when you’re doing strength training and low-impact exercises. My brain thinks “breathing isn’t really that necessary. You’ll be fine. Make sure we keep all appendages attached.” When in reality, it’s kind of damn important.

I plan to go back. Everyone at the studio was super nice and I can see that it is a fabulous workout and just the thing I need to tone and tighten and spice up my routine.

But check back with me on Monday to see if I have moved from the fetal position on my bed.

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, Working On My Fitness | 7 Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on March 3, 2011

I think I have documented here how bad the coffee is at my workplace. I am convinced that it is the reason I started to have acid reflux back a few years ago. It’s really the only change in my life in that time that could cause it.

But I do love coffee. I am addicted to it. I NEED to have it in the mornings. I’m convinced that if I don’t drink it, I’m more tired throughout the day. And in the winter, it is non-negotiable since it is so cold in this office, I NEED the coffee to warm up me bones.

So the only options are really to buy coffee every day or drink the crappy coffee here in the office.

Back before the holidays, one of my lovely co-workers brought in some flavored creamer, this kind Peppermint Mocha. And I was hooked. I even wrote about my love of this creamer over at Food Lush because now that it is almost spring, I’m having a hard time finding this particular flavor.

Since I started Weight Watchers, I’ve been bringing in a measuring spoon for my creamer. Two tablespoons is two points and I can afford that each day. But no more than that. And let’s be honest, my lack of being able to eyeball measurements is how I got into this fat mess in the first place.

All these words are to say, I know how long my creamer should last. I mean, a serving is a tablespoon and the small bottle is like 32 tablespoons. If only I am using this bottle, the bottle should last three weeks.

NOT SO MUCH.

I brought in a small bottle of creamer on a Friday a few weeks ago and by Wednesday, I noticed it was more than half empty. This bottle is in the community fridge, but clearly marked with MY name. And I’m the only Kristin here.

There is another girl here who also brings creamer and I asked her if she noticed her stash was a little lighter than normal. She thought so, but couldn’t be sure. So I was all “I MEASURE it out each day, so I know! SOMEONE IS STEALING MY CREAMER!”

The next day, I got up to go grab a paper towel from the kitchen. At this time, I see one of the consultants in the IT department USING the creamer. (My co-worker and I have the same flavor, so I don’t know whose it was.) He poured it in his tea (BARF!) and then put it back in the fridge.

And then I proceeded to tell everyone in the office that this asshat was the thief!

I figured since he SAW me when he was stealing the creamer, this would stop. I would be wrong. Because the next morning, when I went to get coffee, I pulled out my bottle of creamer and there was nothing but an EMPTY bottle with my name on it in the fridge! EMPTY! He used up the rest and put an empty bottle in the fridge! MOTHER FUCKER!

This had to stop. The culprit sits near me. I came back from the kitchen all ragey, and I turned to my cubemate and we had the following conversation all while the THIEF was standing 2 feet from me:

ME: So, co-worker, did you hear about how someone is stealing my coffee creamer?

CW: No! That totally sucks!

ME: Yeah, the interesting thing, though, is I KNOW who it is!

(turns to glare at the THIEF who looks right at me, like he’s going to crap his pants!)

CW: You do???

Since then, I have had to resort to bringing my creamer in in a sports bottle and hiding it in the fridge. But I think it has solved the problem. Good thing he’s a consultant and isn’t going to be here much longer.

I still take every opportunity to loudly chide him whenever possible, though. Oh, and I’ve told everyone in the office he’s the THIEF! He’ll be so thankful when this consulting gig is up! HA!

 

Category: A Dash of the Crazy, A Day in the Life of Me, All Things Blogging, Land of Random, Rants & Rants, Worky Work | 11 Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on March 1, 2011

*blows dust off this website*

Well, that was an unplanned break. And I know I shouldn’t talk about the break and I should get back into the whole blogging thing again, but DAMN! That was a long break and much longer than I expected.

Nothing really exciting has even really happened. I have started to go back to the gym. I even re-started Couch to 5k for the millionth time. And because that gets me home later in the day, I have enough energy to barely make dinner and then watch something on the boob tube.

That’s really only part of the reason. The other big part was that I debated just quitting altogether – no big fanfare, no big goodbye, just slowly walking away, leaving a post up with ‘junk punch’ in the title, for all of eternity. Sums it up pretty well.

See, I’ve been tired of the internet lately. I’ve let drama and other things bother me to the point where I forgot that the reason I started this website all those years ago was because I wanted to write. Somehow in all the twittering and Facebooking, I lost that. I lost that it was about writing. I let things irritate me and I would get caught up in it all and I would forget “hey, this was always supposed to be about writing. Nothing more, nothing less.”

It took a chat with one of my favoritest people in the world to remember this. She reminded me that it is about writing and it was time to Blog Like it’s 2004! (Or 2006, since that’s when I started.)

So that’s what I’m going to do. Because I miss writing. I miss posting. I miss all of you, you especially! Yes, you, right there at the computer!

There you have it. Look for more posts from me. Including my tale of the Office Coffee Creamer Thief! Yet another person I want to junk punch.

I’m back, bitches!

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, All Things Blogging, Land of Random, Writing | 24 Comments »
Tags: