Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on March 1, 2012

Did you guys know I go to the gym regularly now? Did you also know I’m running? Well, I should say “running”. I am currently almost at the end of Week 5 in the Couch to 5k program. Only three weeks left! And then I’ll be able to run 30 minutes straight without stopping!

I’m skeptical, but we’ll see.

I have an 8k, which is almost 5 miles, on Sunday, March 25. I’m hoping to do as well as I did the last time I ran it in 2007. That time I walked through the water station and for another block or so. That was it. I ran the whole rest of the race.

This year a bunch of other Chicago bloggers are running it too. And I convinced them all to buy this shirt so we can all run together:

I’m looking forward to it!

I’m still running indoors on the treadmill at this point. This is good for me to force me into a steady pace and not run too fast. The problem is the treadmill is SO BORING.

I’ve tried music. I’ve tried every type of music. I’ve tried pop, hip hop, dance, 80s, you name it. But I have adult onset ADD. (Thanks Twitter!) I can listen to something for about 30 seconds before I’m bored and all I’m focusing on is the clock and “how do I still have four whole minutes of running? I HAVE BEEN RUNNING FOREVER!”

TV would be a good solution, but I can’t do Netflix and the running app at the same time. And live TV has commercials. And you know what, when you know a commercial is 30 seconds long, that doesn’t help the whole “make the clock move faster” thing any better.

This week I tried a new approach – podcasts. I downloaded one of the Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me podcasts from NPR. That seemed to help. (It also helped that as I was listening to it, Gossip Girl was on the TV and Blair and Dan KISSED! SQUEEEEEEE!)

But I’m looking for more suggestions for podcasts. There are so many out there and I don’t know where to start. I know Ricky Gervais has some, and I’ll definitely be checking those out. But what other entertaining podcasts are out there? And by entertaining, I mean DISTRACTING. FROM THE RUNNING.

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, All Things Blogging, Chi-town, Healthy Living, Run Forrest, Up In The Gym, Working On My Fitness | 18 Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on February 29, 2012

Guess what? Tonight was workout #20 and I got it in just under the wire! I p0wned my goal and I have a lovely Fitbit on the way to show for it. (I cheated and ordered it on Monday because I wanted to have it by this weekend so I could play with it.) (And even after ordering it, I still worked out three times this week so far. Yay me!)

I’m so happy I made this goal. I think I’ve finally gotten into the habit of going to the gym. And not hating it. AND! It’s starting to finally show on the scale, which is nice. Nothing major, but I actually lost weight this week, as opposed to staying the same or gaining, like I have been the last month or so.

And! I took measurements and I’m down at least an inch in all the areas. My pants are fitting better and I’m feeling less and less like a stuffed sausage these days. So YAY!

I decided that the prize when I complete my next goal is going to be someone to come in and clean my house. Because that’s a TREAT! And I’ll have to clean it before they come, which will also be a treat for my poor house that is filthy. (I can keep up on dishes, laundry and keeping the cats alive. I seem to draw the line at vacuuming.)

Other than that, the reason I haven’t posted here lately is partly because it would be all about my working out, which who cares?, and also because I have no time. Working out takes up a lot of time, yo. Who knew? It explains why I could easily decide not to go to the gym in the past. Also? My couch is still comfy.

Back this time last year when I was working out rather regularly, or more than no times a week, it was when I had my old job. That old job was a 30 minute commute. And I had to drive past the gym on the way home. It was a win-win.

Now I take the bus and the train. I don’t mind not sitting in traffic, but it also takes me an hour-plus to get to and from work. So by the time I get home in the evenings, it’s close to 7. I come home, drop off my work bag, feed the cats, change and then leave for the gym.

By the time I get to the gym, do my workout and stretch and all that good stuff, I’m not usually home until after 8. And then I have to get dinner ready, get my breathing back to normal, etc. And lately that means finishing dinner at 9 PM. Which isn’t the best thing, especially if I’m super tired and would like to get to bed before 11 PM. Which doesn’t happen anymore.

So, in the hour or so I have to myself in the evening, I’m watching TV or doing dishes or just other random things. And these things do not include being on the computer. I just can’t. It feels like my only time during the day that I have to unwind and just veg out.

I would like to post more. I’m thinking of typing up notes for a post on my phone, or using my lunch break to write something. Then all I have to do when I get home is post it. That still leaves plenty of TV watching and couch sitting for the evenings then.

But we’ll see how that goes. TV always wins. Which isn’t surprising since the title of this post comes from a kid’s cartoon.

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, Healthy Living, Up In The Gym, Working On My Fitness | 9 Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on February 9, 2012

So, I want to write something new and I just have no ideas. My life is so extremely boring that I’m almost hoping for some weirdoes on the train to give me some blog fodder. Almost.

I’m still going to the gym. Tonight was day 10 out of 20. I’m halfway there. I have to say that people telling me how awesome the Fitbit is is like 100 percent of the reason I end up going most days. I do not want to fail this goal.

I need to figure out something to make as a goal once February is over.

I’m on Week 3 of the Couch to 5k. Last night I ran three minutes in a row. Without stopping. And did it twice in the workout! And I didn’t die! I still don’t foresee being able to run an hour straight for an 8k, but we will see. I have until the end of March for the race.

I’m eating healthy and tracking my WW points too. Even if I overindulge on beer or pizza, I write it all down. I’m taking this losing weight business seriously this time. Too bad the scale is not really cooperating. But I’m focusing on the fact that my clothes are considerably looser and I don’t look like a stuffed sausage all the time. So there’s that.

I know the scale will eventually show off all my hard work. But, it’s still frustrating to be so good and then nothing. I’m really trying not to get discouraged. I am very thankful for my Fitbit goal, because otherwise I might give up and say fuck the gym.

You know what else is good for the gym? Netflix instant streaming. Particularly, Friday Night Lights. If you have seen this show and have seen the very first episode, you can imagine how good of a show it is to work out to! I mean, most episodes end with football games that are very intense! Just what I need to get through the last 10 minutes of a workout. It’s perfect!

If only I could get it to work with the Couch to 5k app and maybe I could watch and run. Three minutes of running straight would probably be a bit easier.

I got a parking ticket on Super Bowl Sunday. I was over at this lovely lady’s house and knew my meter expired at 7:30. But I just forgot to get out there in time to add more money. I got a ticket three minutes after the meter expired. I’m contesting it because I’ve been told there is some five-minute grace period on meters. We shall see.

When I turned 21, my friends Sharma and Amber got me a keychain bottle opened (that I still carry with me every day) and a giant Budweiser bottle bank. Thirteen years later, the bank was about 3/4 full and I decided to go to the bank and cash it in this past weekend.

The bag was HEAVY. I didn’t know how much was in there, but judging by how heavy it was and my tendency to exaggerate, I was guessing a million dollars!

Turns out it was $238, which is still a shit-ton of change. Cha-ching indeed!

Tomorrow I’ll write about the one time I found a pirate’s chest full of gold! No, not really. But man that would be nice for my bank account and for a blog story.

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, All Things Blogging, Land of Random, Run Forrest, Working On My Fitness | 6 Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on February 8, 2012

It is no secret on this blog that the dentist and I, we have a history. A long, sordid history. I’m convinced I murdered a dentist in a previous life and I’m paying for it in this life. I’ve finally accepted this and am now never fazed by anything I hear my dentist tell me I need done.*

Back before I had my tooth pulled back in November, a molar on the other side of my mouth chipped. I didn’t even cry. I just looked at it, realized I was going to have another crown and made a note to quadruple the amount of money I put in my flexible spending account in 2012.

The giant gaping hole in my mouth is healing well. It takes up to six months before we can do the next steps, which is to take molds for the implant. In the meantime, I chew on only one side of my mouth and continue to go out in public every day with a gaping space in my mouth. I’m Cletus, the slack jawed yokel.

So let’s fast forward to last week at my regular check-up at the dentist. She tells me what I know, that I need a crown and all that. So I make the appointment for this evening. This is old hat for me. A shot of novacaine and some drilling? NOTHING! Not when you’ve previously had someone HAMMERING YOUR JAW BONE.

Then as I’m paying and getting ready to head home, they remind me that I shouldn’t eat anything on that side of my mouth until I get the permanent crown on. Which is in two weeks.

screeeeeeeecccchhhhh

Back up. What? The side of my mouth I’ve been chewing on exclusively since November is now off limits? And the side of my mouth that I CAN chew on is missing one of the important molar teeth? So you’re saying I basically should consist on smoothies for two weeks? Well, OK. What a weight loss plan!

Also a good weight loss plan? Going to the dentist and getting half your face numb! Just try and eat or drink anything!

Sadly there is no video. Only because I was too busy cleaning up Kool-Aid and soup from my face and floor.

*I would like to point out that I currently LOVE, LOVE, LOVE my dentist. I have no complaints at all. The fact that I do not get freaked out and cry about having to have work done is a testament to how much I love her and trust her.

Category: A Dash of the Crazy, A Day in the Life of Me, All A-Twitter, Dental DAMN, Spinsterville Here I Come | 5 Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on February 4, 2012

Today I have a guest post from Peter. He is funny and creative because he had the best response to my hopeless place post with “studio audience for a taping of Whitney.” So please read this and be nice.

:::::

Two men in their mid twenties are sitting on the oldest couch in the history of the world. Scientists might hypothesize that it is basically held together by pizza stains and shame.

And they’re responsible for most of the supply of both.

They’ve lived together since their freshman year of college. They like to say that the university housing department brought them together, but being kindred spirits kept them together.

You know, when they had the energy to explain the whole story.

They’re watching one of their favourite things in the world to watch:

A marathon.

Not the kind where people run a long distance, despite the fact that no one seems to be chasing them.

No, these are the marathons that involve a butt-numbing number of episodes of the same television program.

This particular program takes place in Alaska. It involves Alaskans either driving, fishing, panning for gold or making cakes. Their not entirely sure.

They could easily look at the laptop sitting on the coffee table in front of them. It always has a tab open to a TV guide. And one to Foxy Bingo.

The brown haired fellow turns to his blonde hetero life partner.

“I worry about you, my friend. You spend too much time on this couch. You’re not getting any younger. There’s a whole world out there. With women… Don’t you want to find someone nice? To get married some day? To have children? You’d make an amazing father. Don’t you want a soul mate? Someone who will have your back when the proverbial chips are all the way down? You won’t find that on this couch, dear sir. I want these things for you. As your friend, it’d thrill me to no end for you to meet someone. Someone special. I know your mother would be so happy. She’s getting older too. Every hour you spend on this couch, is an hour you keep the dream of grandchildren away from her. I don’t know if I could be so selfish. I don’t think you want to be either. I want you to look inside. Deep inside. Where the feelings live. You want these things. You want them now. You don’t want to wait another day. I want you to rise up! Get off of this couch! And get out there! Do it!”

“I’m not going to the fridge to get you a beer.”

“Fiiiiiiiine. I’ll go myself. Jerk.”

Category: General | 1 Comment »
Tags: