S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!

Posted By on April 26, 2012

On Saturday, after I finished my race, I came home, ate the entire contents of my fridge, showered and headed downtown to meet my mom, my sister, my SIL, my cousin and my 2 aunts. As part of our Xmas present, we all got to go see Jersey Boys together. It was Ladies Day Out.

I’ve seen Jersey Boys before, but this was a new cast. I didn’t like this cast as much as our first cast, but the show is amazing. If you’ve never seen it, go. The music is awesome, and it is such an interesting story about the Four Seasons.

After the show, we all went to Wildfire for dinner. After dinner we walked down the street to have a drink. I stayed the latest with my SIL, who was waiting for her 8:30 train. After we finished our drinks, we took a cab over to Union Station. We were way early for her train, so I suggested we sit in the train station bar and have another drink.

I found a seat at the bar while she went to check to see if Jamba Juice was open. It wasn’t. So I drank by myself and she kept me company until her train was getting ready to leave.

While we were sitting there, an old man with half his teeth missing decided to listen in on all our conversations and then drunkenly give us advice about us and women in general. None of it made sense. I’m pretty sure the dude had been sitting at that bar since it opened. That was a lot of drunkity speak for 8 PM on a Saturday.

Kim left to catch her train and I sat and finished my beer. Cletus the slackjawed yokel had enough of me ignoring him, and he left. And so a dude with camouflage bags took his seat. I asked him where he was coming back from (Afghanistan), how long he had been deployed (three years!) and then thanked him for his service and bought him a beer.

I don’t know what his deal was, but he was also completely shitfaced. And he basically propositioned me to have sex in the train station bathroom. I don’t know if I love America that much, sir.

Thankfully, the bar was closing and I could try and ditch him. But I also had a beer to finish and didn’t want to waste it. So I did what every other SANE person does in a train station at 8:30 on a Saturday night, I chatted up a strange man eating a hamburger to distract the drunk soldier.

I told him the deal with drunk Army man and that if he could pretend like we knew each other until drunk Army guy left, it would be much appreciated it. He was happy to oblige. And we had a very nice conversation while he finished his dinner and waited for his train back to upstate New York. And then before he left for his train, we became friends on Facebook. Because that’s totally what you do in that situation, right?

And then I got in a cab, chatted up my cab driver and went home and passed out on the couch.

My life: The stuff reality television is made of.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.

Comments

4 Responses to “S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y NIGHT!”

  1. Andrea says:

    I can’t decide which part of this post I like the most. Cletus the slackjawed yokel or getting propositioned to have sex in a train station bathroom.
    Andrea´s last blog post ..Flowers

  2. Miranda says:

    First off I would like to say fantastic blog! I had a quick question in which I’d like to ask if you do not mind. I was curious to find out how you center yourself and clear your head prior to writing. I’ve had trouble clearing my mind in getting my thoughts out. I do enjoy writing however it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are usually wasted simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any recommendations or tips? Kudos!
    Miranda´s last blog post ..does hypnosis work weight loss

  3. Angella says:

    You have the best stories. Is the hamburger dude cute? ;)
    Angella´s last blog post ..Good Things

  4. MauraLessa says:

    “I don’t know if I love America that much, sir.”

    Hilarious.