Further Proof I’m Three Years Old

Posted By on January 25, 2009

I spent most of this weekend over at my brother’s house. My brother wanted to take my sister-in-law out for her birthday and needed someone to watch the two yahoos, also known as my niece and nephew. We had fun together and they got in some good Auntie time and we ate a lot of cookies. Which is typical for anytime I babysit.

I watched them on Saturday afternoon while their mom and dad went to lunch and a movie. That way my brother and SIL could still visit with me in the evening. Because I am just that awesome and people clamor to hang out with me. Also, it may have been below zero that night and Kim didn’t really want to go out in the cold.

So while they were out, we played in their indoor bouncy thing and did experiments with static electricity.


And we played some Princess Hopscotch.


I stayed overnight since I live like 60 miles away and also because I sleep better in the room they have in the basement than I do anywhere. It is so dark and cool down there, it is ideal sleeping conditions. The only problem is that the room is under the kitchen. So you can’t sleep past 8 AM really, since you’ll hear the pitter patter, or stomping, of little feet in the morning once the monsters wake up.

To prove how well I sleep, I had a dream Saturday night that somehow woke me up. I don’t remember if it was a nightmare or what it was about. All I know is that I rolled over and opened my eyes and had no fucking clue where I was. And because it is the basement and so dark, opening my eyes was no different than having my eyes closed. I started to panic a little because at that moment, I had absolutely no clue where I was. I knew I wasn’t at my house and that was scary. On top of it, I reached to the side and felt the slats of the daybed next to me. And my only thought was “am I in a crib??”

Thankfully I finally remembered and then fell back soundly asleep.


When I finally woke up, Noah, Skyler and my brother were watching Scooby Doo. It was some episode with Fred’s dad and some pirates. Near the end of the episode, my brother asked out loud why Shaggy was wearing a belt over his shirt. Skyler (age 3) and I (age 31) answered at the EXACT same time and said the exact same thing “because he’s a pirate, duh.”

I’m sure you had to be there, but it was hilarious. I’m not sure if that makes her a genius because she thinks like a 31 year old, or if I should really worry about the brain cells I’ve killed with alcohol. Clearly, though, we share a brain.


The other reason I stayed overnight was because Noah was having his Pinewood Derby race with his Cub Scout Pack. And I wanted to see him race his car. He and his dad worked really hard on it. My brother is an engineer, and he let Noah do a lot of the work, but he was panicked that Noah would come in last.


He didn’t though! He actually won his little den of 11 boys! I played the part of the proud Auntie and took about 100 photos.


And he got a trophy! Then he competed with nine other boys, ranging from six to 10, in the Leader of the Pack race. He finished seventh and then got really upset about it and cried. Which is probably what I would have done too. I mean, the lure of a plastic trophy the size of your sister is very enticing.


Finally, I signed up to be on a pub trivia team. I’m competing for the first time on Monday night. I’m really looking forward to it because how can you beat booze, celebrity trivia and booze all in one place?

I’m hoping to have many stories to share. Like the last time I played pub trivia and drunkenly harassed a table full of four of Chicago’s finest.

So did you all have a nice weekend?

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


22 Responses to “Further Proof I’m Three Years Old”

  1. Haha, love the static shot! I have the same one nearly from my sister when she was 3 and we were jumping on the trampoline!

    Also, I think I’ve established that I think like a three year old, and I’m damn proud of it! (Only at three, I didn’t know the word “damn.”)

    Also also, Skyler is a precious name! And a precious little girl, too!

    Camels & Chocolates last blog post..Now I See Why They Call it That

  2. witchypoo says:

    It seems like I’m wearing pajamas for most of my social life, so good for you and pub trivia. I miss having little kids to play with. In no time at all, you’ll be bringing them to pub trivia, for a well-rounded education.

    witchypoos last blog post..Sleepless

  3. Oooh, we just signed up for pub trivia too! It doesn’t start till next week though- you can fill me in on whether or not it’s fun!

    nancypearlwannabes last blog post..Testing… Testing…

  4. Sheri says:

    Sleeping in till 8??? I am so jealous. Your niece and nephew are so cute. I would so rock at trivia. I’m full of useless knowledge. Hope you win.

    Sheris last blog post..Dear Mr. President

  5. pseudostoops says:

    Waitwaitwait…You have a pub trivia TEAM? As in, in a LEAGUE? As opposed to just showing up on random nights? This is exactly what I’ve been looking for! Must know more details!

    pseudostoopss last blog post..If you say it enough, any word starts to sound ridiculous.

  6. Jenn says:

    Man. You were so close. Wish I knew you were in town. Jerry and I had our tasting and picked our wedding menu. We went to dinner with some friends Sunday night. All in all, we ate a lot over the weekend!

  7. Candy says:

    Was it the absence of a diaper that clued you in as to where you were? I am so jealous of pub trivia. I would totally do that if I knew it existed.

    Candys last blog post..In Which I Cut Someone with my Rapier Sharp Wit

  8. ali says:

    i love that you are the best aunt. seriously. i hope your brother appreciates your awesomeness 😉

  9. Giggle Pixie says:

    Awesome for Noah, and awesome post! Hey, it’s good to be 3!!! LOL

    Giggle Pixies last blog post..Beavers and Ducks, Chickens and Minivans, Oh My!

  10. Darcey says:

    I would so have traded my Saturday night (sitting at home on the couch with my evil homemade oreos) for yours.

    Then again, I spent all Sunday in bed, watching TV, drinking SF Kool-Aid and eating oreos… so who’s 3 now? 😉

  11. Angella says:

    Our guest room is under the kitchen/living room and I feel sorry for people when they come to stay. My kids are LOUD.

  12. TUWABVB says:

    I cannot believe how cute your nephew looks with his trophy – so proud! And honestly, I think the ONLY trivia that I might even have a chance of being good at is celebrity trivia. That sounds like a blast! But then again, it would likely reveal my OCD when it comes to checking celebrity gossip websites.

    TUWABVBs last blog post..Things That Made Me Laugh This Week

  13. metalia says:

    I had a lovely weekend! Heather B. came to visit. But now I’m sitting here on jury duty and wanting to punch someone in the face. So, there’s that.

    metalias last blog post..The Rural Juror

  14. Melissa says:

    Love that picture of your niece..lol! I can only imagine waking up and thinking you were in a crib…awkward…

    Melissas last blog post..When The Shark Bites….

  15. gorillabuns says:

    You know, my kids would love to adopt you as their aunt. They are bad kids to babysit either.

  16. Ree says:

    Awwww. I know you had a great time. But the “am I in a crib” line made me snort.

    Rees last blog post..Mute Monday – B

  17. You really are the best aunt ever. If those kids had two dozen aunts, you’d be their favorite.

    Jen on the Edges last blog post..Hip hip hooray!

  18. jen says:

    I haven’t been to our PubQuiz since the beginning of the year and I’m pleased to say that the team’s come in 4th for the last 4 weeks. I know this has nothing to do with me, but has to do with the fact that one of the teams is made up of the day waitstaff and they have access to the answers.

    Still, it feels nice.

  19. Kristie says:

    My little brothers used to do the Pinewood derby races, too!

    Kristies last blog post..Wouldn’t you know it

  20. gwen says:

    I really liked the playpen picture with the fly away hair. I got a big chuckle over that one… Thanks

    gwens last blog post..The 109 Day Link Building Explosion – Day 26

  21. I guess your nephew is too young to start tell the other contestants in the Leader of the Pack race to shut their fucking meat faces, so crying is an appropriate response.

    thecoconutdiariess last blog post..To All The Roommates I’ve Loved Before 1-7

  22. Matt says:

    I think that the best I ever did in the Pinewood Derby was third place. The first year we did it, my stepfather got really into it with me – we spent a lot of time creating the perfect car.

    I think he got disillusioned when he saw how crappy the track was and that winning (in my pack at least) was mostly about luck.

    Matts last blog post..Moving Day