When Writer’s Block Attacks

Posted By on January 5, 2009

I’m feeling out of sorts lately. I’m very blah and I feel like life is moving around me and I’m always lagging behind. It’s like something isn’t clicking. I don’t know what the deal is. I know spending the entire day sleeping on Sunday afternoon did not help matters. As a freaky creature of habit, when I have days like that, it will mess up my whole week.

Normally when I’m in these moods, I don’t feel like writing. But I know that writing helps me push through. Even if what I write is complete crap. Which this is. But what to write about?

  • I could tell you about my trip to the dentist today. But it was UNEVENTFUL. In the fact that I DID NOT CRY! Except tears of joy for having a dentist who knows what the hell she’s doing! Whoopee!
  • I could tell you about my friend Julie, who just had her first baby! A little baby girl named Noe. (And I’m guessing it is No-ee, like Noe Valley in San Francisco, where Julie once called home. HOW FREAKING CUTE IS THAT?) I cannot wait to meet her!

So yeah, all good things to share. But not really whole-post-worthy. But then I logged into my WordPress account and took a gander at my stats for the past few days. I don’t do it to be all “how many page views did I get today?” (although I do check it out). I look more to see where people are visiting from to make sure I’m not being linked somewhere I don’t want to be. Like when the Chicago Nesties post links to your blog on their private message board that they won’t let you on! Bygones.

But today I laughed at a few of the search terms from the past few days and thought I’d share them with you.

Funny bandaids 

Band-aids aren’t funny. Unless they are Bacon band-aids. In which case they are humorous items to cover up OPEN WOUNDS. Not funny at all.

Is Anderson Cooper Jewish?

I don’t know. I bet Metalia knows. And also, who cares? He’s gay. And pretty.

Smells that paralyze

Wow. I don’t know. I just…WHY? Why are you asking this? Are you some date raper? Or a serial killer? Or does your significant other have really bad gas? And how did you end up here?

Why you shouldn’t go drinking with a dre

Well, I don’t know why you shouldn’t. I mean, if you went out drinking with a Dre, wouldn’t a Snoop shortly follow? Along with some gin and juice and endo? I got my mind on my money and my money on my mind.

I should really leave these kinds of posts to Bacon. But he’s been paralyzed.  By the smell of bacon frying. He calls it MURDER or some nonsense.

I’d like to promise something better written tomorrow, but then I would be lying.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


17 Responses to “When Writer’s Block Attacks”

  1. Dingo says:

    Could the gin, juice, and endo be responsible for this malaise? Hmmmm?

    I know what you mean though. I sleep my weekend away but start the week feeling like crap because I’ve not only slept my weekend away but because my body is also trying to tell me something. I don’t know whether it’s trying to tell me to go back to bed or to get my lazy ass moving.

    Dingos last blog post..Rice Wine?  Really?

  2. Cass says:

    Oh hun, bandaids are funny! And entertaining too. I picked up some purple cats and Little Miss Sunshine ones as an Xmas present from the boyfriend because he knows how awesome I think they are. 🙂

    And BTW – any trip to the dentist that doesn’t have you stressed out or upset after is a good one. I appreciate my dentist every day because he’s so good about that. Heck, if you were in the Seattle area I’d send you to him!

  3. Ever since I wrote my post about Ali and how the beluga flashed me his willy, I’ve been getting about a hundred hits every couple days from people who have searched some variation of “animal porn.” Do I want these type of people on my site??? Um, maybe…could make things a lot more interesting around here…

    Noe is freakin’ adorable. Great name.

    Camels & Chocolates last blog post..Why Do Internet Scammers Always Hail From Nigeria?

  4. LiteralDan says:

    You know what’s even better than bacon-shaped bandaids? Bandages made out of bacon.

    I believe I have a trend to go start.

    LiteralDans last blog post..Let’s call this an adverb-filled do-over

  5. Lys says:

    Those search terms – too much.

    Poor Bacon – he’s in shock. He’ll come to grips, in time. Here’s hoping that the fog of writer’s block is lifted.

    Lyss last blog post..Dream Item: La Cornue CornuFé Stove

  6. ali says:

    i know what you need to get out of your funk…a weekend in toronto!

    alis last blog post..some holiday tips from Ali

  7. Smells that paralyze is a good one. I’ve been getting a number of hits for adult diapers, which is completely puzzling to me.

    nancypearlwannabes last blog post..Testing… Testing…

  8. Noelle says:

    I never look at my stats anymore. I should get on that. Also, maybe I should think about posting the thing I wrote this morning. I’ll get on that, too.

    Noelles last blog post..Curious cases

  9. Melissa says:

    I’m feeling the same way right now. I have a post in my head to write, I just have to have time to sit down and write it…just call me lazy…but don’t call me late for some of that yummy bacon!

    Melissas last blog post..Who Knew…

  10. Lori says:

    I’m so excited for JRC and Joe! I have to try to figure out how I can go see them sometime this year.

    I hope you feel better soon. And if you ask me, goign drinking with a dre might just be the cure!

    Loris last blog post..Congrats!

  11. Thank god for an uneventful trip to the dentist? Isn’t it lovely? 🙂

    La Petite Chics last blog post..Ringing in 2009

  12. Angella says:

    MY all-time favorite search that came to my site was, “Hot Boobs Spraying Milk”

    I don’t even want to KNOW who likes that sort of thing.

    (And no, I have not posted any photos of such an event)

    Angellas last blog post..On Faith

  13. Noe is an interesting name but I fear she is in for a lifetime of mispronunciations. “Is there a NO here. No?”

    Wow, I just checked my stats and saw searches for “Sex with my dad’s friend” and “My prosthetic leg”. I’m not sure if it says something about the searchers. Or about me…

    thecoconutdiariess last blog post..The Un-Resolutions

  14. Giggle Pixie says:

    This was hysterical! And btw, I’d drink with a Dre, long as he was buying!! ha!

    Giggle Pixies last blog post..Welcome to My Life

  15. regan says:

    Anderson Cooper is so very pretty. Part of me wishes he weren’t gay but then part of me knows he wouldn’t be so pretty if he were straight.

    regans last blog post..when he wore the sequined tux jacket, I died of happiness

  16. metalia says:

    Shockingly, I do not know if he’s Jewish. Shit. Do I have to turn in my badge now?

    metalias last blog post..A poem about Rock of Love. No, really.

  17. Darcey says:

    I could so go for some bacon right now. A BLT sounds divine. Like ooh-baby, yummy.

    I think I need a moment to myself.