Eve of The Eve Bullets

Posted By on December 22, 2008

  • On my way home from work tonight, I had to stop at the grocery store to get the ingredients for my award-winning corn for Christmas. I also had to get some rock salt. I’m going to try and melt all the snow around my car so that it will become unstuck.
  • Did I mention that my car is stuck AGAIN? Because it is. It is currently sitting crookedly on the street because last night at 9 PM was not the time to get it unstuck. I tried to shovel some of the snow away, but at 9 PM on a day with below zero temperatures, it was ICE. Not snow.
  • So I walked a half-mile home from the grocery store, in the cold, carrying a 25-pound bag of ice. It felt like some sort of competition from The Biggest Loser. Thankfully I won. Because I was the only one competing. And Jillian didn’t make me cry.
  • No, I haven’t put the salt down around my car yet. It is currently FOUR. Which means nothing melts in FOUR DEGREES.
  • This weather had knocked me out. I’m exhausted. Even Swedish Fish didn’t perk me up this afternoon.
  • I need to get rest, but as is typical at this time of year, I just have too much to do. I haven’t even opened the boxes from Amazon to make sure the right gifts were delivered.
  • And these are the things I think about when I’m trying to fall asleep.
  • I also wonder how cold it has to be for your toes to fall off.
  • On Saturday I was hanging out with my nephew Noah. We were having lunch at Subway and there was a ton of snow blowing, so much so that it looked like it was actually snowing. So I commented out loud “how funny, it totally looks like it is snowing.” And then my six-year old nephew said “that’s because it is, DOOFUS.”
  • Apparently I have passed snark on to a whole other generation.


Finally, are you looking for a last-minute holiday gift? Are you a selfish whore and tired of shopping for everyone else? Looking for a good book to read? Then be sure to pick up your copy of What Would Emma Do? by Eileen Cook. It is in stores on now. You can buy it here.


Don’t buy it because I say so. I mean, YES! But it because I said so! Eileen has bills to pay!

But also, buy it because Eileen is awesome and nice and I totally know her. I met her in person and she even sometimes emails me. And she, like, WRITES BOOKS! FOR A LIVING!

Buy it because you know you love young adult books. I mean, Twilight wouldn’t be nearly as popular if it was meant for adults.

Buy it because Emma kisses her best friend’s boyfriend. (GASP!) Oh, the teen angsty drama that can ensue. It is no different than adult angsty drama.

Buy it because you’re dying to know what Emma did.

And finally buy it because while I’m sure Eileen won’t confirm this, but she totally named this book after Bacon. All those times of wondering What Would Bacon Do seeped into her subconscious. Right Eileen?

Also while you’re buying her new book, be sure to check out her debut novel, Unpredictable.

And no she didn’t pay me to write this. If you write books and you’re nice to me, I will become your pimping machine. I am easily bought.  Because apparently I have found that you can never say “my friend, the author” too many times while amongst groups of people.

In the spirit of the season, I will be giving away two copies of the book to two random commenters on this post. Because to keep writing books, authors need to have people buy the books. So I’m doing my part to make sure MY FRIEND EILEEN, THE AUTHOR, gets to keep writing and doing what she loves.

So leave a comment on this post to be entered into the drawing. Bacon will pick a winner sometime after the holidays. And remember, Bacon and I can be bought with compliments. We never tire of you all telling us how pretty (me) and tasty (Bacon) we are.

Good luck!

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


40 Responses to “Eve of The Eve Bullets”

  1. Heather says:

    Hey! The good news is that the weather will get up to 25 degrees tomorrow – and maybe even 34 on wednesday; so worse comes to worse, you can just let the rain melt the snow around the car!

    … yeah that’s the bad news – more snow and rain. yuk.

    Hey, is your friend’s book available on kindle? I love me the kindle. (after searching, I have found it is not, and this makes me sad.)

  2. I guess I can no longer complain about my terrible, horrible, no-good weather OF EPIC PROPORTIONS, when it’s just stinkin’ 19 degrees her and like -19 where you are. Still, *whine, whine, whine*!

    Camels & Chocolates last blog post..The Littlest Angel

  3. seriously I better win, I have entered a bajillion giveaways and won nada!
    and did I mention how awesome your bangs look?

    Sensibly Sassys last blog post..Keeping My Feet And My Heart Warm

  4. Kathy says:

    I’ll trade you places, aight? You come here to La where we are… well, not quite as cold and without snow, and I’ll go and be in the snow. How’s that sound?

    I’d love to have that book. It sounds awesome. And i’m gonna read it because YOU SAID SO and YOU ROCK! And tell Bacon that I have not eaten any in a LONG time and I’m going to stick to lamb!

    (is that good sucking up?)

    Kathys last blog post..“Christmas” 2005

  5. Heather says:

    Also, I believe bacon would approve of reading your site this way:


    Heathers last blog post..maigrey: @declan http://tinyurl.com/9rclo3 as requested!

  6. -R- says:

    Parking on the street in the winter is horrible. Good luck with the salt!

    I want to win a book!

    -R-s last blog post..Babies Don’t Need Bicycles

  7. Issy says:

    Award winning corn? Recipe? I’m cooking dinner at my place this year and could use some actual recipes instead of my normal toss everything in the pot with salt and butter cooking skills.

  8. LarryLilly says:


    you live in Chicago.


    I havent a freaking clue since its OBVIOUS that you dont like cold weather.

    But since you do live there, here is a tip from someone that once lived in cold NY state climes.

    Save the salt for margaritas. And 25 pounds should last a lush like you until March eh?

    Salt doesnt work if the temps are going below 25 or so.

    You need calcium chloride, which has a much lower melting point. That is the white stuff that looks like deconstructed styrofoam.

    Yeah, watching some lady carrying home a 25 pound bag of salt is like watching an episode of biggest Loser.

    Where is the annoying music when you wait for the 10 minutes for an electronic scale to show the results. If they sold a scale like that in a store, they would be sent up for a fraud investigation. Electronic scales can read truck weights to 60,000 pounds in like 5 seconds, so to weight a 200 – 400 pound object, it should only take about this long. this.

    get it!

    LarryLillys last blog post..Great, now I am being told I am a woman

  9. tutugirl1345 says:

    I just assumed Bacon influenced all of us in our lives.

    Good luck with the ice. If you still can’t get the car stuck, it may be time to move down to the south.

    tutugirl1345s last blog post..Because I feel like stealing, bolding and italicizing

  10. Eileen says:

    Here I thought my moment with Bacon would go unnoticed.

    thanks for the pimp
    your friend, the author,

    Eileens last blog post..Taking a break

  11. YellowMutt says:

    book, book, book, book, book! I love books! I love teen angsty books, please send me the book, and maybe I’ll send you some bacon…bippity boppety bacon.

    Thanks for the great posts, love to read about your adventures, and for letting me know I’m not alone in my doofusness.

  12. Mahnee says:

    I just can’t comment today without losing what little Christmas spirit I had.

    Have I read Eileen’s book yet?

  13. Carrie says:

    My sister paid $50 to have a tow truck pull her car out of her parking space yesterday. Times like these make me happy that I live in the burbs with a heated garage!!!

  14. I like that you make award-winning corn. It makes me feel like I know someone super special. Also, the first time I read this I thought it was Christmas corn, but I realized it was corn FOR Christmas, which is still pretty good.

    Also also, it is 11 degrees here and I thought my hands would fall off yesterday, so four degrees is probably toe-losing territory.

    nancypearlwannabes last blog post..Testing… Testing…

  15. Jill says:

    I have found that you can never say “my friend, the author” too many times while amongst groups of people.
    OMG – I almost choked on my ice tea as I read this! I LOVE it when an author emails you! If only to answer a simple question – then I can go around saying – “my friend the author” too!!

    I haven’t written a book yet, but if/when I do – I’m calling you for your pimping expertise!

    I hope it warms up in Shy-town!

    Jills last blog post..Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays! Happy Festivus! Yada Yada Yada!!

  16. Deanna says:

    I need a new book to read! I would love to read a book by your friend, the author.

    How about them Bears? What a stressful game!

    I love reading your blog.

  17. I’m a selfish whore who’s been out buying adolescent books for herself instead of others! ((raises hand eagerly))

    The second best thing to actually being a successful author must be knowing one & being able to name-drop about them at will. Jealous!

    Good luck with those nasty single-digit temperatures . . . here in central Texas, we’re in the 30s, but you’d think the polar ice caps were taking over based on the frantic “winter weather” news reports.

    Legallyblondemels last blog post..The Texas Chronicles: Ranch Weekend

  18. ali says:

    hey. you know me and i write books for a living…i mean, granted they are for first graders, but still. hahaha.

    alis last blog post..snowmaggedon and ginger-casualties

  19. ali says:

    ps. how does one make award-winning corn?

    alis last blog post..snowmaggedon and ginger-casualties

  20. Ree says:

    I’m soooo freakin’ tired. It’s 10:24 a.m. – too early to go back to bed?

    Why am I even up?

    Rees last blog post..Open House at the Hotfessionals

  21. Sarah says:

    I love reading books targeted to adolescents. Sadly, I can really relate.

    Sarahs last blog post..I’ll be home for Christmas

  22. slynnro says:

    you know, that Larry lilly is right you doofus. Because I AM SURE EVERYONE ELSE IN CHICAGO LOVES HAVING THEIR FUCKING CAR SNOWED IN. God Kristin, you are an idiot.

  23. A friend sent me this link today, thought of you:

    Dutchess of Kickballs last blog post..Live Action Thundercats

  24. gillian says:

    Your new bangs are gorgeous.
    I love me some bacon.

    Can I have some teen angst chick lit?

    Happy HoHoHo!


  25. Angella says:



    I author accounting exams. Does that make me cool too?

    Wait. Don’t answer that.

    Angellas last blog post..Holiday Talking

  26. RockyCat says:

    Ohhhh, I love books! Pick me!

    RockyCats last blog post..The Big Reveal!

  27. Sheri says:

    You are the most attractive blogger EVER. Really. And Bacon, what can I say??? YOU ROCK BACON. Have I mentioned I am a pathetic housewife with no life and reading a book would totally make my life worthwhile and give it meaning???? I haven’t mentioned that??? Oh OK. Well, it would. So pick me dammit!!!! And BTW, love those bangs!!!!

    Sheris last blog post..Last Minute Panic

  28. Darcey says:

    I’m flying to Tahoe tomorrow. My parents are on different flights. I have a non-stop that takes me directly from Atlanta to Reno. My parents (and sis) have an hour-45minute layover in Chicago, that will likely be 3 hours. If it meant I could tempt you to O’Hare for lunch, I would totally swap flights with them.


  29. slynnro says:

    Also, you know what? Kiss mine and Kristin’s ass Larry L. I just reread your comment- you really think it is okay to call her a lush? What the fuck is your fucking problem?

    slynnros last blog post..Slynnro’s Fabulous Holiday Giveaway!

  30. Giggle Pixie says:

    I ONLY read books that come with a recommendation from you and/or Bacon.


    Giggle Pixies last blog post..The Closest I’ll Get to Holiday Cheer in 2008

  31. Kristie says:

    I know it’s not nice to laugh at other people’s expense, but you made me laugh. I hope it warms up there at least a little.

    Kristies last blog post..Insert witty title here

  32. You’re nephew sounds like my kind of kid.

    Merry Christmas! Hope I win a book!

    ballerinatoess last blog post..Grace in Small Things, Part 12

  33. casey says:

    #1. I am a friend of the Hoddys and Betsey sent me this way forever ago.
    #2. I heart football and snark is quite possibly my favorite word.
    #3. Even though I have 2 1/2 gigantic stacks of books to be read, I would LOVE to have another one to shoot right to the top of said stack. See, I am a school librarian and trying to find more books to spotlight for the Jr. High set. Most of my reads these days are YA novels. So, please pick me and I can pass it on to a whole crop of kiddos (you know, as long as it’s appropriate and everything!)

    caseys last blog post..Christmas Miracle

  34. Vanessa says:

    If you pick me I will read the book then give it away on my blog, providing more promotion for Eileen. So see, it would be the gift that keeps on giving!

    And seriously? FOUR???? Can you convince your family to move south? I say I want to move to Chicago and have two trips planned there next year to prospect, but the past week has me questioning this decision.

    Vanessas last blog post..Last Minute Shopping?

  35. Melissa says:

    Ack! If I lived closer I would so send Joe to unfreeze/unstick your car!! Here’s hoping it gets unburied and unstuck soon!

    And I love that your nephew calls you doofus…I would have died laughing!! Did you tell him, “you have learned well, grasshopper?”

    Melissas last blog post..Can I Pick Your Brain For A Moment?

  36. Scarlet says:

    By the way…your bangs look awesome. I got my hair did today and wish I could post a pic.

    I hope I get picked bc I love me some teen drama. And I work in a bookstore and then can recommend it to others and your friend will all of a sudden be on the NY Times Bestseller list:)

    Scarlets last blog post..Rock ‘N’ Roll High School

  37. Rhi says:

    Congratulations on winning the rock salt carrying competition. I’m thinking of having a “Case of Beer Carrying Competition” but, it would really be a travesty if I lost that competition and broke my beer.

    Rhis last blog post..Things that are not funny

  38. Haha. Salt. Re: Rhi’s beer competition, my husband once dropped a case of beer that I won. I was mad. (And I overreacted – see, like prev post). Man, typing with one hand sucks. Wish my elbow wasn’t broken.

    You’re hot and funny. Bacon? Everything tastes better with Bacon!!

    Anonymous New Yorks last blog post..A Song About December

  39. Cass says:

    And now I feel guilty complaining about our weather since it warmed up to the 30’s. But I still had to shovel for 45 mins so I might be a little justified.

    Casss last blog post..SNOW DAY x38475642

  40. Fronz says:

    Noah Rocks!

    Way to keep the Snark thrivin’ & Jivin’!


    Fronzs last blog post..Baby Urban Outfitters Model? I think so!