DINAO Round 11 – The Reality TV Edition

Posted By on October 14, 2008

Celebrate! It’s another edition of Death Is Not An Option! Oh how we have all missed it so. It has been a few long months since our last edition.

For those of you new here, the object of the game is when given the choice of two people, you have to pick which of the two you would rather have sex with. The fun part being that death is not an option and you have to pick one! Believe me, sometimes death is the only option. See other rounds here.

And on with the show.

Round 11

The These-People-Should-Stop-Breeding Edition

Jim Bob Duggar vs. Jon Gosselin from Jon & Kate Plus 8


The Truly Vomit-Inducing Edition

Howie Mandel vs. Donald Trump


The They-Were-Even-Too-Skanky-For-Bret-Michaels Edition

Heather vs. Daisy


The Lame, Family-Friendly Reality Show Host Edition

Tom Bergeron vs. Jeff Probst


The Wish-They-Would-Go-Away Edition

Jeff Conway vs. Dustin “Screech” Diamond


The Friend Vs. Friend Edition

Rob vs. Big


The Bad Hair Edition

Dog the Bounty Hunter vs. Hulk Hogan


The Reality Show Douchenozzle Edition

Dr. 90210 vs. Spencer Pratt


The Disease Ridden Edition

Girls Next Door vs. The Kardashians


There you have it! Leave your choices in the comments!

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


34 Responses to “DINAO Round 11 – The Reality TV Edition”

  1. Swishy says:

    I don’t want the Gosselins to stop breeding! Those kids are adorable!

    And JEFF PROBST, no hesitation. He is super fine.

    Swishys last blog post..T-minus I can’t think about it

  2. Laura says:

    Oh my heck, this whole edition was vomit inducing. Wow. Okay here goes:

    Jon Gosselin
    Howie Mandel
    Jeffy Probst (okay this one was not vomit-inducing. I will admit to a serious crush on Jeffy)
    Jeff Conway
    Hulk Hogan
    and the Girls Next Door


    Lauras last blog post..100 North American Foods

  3. HouseofJules says:

    YAY for DINAO!

    1) Jon Gosselin
    2) Howie Mandel (at least I know he’s clean!)
    3) Heather! Daisy’s backwards hands & crying freak me out.
    4) Jeff Probst
    5) OMG, no!!!! I can’t believe it, but I’m going with Jeff Conaway.
    6) I love them both SO much. Put them together & you have one fantastic dude. Can I do them both? No? Ok, then I guess Rob. He’s so silly, I just adore him.
    7) You are horrible to do this to me. NEITHER. JUST SHOOT ME IN THE FACE.
    8) Dr. 90210, even though I’m gagging. I know he’ll call me sweetheart & tell me I’m a beautiful woman because he says that to every female. I wouldn’t touch Spencer with a 100 foot pole.
    9) The Girls Next Door. I have a feeling they haven’t had sex in a long time, unlike the Kardashians.
    House of Jules

    HouseofJuless last blog post..My American Idol

  4. Mahnee says:

    1. Jim Bob – just for the name
    2. The Donald – Howie can’t stand to be touched
    3. Heather – but I think they’re both scary men
    4. Jeff Probst – there’s something about Tom Bergeron’s body that’s out of proportion
    5. Jeff Conway – loved him in Taxi
    6. Big – reminds me of Ruben Studdard
    7. Puke – Hulk but only because I don’t think he’s a card carrying neo-Nazi racist like Dog
    8. Dr. 90210
    9. Girls Next Door

    I seriously threw up MORE than a little in my mouth on this one!

  5. Wow, this one is really hard.

    1 John Gosslin
    2 Howie Mandel
    3 Daisy because she is plastic, but she’s hot
    4 Tom Bergeron because I remember watching him on a morning show on FX like 15 + years ago
    5 Equally as bad
    6 Equally as bad
    7 Hulk
    8 Dr. 90210
    9 Girls Next Door

    Dutchess of Kickballs last blog post..Marraige and Bushs

  6. NotAMeanGirl says:

    1. Jon Gosselin – I could take him in a fight if he tried to touch me.

    2. Howie Mandel– Notorious Germaphobe.. wouldn’t WANNA touch me

    3. Heather– she looks less scary

    4. Jeff Probst– So I can yell “SHUT! UP! PROBST!” at him in person

    5. Jeff Conway– Because Screech makes me wanna hurl… Conway just makes me sad.

    6. Rob– mainly cause I have no clue who either of them are

    7. Hogan– He’s taken so many steriods his dangly bits are practically invisible and prolly don’t work

    8. Dr. 90210 — He’s a brunette

    9. Are you SURE DINAO???

    PW for my blog post is helpme.

    NotAMeanGirls last blog post..Protected: Back Issues- Childhood Editions

  7. regan says:

    1. Jon because you know he’ll probably be okay with using a condom.

    2. Howie because when I was a kid I loved his movie “Walk Like a Man”

    3. um, Heather? I have no idea who either of these girls are because I (unfortunately) don’t watch Rock of Love or whatever it’s called.

    4. Probst. He’s kinda cute.

    5. I’ll go Screech because I’ll always feel bad for him for being a dork on Saved by the Bell

    6. Rob because I have a feeling that Big probably gets more than him. Although I really have no clue since I don’t watch their show either.

    7. Hogan.

    8. Pratt. Don’t judge me.

    9. The Girls Next Door.

    regans last blog post..I am so damn needy

  8. whoorl says:

    I just threw up. I can’t do it.

  9. Mary says:

    Yay! I love DINAO!

    1.) Is that a real question? It has to be John Gosselin. I can’t sleep with any man that calls his wife “Mother”. ugh

    2.)Howie. Donald is just too gross

    3.)I’ve never watched that show, so I can’t really make an educated decision. I think I’ll choose Heather because she looks like she has less STDs.

    4.)Absolutely Jeff Probst…he’s kinda hot.

    5.)I’ll have to go w/ Screech. It’s a nostalgia sort of thing.


    7.)Hulk Hogan

    8.)I think Dr. 90210. There’s a good chance I might punch him in his face though if he tries to talk.

    9.)The Girls Next Door.

    Marys last blog post..1st Foodiversary!

  10. Lori says:

    Since I do not watch any of these shows I’m excusing myself from this edition. 🙂 Though Jeff Probst does not look all that bad in that photo…at least better than Tom.

  11. Beckie says:

    1. OOO yessss Jimmy Bobby. For some reason I just get the feeling he’d be more fun.
    2. Make death an option.
    3. Heather….Daisy is dirty. I’m sure I’ll wake up with glitter on me from Heather, but with Daisy I feel like I’ll wake up with the CDC trying to quarantine me.
    4. Jeff Probst – he’s kinda cute in that “shhhh don’t talk you’ll ruin it” way
    5. Screech baby – he knows how to partayyyyy. Besides – I think Kenickie is old enough to be my daddy. And not in the good way.
    6. B.I.G. Baybe!!! Like my fav comedian Lisa Lamp says – I BANG THE BLACKS!
    7. Hulk Mania! I feel like Dog would have unrealistic breast expectations that my C cup self could never meet.
    8. Dr. 90210. Although I get the feeling he’d involve a mirror somehow so he could watch himself the whole time.
    9. As much as I don’t really dig blondes, I’m gonna have to go with the Girls Next Door on this one. Something about the Kardashians screams WE CAN’T SHARE BECAUSE WE ALL NEED OUR EGOS STROKED EVERY SECOND BECAUSE IF YOU STOP PAYING ATTENTION TO US FOR EVEN A MILLISECOND WE MIGHT CEASE TO EXIST. The Girls are way more chill and used to sharing.

  12. This was a gross one. We need another hottie edition!

    Never, EVER would I do Dog the Bounty Hunter OR Hulk Hogan. In some cases, Death is the ONLY option.

    nancypearlwannabes last blog post..Testing… Testing…

  13. Noelle says:

    If I had to sleep with Screech, I would find a way to kill myself, I really would.

    Noelles last blog post..The Nucular Option

  14. Mouncie123 says:

    You have a lot of Death as the options on this round!

  15. Molly says:

    1) I have to admit, I have a small crush on Jon Gosselin
    2) I’ve got to go with the Donald, but we’re mussing his hair first.
    3) Sadly, I think Heather is the less diseased & crazy of the two.
    4) Jeff Probst. Nuff said.
    5) I think I might just die….though what did he say? A Hickey from Kanickie?? Its been a while since I’ve seen Grease. And Dustin Diamond is disgusting.
    6) Oddly, I would pick Hulk Hogan
    7) I would have to pick Dr. 90201 – if I were ever close enough, I would punch Spencer IN THE FACE.
    8) I’m with ya, I think Holly, Kendra and Bridget have had a lot less sex recently than the Kardashians.

    Thank you for thoroughly disturbing me today.

    Mollys last blog post..What if?

  16. Rhi says:

    Oh Dear God, you are evil.

    1. Jim Bob Duggar for sure – I hate how submissive Jon Gosselin is. Also, I’m afraid of his wife. If needed, I’m pretty sure I could take down Michelle Duggar.

    2. Well, easy. Howie Mandell. Because we wouldn’t have to touch.

    3. Now, I am only familiar with Heather. But, I’ll pick her, because she had some FANTASTIC outfits.

    4. Jeff Probst. DUH.

    5. Ugh. Screech.

    6. I’m picking Rob – but I have no idea who those fellows are.

    7. Dog, but I’m only doing it to get to his sons. (kidding)

    8. Dr. 90210, I’d like to know what he thinks of my boobs.

    9. The Kardashians – they are funny at least.

    Rhis last blog post..Better Now

  17. Raven says:



    I am not answering for all these. I’m not. Come down to Texas and make me!

    1)Jon. The Duggers creep me the eff out.
    2)Howie. No touching and germ free.
    3)Heather. Daisy needs to be ejected from the planet.
    5)No. Just No.
    6)Rob! He’s funny. Idiotic but funny. Plus, the kid would go apeshit to meet him.
    8)This makes me want a shower. 90210. No touchy the Pratt, unless it’s to beat the shit out of him.
    9)Girls Next Door sans Kendra. Period.

    Ravens last blog post..there’s a bad moon on the rise

  18. moo says:

    OH, DINAO how I have missed thee (STILL waiting for the political version, K) … 😉

    1. Duggar (but only AFTER I get the mirena … that man LOOKS at his wife and BOOM, PREGNANT)
    2. Mandel (I like the bald)
    3. Heather, because she looks less like a tranny
    4. Probst, but as long as he doesn’t talk
    5. Conway (my eyes are tight shut for this one)
    6. Big (*sigh*)
    7. Hulk
    8. Spencer
    9. The girls next door.

    Gah, K, I hate you for not letting death be an option!!

    moos last blog post..miracles, karma, or just plain, dumb luck

  19. DM says:

    1. Yes, they should stop breeding but Jim Bob’s name makes me laugh so it would be kind of fun to scream “No, Jim Bob, no!” (screaming should definitely be an option if Death isn’t!)
    2. Howie. I’m sorry but it all comes down to the hair.
    3. Heather. Daisy has a “I will kill you and eat your liver” look in her eyes.
    4. What? Probst is hot.
    5. Conway. But only because I used to have such a crush on him and it would make me nostalgic. Plus, maybe he would dance. If it wouldn’t make him break a hip.
    6. Big, I guess. They both look equally annoying. What is with those chains?
    7. Hulk. I used to watch him on wresting and, while I loved Jesse “The Body” Ventura, I do have a soft spot for the Hulkster.
    8. Yuck. Dr. 90210 I guess.
    9. I guess the Kardashians. Just because the girls next door look completely vapid.

    DMs last blog post..Oh, Ralph Macchio, where are you now? (see bottom of post for answer)

  20. Issy says:

    Jon Gosselin – The Duggar dude just looks too wholesome

    Donald Trump – and I would take a shitload of fertility treatments first so that I can live off the child support for the next 18 years.

    Daisy – Cause I bet she makes plastic squeaky noises and that would be funny

    Jeff Probst – Cause he is hot and knows lots of awesomely romantic island places to take me

    Jeff Conway – because Screech made that bathtub porn of himself and that is just too gross and freaky

    Big – he looks like he is funny and would probably make me laugh the whole time

    Hulk Hogan – Dog just always looks so…dirty

    Dr. 90210 – Maybe I could get a free boob job out of it

    Girls Next Door – because dammit I like that show

  21. Candy says:

    You really have to stop watching so much reality television. I don’t even know who half those people are! I can’t play, if I don’t know who they are. Sob. I’m so left out.

    Candys last blog post..Out Your TiVo Day

  22. Evil Genius says:

    Okay, death is not an option, but you didn’t say anything about illness. Because this edition? They ALL made me ill.



    Evil Geniuss last blog post..This Meme is for the Worms

  23. 1. Jon Gosselin
    Mainly because I think my black card would get revoked if I went anywhere NEAR a guy named Jim Bob. Icky!
    2. Howie Mandel
    Because bald and annoying trumps a bad hairanyday.
    3. Heather
    Heather kicks ass and I think I just caught an STD from just looking at Daisy’s picture.
    4. Jeff Probst
    He’s got dimples AND an emmy!
    5. Jeff Conway
    Because he’d be so bombed that he truly would think I was the best he’d ever had.
    6. Rob
    Big? Ewww! If you can’t see your penis, it can’t see me.
    7. Dog the Bounty Hunter AND Hulk Hogan
    So I could handcuff them to the bed long enough to let some deep conditioner set in.
    8. Dr. 90210
    At least Dr. Rey has a job.
    9. The Kardashians
    Mainly because I don’t ever want to get a chocolate vagina as a gift. At least the Kardashians would bring me cute clothes from their shop (but I’d have to binge-n-purge for a year to fit in them).

    thecoconutdiariess last blog post..Apropos of Nothing

  24. Sarah says:

    This was ridiculously hard.
    1. Jon Gosselin (although he’s gotten too big for his britches..hair plugs?? PLEASE! YOU ARE NOT A CELEBRITY!)
    2. The Donald (Because I would love to say to him “You’re fired”..you know..after)
    3. omg. Heather becasue pretty sure Daisy has Hepatitis from all her tats
    4. Definitely Jeff ( we could play beer pong)
    5. Screetch because I’m truly afraid Jeff would DIE.
    6. Rob because death by suffocation is not the way I want to go
    7. Dog (can we use the handcuffs?)
    8. Spencer is an ass, but Dr. 90210 scares the SHIT out of me with his HAIRLESS body.
    9. The Kardashians (cause I know Kim would at least be good in bed) And anyone sexually attracted to Hugh and calls him “Puffin” EW! And I think Kendra is such a POSER!

    Sarahs last blog post..The Baby Monitor

  25. I have to admit, this one was easier than past versions!
    1) Jon Gosselin (I love him!)
    2) Howie (at least he would be clean!)
    3) Ugh, I don’t know either but let’s just go with Heather.
    4) Jeff Probst (I think he’s kind of cute!)
    5) I don’t even know who Jeff Conway is, but he’s gotta be better than Screech!
    6) Oy. Rob because I’m little too.
    7) Dog. Hulk’s wee-wee is probably shrunken from the steriods!
    8) Dr. 90210. Cannot STAND Spencer!
    9) The Girls Next Door. Cannot STAND the Kardashians!

    La Petite Chics last blog post..Mama’s Got a Brand New Coat!

  26. Elle Charlie says:

    Jon Gosselin
    Heather (uch)
    Jeff Probst
    Screech (ack!)
    Rob (is Meaty not an option?)
    Dr. 90210 (does this come with new boobs afterward?) (Dr. 90210 is gay, right? I know he’s married but he has to be gay?)
    The Girls Next Door (I LOVE them!)

    Elle Charlies last blog post..Austin’s powers

  27. Janice says:

    Do you total up the votes in the end?
    1. Jon Gosselin. The other choice practically guarantees I would end up pregnant
    2. Howie- I could close my eyes and touch his head and pretend he is any number of good looking bald men. If I touched Trumps hair… puking.
    3. Heather- lesser of two evils
    4. Jeff- he is not bad looking, and I actually don’t recognize the other choice
    5. No. I am sorry, I am not picking. This is my first time playing so I am pretending I don’t know the rules and I can pick death.
    6. Rob- I have a weird attraction to short guys
    7. Hulk- no good reason
    8. Spencer- but I would require he not speak. If I was with Dr. 90210 all I would be thinking is that he was planning enhancments to my body… “350ccs, lipo the stomach…”
    9. Girls Next Door- thinking it would really boil down to a pillow fight in sexy clothes, possibly some skinny dipping and then a quick kiss on the lips, just like the show. Oh and an ice cream cone in bed (yes, i have watched too many episodes of this show)

    Janices last blog post..I know, I know

  28. Kristie says:


    1. ) Totally Jon for the mere fact that he seems like a great dad and that’s a total turnon.

    2.) Howie.

    3.) Heather. I had to pick using Enie Meanie Miney Moe.

    4.) Jeff

    5.) Screech (I just threw up a little)

    6.) Rob because at least I wouldn’t get crushed to bits.

    7.) Hulk Hogan…I’ve always had a thing for him.

    8.) Spender

    9.) The Kardashian’s

    Kristies last blog post..My new obsession is ‘bananas’. That doesn’t mean that I’m obsessed with bananas.

  29. Alic says:

    oh my god, these are seriously horrific. ok:

    1. jim bob. he must be doing something right if she’s still willing after 18 kids!

    2. howie

    3. i don’t know these ones? so purely on the pic, heather.

    4. jeff, no contest

    5. i’m sorry, i vomited in my mouth there. screech. AUGH.

    6. rob

    7. dog. he’s at least got a bit of a badass thing going; hulk just… doesn’t. ick.

    8. dr 90210. anyone but spencer.

    9. definitely the kardashians.

    Alics last blog post..and the winner is…

  30. bikerchick says:

    Now that I’m done researching who some of these skanks are, I can authoritatively state that I’m ready to take my celibacy vows before sleeping with ANYONE on your list, except perhaps Jeff Probst. But I strongly suspect that he’s way shorter than me, so that would make things kinda awkward, and I’d fear him turning to the camera and saying, “I’m going to go tally the votes for this babe now.” Just sayin.

  31. Darcey says:

    1) The These-People-Should-Stop-Breeding Edition: Jim Bob Duggar vs. Jon Gosselin from Jon & Kate Plus 8
    Jon Gosselin, I guess. There are too many “Jim Bob”s in Georgia, and I don’t want to associate with any of them.

    2) The Truly Vomit-Inducing Edition: Howie Mandel vs. Donald Trump
    Howie Mandel – I used to think he was cute, at least.

    3) The They-Were-Even-Too-Skanky-For-Bret-Michaels Edition: Heather vs. Daisy
    Heather, duh. I would just want to punch Daisy in the face repeatedly.

    4) The Lame, Family-Friendly Reality Show Host Edition: Tom Bergeron vs. Jeff Probst
    Jeff Probst – he’s kinda ruggedly hot.

    5) The Wish-They-Would-Go-Away Edition: Jeff Conway vs. Dustin “Screech” Diamond
    Ewwwwwwww…. Screech? I really don’t want to pick either, but at least I could say Screech was a sympathy jump.

    6) The Friend Vs. Friend Edition: Rob vs. Big
    Rob. Big scares me.

    7) The Bad Hair Edition: Dog the Bounty Hunter vs. Hulk Hogan
    Hulk Hogan – if I’m going to sleep around, I’m not going to choose the skanky racist.

    8) The Reality Show Douchenozzle Edition: Dr. 90210 vs. Spencer Pratt
    Dr. 90210 – would not sleep with Spencer Pratt, even with someone else’s hoo-ha.

    9) The Disease Ridden Edition: Girls Next Door vs. The Kardashians
    The Kardashians. If I have to go with a potential STD, I’d prefer the girls be a little less plastic.

  32. […] kick things off, we’re going to play a variation of Kristabella’s Death is Not an Option game.  In K’s version, she lists two utterly foul people and you have to choose who’d […]

  33. Thank the Gods I don’t watch these shows.

  34. Julia says:

    this is truly gross-inducing, and it’s too bad that DINAO! I’d say:

    1) The These-People-Should-Stop-Breeding Edition: I’ll say Jon Gosselin from Jon & Kate Plus 8 simply because he’s younger, seems like he has more energy.

    2) The Truly Vomit-Inducing Edition: Howie Mandel vs. Donald Trump
    Donald Trump – I know, I know…but he managed to get 3 wives and he’s rich…and the hair won’t matter with the lights out

    3) The They-Were-Even-Too-Skanky-For-Bret-Michaels Edition: the one on the right…barely…she’s wearing pink.

    4) The Lame, Family-Friendly Reality Show Host Edition:
    Tom Bergeron who I’ve always had a slight thing for since some game show he hosted a long time ago

    5) The Wish-They-Would-Go-Away Edition:
    has to be Jeff Conway as I can’t stand a beard

    6) The Friend Vs. Friend Edition: Has to be Rob but I’d be tempted, really tempted to choose death here.

    7) The Bad Hair Edition:
    Hulk Hogan – the hair decided me

    8) The Reality Show Douchenozzle Edition:
    Dr. 90210 because Spencer Pratt is a true jackass

    9) The Disease Ridden Edition:
    The Kardashians although can we make sure the lights are out?