Unemployment Island: Day 1,782
Posted By Kristabella on October 13, 2008
I know you’re all seeing this title in your reader and you’re saying to yourselves “will she ever stop talking about being unemployed?” And you want to know something? I will stop talking about being unemployed when I’m NO LONGER UNEMPLOYED.
Actually, I just wanted to update you about the state of things here on Unemployment Island. It isn’t as dire as you think. I’m not talking to volleyballs. But I am having deep, philosophical conversations with my cat. She’s very wise. So much in fact that I’m thinking of starting her own Twitter page. Her updates will look something like this:
cneiowpgh'[io[fj9E0Q]JIp’nv’ GNRIPWPnbfoad;
27 minutes ago from web
KittyKitty
And it would look like that because she is a cat and she just happened to walk across the keyboard. Because she is a cat and therefore cannot Twitter to all her cat peeps about the kick ass seafood medley she just had for dinner. BECAUSE SHE IS A CAT. I have not lost it. Yet.
I have actually gotten into quite a routine while on Unemployment Island. A lot of it is because of the fact that I have nowhere to be and no one to see, so showering and wearing clothes are optional. I have become accustomed to going to bed at 2 AM. It’s my bed time. Which is all fine and good when you get up at 10:30 every morning. That is plenty of sleep to tackle your day.
But this late bedtime is kind of a problem when you have a reason to get up early the following day. Like when your sister-in-law asks you if you wouldn’t mind watching your niece on Saturday morning at 7:30 AM. And you were up the previous day until 2 AM because your body thinks 2 AM is a normal time to fall asleep and won’t succumb to sleepiness a second before. Stupid body.
In addition, while on Unemployment Island I have suffered from severe atrophy in all my muscles. I noticed this when I went to the local store on the Island and brought home heavy bags of groceries. My arms were sore for two days after that. Because I have done nothing more with my arms than pushing the mouse button, typing, using the TV remote and shoveling mass quantities of food into my mouth.
Today I spent most of my time applying for jobs, including one for a manager of social media, which I do have to say, Unemployment Island has made me better qualified for a job in social media. I do actually want off this island soon. I’m getting too used to the ways of the Island. I want more things to talk about. I want to maybe shower every day and possibly leave the house. (Please don’t leave a comment and tell me that yes indeed, I can do this while unemployed. I know this. There is no motivation because I can earn just as much money sitting on the couch as I can outside moving and such.)
I’m a creature of habit. And these habits aren’t necessarily the ones I would like for the rest of my life. They don’t really bode well for someone who wishes to be an active member of society. Active members shower and brush their teeth and don’t have impressions of their asses on the couch cushions. Although you won’t hear me complaining about sleeping after 10 AM every day.
:::
In other blogging news, Hotfessional chose this here blog to review for CommentLuv. So go check it out. I’m the Featured Site! And thankfully Hotfessional has some pull because the first photo they posted of me in that post was not flattering.
Also, just because I want to prove I do actually do things during the day, I did have an interview today. But it wasn’t for a job. It was for an article for the Chicago Tribune about people who hate Halloween. And I’m right up there for the most depressing reason why I hate Halloween. She found this post while Googling.
If you live in Chicago and hate Halloween, let me know because the reporter is looking for more people to interview!
About the author
When I was out of work, I used to see how long I could go without wearing shoes. My personal best was eight days. Although, at some point I began to be consciously shoelessly competitive with myself and I’d run through snow barefoot a few times to get the mail. (So I was unemployed and also stupid.)
Jens last blog post..Great Moments In Procrastination, Part Four Hundred and Eighty-Six
Hating Halloween is totally unacceptable.
Ravens last blog post..ambitious pants=fail
Dude, forget muscle atrophy. When I was unemployed I was having heart palpitations from lack of movement. Beat that!
Dutchess of Kickballs last blog post..Who had a productive weekend?
So what you’re saying is a Sassy Kay Twitter makes me a freak. WAY TO RUIN IT FOR EVERYONE!
So I was going to post something here saying how I can relate to this [my past unemployed hobby of choice being “working” on my non-existent tan, hence keeping my dermatologist employed], then I saw that Jen had commented above. As in THE Jen whose first book I am currently reading! So I am now too intimidated to come up with anything useful.
PS – Nothing wrong with talking to your cat; mine speaks to me by actually sitting on my keyboard.
Legallyblondemels last blog post..Sitting in a Bar, a 10-Ish Year Retrospective*
At least you have a cat… I’m on week 10 of being unemployed and I have started talking to the plants. I was enjoying estabilishing my record of daily visits to target but I think now I am going to play Jen’s how-many-days-can-I-not-wear-shoes-game (ain’t no snow in Charlotte).
Janices last blog post..quick one
Please do not become someone who writes their Christmas letter from their cat’s point of view. My brother-in-law writes his Christmas cards from his baby’s point of view and it makes me want to barf. If anyone from the Chicago Tribune would like to interview me about my feelings on this subject, I am available. I don’t hate Halloween though.
-R-s last blog post..Dead End Jobs and Baked Potatoes
Every time I try to get my cat to stop walking on the computer, I just make it worse and break my computer. Sometimes a cat’s gotta do what a cat’s gotta do.
Noelles last blog post..A little science goes a long way
I am really starting to hate halloween too. AND, I hate that people decorate outside for Halloween like it is Christmas!! Why do we need monsters on our front porches? Are we all not scared and traumatized enough with everyday life? Do we really need to make the world anymore scary than it already is?
Anywhoo, I love the fall and fall colors. But scary dudes with knives sticking out of their heads? Come on now people!!
How can you hate Halloween?!
nancypearlwannabes last blog post..Testing… Testing…
Halloween sucks rocks. But I don’t live in Chicago. There is definitely something to be said for sleeping past 10am, however. And cats that can put updates on Twitter. Hey, maybe there’s a gig in there somewhere – signing cats up for Twitter accounts! lol
Evil Geniuss last blog post..This Meme is for the Worms
Okay, but if I get a follow request from your cat, I’m coming there early to talk you off the ledge.
I totally hear you on the no need to shower. It’s very hard to shower when you don’t go to work. My poor Hubs doesn’t quite understand this, and probably thinks I no longer care about trying to seduce him with my beauty when he comes home from work. Really it’s just that showering requires a lot of outside motivation. Like, you almost have to *need* to shower in order to do it daily. Because it’s monotonous, and it’s very wet.
Elle Charlies last blog post..Bravo? Charlie?
I’m not so much on Unemployment Island as “Stay Ay Home Mommy Island”. Which you can live by the same philosophies. Bed at 2am..But NOT sleeping till 10..damn. Showering? Optional. Because your going to get either pooped on or puked on anyways. Anyhoo, I can relate in more ways than one. I raise my glass of wine to you tonight as employ my TiVo at midnight.
Sarahs last blog post..Witches Brew
I like the whole idea of no shoes. And if I wasn’t worried my boobs would sink to my ankles, I’d go no bra, too. 😉
Rees last blog post..Traditions – Past in Polaroids 10
I think that when one is unemployed, for every one resume you send out, you get either an additional 15 minute nap or a really good chocolate bar. Being unemployed is statistically proven to cause stress and use up valuable caloric resources.
I just made that up, but you can quote me from bed.
I’m with Jozet, one resume’ out, nap, one more, nap, one more, nap, oops that’s 3 in one day, time to call it quits, lol. Good luck
Jerri Anns last blog post..And it came to be……one day….
Wait. Sassy Kay is on Twitter? How did I not know this?
Angellas last blog post..Two