T Minus 8 Working Days

Posted By on August 24, 2008

I’m venturing into the last two weeks at my crap-ass job. As we speak, I’m not minding it all that much seeing as I’m sitting in my 31st floor hotel suite overlooking Michigan Avenue and drinking my free bottle of wine and eating my free chocolate-covered strawberries. (Well, I’m not actually eating them since I don’t like strawberries and fruit and chocolate should never mix.)

I’ve been through this work sales conference song and dance before. In fact, the suite I’m staying in? I stayed here just last October. But this was the first time that I didn’t want to go. Like sitting on my couch this afternoon on the verge of tears didn’t want to go. As much as I thought it would get easier every day to come in and sit around and DO NOTHING, it isn’t. Top that with some annoying co-workers and I’d really like to be working from home the next 8 working days. In fact, I’d really much prefer to pull my toenails out one by one with pliers than be here this week.

But, hey, free wine.

Other than that, my weekend was chock full of BORING. There was much sitting around and eating and drinking of fruit punch flavored sugar-free Kool-Aid. And TV watching. And I maybe finally saw Juno and was the last person on the planet to do so. And I loved it.

Also, I watched Definitely, Maybe (seriously, I was in my bed ALL DAY on Saturday, but mainly because it was 100 degrees in my house and that is where the A/C is and NOT because I’m a lazy slob) this weekend. And I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I was impressed with Ryan Reynolds. I thought he could only play roles where he was a douchebag. But he pulled off the whole dad thing and it was sweet and totally ended the way I wanted, which I was worried about there for a hot second, and I totally wept. Yeah, I didn’t just cry. I kind of sobbed because I’m an emotional asshole.

(This has to be the worst blog post in the history of blogging. I’m sure Dooce would not like this, seeing as she’s the reason I’m able to type and blog and pretty much live as a human being. Let’s all bow our heads. Thanks be to Dooce, Amen.)

Friday night I went to a wedding. My friend Jenny was getting married. It was a lovely ceremony and she looked stunning. She had the most beautiful dress. Which I would show you but I left my camera at home. And I’m in a hotel, drinking free wine. In case I hadn’t mentioned it.

(Dear burglars, please don’t take anything. My cats are vicious and will attack strangers. Kthxbai.)

(You would think I am drunk, but I am not. It must be the high altitude. Did I mention I am on the 31st floor? In a suite?)

I have not picked winners for the Bacon/400th post contest. It is mostly because I am lazy and didn’t want to bring the laptop into my bedroom this weekend. Because the laptop makes the bed warm and it was already hot and humid in my house and do not want.

The other reason is that I don’t know how to pick winners. You are all winners. And if I don’t pick Slynnro, she will beat me up. She’s a mean fucker.

My friend Michelle even attacked me on Friday at the wedding, on the dance floor (no place for confrontation, unless it is a dance-off), because she wants the Bacon band-aids. Because she’s vegetarian AND kosher. And I’m all “but Slynnro is MEAN and Ben’s daughter has CANCER. WHAT IS A GIRL TO DO????”

So I decided to put it off for a few days until I figure this shit out. And not go poor in the meantime because I want to buy you ALL bacon novelty gifts! And I can’t really do that seeing as I am going to be unemployed in two short weeks.

But to ease the heartache of no winners announced, I will tell you that I am making the Olympics live on even longer and will be doing an Olympics DINAO this week. That is, if I don’t get too drunk and pass out on my bed with my clothes on with my phone in my hand.

(Oh, it has happened before. It actually happened the last time I stayed in this exact room in October. Teh classy, I has it.)

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


25 Responses to “T Minus 8 Working Days”

  1. Amber says:

    It absolutely sucks that you’re being expected to jump thorugh all these work related hoops when you’ve been laid off. Seriously, everyone I know who got laid off (myself included) got allowed to pretty much just surf the internet all day, take long lunches, and maybe not come back after them. It’s what’s expected.

    Still, I guess free wine is never a bad thing. And it’s almost over – hang in there….

    Ambers last blog post..What We Did on the Weekend

  2. witchypoo says:

    Why not cop out and do a random generator thingie?

    witchypoos last blog post..The Vagina Rocks

  3. Mahnee says:

    Hang in there, kiddo. I feel for you and hope this week goes by fast. And your douche bag co-worked just disappears.

  4. Technically, Ben’s daughter is a cancer survivor. She made it! And she’s way cute! Don’t let Ben use her cuteness for his evil purposes.

  5. Carrie says:

    It was so good to see you at the wedding on Friday! How late did you stay? Oh, and I heart sugar free kool-aid fruit punch! 🙂

  6. slynnro says:

    Finally someone else who doesn’t like chocolate covered strawberries!

    But I’m going to have to talk with Ali about this post. This is unacceptable treatment of a BlogHer roommate.

    slynnros last blog post..In Which My Dentist Is Not Quite Sure What to Make of Me

  7. Willow says:

    I still can’t find any bacon plasters here in Britain!

    The whole work thing sucks – make sure that you don’t leave ANY unopened bottles of wine behind. And the passing out on the bed thing is fine – it’s only not classy if you do it in the lift (sorry, elevator)- after all, if it’s not witnessed, it didn’t happen – them’s the words I live by 😉

    Willows last blog post..If I promise they won’t be this long always, will you come back?

  8. You are so close to the finish line with this job-which I am sure makes it even harder to stay. You are almost done!!

    Sensibly Sassys last blog post..Honey Granola Breakfast Bars

  9. ali says:

    aw, hon. i’m sure Dooce loved your post 😉

    alis last blog post..self mock. again. #932

  10. Jill says:

    Awww – it sucks being out of town when you don’t want to. But, like you said – THERE IS FREE WINE! Best of luck to these last 8 days.

    Jills last blog post..Zoo B Do

  11. DeeMarie says:

    I wish you the best in your last few days and as you find the greatest job ever!!!

    And I wanted to let you know I just gave you an award on my site. Hop on over if you want to grab the award pic and feel free to share the love!

    DeeMaries last blog post..I Feel So Loved, Time to Share!!

  12. Allison says:

    Working sucks….but may the free wine make it a bit better in your last days.

    I think a random number generator may be the way to go for the Bacon prizes.

    Allisons last blog post..Bad Bathroom Behavior

  13. Make it easy on yourself and just pick me.

    Hang in there. Remember: FREE WINE!

    Jen on the Edges last blog post..Mamarazzi Monday: Madonna needs to grow up

  14. Rhi says:

    Like I said before, We’ll buy you dinner AND WINE when we are in Chicago. Or, if you’d rather not pick me, you can go ahead and use Random.org

    Your choice.

    Rhis last blog post..Soap

  15. Mouncie123 says:

    Don’t let that work thing cramp your happy little style girlfriend! Keep your chin up and show them all the talent you have and they will regret their decision, you watch.
    Yea DINAO Olympics, Can’t wait!!!

  16. dabby says:

    I’m 99.9% sure that your next job will be SO much more awesome than the stupid current job and that you’ll be thrilled that you got out when you did. Jerkfaces, all of them.

    dabbys last blog post..Monday Monday, so good to me

  17. While I am not a fan of bacon (gasp!), I do enjoy chocolate covered strawberries. What I’m sayin’ is…you scratch my back and I’ll mail you some back fat.

    Kimberly/ MommaKs last blog post..Don’t Make Me Smack You Right Here on this Escalator

  18. Alice says:

    i’m so impressed that you’re managing to give a shit and actually show up these last few weeks. seriously.

    Alices last blog post..weekend: FAIL edition

  19. Ree says:

    31st floor – free wine. Are you at the Wyndham? I think I stayed in that room.

    Rees last blog post..Teachers – Past in Polaroids 3

  20. Chris says:

    I give you serious props for dragging ass IN there every day. I seriously doubt I could do it.

    As for staying inside this weekend – SMART WOMAN. I was on a sailboat on Saturday and I have NEVER sweat that much in my entire life. Sweet weeping Jesus. I opened the door to 75 degree weather on Sunday and damn near cried with relief.

    Keep drinking. Call if you need reinforcements!

    Chriss last blog post.."Swanky!" which now translates as…..

  21. Michelle says:

    Ha ha! I don’t even remember attacking you.

  22. Kristie says:

    I wouldn’t fault you for not going to work. Keep drinking wine!

    Kristies last blog post..Welcome home Degmeister.

  23. **SPOILER ALERT** I was sooo worried that Ryan was gonna end up with Rachel Weiz so it has a big hunk of relief at the end.

    thecoconutdiariess last blog post..…But Where Was Her Flag?

  24. Andrea says:

    What kind of wine? And no, fruit and chocolate- a big no no in my book!

    Andreas last blog post..Wheelies

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