I’m Too Old For 4 AM

Posted By on August 21, 2008

Last night the 49ers came into town for their preseason game with the Bears. The 49ers have actually come into town at least once a year every year since I’ve moved back to Chicago. It is nice to get to see the few people left that I still know.

I’m still bitter about some of the things that happened at the 49ers. I’m still bitter that they laid me off. And I’m still bitter about the way that organization tends to treat people and how the owner is turning a storied franchise into something of a joke.

I’m also bitter and pleased at the same time that in the three years since I’ve left, they have had two different people try to do my old job. And no one has matched the work I did there in my six seasons. If I do say so myself.

There are not a lot of people left that I know who still work for the team. There are even less players who are still around. And only because an ex-49ers coach came back this year, I now only know 2 coaches on that team. The place has changed so much in just three years.

Last night I started off waiting for the team to arrive at their hotel, and I hung out with Gary Plummer, an ex-49ers player who now is a radio announcer for the team. We spent some time catching up and he gave me the dirt on the people and how things have changed.

Then we spent a lot of time drinking. And then there was more drinking and laughing and hugging. And talk of my blog. And me passing out some of my blog business cards because I have like 200 left over from BlogHer and need to get rid of them. And then finally around 3:30 AM, I decided that I had been up for almost 24 hours and that I was the one who had to get up early for work. So I hopped in a cab and got my happy, drunk ass home. (Yes, I did get hit on by the cab driver. But no, no digits were exchanged. He wondered why I was single.) And then I slept through my alarm and work up at 10 AM and decided that Day -11 At Work was going to be a work from home day.

I had a really good time last night, but at the same time I didn’t. My years with the 49ers were some of the most defining in my life. It is where I grew up. It is where I became the person I am today. I was part of that world for six years. And now I’m not. So as fun as it is to hang out with all these people who still work there, it is hard because they still work there and I don’t. They have moved on. I have moved on.

I am happy almost every single day to be out of that world. I am happy I get to spend my weekends and evenings doing the things I want to do, and not spending 12 hours in a football pressbox. With every time I see my former co-workers, I move farther and farther from that life. It makes me sad because there are people there I still wish I worked with. It makes me sad that all my hard work, all my awesome work, is forgotten and now I’m just a name and photo in a media guide. And a drunken girl in a bar in Chicago that has business cards for her blog.

There are still people there that I love. And they miss me and it makes me feel needed and missed. When you don’t get to leave a job on your own, there is always that part of you that is going to feel like you have some unfinished business. Because you didn’t get to walk out and give everyone a big middle finger and tell them to SUCK IT! So there’s always a part of you that wants them to not be able to move on, to not be able to manage without you still working there.

It is nice to hear that sometimes, three years later, that still is the case.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


22 Responses to “I’m Too Old For 4 AM”

  1. Mahnee says:

    I think there’s always that feeling of unfinished business when you don’t leave a job of your own accord. Bitter is a good word to describe it.
    They’ll NEVER find anyone who did YOUR job as well as YOU did. Never.

  2. You can miss your co-workers without missing your job… believe me, I do it all the time.

  3. beej says:

    It’s a weird “You can’t go home again” feeling getting together with my excoworkers.

    So, um…who won the contest? 🙂

    beejs last blog post..Moonday!

  4. Ree says:

    Is it horrible for me to admit that I am almost wishing that this company does offer me a job so that I can tell them to bite me?

    {{hugs sweetie}}

    Rees last blog post..Self Discoveries in Blogging

  5. I had the same feeling when I went home earlier this month. It was like “What do you mean you guys are NOT sitting in a corner, rocking yourselves to sleep since I left??” If you had a find a silver lining its that (a) in your lifetime, you were able to have a job that you loved (b) it prepared you for future layoffs (though not a training you really wanted) and (c) you’ve made some very unique memories to tuck into your pocket and pull out on a rainy day.

    thecoconutdiariess last blog post..Wives Just Don’t Understand

  6. OF COURSE they miss you! I know I would. Then again, I would have been smart enough to keep you as an employee and even give you a big-ass raise with a yearly shoe shopping bonus.

    Jen on the Edges last blog post..Friday fragments

  7. Candy says:

    I guess what they say about not going home again is true. You aren’t the same person you were 6 years ago and the job isn’t either.

    So WRITE A BOOK about it 😉

    Candys last blog post..Altercation With The Crazees, Chapters V and 17

  8. dabby says:

    I was actually thrilled when I saw my old boss a few weeks ago and she told me she couldn’t stand my replacement. I knew the new guy was a jerk, but no one believed me…

    Also, thinking about you hanging out in a pressbox totally makes me start thinking about Jerry Maguire.

    dabbys last blog post..It’s raining, it’s pouring, the old man is snoring…or maybe just the alligator post

  9. Nancy says:

    For sure it’s better to leave by choice, but at least the friendships you made there continue on.

    I still think there is something good right around the corner for you … just about to happen =)

  10. ali says:

    you LOVE the cab drivers, eh? 😉

    alis last blog post..spam kills kittens. even the shaving ryan’s privates kind. ha.

  11. Alice says:

    49ers! that’s pretty awesome. i’ve had two friends work for the redskins (in VERY different capacities) and both of them quit within a few years because it was so grueling. so while i’m always all “I WOULD GIVE UP ANYTHING TO WORK FOR THE NY GIANTS!!!” i actually probably WOULDN’T, because i’d hate to ruin how fun the games are for me now.

    Alices last blog post..WWC(ish): bitter & sweet

  12. jennster says:

    what did you do for the 49 whiners?? i didn’t know you worked for them. and how fun that you left this area RIGHT when i moved here. coincidence? i think not! hmph.
    lol @ suck it! SUCK IT BITCHES!!! 🙂

    jennsters last blog post..i think i’m funny

  13. Rhi says:

    This is exactly how I feel about my former coworkers – except, my job is POOPY right now and I do kind of miss the job (also the pay)

    Rhis last blog post..Friday Bullets: Deja Vu Edition!

  14. The Muse says:

    Yeah, I have to admit there’s no better feeling than knowing you’re missed at a job.

    I saw my ex-boss (president of an ad agency) at an industry event, after about 10 months of being away. When he found out what I was working on now, he told me that with a few more years of experience under my belt, he wanted me to come back and whip everyone back into shape, and that the decision to do lay-offs that summer was a corporate decision made much higher than him.

    It made me feel amazing. And even more so when he wrote me a note after that, telling me how good it was to hear that I was happy and doing well for myself.

    The Muses last blog post..Hey Mr. Postman

  15. Ann Marie says:

    “And I’m still bitter about … how the owner is turning a storied franchise into something of a joke.”

    As a SF native and a lifelong 49er fan, I can’t agree more with this statement. I hate what the current owners have done to the franchise.

    Ann Maries last blog post..All Out of Sorts …

  16. Scarlet says:

    Girl, 4am kicks my ass way more often than it should. I so now how you must have felt the next day.

    Scarlets last blog post..Transport Is Arranged

  17. Cara says:

    I feel exactly the same way about my old job, although I left to stay home with my baby. When I go back to visit, I feel like I’m running into an ex. All the familiarity, but awkward and weird now. I went out to lunch with my old boss a couple of weeks ago and she was talking about how the second person (in 10 months) they hired to do my job is just not cutting it. To her, I was like, oh, that’s too bad, I’m sure she’ll catch on, it’s just the learning curve, blah, blah, blah. On the inside, I was like, hell fucking yeah.

    And I haven’t seen 4am, except to get up and feed the baby, in like 5 years. This old barhound is pretty pathetic these days.

    Caras last blog post..Another Milestone

  18. Did you get any gossip on the guy we were talking about the other day?! How fun, well, except for the hangover.

  19. ah the forty whiners. can you believe that jt o sucksalot is the qb now? what a wreck. but that is good for your 4 time defending nfc west champs!

  20. Angella says:

    It always feels good to know that you left a gaping hole behind that nobody can fill 🙂

    Angellas last blog post..How To Take Really Crisp Photos

  21. Lys says:

    They lost a valuable asset when they lost you and I have to applaud your clarity on the whole situation. At least you are able to maintain the relationship with your coworkers and keep it on your terms, right?

    Lyss last blog post..Clarity, So Have It…

  22. celticbuffy says:

    I am delurking to make you feel better in the fact that you are NOT the last person to see Juno. I sheepishly admit that I still have not seen it even though I seriously want to. I haven’t seen “Definitely, Maybe” yet either. So you’re two up on me there! 🙂

    I with you on the job hunting. I going through it right now too. Why won’t someone pay us to just stay home? 😉

    celticbuffys last blog post..I’m here, I’m here!