Mother Nature: Providing Drama Since The Dawn Of Time
Posted By Kristabella on August 4, 2008
As I sat down tonight to write my post, I was hit with a bad case of writer’s block. You see, I’m totally in a funk. I really hate going in to work each day. Last week at the sales conference was not easy. I know I’m constantly complaining about how hard it is to go in to work every day, knowing my days are numbered, but last week was like the straw that broke the camel’s back. I was expected to do everything and wasn’t offered a lick of help. And not ONCE did someone ask “can I help you with that since you’re doing the job of THREE people, and yet you are only one person?” Or maybe someone would like to ask “oh, hey, maybe I should know how to do that for the future.”
I got none of that. And every time I was in the back of the room applying for jobs, typing away on my laptop, I got glared at. Because apparently I was supposed to sit in the back of the room and stare into space and fall asleep in my chair.
But then I really didn’t want to write a post about that. Because you guys are all “SHUT UP WOMAN! WE GET IT!” And yet when I go to talk about something different, I can talk of NOTHING ELSE.
Well, until tonight. I now will be talking about how I ALMOST DIED IN A TORNADO. Because OMG! I ALMOST DIED IN A TORNADO TONIGHT!
Well, not really.
But, as I was sitting here booting up WordPress, the lightening and thunder started to get really bad. Not really raining too hard, but I was convinced if I got too close to the window, I would be electrocuted. So I put the cats by the window to see how bad it was. (They are like my portable weather vane.) Simba’s hair is still standing on end.
In the meantime, I figured I should probably stop watching basic cable and maybe turn on a local station. And then on twitter, Jules is all “TORNADO. GOING TO MY BATH TUB.” And I was all “that Jules, she’s such a kidder. You shouldn’t take a bath when there is a bad storm and/or a tornado.”
And then the lovely gentleman on CBS 2 interrupted and told me “OMG! THERE IS A TORNADO HEADING TOWARD THE CITY! WE NEVER SEE TORNADOES GO THIS FAR EAST!” And then I laughed and checked out Fox online and their Live Power Doppler because I’m obsessed with it. They have a running chat on the right side of the page and there are some crazy people in the Chicagoland area, let me tell you. And somehow they all have wireless access.
As soon as I booted up Fox’s website the tornado sirens went off. Let me say that again, THEMOTHERFUCKINGTORNADOSIRENSWENTOFFHOLYSHITBALLS!
I have lived in the greater Chicago area almost my whole life, 21 of my almost-31 years. So I know bad storms. And I can honestly say that besides the sirens going off at 10 AM the first Tuesday of every month (that’s when they test them. And yes, if you live here you know that. And no, I don’t know what will happen if there is ever a tornado at 10 AM on the first Tuesday of some month. I think the world will implode) in that time I have maybe only heard them go off a few times in my life, like once or twice. In fact, I always wondered if they would be loud enough to hear. Oh, shit yeah, they are loud enough to hear.
So the tornado sirens go off. And what do I do? I CALL MY MOM. Because, I have no fucking clue where I’m supposed to go. I literally was running around like a chicken with its head cut off because I was all “should I close the windows? Should I turn off the lights? What about the cats? Should I shut down MY COMPUTER? Should I PUT ON PANTS?”
My mom calmed me down and said “go to your laundry room!” And so I did. And I left the windows wide open, put my laptop in hibernate mode and wished the cats the best of luck. Because they were about to go on one wild ride.
Down in the laundry room, I met a handful of my neighbors. Including the pot smokers. And let me tell you, they are impressed with me. I showed up in too-short shorts (it’s HOT in my house people), with cottage cheese legs as far as the eye could see, and a wife beater and generally just a hot sweaty mess because I decided to cook in 90 degree weather. But hey, at least I had pants on.
My neighbors are very nice. The good pet owners packed up their kitties and brought them down with them. Apparently they think CLEARLY in natural disasters. I DO NOT.
We chatted and decided we should throw a party for all of us some time in the near future. One that DOES NOT INVOLVE FUNNEL CLOUDS. Funnel cakes are OK, though.
We were down there for about 30 minutes until the storm passed. I got back up to my apartment to find the cats THROWING A PARTY! No, they were hiding under the bed. And the windows I left wide open? Created a Lake Titicaca in my living room, all over my chair, a blanket and the cat’s scratching post.
So thankfully nothing was damaged, I still have a roof over my head, two cats and MY LAPTOP. Whew. AND! I got a blog post out of it!
And now I have to go to bed. Because I have a fake interview tomorrow. Well, not completely fake. I’m going to meet some recruiter at my half-sister’s office because if she got six people to come in, she got $500. I figured I would go because maybe it will turn into a job. Because that would be the easiest job search ever. Plus at the very least, she’s totally buying me dinner.
THANK GOD THE LAPTOP SURVIVED.
And also? Can I just say how jealous I am that I missed the earthquake? And now this. It’s like no-one wants me to have fun.
HO. LEE. CRAP. Tornadoes scare the ever-loving shit out of me. I know you probably feel the same way about earthquakes, but give me the unexpected any day!
heather…s last blog post..Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies
Glad you’re okay!
Dear Hubby and I had to spend about 1-1/2 hours in our basement earlier this spring due to bad storms. We put the cats in cat carriers and brought them down thre with us. They were NOT amused. But am I the one who thought of doing that? NO – – it was my clear-thinking husband, bless him.
Liz J in Central Illinoiss last blog post..The Party’s Over (UPDATE)
If you had attempted to carry the cats down to the laundry room, WITHOUT putting them in a carrier, you would have been scratched to pieces. There was no way I was going to tell you to find the carrier when the TORNADO SIRENS WERE GOING OFF!!!!!
How much does this suck, since I consider a power outtage a legitimate reason to call in sick?????? The power went off (and is still off) across the street, across the alley, down the block, etc. I think we were the only half block on the whole street that had power. So, here I sit at work. Shoot.
I’m glad you are okay! I have been watching the news and wondering how you were doing up there. Our big drama down here has turned out to be nothing so far. People freaked out so badly yesterday about the tropical storm that the grocery store looked like it had been looted and Wills is home from work on a “snow” day because of it, so stupid.
yeah I would have no idea what to do in that situation. I suppose I too would hide in bathtub, but it really wouldn’t protect me too much. SCARY!
Dutchess of Kickballs last blog post..It’s a Small World Afterall
When I lived in an apartment, I had no idea what to do if the tornado sirens went off either. But the one time the sirens went off while I was living there, I was actually at the law school at the time, so there you go.
I’m glad you are ok, and I hope your apartment is all dried out now!
Good luck with the interview; it never hurts to get extra interview practice.
-R-s last blog post..Oh Well
You totally deserve a funnel cake for your ordeal.
Rhis last blog post..Important Ovary Surgery
There was a torando close to the city? Maybe I should have paid more attention to the Emergency Broadcast System last night instead of getting mad that the announcments kept interrupting “Space Balls”.
And I totally didn’t hear the sirens. Oops. Glad that tornado didn’t really touch down in the city.
Glad everything’s ok. Hope your apartment dries out soon.
Baileys last blog post..Lollapaloser
You had at me the irony of the 10AM tornado on the first Tuesday of the month. Brilliant!
Glad you survived.
Candys last blog post..Freakiest Comment Ever
That’s supposed to read “you had me at” but apparently my dyslexia is acting up again.
Candys last blog post..Freakiest Comment Ever
Yup, the weather was horrible. We were more north so we didn’t get the tornado like winds. Thought the lightening…yup! I sat on the second floor watching out the window! At this point a little lightening can’t hurt me 😉
Sheesh, glad you’re OK (all three of you). I always feel safer in older buildings during tornadoes, so you’re in luck with your apt. building. Hang in there and good luck at the recruiters…
The weather situation in the world is not improving with any significant haste.
Noelles last blog post..Chew, chew, chew, it is so good for you
SHOULD I PUT ON PANTS? That made me laugh so hard! I live in Texas where we get so many tornado warning that I don’t even take them seriously anymore which is probably not good. If I was probably faced with a real one I would probably freak out and not know what to do!
Lissas last blog post..Reasons Why I Could Never Be A Celebrity
Wow that is nuts. I would absolutley call my mom first. Moms always know what to do!
Oh my God, a tornado is one of my worst nightmares. I ,mean, look at what happened to Dorothy… I wouldn’t have a clue to do in one either, but of course, that wouldn’t matter so much in my case on account of I WOULD BE DEAD. From the fear.
Ambers last blog post..The only good thing about winter: the shopping
I’m loving reading the other Chicagoens stories of what they did last night. I was working on an OUTDOOR photo shoot in the middle of the loop. There was lights, sound, etc…outside…in the pouring sideways rain and tornado sirens…and then it started FLOODING, just a little bit inside the building…and then the smoke machine they were using in the building set off the FIRE ALARM. Did they cancel the shoot? Nope. We waited it out. Oh yeah. It was good times.
Kitchen Vixens last blog post..Lessons Learned
Totally freaky. At least with a hurricane, you have some warning and can tape the windows so they break in bigger pieces. I so would have ditched the cats too. But not the laptop. What were you thinking? Shut the laptop right down and bring it with you next time.
I havent’ done a tornado since I was five, but I remember the aftermath. And for the love of God woman, get a cat carrier big enough for the fuzzballs and one bottle of wine. And no you don’t have to share with the neighbors.
Lelas last blog post..Dusting off my Soapbox
glad you didn’t blow away.
I fell for the whole 10 AM first Tuesday of the month thing TODAY within hours after reading your blog!!
My class was all “it’s the first Tuesday of the month” and I was all “dammit! I just read that on my friend’s blog!”
Whoa, glad you (and the cats!) are okay! I’ve never been that close to a tornado.
Katies last blog post..Something to Make Me Think Twice About Walking Barefoot in the Grass
Mmm, funnel cake!
Glad you (and your kitties!) are okay.
ryes last blog post..Swim away! Swim away!
Oh Kristin I could tell you stories of the tornado warnings while growing up. Your Mother and Grandmother and Aunt used to make fun of me all the time. Oh wait they still do. Sometimes I still do pack a little bag with important stuff that I don’t want to get blown away. I figure it’ll go with me if I’m blown to Oz.
Can’t believe you forgot the wine!
We had the sirens last year. Creepiest sound ever!
slynnros last blog post..Announcing NEW BLOG!
I would have totally called my mom too.
katies last blog post..YMSB
I spent most of my night last night sitting in my closet with a mag light,book, and my kitties. We get more tornado warnings than you being further from the city and I’m a FREAK about them!
Sarahs last blog post..Day After The Storm
The tornado went just north of where I was last night. I hate storms and I called my mom first about it.
KCs last blog post..How people found my blog in July.
Glad you’re ok and who doesn’t love free dinner! Hope the interview went well.
DUDE! My power was totally out until about an hour ago. I even had to go to my sister’s this morning just to charge my cell phone before work. I could have gone there last night but by the time I decided to do that, it was 11pm and I didn’t want to drive. It was a total mess here in the burbs, too. Yeah, the whole “going to the tub” was because the siren was going off here, too. I was actually scared shitless at one point. For reals. AND one of the tornados touched down less than 10 miles from here.
Got your twitter response about Fox News just now too! Funny…
Glad you’re okay and I’m okay!
Jules
House of Jules
HouseofJuless last blog post..A good excuse to work "I’m here to PUMP (clap) YOU UP!" into your next conversation
Oh yeah and OMG, how was the interview?! Fingers crossed for you, babycakes!
Jules
House of Jules
HouseofJuless last blog post..A good excuse to work "I’m here to PUMP (clap) YOU UP!" into your next conversation
Kristin,
So my question to you,
A. Earthquakes
B Tornado
I say California rocking is WAY less scary than the Wizard of Oz crap you just went through!
Glad your ok, did bacon get wet?
Oh my goodness!! Glad you’re all right…and of course, we musn’t forget the laptop! Very glad it survived as well!!
Erins last blog post..The Night I met Donnie Brown (or…Molly’s Wedding)
I’m sitting here laughing so hard that Pete is looking at me weird. It’s all your fault. (Okay, not really. He’s looked at me weird before when it was totally my fault.)
I’m glad you survived the Great Chicagoland Tornado of ’08. Now if we can just figure out a way to make work bearable…
Jen on the Edges last blog post..Pencils
Welcome to the midwest and apartment/condo living. Get used to long nights spent in the laundry room, or underneath your stair well.
Or even in your bathtub.
Seriously, about 11:00 my husband told me we both had better just go sit in the tub to wait it out. I told him he was full of shit. And then a SERIOUS lightning burst lit up OUR ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD, at which time I might have made little size 5 footprints up his back as I raced him to the tub.
Evil Geniuss last blog post..Training Hell
THANK GOD YOUR LAPTOPS IS OK!
And you too 🙂
Angellas last blog post..Squeezing Every Moment