It’s Canada Day
Posted By Kristabella on July 1, 2008
And what is Canada Day? I have no idea. But because I’m in charge of proofing the company calendar at work, I know that it is always on July 1. One of my co-workers and I think it is Canada’s 4th of July. Not Independence Day. But basically Canada’s day in the beginning of July to take time off from work that isn’t July 4. She says it is because Canadians have the same holidays as us, they just do it before the U.S. (like Thanksgiving in October) and call it different names. Or just something weird altogether like Boxing Day.
(And I’m sure Ali (my BlogHer roomie!) and Angella will tell us what the day actually means. Because they are Canadians they should know, right?)
I have nothing to write. I’m too tired to think of anything funny. I think this whole “not gonna have a job in 2 months” thing is bothering me more than I’d like to let on. Or I just didn’t get enough sleep last night after 4 beers at the Taste.
Plus, I’m currently choking on the pot smoke coming up from my neighbors below me. It is a daily occurrence to smell pot wafting up from their apartment. I mean, I don’t think they work and both the girl and guy who live there have matching Jason Castro dreads. But they did remove the bird’s nest I was housing on my back porch, so I can’t hate on them too much.
In theory. Right now I am choking. ON THE AIR. IN MY APARTMENT. Look, for one thing, you’re not supposed to smoke anything in your apartment. It says so in the lease. And me choking on the air has made me want to be the LEASE STICKLER. And go third grade on your ass and TELL ON YOU. I’m literally hacking up a lung like I just swallowed, oh I don’t know, a joint’s worth of pot smoke. AND I DID NOT. Which is nice because I don’t have the munchies (yet), but also NOT NICE because I like to be able to breathe. Imagine that.
So I actually just yelled, LOUDLY, “STOP SMOKING POT!” I’m such a grown up.
I have only smoked pot once in my life. (Don’t worry, I don’t plan on running for public office. Unless that is the Office of the Public Drunk. And I would hope that the above information would only help my campaign.) I was pretty drunk and the people across the street from my friends were habitual pot smokers (like my fucking neighbors), so I was all “hey! I’ll try it!” So I did and I got crazy sleepy. And I was like “I’m sleepy enough sober, I don’t need to make myself SLEEPIER.” So I’ve never done it again.
(And just re-reading that paragraph makes me sound TOTALLY STONED. Where’s mah Cheetoes, bitch?)
I’ve never done it since, until tonight. Because I’m convinced that I’ve inhaled enough of the stuff they have blown out their OPEN windows that has wafted into mine to fail a drug test. And now I’m even sleepier. And have I mentioned the CHOKING? On the AIR in my apartment? Supposedly fresh air from the outside? What the fuck, stoner hippies?
This is no fucking way to spend Canada Day, let me tell you.
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I say start stomping your feet and loudly ask them to share. Demand them to share or you’re telling! Most stoners don’t like to share because they never feel like they have enough. Maybe they will shut the windows and you’ll never smell the smoke again! Or maybe leave a smoke grabber ashtray in front of their door, knock and run?
I totally cracked up at you yelling at your neighbors to stop smoking pot. You KNOW all they did when they heard that was giggle, right?! Also, I bet when you googled 420 (Taj’s blog post from the other day) you must have thought that the timing was all just too much! Too bad you don’t live above the sweaty guy from the train. I’ll be you’d find a way to distract him from the ganja!
Jules
House of Jules
HouseofJules’s last blog post..EXTRA! ENERGIZING!
As a Canadian from way back (LOL) I bring you this description of Canada Day from Heritage Canada:
“On June 20, 1868, a proclamation signed by the Governor General, Lord Monck, called upon all Her Majesty’s loving subjects throughout Canada to join in the celebration of the anniversary of the formation of the union of the British North America provinces in a federation under the name of Canada on July 1st.
The July 1 holiday was established by statute in 1879, under the name Dominion Day.
There is no record of organized ceremonies after this first anniversary, except for the 50th anniversary of Confederation in 1917, at which time the new Centre Block of the Parliament Buildings, under construction, was dedicated as a memorial to the Fathers of Confederation and to the valour of Canadians fighting in the First World War in Europe.
The next celebration was held in 1927 to mark the Diamond Jubilee of Confederation. It was highlighted by the laying of the cornerstone by the Governor General of the Confederation Building on Wellington Street and the inauguration of the Carillon in the Peace Tower.
Since 1958, the government has arranged for an annual observance of Canada’s national day with the Secretary of State of Canada in charge of the coordination. The format provided for a Trooping the Colours ceremony on the lawn of Parliament Hill in the afternoon, a sunset ceremony in the evening followed by a mass band concert and fireworks display.
Another highlight was Canada’s Centennial in 1967 when Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II attended the celebrations with Parliament Hill again being the backdrop for a large scale official ceremony.
The format changed in 1968 with the addition of multicultural and professional concerts held on Parliament Hill including a nationally televised show. Up until 1975, the focus of the celebrations, under the name “Festival Canada”, was held in the National Capital Region during the whole month of July and involved numerous cultural, artistic and sport activities, as well as municipalities and voluntary organizations. The celebration was cancelled in 1976 but was reactivated in 1977.
A new formula was developed in 1980 whereby the National Committee (the federal government organization charged with planning Canada’s Birthday celebrations) stressed and sponsored the development of local celebrations all across Canada. “Seed money” was distributed to promote popular and amateur activities organized by volunteer groups in hundreds of local communities. The same approach was also followed for the 1981 celebrations with the addition of fireworks displays in 15 major cities across the nation.
On October 27, 1982, July 1st which was known as “Dominion Day” became “Canada Day”.”
I disagree. It’s probably the ONLY way to spend Canada Day!
um, you mean other than a day to bbq and drink beer???
🙂
ali’s last blog post..what i’ve done in the last fifteen years…(sadly, David Beckham isn’t one of ‘em)
Next time…just take a deep breath and you should be able to sleep all night long. ha. ha.
=)
Ashmystir’s last blog post..That’s one doodle that can’t be undid
Sorry to hear your Canada Day sucked. Well, except for the 4 beers at the Taste. I’d make a call to the landlord if the pot smoke is getting to you. Any chance you could let him know and he could leave you out of it???? Or maybe tell him/her it is cigarette smoke???? Jeez, I’m soundling like a giant dweeb.
Sheri’s last blog post..It is 7:44 and All’s Quiet
I have never smoked pot (that wasn’t second hand smoke, THANKS DAD) in my life, or done any drugs for that matter.
Hmmm, what shape is that I see in the distance? Is that a square? LOL.
Raven’s last blog post..Arrrrggghhh…which translates to mini golf?
a little contact high from the kind bud…..ah, those were the days. oops…i mean..smoking pot is a bad, bad thing and i would never, ever do it..DAMN those random work drug tests.
Narc on ’em. (So to speak.)
Jen on the Edge’s last blog post..The work-at-home-mom with ADD
You totally got a contact high. Perfect for interviews.
Yea I’m coming up with nothing on the blog topics. Well I could describe my wacked out dream that involved my primary care doc wanting to date me and for some reason I brought MY MOM with. Needless to say that in the dream, like real life, she totally ruined the date.
girlplease’s last blog post..The IRS are a bunch of buttholes
Note: I never actually brought my mom on a date but she has a habit of totally ruining everything in my life at one time or another. So why not my dream?
girlplease’s last blog post..The IRS are a bunch of buttholes
On Canada Day, AS’s regular bar offers $2 Labatts. What else is there to know about it?
Laurel’s last blog post..Robots Make It All Better
I say tell the landlord. Its smoke free for a reason. I think you could say it anonymously if you don’t really want to be a 3rd grader.
JRM’s last blog post..Conversations You Wish You Never Overheard
I have no qualms about telling on people at my apartment complex. DO IT.
Rhi’s last blog post..Call me Annika
Ahhh… to tattle or not to tattle – that is the eternal question.
My guess is, if it really starts smelling up YOUR apartment and you can always smell the residual, you need to say something.
Lys’s last blog post..Rockin’ On My iPod This Morning…
OMG, I tried to read Kirsten’s description of Canada Day but it felt like homework. Or maybe I’m stoned, too.
thecoconutdiaries’s last blog post..I’ve Been A Very, Very, Very Bad Wife (and I should be punished!)
Try living with a pot smoker. Granted he didn’t do it inside the house or when the kids were awake, but he still did it. Tis one reason I kicked his ass out.
Kristie’s last blog post..I survived. Barely.
First, if you think the reason they are laying you off is bullshit, you should go to work stoned and give them a REAL reason to let you go. It might not work so well when trying to collect unemployment but it would sure make a great blog entry.
Second, tape a note to your neighbor’s door: Will you please stop smoking pot? Circle YES or NO.
Dingo’s last blog post..I’ll Make My Own Lemonade
@TheCoconutDiaries: Sorry bout that… didn’t want to miss any of the details, and you know them governmental types… very very WORDY LOL
Basically July 1st is a reason to shoot off fireworks and drink Labatt’s LOL
Dude (starting off a comment with that word seems very appropriate, no?)… can I have some of your Cheetos? I’m starving. And this 100 calorie kettle corn, while delish, is not filling.
And I’ll raise you one apartment filled with pot smoke with a concrete office filled with paint fumes. Huffing, yo.
The Muse’s last blog post..Round Robin
I got through college without ever trying pot thanks to random drug tests (peeing in a cup in front of someone: one of the many perks of being a college athlete). Then after I graduated I was like, well, I made it this long without ever trying it, why start now! Ha 🙂
The worst we have is our neighbors above us who smoke (cigarettes) and then throw their butts out which land on our balcony.
Katie’s last blog post..Summer is…
A former housemate had never even smelt pot smoke (that she knew of), much less smoked it. Fast forward to the Harley Davidson Road Show (I know, I know it was free, even funnier imagine three short-haired preppy looking girls in their capris & flip flops amongst all the leather…), the concert begins and all of the sudden I hear “What’s that smell? Is that some kind of clove cigarette?” We moved, quickly.
She was 32.
You’re “too tired to be funny”? I BEG TO DIFFER. That first paragraph made me laugh out loud.
(But not LOL, for I do not LOL.)
Canada Day is the day that Canada was…what’s the word…incorporated? No. Federated? Maybe. Um, It’s Canada’s BIRTHDAY.
And you guys don’t have boxing day? I did not know this.
But you DO have Target, so you win.
Angella’s last blog post..Honey Garlic Wings
I would be the same way and TOTALLY TELL ON THEM! It one thing to smoke it in your house but it’s something else entirely to have your windows open and force it on other people.
Oh, and I don’t think being a drunk would be held against you in your campaign…look at our current prez.
Sarah’s last blog post..Learning Is A Good Thing!
Being Canadian, I would argue that getting high is actually a pretty standard way to celebrate Canada Day.
Though if I were you, I’d be tattling on my neighbours so fast.
hillary’s last blog post..It Could Be Warm You See, A Statue Next To Me
I would do an anonymous tattle too. If the neighbors were smoking cigarettes (or burning copious amounts of incense) and it bothered you, it’d be the same thing. You don’t have to accept their second-hand smoke.
Even if it does help you sleep. 🙂
Evil Genius’s last blog post..A Little Chicken Humor
Your lease says no smoking at all? Well, then, duh, you’ve got a legal obligation to turn their asses is.
Ree’s last blog post..WW – Fast Times at Norwalk Ohio
You know I’ve never smoked pot, or tried any illegal drug ever? I feel like the moment to do it has passed. BYGONES.
slynnro’s last blog post..Effing people, ya know?
I’ve had those experiences a lot before, with the neighbours and the pot smoking. I’ve decided that I just let them know how I feel about it and let them make the choice from there. In my head, maybe they have no idea that others are exposed to their 2nd-hand smoke! Now that they know that I nkow they are breaking the rules, I hope that they will think twice. But, maybe not, and at least I’ll feel better about it.
Elizabeth’s last blog post..It’s all good
[…] Kristabella’s blog posts are best read without anything in your mouth that would not look good on your monitor or in your keyboard. It sneaks up on you – like that 7th 2nd glass of cabernet. And she’s famous for her Death is NOT an Option category and her expertise on National holidays. […]