I Just Love Saturday
Posted By Kristabella on June 15, 2008
I had this whole post planned to write today for Father’s Day. But then I realized I didn’t really want to be all Debbie Downer and ruin a special day for people who grew up with great dads. I figured most people wouldn’t care to read about my dead father who was a bit of a douchebag. Plus it is a post I’ve wanted to write for a really long time, but I just haven’t had the time or the energy to actually sit down and do it. Mostly because I’m afraid of what will come out as I type. And also, it is hot in my house and adding hot tears running down my face is no way to spend a Sunday evening.
So instead, I’m going to tell you about my boring weekend, in which I realized I am fat and I really need to stop with the excuses and just start eating better and working out.
The weekend was actually pretty uneventful. I got like one-third of the things done that I wanted to get accomplished this weekend. Thankfully, a few of the things I didn’t get around to involved spending large sums of money, so it is OK.
Saturday night I met a friend out at a bar on the South side. I work with her and we’ve been to this townie bar quite a few times because every time we go, we always have a blast and run into some of the most interesting characters in Chicago.
We usually meet another co-worker there who has been going there for so long she literally knows everyone there. She went to school with the owner.
On Saturday nights this bar has karaoke. Last time we were there, there was a whole mess of 20 year olds in the bar, having some sort of neighborhood reunion. We had a lot of fun looking at the pretty, young eye candy.
This past Saturday wasn’t much different. There were a lot of the locals, but there was also a bunch of young kids. And by young, I mean they looked like they just turned 21. (Which we learned later was in fact true when a guy told us he was 21 and three weeks. And here I was under the impression that we stopped counting our ages in weeks when we hit like three months old.)
The best thing about this place is the people watching, the great pizza and the cheap drinks. We always have a good time.
This Saturday night, I decided that I was going to give the karaoke a shot. I had enough liquid courage flowing through my bloodstream and the group seemed like a good group.
I decided on my stand by karaoke song, which is Baby Got Back. And, as always, I sang the hell out of the song. Until about halfway through where I get winded from SCREAMING into the mic and not really breathing and then saying a lot of words strung together.
I made the other ladies in my party get out on the dance floor and shake what their mamas gave them. I don’t do this song without a back-up group. It was awesome and everyone was dancing and it really got the party started.
So we spent the rest of the night dancing and drinking and chatting. It was great. At one point, one of the young-ins was bouncing up and down like he was on a pogo stick. He was literally bouncing off the walls. I decided that this kid was clearly high on something other than life. So I asked him.
Me: Excuse me young man, are you on cocaine?
Him: No. No drugs. I just love Saturday!
Me: Um, OK crazy druggie man.
As is par for the course, I didn’t get hit on. I actually had a bit of a semi-drunken break down about it after I got home. (At 4 AM!) Because the one lady I was with, who is older than I am, got hit on by a guy almost half her age. They exchanged numbers and I’m sure she’ll never go out with him because he’s too young. But he seemed nice.
Oh, I lie. I did get hit on. By a short, fugly man with a porn star moustache and a comb over. He FOLLOWED me out the door when we left to tell me, in a drunken slurring kind of way, that I was the most real and genuine person he’s ever seen. And that I don’t put on a facade or anything. (Which, he pronounced fuh-cod.) And all I could say was “thank you.” And then I walked ran away across four lanes of traffic.
Driving home I started wondering if this is what I’m destined for – taxis drivers and unattractive drunks in bars. Since those seem to be the only people who hit on me or approach me. Like I’m some ugly leper with only one eyeball.
Do I not get hit on because people aren’t looking for real and genuine? Like I’m too real right off the bat that I’m not even attractive or worth pursuing? Or are the only people who see this “realness” CREEPY GUYS THAT I DON’T WANT TO DATE?
Normally, it doesn’t bother me. I mean, especially at this bar where a lot of the regulars are older than my mom and don’t usually have all their teeth. But something about last night, where I was already feeling horribly self-conscious because I’ve put on so much weight and I’m unattractive and no one will even want to talk to me at BlogHer, made it a hundred times worse.
Now, I don’t actually think I will meet my future mate in a bar. I mean, those things generally don’t end with long-term commitments. I KNOW this. But last night, with the booze flowing, it was a BIG DEAL. And I was upset about it. Because I want what all women on the verge of spinsterhood want – no more cats and someone to settle down with. I want my happy ending. And sometimes when I’m already in that lower point, it doesn’t help when short people who don’t know it is fuh-sahd are my only options.
So don’t worry, I’m not going all melodramatic on your asses (although, so much for no Debbie Downer post). I am sure we all go through these low times in our lives.
And if you don’t struggle with things like this, don’t comment and tell me any of this because I will punch you in the face through the computer screen with my fat fist.
About the author
Keep in mind that I am a total stranger and that I have no reason to lie to you just so you feel comforted. That being said, I’d like to point out that
a.) You are NOT fat, and
b.) A lot of men are intimidated by strong, intelligent women. They are insecure little weenies and can’t get up the balls to face being rejected by someone they suspect may be better than them.
I didn’t figure that last one out until I finally hit a guy over the head and dragged him back to my cave. He explained that he had been interested for a long time, but was convinced that a gal like me must have better prospects.
Trust me. I’ve been there.
DUUUUDE, the part about being out at the bar is the story of my life! I say that because I want you to know that you’re not alone (Please remind me to tell you about ‘Charlie the Trucker’ via email). Everyone has low moments, and it sounds like that was yours. Don’t beat yourself up about it.
You gotta know that the whole relationship thing is all about timing, anyway. I am always tempted to punch the smug people who glow from the inside out from love, saying, “I just KNEW!” and then tell me I really need to find a guy like the one they are in love with IN THE FACE. Pah-leeze. It’s timing, plain & simple.
You just keep on being you… it’s gonna happen, and by God, he’ll know how to pronounce “facade”!!!
If that doesn’t make you feel better, please allow me to give you the number of any one of my married friends who are totally miserable. For real.
Jules
House of Jules
HouseofJules’s last blog post..Looking for something “outdoorsy” to do this weekend?
I always hate the “you’re so real” comments. It makes me feel as if people think I look like I don’t care about the fah-cod but I do! I’m just as shallow as the non-real girls! Fugly porn star moustached men with comb-overs do not have a chance with any “real” girls unless she’s a Real Doll.
Dingo’s last blog post..I Am?! I Am the Dog?!
Things like that used to happent to me ALL THE TIME when I was single – – ah, memories (BAD ones!).
I did not expect to find “true love forever” in a bar, but being approached by a nice, decent, worth-the-effort man would have been a nice change of pace!
And you know what? That is exactly what happened, surprisingly enough – – on a Tuesday night, in a neighborhood pub, 24 years ago. A nice, decent guy struck up a conversation with me, and we talked for hours. Here we are 24 years later, still talking for hours, with no end of conversation in sight.
It was so shocking to me to actually meet someone “decent” in a bar, I almost didn’t give him a chance – – it was that whole “you won’t find anyone good in a bar” attitude that was so pervasive, but I’m SO glad I did!
So hang in there, KJ. There ARE nice, decent ones out there!
Liz J in Central Illinois’s last blog post..A Bad, Bad Day
My dad is still alive although I haven’t spoken to him in more than 10 years. He’s a total coward-ass. I thought about writing about him as well but didn’t want to sit through the experience. So, I get that part.
I also get the frustration of feeling like you’ll never find someone. Not that I gave myself much time (eloping at 21) I can remember countless night that I was the odd girl out when we all went to the club or the bar. (yes, I had a fame ID)
Just have faith that it will happen and keep being the wonderful, beautiful, HELL-arious person that you are. And then…when you least expect it, expect it.
And BlogHer? Are you kidding me? You’re going to be Ms. Popular. I just hope you’ll talk to me!
Kimberly/ MommaK’s last blog post..Bridal Shower Invitation Addendum
Every girl wants to get hit on in a bar! I mean, by a cute guy. You’re so not alone in that feeling. I wish I was going to BlogHer so we could hang out!
1) You know you are going to be talked to @ BlogHer. I am going to be all over you like white on rice. We have discussed this. LOL.
2) You can meet a nice guy in a bar. I met Wills in a bar. Shocked the shit out of me, but it does happen.
3) Mae is right, most guys are frequently AFRAID of “real” women, because MOST guys are losers. That doesn’t mean that all of them are though, there are exceptions!
4) The question is why haven’t you found anyone that likes you yet, it’s why haven’t you found anyone that’s worthy of you yet. You deserve more than just your average schmuck and that takes time.
5) I hear ya on the dad thing.
Raven’s last blog post..me right now
You are way too special and (insert every exceptional adjective known to man)to settle for just any douchebag. The man who wins your heart has to be special and have quite a few exceptional adjectives to describe him, too. Not as many as describe you because that would be impossible. He’s out there, honey. I’m positive of it.
YOU ARE NOT FAT, dammit. And just you wait. One night, you’ll be up doing Karaoke and asking everyone to come up on stage and shake their money-makers and Prince Charming will jump up there and shake his ass, too. (Because he also doesn’t have a fuh-cod.) Then you will go out for a plate of bacon and the rest is history.
Also, I’m fairly certain that “Saturday” is the new street name for Cocaine.
The Over-Thinker’s last blog post..Footwear Sundays: Wedding Edition
Actually, my sister DID meet her husband in a bar. BUT! This was Not Necessarily A Good Thing in the eyes of us, her family (she’s FINE with him; we don’t like him).
I’m not going to jump on the “you’re not fat” bandwagon, because you feel like you feel, right? And I’m not going to tell you to DO something about it, because that feels worse. What’ll I say is … when you meet the right one, he won’t care what you weigh. He’ll care that you are YOU.
I’m so sorry that it got to you that night. I’ve been there; it SUCKS.
moo’s last blog post..drowning
I thought I was going to become a cat lady. I lived through 2 years straight of horrible fix-ups, blind dates, and bar hopping. Only the creepiest guy in the room would even ever approach me. Then I met my husband (just in time as I was becoming bitter) It’ll happen. It’ll be random. It’ll be when you’re not looking. You’ll probably hit him with your car or something.
Also, don’t feel bad, my runaway dad’s a dick too!
Sarah’s last blog post..Nostalgia Week–Happily Ever After
I understand you on the father thing.
I can count on one hand the number of times I have been hit on in my entire life. Sad.
-R-‘s last blog post..Books and More Names
OK, I just saw you, and you are NOT fat!
And boys are dumb. They just are. I mean, there is no explicable reason for the way they behave sometimes and it can be hard not to take it personally, but honestly? They can just be dumb sometimes. And then all of a sudden they wake up and stop being dumb.
And I have plenty of miserable married friends, too, if you run out of Jules’. 🙂
Swishy’s last blog post..Scenes from Printers Row
I do not have the demeanor to be picked up in a bar. It’s not the place to find “just like to have nice conversation” guys. But where do you find them? I am currently struggling with the same thing, and it’s getting me down, like a lot.
As for the dad thing, I’ve got a great one. I know I’m really lucky, and your story wouldn’t rain on mine. Sorry to hear that you didn’t get dealt a great had in that department. That blows.
Noelle’s last blog post..UPDATE
I am not going to tell you that anything can happen, or that you are a great person (which you totally are- and if I was going to Blogher we would so party)… only because I get so annoyed when people tell me that. Or when they say, “Don’t worry. You’ll meet someone when you least expect it.”… at 30+ years old, is there ever a time when we don’t freaking expect it???
Anyways, right there with you. It sucks. But I guess we can always hope?! 🙂
DeeMarie’s last blog post..Did You Miss Me??
When you find the man of your dreams – and I am a person that does believe there is someone out there for everyone – didn’t my Dad say he would make you crepes on your wedding day? Don’t forget that you are an honorary sis and daughter in my family. 🙂 As for the fat thing, I struggle with this daily too and wonder where the self-confident “me” went. I had my mini-breakdown last Thursday. So I guess all I can say is that you are not alone. And then I talked stuff out a bit with my sis and she reminded me that I’m a lovely person no matter what weight and that I should concentrate on that and all the people that love me. That made me feel a bit better so I now pass her advice on to you.
i have NEVER gotten hit on. EVER.
feel better now?
ali’s last blog post..Rockstar Hotel, Rockstar Style….
With men in bars, you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. On Saturday night, I totally went back and forth between dreading the sleazy, meat markety guys talking to me and wondering why the sleazy, meat markety guys were only talking to the other girls! Why do I even want attention from sleazy, meat markety guys? (Well, they were cute in a preppy, post-collegey way!)
Laurel’s last blog post..Roommate Week: Part Five
stoopid boys don’t know better. You’re gonna have to get the ole club and wack them in the head.
Then you can sit on them. be like that big broad in the B.C. comics. She’s cool!
And btw…you’re NOT fat!!
=)
Ashmystir’s last blog post..mixed nuts monday…
Dating sucks. I had a similar type weekend feeling sorry for my single self. I think it’s because my ex got married this past weekend and I’m a way better person than he is. WTF? I’m really trying not to become bitter and jaded…but it’s rough.
So I feel your pain. And sometimes hearing how wonderful you are and how you’re going to meet the right person just doesn’t cut it. Even when you know in your heart that it’s true. (It’s like hurry up already!!)
So even though it won’t cut it…let me tell you that even though we’ve never met in person, I think you’re pretty great. You’re freakin’ hilarious, smart and talented. And you’ll meet someone who appreciates all of those things. In the meantime…drink up and make fun of the yucky guys that hit on you!
And if you’re fat…I’m a house so shut up. 🙂
I had my most boobalicious, cleavage-y top on this weekend and no compliments (hmph!). Then someone told me that it was gay pride weekend. (doh!) The next time you are in a bar, go up to guys and asking “If my left leg was Christmas and my right leg was New Year’s would you visit me between the holidays?”. I can’t guarantee you will get hit on more, but you will definately laugh more!
Jenn’s last blog post..It’ll Be Our Little Secret
From all the pictures of you that I have seen, I don’t think you are fat. I do, however, totally understand feeling like you are fat, no matter what anyone else says. On that front, my only suggestion (like you care!) would be: get someone to workout with to keep you motivated.
I agree with everyone else that said men are often intiminated by strong, outgoing women. You will find someone, and they will totally appreciate you for your awesome personality and loveliness.
I only wish I was going to Blogher-you will totally be a hit, and I am sure so many of your readers will have a wonderful time with you!
Danielle-Lee’s last blog post..Why I hate my Daisy-Mae lately
Hey – at least you left the apartment on Saturday – I spent ALL day Saturday on the couch hungover because I was up late playing Mah-jongg and swilling wine Friday night, and I was in bed by 9:00 PM.
Seriously, when did I become a 65 year old Chinese woman?
Men in bars are just dumb. Why would you want someone with “Fuh-cod” anyway?
There is someone for everyone and we’ve ALL been there. Even super hot girls…I mean, look at Denise Richards–she married a slimeball guy who hired hookers. Look at Pam Anderson–she married Tommy Lee–a walking STD. Look at Amy Winehouse and that runny mascara, basketcase is married.
I know dating is tough and it sucks. But somewhere you’ll be ga-ga over someone and he’ll ga-ga all over you too.
Ok that came out wrong.
girlplease’s last blog post..Wig out
I hate to tell you this, but I’m sharing a room with you and I actually don’t plan on talking to you at BlogHer. SORRY!
Actually, I feel this way all the time, except about meeting female friends instead of getting hit on. I can’t make new friends. I’m broken! And I felt this way all the time before I got married. Because I graduated from a college where people were engaged when they were 21. I got married at 25 and I was an old maid.
AND you are so NOT FAT. However, take it from the Exercise Advocate. Eating well and exercising NEVER makes you feel bad about yourself.
slynnro’s last blog post..In which I discuss something other than my thighs.
Sounds like you had a shitty night. But, at least you’re not a snotty, mouthbreathing mess in a continuous NyQuil induced haze like myself at the moment!
And I would totally talk to you at Blogher! If I was going!
Erin’s last blog post..Summer Cold
Your happy ending? Is that meeting Prince Charming? Remember Prince Charming used to be a fucking frog.
But don’t listen to me. I’m a bitter old woman.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Just Lazy
Darlin, if I wasn’t married, I’d hit on you. And I’m a girl. 😉
Ree’s last blog post..Need Your Help
Well, okay, so most of the bloggers I hit on are girls. snort.
Ree’s last blog post..Need Your Help
Try having a sister who already has an awesome boyfriend and then goes out and gets hit on by everyone at the bar.
Luckily she’s my #1 so I don’t hate her for it, haha.
I think I come across as shy even if I try to cover that up and be outspoken and crazy at a bar. or they’re intimidated by my beauty. Haha.
Scarlet’s last blog post..I Didn’t Understand
My dad is still alive and has successfully ruined the past 3 holidays. So yeah, I didn’t want to write a post about him either – I get that.
Cathy’s last blog post..Where the Rope Ends
I did not write about my dad either. It would not be pretty, and he reads my site, so I just let the day saunter on by.
(While spoiling my hubby of course.)
Angella’s last blog post..Pierced
I’m with you on the dead-beat dad post. My dad is a pathological liar who likes to play the pity card. So I just let him by totally ignoring the holiday most years. What can I say – he taught me well.
And btw, I would TOTALLY hit on you if I met you in a bar (and I was a guy … or lesbian, I guess).
rye’s last blog post..Wii is watching
1. You’re not fat.
2. Regarding this: “I mean, those things generally don’t end with long-term commitments.”–Not true–I found Mr. Manic in a bar.
3. There were two songs I requested the DJ NOT play at our wedding. Baby Got Back was one of them. White Wedding was the other.
4. Feel Better!
Manic Mommy’s last blog post..Winners for the Prego Dad Books
I think you are victim to low hanging fruit syndrome. Guys don’t want to work harder to get the girls who are really great, who have substance, who know what they want; they want the easy way out and the low hanging fruit. Besides, I hardly think you’ll go to BlogHer and have people not want to talk to you!
I’m know I’m behind on comments and you’ve already said so, but take care and feel better.
Setting aside the “Not getting hit on” issue, it sounds like you had a great time with your friends, and most of the people in the townie bar! Sounds like a pretty fair Saturday night to me…
Coast Rat’s last blog post..BLOND GIRL’S SURPRISE TWENTY-FIRST BIRTHDAY PARTY!