Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on November 7, 2011

Oh yes, I am continuing with the Brady Bunch theme. And this post has nothing to do with wanting to marry my dentist, even if he did look like Dr. Vogel. He doesn’t. He looks like Larry David.

So remember when this happened? The verdict was “your tooth is shit and you are going to need it pulled and get an implant.”

So what did I do? I decided I would ignore it because my dentist cemented the crown back on temporarily and it would last a little while longer. I just wouldn’t eat gummy candy on that side of my mouth.

Done and done!

*makes hand wiping gesture to the computer screen*

I finally bit the bullet and went for a consult a few weeks ago. I knew this was going to be pricey. And drawn out. I figured it would be best to get the first part done this year. That way I could plan ahead for the rest of the procedures with my flexible spending account next year. And/or sell my wilted eggs.

I’m having my tooth pulled on November 18. And then he’s doing a bone graft. And lots of other things that cost a lot of money, aren’t covered by insurance and are necessary because I will need my mouth, teeth and jaw for a lot more years, I hope. (He kept telling me he knew I was going to live into my 90s.)

AND! I’m not getting put under! I’m only doing nitrous because to get put all the way under would have cost me $700 more! Which is ridiculous! I will just deal with the tugging and the pulling and the sawing and all the other unpleasant shit. Hmmmm, maybe I should spend the extra to go under.

The lovely Daisy is going to be a peach and pick me up after surgery. So I full on intend for her to tweet and video tape me in my medically-induced haze. I’d be disappointed if she didn’t.

There is a problem in all of this. Besides being awake for the whole thing and the whole “tooth pulling costing as much as a mortgage payment” thing. Oral surgeon Larry David says there is a bit of an infection in the root of my tooth. (It’s a tooth that had a root canal on it like 20 years ago, so I don’t feel anything.) So in preparation, Surgeon Larry David wants me to take an antibiotic to make sure the infection is all gone.

No big deal, right?

That’s what I was thinking. Until I woke up in a panic in the middle of the night the other night remembering what happened the last time I took antibiotics.

The Kristin Johnsons! POOP IN THE FRIDGE.

So now I’ve got myself all worked up. But I’m going to plan ahead with probiotics now. That way I’ll be all good once I start the antibiotics on Friday.

Because nothing says attractive like a missing tooth and shitting your pants.

#spinstertweets

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, Dental DAMN, Medical Mishaps, NaBloPoMo, Spinsterville Here I Come | 6 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on November 6, 2011

Thanks to all of you who entered my giveaway!

I picked three winners randomly and they are………

Jen!

Mary!

And Fronz!

Congrats everyone! I’ll email you all your free codes for the cards!

Category: Contests, NaBloPoMo, Sponsored | 2 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on November 5, 2011

Do you ever have an awesome day and it is unexpected and it just makes you smile from the inside?

That was my day today. Even though I got little sleep, was up before the sun and had to take two children with me on the bus and train, it ended up being one of the best days ever.

My brother and SIL ran a 5k this morning downtown. And since they had to be there at zero dark thirty, the whole family ended up staying with me at my house on Friday night. On top of that, my mom was taking Skyler to see Pinkalicious this morning, which meant we all had to be downtown early. Much earlier than Auntie is used to getting up on a Saturday.

But it was fantastic! We had a very interesting bus ride, with a very smelly person. It was so smelly, I had to get us off the bus about 14 blocks before I had intended. But it was THAT bad. And we were sitting in the way back of the bus. Skyler and Noah got the public transit experience in the fullest!

After dropping Skyler off with my mom for the play, Noah and I were on our own for an hour. We decided to go to the Hershey store and get some hot chocolate.

We were joined by my brother and SIL and it was time to pick up Sklyer after the play. We walked around the American Girl Place store (holy crowds and overstimulaton, Batman!) and the Lego store and then we went to lunch.

We ended up at Gino’s East for some deep dish pizza and some beers. And it was just an awesome day to spend with family.

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, All in the Family, Chi-town, NaBloPoMo | 4 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on November 4, 2011

As I type this up, I have to keep taking breaks to alternately yawn and then wipe the drool off my keyboard. In other words, I’m tired.

See, this morning, I had to get into work earlier to work an event. I had to be downtown, butt in seat, coffee and breakfast in hand, at Union Station, no later than 7:30 AM. And in case you didn’t know, 7:30 AM is really fucking EARLY.

We don’t change the clocks until this coming weekend. Which means that when I got up at 5:30 and then left the house to walk the streets of my hood to the bus stop at 6:30, it was pitch black. Oh! And when I got off the train downtown and walked into Starbucks it was also still dark.

Is it just me, or does it feel like we should have changed clocks like three weeks ago? I don’t know why it feels like this. On most days I’m surprised it is already November and I wonder where the time went. On top of that, we’ve had an actual fall this year and have had pretty decent weather overall. Shit, it’s going to be in the mid-60s this weekend. In November. IN CHICAGO! We didn’t even get a lick of snow that the East Coast got last weekend!

(Oh how Mother Nature is going to smite me for those sentences.)

I’m sure part of this feeling about the time change is because I get up earlier now than I used to at my old job. And since I started new job at the end of March when the weather is making another turn, but this time for the warmer and sunnier, I’ve never done this commute to work at this time of day at this time of year.

At my last job, I got up at 8, left at 8:30 and was in at 9. I slept until 8! On weekdays! How awesome is that? Well, not awesome when you hated the job you had as much as I did.

But now! I like my job! I still get in at 9, but since it takes longer to get in, I’m up before 7. Well, most days. The days I don’t have to wash my hair I push the snooze a few more times. But even for the last month the sun hasn’t been rising until after 7 AM. And that is just unacceptable.

Yes, yes, I’m aware that in a month it will be dark when I get up and dark when I get home. And that SUCKS. I do hate leaving the office when it is dark. But I’m still looking forward to the time change because it really does feel like my internal clock is all messed up.

In sunshiney news, I found out that I’ll be moving to a different floor at work in two weeks. And with that move, I’m getting a cube along the wall. The wall of WINDOWS. So while it will be dark in the morning and night, and we’ll have a lot of dreary days coming up in winter, I get to come in every day and look outside at the Chicago skyline.

And that’s definitely worth getting up in the dark for.

And this ends the stream of consciousness portion of this week’s NaBloPoMo posts.

Category: BORE-ring, Chi-town, Land of Random, NaBloPoMo, Weather dot com | 6 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on November 3, 2011

You guys, this is two Brady Bunch references in the span of three days. This has got to be some sort of record. Now I have a theme for NaBloPoMo! Teri will be so proud!

It’s turning colder here in Chicago. That means that air is getting drier and static cling becomes something you once heard about in a magazine to something you fear might actually electrocute you. My cats don’t want to be petted on the off chance I pet them and then touch their nose and their fur stands on end like they just licked the socket. (They really need to stop doing that.)

Anyway, with the dryness, I get itchy and lotion becomes my best friend. But this year, I’ve had a new ailment that has come with the drier air and that is that my nose is hurty. And not like the outside of my nose like those weird claymation things in the Puffs Plus commercials. It’s the inside of my nose that feels like someone took an Exacto knife to it while I slept.

My remedy for this lately is that I either use a Q-tip to coat the inside of my nose with antibacterial stuff or Vaseline. This usually helps for a few days. Then it will get super damp here (like today) and I’m OK for another few days.

But this is just early November. I haven’t even turned on the heat in my house yet. What the hell am I going to do when it’s the middle of January and my nose falls off??

Do I invest in humidifier?

Oh, and don’t suggest the Neti Pot. That thing, while magical, gave me the world’s worst post-nasal drip. And really, that makes my dowry even less attractive to potential suitors.

Any help, smart people?

Category: A Dash of the Crazy, Halp, NaBloPoMo | 9 Comments »
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