Dive Bars
Posted By Kristabella on March 9, 2010
My weekend last weekend wasn’t just contained to meeting my little leprechaun. (I was just going to write “follow your nose!” and then realized that was Toucan Sam.)
ANYWAY, after my interesting Friday night, I again put my big girl panties on (around 2 PM) and got ready to head out to a pub crawl they were having over near Wrigley. It was for charity! And I’m all about drinking beer for charity! Or for any reason!
We had an OK time, but the pub crawl was crowded and the bars on Southport aren’t really big enough to support a pub crawl. So we ditched it about three bars in and went to a local neighborhood bar. Where we played pool and got colored in chalk. We left there and hopped to another bar and ate pizza from some stranger’s party and then left. We ended up at the craziest dive bar I’ve been to in my life. And I’ve been to some doozys!
This bar is actually closer to my house on the North side. My friend Melissa had read about it and wanted to try it out. She said it was an Eastern European bar. And I was all “whatever that means.” I will never say that again in my life.
We first walked in and the place is small and pitch black. I don’t think there are any lights in there at all. We take a seat at the bar, which is more like a chin rest because it comes up that high. It was like being a little kid at the bar! Complete with bendy straws in our drinks!
I’m pretty sure we were the only people in there who spoke English as a first language. There was some woman singing (karaoke?) in a different language. And there were people sitting around tables, intently listening to her (or staring at us).
My friends got up to go to the restroom and the bartender handed me a plastic cup filled with water and told me that I can smoke in there, but just to drop the ashes in the cup. I don’t smoke, but my two friends do, and let me tell you, they were over the moon! I kind of was too because they go out to smoke and then I have to sit at the bar alone and Twitter. Now we could all be together! Huzzah for bars who break the law!
When they were in the bathroom, I also noticed a few kids. I was a bit out of it since we had been drinking since about 3 and it was, at that point, after 10. So we commented on the fact that there were kids! IN A BAR! You have a baby! IN A BAR!
And then the little one, who couldn’t have been more than 5, got up to go sing! In a bar! At 11 PM!
Right before we left, some man came up and gave us each a flower, a single carnation each. To remember our night at this bar, I guess. All I know is we’re SO going back!
(Flower squished because it has been sitting under a pile of crap on the counter since Saturday night.)
So tell me, do you have any good dive bar stories? Because I probably have enough for a weekly feature!
About the author
There’s a bar about 20 minutes from me that is just plain scary. Not only do they show porn on all the tv’s (we’re not talking Skinimax here), but they have a stripper pole on the “side stage” and a midget to dance upon it! In a black leather costume! With a whip!
It was the most surreal bar experience I’ve ever had. Also, awkward.
.-= Denora´s last blog ..The Life List – Part 2 =-.
I have NO dive bar stories, but “follow your nose” had my laughing the whole way through this post.
.-= Angella´s last blog ..Blue Monday =-.
The dive bar story in my book? Was basically totally true: no glass allowed, wet t-shirt/naked contest with a $10 prize, Cotton Eyed Joe played once upon the hour wherein the patrons would dance on the bar. Ah, Wisconsin.
You must tell me the name of this bar.
Um, that is a pretty amazing story. I need to know where this dive bar is! I was in NYC for Valentine’s Day and a bunch of my husband’s friends were there too for a conference. On Valentine’s Day we did a dive bar crawl and ended up in some pretty amazing spots. The second-to-last stop was this crazy bar that was the size of a NY apartment living room (i.e., not very big at all), the drinks were very cheap, and at the end of the night some guy gave me a Valentine’s day card; the kind that little kids give each other. It was awesome, because @ that point I was almost 5 months pregnant. I am a wild tiger!
Now, I feel all left out because I don’t have any dive bar stories.
At a dance club once two lesbians flashed their boobs at me and then asked me to partake in a threesome…
.-= Deidre´s last blog ..How about we NOT draw swastikas anymore? Just an idea, I am throwing to the people. =-.
Oh, KJ. Three words. Merchant’s. Saloon. Oakland.
My favorite dive bar is for sure Margie’s over on Lincoln. Natalie and I went there a couple years ago and were the only two people in the bar on a saturday night. The bartender was about my grandpa’s age, and the place looked and smelled like my grandparent’s basement. Then a woman with a mullet who called herself “Corona Sue” challenged Natalie to a game of pool and creamed Natalie! She then bought us a beer. Oh and the juke box was broken and the only CD it would play was Alanis Morisette’s Jagged Little Pill.
No joke, “go on pub crawl” is on my life list.
This sounds *precisely* like the bars in my old neighborhood where I lived after college. Basically, elderly men would be playing dominoes out front at 1 AM, and diaper-clad babies would roam around inside. You know. With the alcohol. And drunk people.
My parents were SOOOOO happy when I moved.
.-= metalia´s last blog ..I’ll Call This "Oscar Pop Quiz," But Really, This is More About My Inability to Turn Down a Dress-Up Excuse. =-.
The bar where I met my husband was very, very scary, but not in a fun way.
.-= -R-´s last blog ..At Least It’s Not Sweet Sixteen =-.
wait a minute…
there are people that actually use google wave?
I swear I thought that shit died out.
.-= alimartell´s last blog ..It *May* Even Have Training Wheels. =-.
That bar sounds like something out of an indie flick
.-= Sensibly Sassy´s last blog ..Stay Tuned…Or Not =-.
A.) I don’t remember any flowers being handed out. And B.) how were you even sober enough to take a pic of yourself with it tucked behind your ear. I was out of commission all day Sunday after that.
I work in a dive bar and let me tell you -I’ve got plenty of stories that I could share! I would tonight but I’m just too tuckered out – recouping from St. Patty’s day’s festivities..Anyhoodle -I’ll be back to share! But, Dive Bars rock – and? the drinks won’t break your budget!
.-= Jill´s last blog ..Just a few things I learned today. =-.
Gotta love Chicago. I, on the other hand, live in a medium-sized city somewhere within a 3 hour radius of Chicago that doesn’t have a dive bar worthy of mention. Actually, my friends and I used to frequent a dive called simply “The Brew” back in the day. The drinks were strong and cheap as hell and the entertainment was your fellow patrons.
.-= Allie´s last blog ..It’s Not All Gin and Lime-Colored Rainbows, Kids =-.
Oooh, I love! dive bars. My favorite in Portland is one called the Low Brow Lounge and they not only have a super dark lounge area and cheap drinks, but they also have great snacky food and multiple old-school pinball machines, and three booths next to a window which makes for perfect late-night people watching. Every time we walk into the Low Brow we are staying until the close, period.
.-= Kerri Anne´s last blog ..Good Things: Unhappy Hipsters =-.