Panic! At The Unemployment Office

Posted By on October 22, 2008

Since I’ve joined the BlogHer ad network, I have had this weird obsession with coming up with crazy blog titles just to see them show up in other people’s sidebars.

Look, I am unemployed and I have to get entertainment from anywhere I can. And this kind of entertainment is FREE! Do not judge me.

So, last week I got a call from some woman who found my resume online and figured I would be a good fit for some position. I came to find out it was a staffing company who had a temporary opening for an office manager role at a marketing design firm. They needed someone for two months while some woman went out on maternity leave.

After the phone call, me, myself and I had a real come-to-Jesus meeting about my job situation. Me reminded all of us that we’re still OK financially and that we have unemployment money coming in. Myself figured it might be worth it to go in and hear what this woman has to say, since it isn’t like anyone else is knocking down our door. I, on the other hand, have jumped into full-blown pessimistic mode and am convinced that I will never find a job and OMG, I will be living in a paper box down by the river and did you know it is almost WINTER? I will have to wear winter boots made from newspaper! I will have to shop at the HOBO store for sure! Hopefully they take containers of urine as a form of payment.

The three of us kind of came to some sort of middle ground, and I went on this interview today. My gut didn’t want to go either, but these days I can never tell if it is because in my gut I know it is a bad idea or if my gut really just doesn’t want to shower, put on make-up and leave the house. It’s weird, but those two feelings are similar in my gut.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have gone. My appointment was for 11 this morning. I was there early and started to fill out the paperwork. If you’ve never been to a staffing agency, the paperwork is a bitch. They ask for 17 references and make you fill out all the stuff that is on your resume on some sheet BY HAND. I do not write things out anymore. That is what keyboards are for! I knew, as I was filling this repetitive info out, that this place was never going to find anything for me and this cramp in my hand would never feel vindicated!

Around 11:20 or so, I Twittered that I had been waiting for 20 minutes. I was about ready to leave. It is one thing to wait, but no one came out to talk to me. NO ONE! Not a “sorry we’re running late” or a “So-and-So will be with you shortly.” NOTHING.

FINALLY, at 11:40 the recruiter lady came to get me. FORTY MINUTES LATE. Because I was already irritated that I even went (I even promised gut a Chipotle burrito for lunch for mistrusting his feeling that this would be a waste of time), I told the woman that I was irritated. I said “you realize it is 11:40 and I’ve been sitting out there for 40 minutes, right? And this interview was supposed to be at 11?” She was all “no it was 11:30” (which is a load of hooey, I tell you, HOOEY). And then she said something, that maybe I was supposed to be impressed with, “well, I’m the owner and I have to do payroll.” THEN DON’T SCHEDULE INTERVIEWS AT THAT TIME! Payroll does not sneak up on you! It comes on a very regular schedule. THAT YOU ESTABLISH!

Because I was so irritated, I barely answered her questions and kept constantly glaring over at her computer screen, which I could see was on CNN. NOT ON PAYROLL! And since it was a small office, I had seen her around 11:20 or so chit-chatting with one of the other women in the office about Sarah Palin’s expensive wardrobe. SO RUDE!

It got even worse. I have a feeling she only brought me in because of my job at the 49ers. Which, I’m fine with. It has never gotten me in the door for an interview before (I know! Surprising!), so I’ll take it. But this woman was a huge Bears fan. And once placed someone over at the Chicago Blackhawks office, so therefore she knew EVERYTHING there was to know about how sports teams were run.

Let me tell you, nothing irritates me more than people who think they know what it is like to work in sports. Yes, it is cool. But guess what? That coolness wears off after awhile and then it is a job. And it has some awesome perks. And I loved my time with the 49ers and it was a great experience and I met a lot of great people. But working in sports has a lot of shitty aspects too. And there are a lot of politics in sports and sexism and all sorts of not fun things. So unless you’ve experienced it, don’t talk like you know what it is like. We are a fraternity. And you, recruiter lady, so are not a card-carrying member.

So I basically left the meeting feeling like I showered and put on a suit so I could take the train down to the Loop to get lunch and some Dunkin Donuts coffee. It wasn’t worth it. (OK, the coffee was totally worth it.) I’d be surprised if I heard anything from them, if they will have any positions open that I am a fit for. I’m crossing my fingers, but I’m not optimistic. Myself and Me, they are optimistic. Too bad I have supreme rule and I’m the pessimistic one.

But it started me thinking. And thinking led to panicking. I don’t have any offers on the table. And after next week, it is November. Which means that the holidays are right around the corner. And no one hires during the holidays. Which means I’ll more than likely be unemployed until 2009. And that is a scary fucking thought.

Which means in my head, I’m heading down the path that I am so hoping to avoid, which is taking a job I don’t want. Taking a job I will hate, just because I have to pay the bills, and then looking for a job again in the near future. To me, that’s scarier than being unemployed well into 2009. That thought makes me want to cry, buckets and buckets of wine tears.

I’m forcing myself to stay positive, though. There is something out there for me. And maybe I will, in a few months, have to take some temp jobs before I figure it all out. At least if I don’t like those jobs, I know it won’t be forever. Everything will work itself out and I will eventually, much to my nap-loving, sleeping-in-daily self’s dismay, have to go back to showering every day and dressing in real clothes, clothes whose names do not start with “sweat” nor “tee”. I know I will have to go back to having conversations with people and not just cats.

Until then, I have wine club wine to drink and tubs of ice cream to devour. And that is something Me, Myself and I can ALL agree upon.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


28 Responses to “Panic! At The Unemployment Office”

  1. LarryLilly says:

    I have been laid off from more jobs than a hooker with STD.

    Take the job. Any job, its easier to find a job when you have a job.

    I know, you heard that one before, but its true.

    And you think that 99% of the world are doing jobes that they love so much that colorful unicorns fly out their orifice(s)

    I like my job, yeah, I get to personally screw the companies that have been screwing the earth. But what would i like to be doing? Working a sailboat off Tahiti. So I have to make adjustments, like no french topless women on said boat with me.

    Suck it in, and besides you need to consider that while you are employed at a company you might not like, in the meantime you can drive some person there freaking nutz.

    That alone should make up for the pain and suffering.

    Ya think?

    LarryLillys last blog post..Great, now I am being told I am a woman

  2. Mahnee says:

    I think the state of unemployment allows you to wait it out a bit and find something that seems like a good fit. If you have to take temp jobs, so be it. But if all your multiple personalities tell you it’s not for you, listen to atleast one of them.

    Say hi to the cats for me.

  3. Don’t get discouraged. Maybe you can start selling your bodily fluids. I hear you can make a good buck for plasma.

    Dutchess of Kickballs last blog post..Vote for Schnutton

  4. Ugh, RUDENESS. I would have smashed that lady’s computer right off her desk and yelled “PAYROLL MY ASS!”

    Okay, fine, I wouldn’t have done that. But I would have WANTED to.

    nancypearlwannabes last blog post..Testing… Testing…

  5. Raven says:

    Dude, did you go to high school with that chick when she was hugely fat and you were the Queen of Corn? Did you perhaps call her Polka Dot and not recognize that she had lost a lot of weight and changed totally? That sounds exactly like Hope Floats!

    Ravens last blog post..semi-homemade

  6. moo says:

    I have no words. Only hugs. And wine.

    moos last blog’s getting a little ridiculous

  7. Elle Charlie says:

    I love the title of this post!

    True, payroll is a regularly scheduled event. If she’s the boss, she should be a better employee.

    Unemployment is so scary. I feel the same way as you do – do I take a job I don’t want, or continue to hold out? Will Hubs and I have to give up the dog because we can’t afford to keep him? (He’s been much better behaved lately so that’s no longer a comforting thought…)

    Elle Charlies last blog post..Ripe for the pickin’

  8. Amy says:

    ewwwwww that’s so rediculously unprofessional. I hated temp agencies, except for the one I really liked (even when I was out of work for AN ENTIRE MONTH.) I really hope you find something before ’09, and that it’s not something you have to take just to pay the bills…

    Amys last blog post..A misprint

  9. Janice says:

    Ack. You have brought forward thoughts previous buried under my bed. I am going to be unemployed till 2009… I will have to cut off my hair to get my boyfriend a Christmas present (darn it, forgot I already cut it all off it that ok-everything-will-be-fine-we-will-just-start-all-over-unemloyment-phase).
    Seriously, I have worked 8 or 9 different places in my career and this is my second layoff (although the first I was also getting my MBA and had no mortgage) and me and myself are just not willing to go back to something I hate. I just can’t do it. Too much of my life is invested in a job and I need something that, even if I don’t love it, I don’t hate it. So while I drives me crazy (hence being banished to under the bed) I am holding out. Wanna share money saving tips? 🙂

    Janices last blog post..Oh the fashion torture

  10. Noelle says:

    Oh man, I really don’t want to lose my job. But if I do, I want to work in a capacity where I help other people get jobs. Because I know that I am so much nicer.

    And the sports industry sounds a lot like the film industry. Only interesting if you’re not actually working there.

    Noelles last blog post..This Depression’s gonna be great!

  11. Marguerite says:

    Been there, hated it, hope you find the right thing soon! In the meantime…

  12. Lori says:

    I’m sorry you are going through this. While it would be great to not have to work until you find a job you are absolutely in love with – maybe you can find just a tolerable one to get you by in the mean time? I’m with LarryLilly on believing that it’s always easier to look for a job when you already have one.

  13. -R- says:

    I would have been so annoyed that she called you for an interview with no point AND kept you waiting. I like the Hope Floats theory mentioned above. And at least you did get some good coffee.

    -R-s last blog post..Conspiracy Babies

  14. Rhi says:

    Yes, I think sports is also like the travel industry. Which is not exciting.

    Rhis last blog post..Dear Body Temperature,

  15. ali says:

    you WILL find something.
    maybe mcd’s is hiring. it might be worth the drive to oak brook 🙂

    alis last blog post..I went to bovine university and all i brought back was this lousy blog post…

  16. AMEN on working in sports! Although it is cool to have the too-shirt outfielder walk past and wink or the hockey goalie literally drop his mouth guard while gawking at the cheerleaders on ice, there are so many sad, sad things you’re privvy to that takes the twinkle off that little star real quick.

    thecoconutdiariess last blog post..Breasts

  17. Darcey says:

    Dude, I feel your frustration so much.

    When I left my newspaper sales job (which I was so miserable at, there were times I drove all the way into work, only to break down into tears in the parking lot, call in sick, and drive back home – just because I couldn’t face another day at that office), I had no other prospects. Nothing. I refused to move back home, but I couldn’t find another job.

    I grudgingly called several recruiters just to get on their watch list. And then I was called in for a temp job at a luxury car company’s HR department as a coordinator. I so didn’t want to take the job. But I went to the interview anyway, sat down with 2 HR people (one that worked with the recruiter and one that was my would-be boss), and knew that I would hate the job.

    I ended up not getting it. I was torn – hi, no money, but hi, misery, right? That same week, I got a call from my recruiter, saying that the HR lady who worked with her wanted me to come back in for another opening — in their marketing communications department. RIGHT UP MY ALLEY. I nailed the interview, started the following Tuesday, and worked there for 4 months for the contract. When that was up, I got a 6-month contract at a large agency here in Atlanta, which led to me getting a full-time job in interactive marketing.

    Dude. Sometimes, just show up for the interview and take the job… if I hadn’t gone to the HR asst. interview, I may have never been considered for the marketing job and wouldn’t have gotten the experience to end up where I want to be.

  18. Jessica says:

    Also, I would be careful about being (totally justifiably) snippy to people you interview with. Chicago really is a small town, and you never know who this woman knows, or could have referred you to…

  19. You had every right to be irritated. How rude!! I hope something perfect comes along for you soon.

    La Petite Chics last blog post..Operation Bébé

  20. I hate to say it, but you might need to just suck it up and take a job just because. But, at least you’ll have money for more wine!

    Jen on the Edges last blog post..Where did it go?

  21. rye says:

    Haha, my gut often confuses those very same things! Hm.

    Don’t worry – you will find it eventually. “It” being “the job that makes you happy.” 🙂

    ryes last blog study

  22. slynnro says:

    For once I agree your old pal Larry Lilly- take a crap job and keep looking. Because the sanity, it is precious.

    slynnros last blog post..Self Proclaimed Product Expert Appears in ACTUAL PUBLICATION.

  23. Matthew says:

    The economy has definetly softened but I still see thousands of chicago jobs posted on employment sites. (networking) (aggregated listings) (matches you to jobs)

    good luck to those searching for jobs.

  24. whoorl says:

    My very first real “sales” job was for a temp agency. I had to cold call offices all day every day, but the real kicker was that I had to fire the bad temps. I had to STAND in front of office buildings at 7:45am, waiting for the stranger to walk up to the building and PREVENT them from entering. (In my Ann Taylor skirt suit and pumps! Me! HAHAAAAAAAA. Ahem.)

    whoorls last blog post..Going shopping in my own closet

  25. whoorl says:

    p.s. – You’ll find a job, I promise. Good vibes!

    whoorls last blog post..Going shopping in my own closet

  26. metalia says:

    I have had the same job since college, so I have no advice…I only hope that you find a good one soon!!

    metalias last blog post..The "Cruel Fall Wind"? Really?

  27. heather... says:

    well, now that I have joined you in the unemployed ranks, I can say that you’re right on about working in sports. No one really knows what it’s like. It’s rough. It has perks, but it’s still A JOB. And not a job I have anymore, either.

    I wish I could buy some HOBO gear.

    heather…s last blog post..UI Application, DE 1101I

  28. Angella says:

    I have no words of wisdom – being an accountant means I will always have a job, due to the whole “death & taxes” certainty.

    I’m rooting for you though!

    Angellas last blog post..Guarding My Heart