Posted By on October 10, 2008

First off, I have to share with you what I purchased at Target today. Yes, it is boxed wine. But look! It comes in a cube. In four single servings. (Well, single servings if you aren’t ME.) Or as I’ve decided they should be marketed, JUICE BOXES FOR WINE! JUICE BOXES FOR ADULTS! JUICE BOXES FOR ALCOHOLICS! See?

Add a straw and you could drink these in the car and totally not get arrested! Boxes are the new bottles!


I actually planned to write about something else entirely, but I couldn’t not share the wine juice boxes with you. And I feel bad for those of you who cannot buy alcohol in Target so that you can’t buy the Wine Cubes. Once you go cube, you’re never going back! Wine Cube in ’08!

The plan, actually, was to write about a certain piece of mail I received today.

Do you remember when I mentioned here about a certain job I was interviewing for? Last time we saw our Interviewing Machine of a Heroine, she was in the finalist interview for this position. She charmed them and wowed them in the interview and then blew them away on the writing test. When it came to the thank you emails, she totally fucked up and sent emails at 11 PM, but what would that matter? Her credentials and her exploding-off-the-page personality were more than a little thank you email mishap. Most people don’t even send thank you emails anyway!

Fast forward a week after the last interview. Our heroine hasn’t heard anything. So she gives a courtesy call, knowing full well the last communication was that a decision would be made in a “few weeks” from now. She leaves a light, breezy message just to let them know “hey! I’m still here and still want the job you want to give to me!”

That was last Tuesday. Our heroine never got a return phone call. Again she thought nothing of it because she knew that “few weeks” meant more than one. Our heroine is very intelligent, clearly.

So this week on Wednesday, after our heroine hasn’t heard ANYTHING from this fucking company (easy, breezy heroine has LOST HER BREEZINESS), she calls again. Again, another reminder that she’s still here and has not heard A WORD from them. She attempts breezy, but is afraid that maybe when she mentions the fact that the HR person did not return her last phone call, it may come across as bitchy. She hope this doesn’t hurt her chances to become the easy, breezy Communications Manager.

Today, our heroine receives a letter (postmarked on Wednesday after said phone call) from the WEAK HR person at the company that says they have decided to fill the position with another NOT EASY, BREEZY candidate. Our heroine is upset by this letter for a number of reasons. Here she will list those reasons.

  1. They spelled the heroine’s first name wrong. In the letter AND on the envelope. This may be OK had she not been on THREE INTERVIEWS with this company.
  2. Actually, that’s never OK. Look at the FUCKING RESUME.
  3. Our heroine knew, after two weeks of no returned phone calls, that she didn’t get the job. But since this company was being cowardly and not returning her phone calls, she was all excited about the prospect of calling once a week for the next 17 weeks until this company finally told her “NO, we did not select you. PLEASE STOP CALLING.”
  4. A letter is totally a cop-out. Our heroine deserves better. After a phone interview and two in-person interviews, she DESERVES a phone call to let her know. And not just because she has left two messages. She deserves a phone call because that is the right thing to do after an in-person interview.
  5. Our heroine, when she worked for the 49ers, had the duty of sending out ding letters to possible intern candidates. If the 49ers ever actually interviewed someone, like talked to them on the phone, they got a call from the PR Director to tell them “you’re a fuckwit, sorry you will never work here.” It is common decency to call a person to let them down easy.
  6. Sending a letter because you’re too chicken to CALL SOMEONE BACK is just spineless.
  7. This will bother our heroine for quite some time. Because as Stephanie Tanner once eloquently stated “HOW RUDE!”

Our heroine is actually OK with not getting this job. This debacle of the sorry handling of the whole thing, with the HR woman apparently too chicken to PICK UP THE PHONE (I’m talking Director of HR too, not a HR underling, not that it matters), made it clear that this would not be a good place for our heroine to work. There are better places for her to be at, places that will realize her witty, easy, breezy style and embrace it. She will find exactly the right place to work at.

She just hope that place has wine juice boxes.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


40 Responses to “Cop-Out”

  1. Swishy says:

    They definitely did you a favor then, because you DO NOT want to work there! Their loss.

    If it makes you feel any better, I did a full-on critique for a magazine–we’re talking checking out the last YEAR’S worth of issues from the library, spending hours going through them and typing up ideas–only to get no response. Zero. HATE HIM. And his little magazine too.

    Swishys last blog post..Hot wheels

  2. christa says:

    sorry about the job, but holy victory with the wine juice boxes! never in minnesota. … [shakes head sadly.]

    christas last blog post..dry ice. chainsaws. …

  3. Molly says:

    I’m just glad to hear this shit happens to someone else too! If I take time out of my non-working day to come and interview with your sorry company 3 times, you should have the decency (ie balls) to call me and tell me that you don’t want someone as FABULOUS as me working for you.

    Keep your chin up – they don’t know what they’re missing.

    And congrats on the wine box.

    Mollys last blog post..Random Life stuff

  4. Mahnee says:

    Sorry about the job. What a bunch of asshats to handle it that way! Just one other thought knowing a bit about the job…with the budget cuts the state/cities/suburbs are experiencing, it may be better not to have gotten the job only to have it cut in a couple months.

    Too bad I don’t like wine…I’d so have one of those wine boxes chilling every Friday here. Now if someone could just copy that idea and make beer drink boxes, I’d be set.

  5. Claudia says:

    I just discovered the wine juice boxes at Target last week and then spent the remainder of this week wondering where they had been all my life. I was actually suprised at how good the wine was, because really…how good to you really expect wine in a box to be?

    Plus they are just so damn cute!

    Claudias last blog post..Um… I Was Just Kidding About the Zombies! Go Away Now, Please.

  6. Mouncie123 says:

    I thought I would have to be a wine juice box closet drinker. My husband couldn’t believe I bought them. Thanks for making me feel it’s OK to drink Juice Box Wine!!

  7. That level of ineptitude speaks volumes about the company and it’s just as well you won’t be working there.

    And what is the deal with manners these days? Why is it so effing difficult for HR people to 1) acknowledge that they got your resume and then 2) let you know promptly that you didn’t get the job?

    Jen on the Edges last blog post..Life is short. Don’t make it shorter.

  8. bikerchick says:

    So sorry about the asshat’s treatment of EASY, BREEZE CANDIDATE #1. Most companies truly suck at it, but I agree you were owed a phone call. Job searching is a total roller coaster that requires uncontrolled portions of wine juice. May I recommend the larger boxes that you just stick in the fridge and dispense from? Because then you don’t have to look in the recycle bin and go tsk, tsk, tsk at the numerous empties? So much easier in the morning on the bruised ego 😉

  9. TUWABVB says:

    You know, I just had a very similar experience (I’m still not over it) and you’re right….why would I want to work at a place that treats people so shoddily? Thanks for this.

    (Going out to buy a wine box).

    TUWABVBs last blog post..Shallow Thoughts….By Me

  10. LOVE the juiceboxes!

    I had applied for a job and was told the position was closed, but they’d be in touch. So then the position opened back up and the temp lady would forward my resume. I heard nothing for 2 weeks. Granted, you’d think- fine they aren’t interested, but I called anyways to find out. Temp lady said they didn’t want to interview me because I had no experience. A week later Temp Lady called and asked if I was still interested, because they wanted to see me. In the end- I interviewed and got the job, but it was a lot of BS going back and forth and how easily it is for companies to throw ya around because- well, they can if you really want the job.

    EmmaElizabeths last blog post..How to be fabulous….

  11. Candy says:

    I feel like I jinxed you. I’m never asking again.

    These people suck, but I know a little something about being spineless when rejecting people. I used to do a lot of community theater, and it was our theater’s decision to call each and every person who auditioned for a show, to tell them if they had or had not been cast. It’s a suck job. Sometimes people get REALLY MAD and SAY NASTY THINGS to you. So we started only making them during the day when we thought people would be at work, or late at night on their cell phones.

    Spineless. I know it.

    Candys last blog post..If I knew then what I know now…

  12. That blows. I’m sorry. But at least you have the cutest little cube of wine and I’m sure the weakling doesn’t! Love the wine in a cube!

    HollowSquirrels last blog post..Bananas and Minty Fresh Ass

  13. Melissa says:

    Wow, you’re right…that was a cop-out. I mean as a director of HR wouldn’t that be part of your job? In the end I think you dodged a bullet. Yay, you!

    As for the wine…is it good? Somehow wine in a box screams…well, ick? 🙂

    Melissas last blog post..Luci, You Got Some Splainin’ To Do……

  14. Amber says:

    Ooh! Ooh! I actually saw those little wine boxes in Target when I was in Florida this year (yes, I go to Target when I’m on vacation) and, being a wine connoisseur like yourself, was tremendously excited by them. I have no idea why I didn’t buy them now…

    Secondly: that company REALLY needs an easy, breeze communications manager, on account of how they are clearly totally unable to communiate properly. But yes, it sounds like you were too good for them anyway…

    Ambers last blog post..The gym, one year on…

  15. Lori says:

    Wow – who still sends snail mail. Couldn’t she at least sent an email? Lame. Kudos on buying the wine cube, though. I’m intrigued by them everytime I see them at Target, but I’ve never heard anything about the actual taste of the wine. Is it good? FYI – forgot to tell you…when we got back from SFO this weekend, we saw Kat Von D at the airport! That would have made an interesting Christmas card!

  16. Rhi says:

    I bought the Pinot Gris juice boxes. I am a fan.

    Rhis last blog post..Friday Bullets: Off My Rocker Edition

  17. Evil Genius says:

    That company was obviously full of wanktards who have not yet discovered wine juice boxes.

    Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m on my way to Target.

    Evil Geniuss last blog post..This Meme is for the Worms

  18. rye says:

    Hahaha, LOVE the Stephanie Tanner quote!

    Sorry the job didn’t work out … but, hey! At least now you’re not stuck working with the wimpy HR. That’s a plus, right?

    And, dude – WINE JUICE BOXES!!! Life doesn’t get much better. I’ll be checking my local Target this weekend!

    ryes last blog post..busier than busy (whinier than whiney)

  19. Moose says:

    Oh, how I hear you on the suckitude of interviewing. Two rejections this week, hooray! Must go drown my sorrows in a box of wine. (Wine boxes RULE.)

    Mooses last blog post..Door Number Two, Please

  20. Elle Charlie says:

    Sorry, I totally know how that feels. I agree, if you have face-to-face interviews, they ought to call you. But you SO don’t want to work there knowing how wussy they are, right?

    Elle Charlies last blog post..Spin Cycle: Use your words

  21. ali says:

    boxed wine is ONLY permissible on LOST.
    just saying 🙂

    alis last blog post..dumped. dunked. and decluttered.

  22. I think you are definitely better off without that job if don’t even have the balls, or common courtesy to give you a phone call. Grrr…have a ‘juice box’ for me, dear.

    La Petite Chics last blog post..DAS BOOT!!

  23. Ree says:

    Fuckwits. They don’t know good. Obviously.

    Rees last blog post..Haiku Friday – Hotfessional For Sale

  24. lainey says:

    These are really cute & yummy too if you like champagne.

  25. Sarah says:

    WINE JUICE BOXES!!!!! I have died and gone to alcoholic heaven. This is especially important to me because I have a problem with getting up in the middle of the night and “grazing” over the junk food in our pantry (meant for the children’s desserts, clearly). You would think with all of the recreational sleeping pills I take I would be out of the count. You thought WRONG. I actually, quite possibly, consume more calories at 2am than I do at dinner. With this “snack” I always snag a juice box (because they are oh so convenient for those midnight cravings, and who the hell wants yet another dirty dish in the sink in the morning? Not I with the piggleston I have of a husband). To be able to snag a WINE juice BOX?? Oh My Freakin’ GOD. I may have to set my alarm to just enjoy a smorgasbord of cheese and wine at 2am instead of my usual milk and cookies (or pumpkin pie should the occasion arise).
    Rocks my world and made my fuckin lame ass day. CHEERS to wine juice boxes ( I am pulling on my shoes now and heading to Target to buy them out of ever kind they have).

    Sarahs last blog post..Smoking Cars

  26. chibi says:

    Did we interview with the same company?!?

    I went for 2 interviews and a ridiculously intensive test to have the HR woman press me not to accept the other job that I was interviewing for simultaneously “too soon.” She was so unbelievably disorganized I had serious doubts about working there — she knew for 2 days when I’d be in for the test, yet she made me sit there for 15 minutes while she photocopied the booklet instead of having one ready.

    After EIGHT WEEKS of back and forth, the final straw came when, in response to my eleventy-seventh email, she told me that I’d have to come back in to meet the 3rd manager. The one who was at my second interview. When I pointed this out, she actually called me and floundered about for a solid 3 minutes apologizing. All I could do was reply that I was glad to know I made an impression (maybe that’s the comment that was my “undoing”?).

    I ended up accepting a different (better) job. I never heard ANYTHING from them, even after I emailed to let her know I was no longer looking (as she requested). Ridiculous.

    chibis last blog post..I HAZ IT!

  27. michele says:

    they are fuckwits and I think you should tell them so. Unacceptable. You are completely justified

  28. Bridge says:

    This same thing has happened to me – except that they never even sent the damn letter. Ridiculous.

    Love the lovely boxed wine. It is really quite delicious…far better than the Franzia I remember from college.

    Bridges last blog post..Louisville Haiku

  29. Mini wine boxes? Sounds like the greatest thing since Kidsbeer.

    Chris | Martial Developments last blog post..Bearish on the Blogosphere: A 2009 Forecast

  30. Jerri Ann says:

    Whew, I was so relaxed reading the wine part of the post but by the time I finished, you had me fighting mad, I’m going back to read about wine-juice boxes to settle my nerves..ahhhhh nice…..

    Jerri Anns last blog post..A Guest Post – If you don’t read it all, you will never understand…..I’m still shaking my head

  31. Sire says:

    Perhaps the idea of a straw and sipping wine in the car isn’t such a good idea, especially if some moron decided it was OK to drink and drive.

    Sires last blog post..So, Have You Been Stumbled Or Not?

  32. witchypoo says:

    What? You get the tiny wine boxes? Ours only come in 4 litre sizes. Dangerous.

    witchypoos last blog post..Trying on Shoes

  33. richard $tabone says:

    sounds like a shit company to me. which one was it, the oakland raiders?

  34. Jozet says:

    Pfffft. That’s pathetic. The cop out, not the box wine.

    Wine in any shaped container is great. Mostly in the container of ma belly.

    You should have sent the company a note like in 5th grade:

    Did you like me. Circle one. YES NO MAYBE

    Will you call me back someday? Circle one. YES NO HELL NO

  35. sunnyd says:

    juice boxes for adults!!!???!!! wow! I’m sorry- I’m having trouble focusing on the rest of your post after this new, and exciting revelation. thanks for sharing!

  36. And my love for Target grows. I didn’t know that was possible. I’ve had their boxed wine, but will have to investigate this onesie juice box option.

    The company that sent the letter instead of calling = suckage. As others said above, you’re definitely better off without them; at least in my experience, any chicken moves in the interview process guarantees a terrible employer. Your anger is completely understandable.

  37. jonniker says:

    OMFG, I HATE THAT. A couple of years ago, I was interviewing for a job and got a call back that I was cleared for a second interview, yay! And that I’d hear from them the following week, yay! And when I didn’t hear from them for three weeks, despite repeated phone calls, much like you did, I finally reached the HR director (SAME) live, where she appeared totally puzzled that I was even calling about that job, because they filled it last week! And who was I again?

    I was fucking FUMING. Because who does that? Who calls someone back to give them good news and TOTALLY FORGETS ABOUT THEM, even to let them down gently? And since it was for a major real estate developer who is now suffering mightily, I believe I got the last laugh. You will too.

    Also, one of the biggest things I miss about Florida — well, assuming I wasn’t pregnant and vomiting at the mere SMELL of wine, and I’m not kidding, I HATE THE SMELL, WHO AM I? — is Target’s wine cubes and drink boxes. Damn, I miss that place and their cheap, cheap alcohol.

    jonnikers last blog post..Coal Miner’s Daughter

  38. Kristie says:

    Wine boxes for grown ups!!! AWESOME. If I bought those I’d have to make absolutely SURE that I didn’t confuse them my sons real juice boxes because that would be bad.

    And BOO! to those people. They suck!

    Kristies last blog post..Happy Monday. Please enjoy a few pictures.

  39. I can relate… I always seem to get rejection emails after I’ve gone on face-to-face interviews. From time to time, they’re adressed: Dear ,
    …which is pretty insulting. At my current job, HR held my offer letter on their desk for a month and then insisted that I only give one week’s notice (not that I cared) because they really, really needed me to start right then. I assume this was HR covering themselves against rage from the VP.

    Best of luck with the search! Feel your pain.

    Kate @ So Slights last blog post..The best thing to happen to A-ha since… something happened to A-ha.

  40. Damn. That’s cold. Sports Fan got the same deal with a law firm (that I ended up working for, ouch!) and they were just stringing him along until some one else (me!) decided. Totally sucks.

    My Grandmother is actually a pioneer of camouflage drinks for transport. Manhattans in Snapple bottles. True story. I will gladly carry on her legacy with Target Wine Boxes.

    Anonymous New Yorks last blog post..New York Food and Wine Festival