Just The Tip

Posted By on January 10, 2013

Sometimes I look at my life and think “this stuff only happens to me.” I mean, I’ve had some weird shit happen in my life. And last night was no different.

I will preface this by telling you all I’m just fine.

A big part of Whole 30 is meal planning and prep. Since anything pre-made is processed and full of junk (and SUGAR!), you can’t pick something up on the go. The only on the go thing that works is a hardboiled egg or a handful of nuts. So I spend a lot of my time cooking and prepping for the week.

This week was no different. The only difference was my degree of laziness. I had bought sweet potatoes to make sweet potato fries to go with my carne asada. I bought these on Sunday. I didn’t actually get around to peeling or slicing them until Wednesday night.

That was my first mistake.

I had already finished dinner, sans sweet potatoes, but I decided in a stroke of genius to peel and cut the potato for Thursday’s dinner! SO SMART! So I went about this and thought “I’m going to use my new mandoline to make this easier!”

That was my second, and probably final, mistake. But it was a doozy.

This mandoline is new. It has the safety handle thing so you don’t chop your fingers off. I’ve always, always, always been afraid of mandolines and their SHARP, SHARP blades. Having that holder/handle thing was the only way I would use it. And I have, with no incidents.

Until last night.

I used the handle thing on the potato, until it was too small and not working so well. This is when I decided to use my hand, thinking “I’m smart enough not to slice my finger! I’m not an idiot!”


I sliced off a chickpea sized chunk of the top of my right index finger. A rather large chunk, as far as those things go. In fact, the doctor said I came within about a millimeter of clipping the bone, which would have caused a lot more problems, so WHEW!

Here is problem number one with living by yourself – when you’re bleeding profusely and running around the house in circles, there is no one there to help. I literally had no idea what to do. The only thing I knew was that I HAD to go to the emergency room. A band aid wasn’t going to cut it.

First thing I did was I called the Urgent Care on the corner to see if they were open. They weren’t and told me to go to the ER. Then I panicked because where the fuck was the closest hospital? And how was I going to get there? You can’t call an ambulance for this, right? Also, I’m not paying an ambulance charge!

Then I called a friend of mine. Her phone rang twice and I was like “what the hell am I going to say? It will take her longer to get here than if I were driving myself to the hospital!” So I hung up.

(I had remembered about the hospital close to my house. Bonus! It’s the hospital I was born at, no shit!)

At this point the oven timer went off.


I turned off the oven, left it in there. Then I realized I was wearing Santa Claus pajama pants and no bra. So SOMEHOW, without the use of one finger, an important finger, I might add, I got on some yoga pants and a bra. I drew the line at socks and just slipped on some shoes, grabbed my purse and drove down the street.

Everything after that was pretty uneventful. The ER was not packed, at all, THANK GOD. I was fast tracked and brought back pretty quickly. Which was good because the blood, OMG SO MUCH BLOOD.

(Side note, the triage nurse asked about my medications. I told her I was on Prozac. And she said “what’s that?” And I just looked at her and was like “an anti-depressant.” And she looked at me and then my finger and was like “oh, you’re depressed?” YES, AND I TRIED TO OFF MYSELF BY CHOPPING OFF THE TIPPY TOP OF MY FINGER! FAIL!) (That was the first time in a really long time I was embarrassed about being on anti-depressants. At a hospital. Talking to a nurse. Yeesh!)

The doctor checked it out. Realized it was a gusher and that I probably hit a blood vessel or two and I would need stitches. This meant numbing me up, so yay! Pain, pain go away!

She numbs my finger up, making it look like a sausage with all the liquid she pumped in there and the pain started to subside. So she got all ready to stitch me up. She put the needle in and I jumped 10 feet in the air because while the base of my finger was feeling good, the tip, the exposed nerve part, was not numb! She tried at a different spot with the same result, yet this time she had to put the stitch in so, yeah, feeling a stitch go through skin? Not fun.

She finally put the numbing shit right on the tip of my finger, shooting a needle UNDERNEATH MY FINGERNAIL TO NUMB IT ALL! OH SWEET JESUS!

Sorry, I just fainted remembering this. I actually think I blocked it out.

Then it was all fine. All stitched up and still gushing blood. So they put something on it to help with the clotting and then it stopped. I was whisked away for X-Rays, to make sure I didn’t hit the bone. I came very close, but was fine. So I left with a prescription for antibiotics and a note to call a hand specialist to make an appointment with him.

Oh yes, because I will probably need a skin graft. I’ll find out more next week. *HEADDESK*

And there was this:

So that was my Wednesday night. Now I have to walk around with my finger looking like a giant tampon. But at least I still have a finger. And know mildly how I act in crisis mode. Oh, and where the closest hospital is.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


11 Responses to “Just The Tip”

  1. Ahhhhh! I would have passed out. Funny enough, I didn’t know where the closest hospital was until my brother-in-law was here visiting, stuck his hand through a window and spent the Sunday in the ER (just two minutes from my house…now I know).
    Camels & Chocolate´s last blog post ..Do as the Royals Do in Ireland

  2. Out of all of this, the thing that strikes me the most is the nurse not knowing what Prozac is. Really? I mean, school kids have heard of Prozac! :\

    The whole thing sounds awful, and I am definitely having nothing to do with a mandoline at any point in the near future. Here’s hoping the hand specialist opens up the bandages and finds a magically healed finger! (Or if that doesn’t happen, here’s hoping they numb you better for the graft :\ )
    Jessica @ Just a Mum?´s last blog post ..I Resolve to Make Doable Resolutions.

  3. Only you.

    *shaking my head*

    Glad you’re okay.
    Jen on the Edge´s last blog post ..Winter Break 2012: And back on dry land

  4. Angella says:

    Oh, man! SO glad it wasn’t worse.
    Angella´s last blog post ..Minor Annoyances

  5. Rhi says:


    Oh my god. I hope you heal quickly!
    Rhi´s last blog post ..Friday Bullets.

  6. Erin says:

    I almost puked and passed out just reading this post! I swear I have PTSD from the time I cut my finger with our bread knife and had to go to the ER. Even thinking about it makes me dizzy.

    So, yeah, good on you for being able to get yourself to the ER! I’d probably still be laying on the floor of my kitchen.
    Erin´s last blog post ..The It List for January 11th

  7. tracey says:

    Oh my Gosh! Just think; now you can use that finger for breaking and entering because you won’t have a fingerprint. SCORE!

    Sorry you had to go through that. Especially the shot under the nail. That made ME pass out just reading it.
    tracey´s last blog post ..My Precious

  8. gorillabuns says:

    Cross that contraption off my birthday list! I am so glad you didn’t cut even more off!

    Prozac? what was she, like, 18?

  9. alimartell says:

    I’m sorry, when I got to this part of your story:


    I died.

    And then I died *for* you. This—I cannot believe this happened to you. I’m so, so sorry, and seriously so happy that you are okay and that it was not worse than it was (re: bone and such) but were you at any point thinking “this is greatest story ever” because the blogger in me totally would have been thinking that. ha!

    alimartell´s last blog post ..…It Pours

  10. regan says:

    Well, how did the frittata turn out?
    regan´s last blog post ..the short version is: I’m doing a lot of blending

  11. Ugh, that sucks! Hope your finger is healing!
    Amber @ Busy, Bold, Blessed´s last blog post ..My Whole21–Days 1 through 6