Grocery Store Check Out
Posted By Kristabella on September 1, 2009
I always think it is silly when bloggers apologize for not writing. But I’m going to do it anyway. I do honestly feel bad when my posting lags and when it goes on a few days without me having any new material. Not like I feel like I have to write, but I do enjoy writing (usually) and I appreciate that so many of you continue to tune in to my inane ramblings. Even when all I give you is posts about my dreams and DINAO.
But my brain, it is mush. I have zero creativity these days. Life has been busy and I’ve decided to sleep and go out and have a good time in exchange for blogging and doing dishes and having clean underwear. But that means, since I’m almost 32 (September 14!), when I do too much, my old bones take some time to recover and I end up falling asleep on the couch at 7 PM on a Monday night. Man, if this is happening now, I can only imagine how exciting my life will be in my 40s.
In my defense (or not really) I went out a lot this past weekend and imbibed in a few libations. And I realized, once again, that I am no longer in my 20s and drinking 3 days in a row is not S-M-R-T.
But hey, I had fun! At least according to my Twitter stream!
You know it is always good when you’re drinking on a Sunday evening and the dude you meet (who had the SOFTEST hands ever) is so hot, you say it twice.
And how considerate of me to remind everyone what day and time it is! In case you forgot that it was a Sunday night, I wanted to let you know that. Also that the hot dude is indeed hot.
In other news, tonight on my way home from work I went grocery shopping. We have a pot luck lunch at work tomorrow (taco bar!), so I needed to pick up what I was responsible for. Plus I needed something in the house besides string cheese and Coke Zero.
So I start unloading my cart. This is always a hectic time for me because I feel some sort of weird pressure to go as fast as possible and not hold up the line at all. I have NO IDEA where this grocery store line anxiety comes from. I just know that when I buy more things (i.e. this trip since I had NO food in the house) I have this constant fear of not getting the cart unloaded in time. I think it is because at Jewel, one of the local stores here in Chicago, they wait for your stupid preferred/club card thing. Like they won’t start scanning until they get it. So it’s like this race against the conveyor belt and the old grandma in front of me who thankfully paid by check, giving me some more time. (Trader Joe’s is like my heaven because they unload your cart/basket for you. It’s like my version of a spa grocery store.)
Anyway, my neuroses wasn’t actually the point of this story. My point was as I was fumbling to get my cart unpacked and loaded onto the belt, I noticed this guy was like standing near the aisle. He appeared to have no groceries and was just lingering by our aisle. He wasn’t behind me, he was just being creepy. Like I could sense his creepiness.
Obviously I didn’t say anything to him because of the undue PRESSURE to empty my cart as fast as possible, but I still noted it in my brain and thought “that was weird. Very creepy.”
Until I figured out on the way to my car that I have a lower cut shirt on today (not inappropriate, but not a turtleneck) and I’m pretty sure he was watching my cleavage as I bent over my cart to reach in and pick up each and every item in there. That’s the creepy look in his eyes that are seared into my memory. I should probably find a new grocery store.
Or maybe I should just start ordering my groceries online.
What’s your worst grocery store experience? And how come I never see cute guys in the grocery store and we fall in love over the bok choy? Or maybe I should start eating bok choy?
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I have a weird grocery store neurosis about unloading the cart too…but it’s more the positioning. You know, where you can better empty your cart by standing at the end closest to the conveyor belt but inevitably the person behind you crowds up in your space and when it’s time to push your cart through you either have to do a weird little dance where they back up or you have to leave the cart behind you preventing their ability to efficiently unload their own cart.
Yeah,…maybe should write my own blog post about that..anyway, I have seen hot guys looking hot at that grocery store exactly ONCE, and that was when I was there at like 5 AM on a Sunday (insomnia is the best) and he was obs a military guy judging by the camo pants and gun.
.-= Suz´s last blog ..Happy Blogoversary! =-.
Costco uses those cards so I just put mine on top of the first thing on the conveyor and continue loading my stuff out of the cart, that way they can start scanning while I am still unloading and it’s all good; though I don’t feel stressed there about moving quickly, I only feel that pressure in the self check line at the grocery store and when people are crowding me at Target.
.-= Raven´s last blog ..there on the path of stress and freaking out go I =-.
I have that same anxiety, which makes no sense as most people are horifically inconsiderate at the grocery store.
Seriously, people don’t actually meet in the grocery store. I think that that is just a cover up story. Like they met at a wild sex orgy and can’t tell that story in public. I talk to no one at the grocery store unless I’m telling them that their kids are Satan’s spawn and to get the hell out of my way, they are blocking the good snacks with the saturated fat.
.-= Dutchess of Kickball´s last blog ..My Ghost Story =-.
I have anxiety over how the cart is loaded so it can be appropriately bagged…yea I’m a freak.
Fortunately for me – my local grocery store (Stop & Shop here but I think it’s called Giant in some other places) has this FABULOUS new system where you can scan your groceries and bag them AS YOU SHOP!!! Then at the end you just go to self check-out, it downloads all the info from the hand held scanner, swipe your coupons and pay and bam you’re done. This has relieved all my grocery store anxiety – holla!
As for cute guys…..they’re dead or married right? Just kidding…there’s a cute guy in the meat department. He makes the meatball mix for me everytime I go. He even gave me his “special” meatball recipe. But I only semi-flirt with him. I’m kind of scared to full on flirt because hello he chops up meat for a living. That should be a red flag for dating right??? Hmm or maybe not..this could explain why I’m still single….
The worst experiences at the grocery store are when the check-out person feels the need to comment on your purchases. The store I go to has an olive bar, and since I’m only cooking for two, I only needed a few, so I only filled the smallest container half-full. The check-out lady wanted me to go and fill up my container since they charge by the container not by the weight. I said no, that I had everything I needed. She was all upset that I was paying for a full container but she didn’t seem to understand my point that the olives would just get thrown out, and I would rather leave them in the olive bar for someone else! BAH.
.-= Julienne´s last blog ..Levels of attractiveness. =-.
I am ten years older than you, and I can tell you how it feels to drink three days in a row. Like shit! That’s why i don’t do it anymore. That and the fact that when I was your age, I had babies, who have absolutely no consideration for Mommy’s big ass hangover.
I try to always do the self checkout @ the store. And more often than not, I remember to bring my own bags (go me!) What I hate is the effing machine always without fail alerts the attendant when I add my bag, and interrupts the flow of the scanning. Then I have to wait for her to finish whatever nonsense thing she is doing to attend to me. Sucks.
I have the same unloading cart anxiety. But I think ours is because we also have to bag our own groceries and if either is done slowly, the line can very well be held up.
Creepiest grocery store experience: I was there with my husband and some creepy guy still hit on me. “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Even after I told him no, get away from me, and even after he SAW my husband, he still kept at it.
.-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Is This Where I’m Supposed to Say Something About a Stork? =-.
Do you honestly want to love a man who buys bok choi? Honestly? Hang out by vegetables you want to see in your OWN fridge.
Soooo? What happened with hot Sunday night guy?? Or maybe he was also the creepy grocery store guy but the excessive libations made him LOOK hot?!? Gasp! The horror…
.-= tracey´s last blog ..To Enjoy It =-.
Back when Ellie was one, I was unloading groceries onto the conveyor belt when I noticed the clerk and two old ladies nearby staring at me. I looked down and discovered that Ellie had stuck her sippy cup down my shirt in between my boobs and was leaning forward and drinking from it. I hadn’t even noticed.
.-= Jen on the Edge´s last blog ..Hitting the snooze button =-.
Once I was wearing a light green bra under this salmon colored shirt, which I didn’t realize was kind of noticeable until I was in the grocery store. Albertson’s, to be specific.
The lightbulb moment came to me when I was turning an aisle and some guy moved out of the way for me and I said “Thank you,” to which he replied “No, thank YOU”. I started wondering what he meant when I realized he was probably happy to get a boob shot (well, more like a bra shot).
I just paid and got out of there as fast as possible after that, taking great care to shield my boobs with as many grocery bags as possible.
.-= CC´s last blog ..How to properly read a James Patterson novel =-.
Oh-kay. Every single grocery trip ends up with a story. Basically, the recurring theme is: do not get behind me line. You will have no more pressure to unload quickly, since the line will. Not. MOVE. Ever again.
The end.
PS my bday is the 23rd! And I just got a shot to alleviate my arthritis, so I hear ya about the “old bones.”
.-= Missy´s last blog ..Life is Choices =-.
I have the conveyor belt issues but mainly because I usually do grocery shopping with Gram & it’s two orders. Yes, clerkie, two orders…so you need to swipe my Jewel card twice and yes, you can pack all the groceries in the same cart yada yada yada. It’s made more stressful because Gram doesn’t like to carry her own money so I have to pay for mine, conclude that transaction, then take care of hers. The only humorous part of the weekly adventure (and this is only if I’m in a good mood) is that Gram gets spaced out in the ethnic aisle. Really excited and spaced out. One ethnic aisle has a portion of Polish food which includes Polish candy. It’s the shiny wrapped papers on the candy that makes her STOP and STARE week after week. Like she’s hypnotized….and also doesn’t remember she did the same thing the previous week. I am so going to hell for relating that.
I’m totally creeped out by your grocery store stalker. It doesn’t help that I just saw the People of Walmart site; ain’t nothin perty over yonder. GAH, their redneck has rubbed off on me! EWWW!!
EEEEEWWWW.
My worst experience? When one dude (loudly) said to a friend of his (in reference to me), “I see my future ex-wife.”
Oh, BE STILL MY BEATING HEART.
.-= Angella´s last blog ..In One Ear And Out The Other =-.
firstly, I could live on coke zero and string cheese for days, at least 😉
my only anxiety at the grocery store are the people who stand TOO CLOSE in line. HATE.
also? bok choy is awesome. just saying.
.-= ali´s last blog ..It’s not ONLY about monkeys not being able to spell lingerie, I promise =-.
The only boys in the bok choy aisle are far too short for you. Take it from me, another Single Tall One. Oh and here’s a tip about stalling for time at Jewel– they always try to pimp some junkfood special they have at the checkout, so you can just pretend to be contemplating that purchase– you know, pick up the bag, pretend to consider buying something that has 12 grams of saturated fat per serving, and then politely decline. TJ’s is actually a decent place to meet people, or at least to chat people up. They are all married at my TJs, but I get to stay in practice (HA!) I love your spa analogy– may I use that?
People who bring the WHOLE FAMILY. OMG, there is not enough room in those damn isles already. And THEN, they walk too slow and block the isle. Congregation of STUPID! I just have grocery store issues and grocery stores are gross. BUT Firemen, I LOVE when them big strong men in uniforms are shopping.
.-= Fran´s last blog ..Why I don’t like wearing my hair up and…Where was I? =-.
My worst grocery store experience came from when I worked in one… and creepy friend of my dad’s would come in to talk to me. And stalk me. Until the manager threatened him.
Then the pharmacy manager started making inappropriate comments to me. To the point I wouldn’t help stock shelves in his area if he was working. And then he made a comment in front of my dad. Who immediately went to the same manager (who also happened to have bought his house through my parents, and I used to babysit his kids), and the pharm mgr was written up and reported to corporate, and then was never allowed to work on the same shift I was.
.-= Darcey´s last blog ..Always Busy =-.
Many of my worst grocery store experiences were with your Auntie Nanny. She always hurried through the store and was always an aisle or 2 ahead of me. When we would meet she’d warn me about proceeding down the same aisle she was in because it “might smell”. She has a problem with gas you know.
Central Market is my spa store here in town. They don’t even bat an eye when I tell them two orders and they bag the groceries for me, in PAPER! I have phobias about loading the belt with my groceries because I have to be sure to position everything in such a way that will guarantee that cold items are bagged together and heavy items are on the bottom. Additionally I am also trying to watch my purse which is in the front of the cart because you know I don’t carry a reasonably sized purse that I could actually have on my shoulder while unloading my cart, no not ME!
Jason officially declared after our first trip together to the grocery store that he will never go with me again. This was perhaps after I started to cry while checking out at Albertson’s. I do not know why I was crying, it’s not that I don’t remember I didn’t even have a clear reason back then. Maybe something to do with not getting everything and not wanting to keep searching for it. Anyway…he had words, I had tears and words and we no longer grocery shop together. The End.
My worst grocery store experience was when a thuggish, pervy guy locked eyes with me from a few checkstands down and wouldn’t stop staring at me. Although he was rung up and done before I was, he lingered around the parking lot unbeknownst to me. He then proceeded to follow me as I started to drive home, honking his horn, tailing my bumper and whipping around corners when I would turn unexpectedly in an effort to try and lose him. This went on for 1-2 zigzag miles through a residential neighborhood before I finally got the idea to start driving towards the nearest police station. He must have figured out where I was headed (since he looked like a thug and all) because a block or two out from the station he finally stopped, made a u-turn and headed back to whatever rock he crawled out from.
Let’s see, my most recent worst grocery store experience was recently. It was a couple weeks ago and I was standing in line waiting to check out. I was already OVERDUE with my baby and this bitch hits me with her damn cart. Needless to say, I was not happy. Already cranky and uncomfortable, she was lucky I didn’t shove that cart someplace she didn’t like.
But my ultimate worst experience was working at a grocery store. I was a cake decorator and the uniforms were all white. But ours were pretty much see through. So I had to wear a see through uniform to work every day. I refused to tuck in my shirt, and flat out told my bosses that as well. Make them where you can’t see me under britches and I will happily tuck the damn thing in.
Anywho, since I am out on maternity leave, your blog is keeping me sane at 3 am when I am feeding my little guy. Been reading the archives on the iPod touch. The iPod is saving my life. So I am enjoying reading all your past stuff. However, laughing while he is trying to eat? He likes it not so much.
I would NOT be happy at your grocery store. When we recently moved, I started shopping at the Super Target, but before that I used a store that gave significant discounts with their card – I would always wait until the end so I could watch the amount go down – after they had scanned everything. I would be pissed if they made me hand it in before!
.-= TUWABVB´s last blog ..When Pills Are Not Enough =-.
I used to work at a grocery store, so I have a VERY long list of bad stories.
.-= Rhi´s last blog ..The Girls’ Guide to the Perfect Portland Burger =-.
Ann Marie’s story is particularly horrifying! Yikes, that is really scary and I am so glad that she got the idea to hightail it to the police. My grocery story is less scary. The closest grocery store to the wee apartment where I used to live was right across the street from me. I walked in one day and an employee of the grocery store started chatting to me as if he knew me. I didn’t have any clue where I knew him from and thought it harmless, whatever, ok. Every time I went back there his behaviour kind of..escalated, to the point where I walked in once and got bombarded by this giant hug…it got very awkward very fast. I’m totally not ruling out that I knew him from somewhere before but I would be very hard pressed to tell you from where. I moved in with my now-husband shortly thereafter to a totally different part of the city and thus ended my grocery love affair.
The only other thing you need besides string cheese and coke zero is peanut butter. You’re set for life. Trust.
Also, I don’t eat bok choy either, and I’m totally going to go with that’s why I’m still single and have never fallen in love at the grocery store.
So, to amend: string cheese, coke zero, peanut butter AND bok choy.
.-= Just Shireen´s last blog ..…and then they made me their king! =-.
Humm. Great Post. I will be helpful to many people.