Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on April 27, 2009

I actually had an interesting weekend, this past weekend, besides the whole becoming a homeowner thing. Because that was really just Friday and I’ve kind of forgotten about it. Since I don’t live there yet.

But then I remember when I notice all the things I have yet to pack. How can you spend a whole day packing and have very little to show for it? I mean yeah, I purged a lot and I packed, but how come it still looks not empty in here. I’m going to just open all the empty cabinets and closets. It’s like the house version of a poor man walking around with his empty pockets hanging out.

But then if I did that, the cats would sleep in the empty cabinets and well, I don’t need another place to clean up cat puke.

Anyway, speaking of moving, I got a call from my apartment complex this past Saturday. It was a little after 10 AM. I remember because I was in my car on my way to get my hair done. Which meant I was up, showered and out of the house! That never happens!

The apartment lady called to remind me about the showing of my apartment. I’m sorry, what did you say apartment lady? Oh right, par for the course, they scheduled someone to come look at my apartment and only told me AN HOUR before they were set to come. Look, most weekends I’m still sleeping at 11 AM. And you damn well can be sure that if I was sleeping at 10 AM when they called, I would have IGNORED the call. And then SURPRISE! Who’s the slovenly chubster in the bedroom? Please tell me she doesn’t come with the apartment.

I voiced my displeasure with her. Which she acknowledged and then did nothing about. Much like the many complaints of pot smoking and LOUD NOISE I have made in the past year. And then I told her “well, it isn’t clean and there are boxes everywhere.” She said that was fine. I don’t think she actually understood how messy and dirty it was though. I hope they didn’t look at the bath tub.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also this past Saturday, I met Scarlet and her sister! Scarlet and I have been blog friends since I first started blogging. She was my first non-family/friend blog reader. And we’ve been friends ever since. We regularly text and email. I honestly felt like I had already known her forever, and we had never met in person.

She was in town with her sister for a graduation. I met them out downtown and we had pizza at the original Uno’s and we drank beer and laughed and told stories. It was awesome and I’m so glad we finally met!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunday was supposed to be a BIG day. I was supposed to go up to Wisconsin with my brother and his family with my nephew’s Cub Scout den to a race track. I was going because there is this guy that my sister-in-law has been trying to set me up with. He’s the uncle of one of Noah’s friends. My SIL saw photos of him and got the scoop a few months back and has been trying to figure out a way for us to meet since February.

So this dude (I don’t remember his name) races cars. So he was going to be at the track and I was going to get to meet him and we were going to fall in love because wouldn’t that just be perfect? Can you imagine an easier way for the President of the Lazy Club to get betrothed? I mean, I met my ex-boyfriend at a wine festival for Christ’s sake.

Well, we had nasty storms here. Some of the weirdest weather I’ve ever experienced. The temperatures fluctuated like 10-20 degrees in a matter of minutes. At one point, it was in the upper 30s in the north suburbs, 47 at the lake, 67 at Midway and 80 in the south suburbs. We’re talking a span of like 100 miles. It was nuts.

Anyway, the race was cancelled so I didn’t get to meet him. (His name is Chris! I remembered! Only because Chris and Kris? Totally not lame.) So there will be another meeting planned, I’m sure.

But, I set the alarm and got up in the morning as planned because I didn’t find out it was cancelled until closer to the time I had to leave. And that is when I had to call the police.

I set my alarm, but I actually forgot to turn it on. Thankfully, some asshat rang my apartment buzzer at about the time I needed to get up. Figuring it was friends of the pot heads, LIKE ALWAYS, I ignored it. I snoozed a bit, for like 10 more minutes, when the buzzer went off again. I finally was like “fine! I’ll get up!” and went to get in the shower.

At this time, I noticed that I didn’t hear the door slam. No one let Buzzer McGee in. “Hmm,” I thought. “Maybe it wasn’t friends of the pot heads.”

Just then the buzzer rang again and I pushed the TALK button and was like “WHAT?” And this jackass is all “can you let me in, I locked myself out?”

Being the most untrustworthy person ever and always expecting someone is going to come in and kill me, I asked “what unit do you live in?” And he was all “this one.” So I give him another chance “no, which NUMBER?” And he’s all “3B.”

Nice try fucker. But our units aren’t numbered like that. Also, you should have noticed it since you pushed the button that was clearly marked with a number in the 20s. We really give you all the information you need on the button you’re pressing.

So I didn’t respond to him and then got in the shower. And then when I was in the shower, Gloom and Doom came to meet me and was like “WHAT IF NO ONE ELSE ASKS HIM THOSE QUESTIONS? AND THEY JUST LET HIM IN?” So I freaked out.

I jumped out of the shower and called the city’s non-emergency number. I was like a dispatcher’s worst nightmare because I have no idea what he looked like and had no information. But they were sending a cop out anyway.

I heard the police come a few minutes later, but I’m guessing by that time, sketchy dude was long gone.

So that was my exciting story of the weekend. I am surprised that the first time I’ve ever called the police in this apartment was not because of the pot smokers.

Anyone else have any exciting stories to share from their weekend?

Categories: A Day in the Life of Me, Rants & Rants
Tags: