News Flash: Packing Sucks

Posted By on April 29, 2009

So I’ve moved a lot in my life. And most of those moves have come in the last 15 years or so. Basically from the time I moved to Arizona for college, I’ve moved a ton. Up until my current apartment, I had never lived in the same place for more than 2 years since 1995. So when it comes to packing and moving? I have it down.

That doesn’t make it any easier. Also the fact that I haven’t done it in four years and have accumulated a shit-ton of crap in that time, really makes it a pain in the ass.

You know how in your closet you have all these clothes where you’re like “I’ll fit in that again” or “Oh yeah! I forgot about that shirt! I’m so going to start wearing it again!” And then you don’t? Because there was a reason you stopped wearing it in the first place? And who are you kidding, it isn’t like you’re going to fit in those pants that are 7 sizes smaller than your current pants.

I don’t do that with clothes. I do that with stupid things like t-shirts and luggage, apparently.

So last night I figured I should do some more packing. Since I’ve booked the movers to come in a little over a week, I should really get my shit together and have it all packed and ready to go. I really want to carry nothing at all and make the men I’m PAYING to carry things do it all on their own. So I figured I could pack a lot of my drawers in my ginormous suitcase.


I know it doesn’t look huge, but it is. The top of it comes up to about my hip and I have like a 36-inch inseam. Which will only mean a lot to those of you who know what your inseam is. Trust me, it’s a big suitcase. I think I used it once. I bought it because when I would come home from SF to Chicago for vacations, I never had enough room in my suitcase. So I bought this about 6 months before I got shitcanned from the 49ers and moved back to Chicago.

Also, it is kind of heavy when it is empty, so you’re guaranteed to pay the over 50 pounds fee if you actually fill it.

Anyway, I pulled this out of the closet last night and it was HEAVY. And I’m like “what the hell is in here? Something I’ve clearly not used in FOUR YEARS.” So, crucial stuff clearly.

It was a shit-ton of duffel bags and smaller suitcases. I’m not kidding I was like Mary Poppins pulling bags out of that suitcase. It was like a magician who keeps pulling on that handkerchief in his pocket and it NEVER ENDS! It was a clown car for duffel bags! See?


I know what you’re thinking, that’s not that many duffel bags. Well these duffel bags? Are stuffed with duffel bags! Six years of working in the NFL and all I have to show for it is 17 duffel bags! All of which are large enough to hold dead bodies!

They are nice for moving (which is clearly why I hung on to them), but they will be going to Good Will. So some murderer can buy that Training Camp 2002 duffel bag to hold pieces of that hiker they chopped up in the forest. (That was morbid.)

But clearly I have a hording problem. Exhibit B:


That is a lot of glasses. You must be thinking that I have a lot of large parties and only will let my guests drink out of glass cups. You would be wrong.

These? Are all the beer glasses I’ve stolen in my life. Well, basically in the last 10 years. And actually, almost all of these came when I lived in San Francisco. It was a problem. But one glass was always cooler than the next. And now I have quite a collection. A collection that sits in the cabinet above the fridge to never see the light of day. But I can’t get rid of them. I EARNED those. And some of them are sentimental, including the one with the American flag on it that some dude was going to FIGHT me for because while he didn’t work at the bar, he didn’t appreciate me stealing.

There are about 30 in all (actually one less since my Gordon Biersch one broke when I was loading the dishwasher at my new place tonight.) (So Lori, we need to go to Gordon Biersch next time I’m there so I can get another one.)

One day, when I have a house larger than a shoebox, I plan to have a cabinet built to display all these glasses. Because I cannot get rid of them. And what else am I going to do? Drink out of them?

The only fun part of packing, besides the upcoming unpacking in my new HOME, is torturing the cats by sticking packing tape to their heads and sticking them in boxes that they can’t jump out of. I will try and capture this on video with my new camera. Because I’m sure this is exactly the reason my realtor bought me one.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


20 Responses to “News Flash: Packing Sucks”

  1. DUDE. We just moved earlier this month, and it was a month-long process in moving shit and the like. Such a pain. And from one city (South City) to another 20 minutes away (San Mateo). AND we’re going to have to do it again come fall (to the Sunset). I feel for ya, I do. I’m just dreading packing for my two-week, NYC-TN-AL-FL trip on Friday! That’s enough for me.

    Camels & Chocolates last blog post..It Was All Gravy Until Meningitis Came Into Play

  2. Jules says:

    Packing DOES suck! One of the reasons I DON’T want to move! I feel for you! But you’ll love your new place once you’re all settled!!

    Juless last blog post..And Diagnosis One Is……

  3. slynnro says:

    Well, if you ever do decide to get rid of those glasses, mail them directly to Mr. A. Our cabinets have just as many stolen glasses (but we actually use ours).

    slynnros last blog post..Scenes From a Marriage: The Difference Between Boys and Girls Ed.

  4. Julienne says:

    I tried to be organized when we packed (ie: separate boxes for each room), but the boy was all for just throwing stuff in random boxes. Then I couldn’t find any of my shoes. They were with the toaster and alarm clock.

    Juliennes last blog post..Random Yumminess – Part 3.

  5. Having just moved, I absolutely agree that packing sucks. Even worse is all those unexpected finds. I can’t tell you how many times I lost my shit over finding something my husband had tucked away in a forgotten corner. I mean, really, who still has their Little League PARTICIPATION (not winning, just simply being there) trophies from 30 years ago?

    Jen on the Edges last blog post..Two days to go…

  6. We steal a lot of beer glasses too. Some of them even say “Stolen Lame Beer Glass” on them. But we use them as everyday drinking glasses, so I feel justified.

    nancypearlwannabes last blog post..Testing… Testing…

  7. Christina says:

    Tap + cat head = fun!

    Christinas last blog post..Water logged

  8. Issy says:

    I stole a Sam Adams glass with the orange basketball in the bottom to. Except I use mine and the dishwasher has taken off most of the orange from the bottom.

    But damn did that glass look cool when I was drunk the night I stole it!

  9. Oh my god, I thought Jon was the only one who had that big of a collection of (stolen) pint glasses! But yeah, packing does suck. It had only been 3 years since we last moved, but we still accumulated a lot of stuff.

    La Petite Chics last blog post..Holly

  10. Ree says:

    Stealing beer glasses. I knew I needed a different hobby…I think I’ll start my own collection. 😉

    Rees last blog post..Seven more things about meme? Poor youyou.

  11. Lori says:

    so excited that you will move into your new place soon! congrats on the close. yes, we can get you another glass – come visit soon! 100 degrees is just around the corner…

    Loris last blog post..funny 80s video

  12. to be honest, i didn’t read this post. ever since the media has made the world paranoid of swine flu, i was just wondering what bacon thinks about it?


    richard $tabones last blog post..US Open Cup Bracket

  13. Angella says:

    Can I start calling you a bag lady?


    Angellas last blog post..We’re So Gangsta

  14. JRM says:

    Those duffel bags within the duffel bags remind of those wooden nesting dolls from Russia. You think you’re in the smallest one, but lo, you open its head and there is an even tinier baby.

    The other thing about duffel bags that can hold dead people, is that dead people are heavy! Plus carrying them up the el train stairs in the winter? Blows.

  15. Scarlet says:

    I have packed 2 boxes so far…all DVDs. Yikes!

    And I LOVE pint glasses. so good. when filled with beer, especially.

    Scarlets last blog post..Rain Song

  16. Jacki says:

    We take glasses too. I haven’t seen the Sam Adams one here locally but I have a feeling we’d take it if we saw it. I switched purses last week, much to the dismay of the husband because he found some margarita shakers that he needed.
    We’ve actually found that if we ask the server they don’t care if we take it as long as they are able to pretend they don’t see it. One lady brought us a to go bag a couple weeks ago. I couldn’t figure out why she was bringing us a bag when we clearly ate all our food but then it clicked, she was gifting us a way to remove our glasses. They were large ones too…crap I’m rambling.
    (I stuff crap in suitcases too!)

  17. Sara says:

    See, we always have packers that come and pack everything up for us which is nice. However, packers unpack by turning the boxes upside down and dumping them on the floor and unwrapping the breakables (which does make you put everything away) so it’s the unpacking and putting away that I hate. The purging is the best part of moving though, because we never bother otherwise, it’s just too easy to put stuff in the basement.

    Saras last blog post..Girl fights off muggers with marching band baton

  18. Darcey says:

    I’ll be moving again in the next 3 months, so I made a promise to myself that for every item I bring home from Hawaii (any type of souvenir) I have to throw something that I don’t need (that isn’t actually trash) away.

    Also, I have a ton of those glasses, too – most of them come from the Sweetwater Brewery in town, where for $8, you get a pint glass and 4 pints of beer.

  19. Kimberly says:

    Don;t give up the glass collection! You just need a pretty china cabinet to show them off! If you want, you can use the Barbie bedroom. I’m a sharer 🙂

  20. We have just as many glasses. Not all were stolen, but a respectable amount. We’re moving soon, too, and I can already clearly picture the fight Mike and I will have over those glasses.