Almost Friday Bullets

Posted By on December 11, 2008

Because I have things to say and not enough brain power to write sentences and transitions and conclusions.

  • I got home from Pittsburgh tonight. It was only a few hours later than was planned. Because as soon as my plane was set to take off for Chicago, the rain in Pittsburgh turned to freezing rain. And apparently you can fly in rain and snow, but not freezing rain. Because you can’t de-ice freezing rain.
  • I don’t actually believe this. But this is what they told us as to why we took off almost 2 hours late.
  • Also, it isn’t as if it never snows in Pittsburgh. So it doesn’t make sense that the de-ice man is so slow in his process he has to do it twice. I’m pretty sure today wasn’t the first time a plane ever had to be de-iced in Pittsburgh.
  • The Southwest flight attendant told us that the de-icing liquid smells like syrup.
  • It kind of does.
  • Short people should be banned from the exit row. Especially on Southwest when it is the ONE TIME I don’t have to pay more to not have to have my kneecaps in my nostrils.
  • The whole point of the exit row is EXTRA LEG ROOM. If your legs come up to my knees, you are too short to sit there. IT IS A WASTE.
  • Someone on Twitter asked if short people were allowed to sit in aisle seats. The answer to that is “I don’t care where you sit if you’re short, as long as it isn’t in the exit row.”
  • Bloggers did not invent writing in bulleted form. It’s been around even before there were blogs. We all do it.
  • While waiting to board the plane in Pittsburgh, the gate attendant announced “Would Passenger Stuck please return to the podium? Passenger Stuck?”
  • I giggled like a fucking idiot and said out loud, very Beavis and Butthead-esque, “hahahaha Passenger Stuck.”
  • Thankfully the girl next to me laughed.
  • I’m still laughing about it now.
  • Maybe that’s why the plane was REALLY delayed. They had to get him un-stuck.
  • When I landed at Midway, I proceeded to the first shop to buy Swedish Fish.
  • As I was walking to baggage claim, I was eating my Swedish Fish on the moving walkway. As I stepped off the end of one, paying quite a bit of attention to the woman constantly telling me that indeed the moving walkway was now ending, I slipped and fell.
  • I didn’t drop a single red fish.
  • But looked behind me like CLEARLY there was a wet spot or something.
  • Because I would never do something stupid like that.
  • After I made it home, in rush hour traffic that was not helped by the Bears game tonight, all I wanted was to get a burrito and have a beer and watch TV.
  • So I called the place by my house, my burrito lifeline, when I got home and there was NO ANSWER. I called three times. I was pissed, to say the least. So I decided to walk past the store front, just in case they were super busy and that’s why they weren’t answering. And if not, there’s a taqueria a block further.
  • Thankfully my burrito place was just busy. So I walked in and ordered my burrito and was a happy, happy lady.
  • Until I got home and realized that my asshat cats ate two bowls of food in two days. So as I refilled their food bowl, the entire contents of the cat food container dumped out on the floor.
  • I swept it all up and put it back in the container. I’m not wasting cat food. They can eat some litter and hair with their food.
  • I mean, they lick their assholes for Christ’s sake.

And now I’m going to bed because I have a busy weekend and I got my Christmas cards in the mail and I really need to get those out to all my 130-plus adoring fans this weekend. Plus I think I’m still on East Coast time.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


24 Responses to “Almost Friday Bullets”

  1. Wow, I’m tired/stressed/jetlagged just from reading that.

    Camels & Chocolates last blog post..The Best Way to Spread Christmas Cheer*

  2. jodifur says:

    I blame Pittsburgh. I mean, I know its not Pittsburgh’s fault, but terrible things happen to me when I visit Pittsburgh. And my inlaws live there, so I’m there a lot.

    jodifurs last blog post..Shoe Friday #9

  3. tutugirl1345 says:

    I’m glad that we at least get an aisle seat. 🙂

    Coming back from business trips are the worst. If you end up beating the pulp out of someone today from your post-travel stress, I’ll totally bail you out. Cause I have the urge to do that every time I get back from one of those trips.

    tutugirl1345s last blog post..Stolen Meme

  4. Mahnee says:

    You fell? Like flat out fell? I have to digest that. You NEVER fall. I do. Hope you’re not sore today.

    Welcome home! Missed you lots!

  5. Welcome home. I’m glad your plane was fully de-iced so that you made it safely.

    Jen on the Edges last blog post..Top o’ the marrow to you*

  6. ali says:

    all hail bullet points. this is the best post ever. passenger stuck? swedish fish? falling? 🙂

    alis last blog post..buddy the elf! what’s your favorite color?

  7. Having my plane de-iced scares the crap out of me. Hope the burrito was good. Ef’n cats. You want another one?

    ballerinatoess last blog post..Grace in Small Things, Day 9

  8. Ree says:

    I know all about that hour time difference. 😉

    Rees last blog post..Grace in Small Things: 4/365

  9. Mmm, burritos and beer . . . mmmm . . .

    . . . almost yummy enough to make me forget 130 cards. 130?!? Seriously???

    PS – at 5’6 1/4, am I tall enough to sit in the exit row as I always try to do? I’m guessing my odds aren’t good.

    Legallyblondemels last blog post..Important, Special Note to "Laris Pilton" via Secretary Paulson

  10. JRM says:

    So funny. I too, would have giggled at passenger Stuck.

  11. It’s good to know that if there was a choice between your own life and the life of jellied, fish-shaped candies that you’d sacrifice yourself first. If only your governor was a selfless…

    thecoconutdiariess last blog post..The Grumpy Meme

  12. Rhi says:

    I have a new nickname for you.

    Rhis last blog post..In which I declare my love for the interwebs

  13. Kristie says:

    Swedish fish are my absolute favortie candy. I am so glad you didn’t spill them, it would have been such a waste. And, also? They are vegan!! YAY!

    Kristies last blog post..Online Dating distasters

  14. Chris says:

    At first I read it as “Passenger SUCK” which meant I could’t stop snickering.

    Chriss last blog post..Thinking

  15. pseudostoops says:

    Please share name of go-to burrito place. I have not found satisfactory burrito place yet in Chicago. That and bubble tea are the things I still mourn about my former California life.

    pseudostoopss last blog post..But will my body listen? Noooooo.

  16. Julie says:

    Mmmmmmm, Swedish fish. Hope you didn’t hurt yourself on the moving walkway. Mmmmmmmm, burritos and beer. I am living through you.

  17. Nic says:

    I am sorry that I sometimes take the exit row seat. The last time I did it on Southwest was because I was flying with my 6’3″ coworker.

    I’m so glad the burrito place was open for you. That just off the plane hunger suuuuuccckkks.

    Nics last blog post..Santa Claus is coming to town

  18. Giggle Pixie says:

    I have a Beavis and Butthead moment whenever I heard someone (especially someone in authority) say the word “duty”.

    Hehehehehe…hehe…hehehehe…he said doodie…hehehe…hehehe.

    As that de-icing man is Pittsburgh is waaaaay past being due for retirement. Sorry buddy, but you’ve got to go to make room for someone who can actually DO this job. *kick in his ass*

  19. Giggle Pixie says:

    I have a Beavis and Butthead moment whenever I heard someone (especially someone in authority) say the word “duty”.

    Hehehehehe…hehe…hehehehe…he said doodie…hehehe…hehehe.

    As that de-icing man is Pittsburgh is waaaaay past being due for retirement. Sorry buddy, but you’ve got to go to make room for someone who can actually DO this job. *kick in his ass*

    Giggle Pixies last blog post..And Now, A Great Holiday Baking Idea!

  20. regan says:

    I’ve swept up cat food in the past with bits of litter and hair in it. My cats ate it and are still living. Personally, I think you can’t kill cats. They are little furry robots.

    regans last blog post..let’s not build something together

  21. Manic Mommy says:

    This was funny! Passenger Stuck! ahhahhahah.

    Manic Mommys last blog post..THe BuLLy oN THe BuS

  22. Scarlet says:

    East Coast Time RULES!!!!!

    actually, I’m jealous of time zones where TV shows start earlier.

    Scarlets last blog post..Be Somebody

  23. Angella says:

    “Passenger Stuck”

    Cannot. Stop. Laughing.

    Angellas last blog post..Breaking Down Barriers

  24. metalia says:

    Just so you know? I also just laughed out loud at “Passenger Stuck.”

    Also, I would now like a burrito.

    metalias last blog post..Baby v. New Toy: The Four Stages