She Works Hard For Her Money

Posted By on November 16, 2008

I have a really hard time coming up with titles. That’s the hardest part of the blog writing process for me. Am I the only one? Oh how many times I wanted to type “Insert Title Here: Part 796” for the title and call it a day. I would save it until the last thing, but then it screws up the whole permalink thing and bloggy speak, blah, blah, blah,  AND writing titles is hard.

Hey! So I had my first day at work on Friday. I will not go into any details on here, but would like to say THANK YOU to all of you who wished me luck! My first day went really well. I learned a lot and everyone is really nice. Right before I left on Friday, I spun in a circle in the lobby and sang “I think I’m gonna like it here” a la Annie. (I even wore a red shirt.)

It was nice to start on a Friday and get my feet wet with the being alert and paying attention and using my brain on more than “Me hungry. Need food. Call for burrito. NOM NOM NOM.” It was a packed day with the learning and a really good way to get back into the working world. Because when the day was over, BAM! it was the weekend!

The only problem with that was that I fell right back into my old unemployed habits as soon as I got home. I came home and drank a lot of wine and then stayed up too late and then slept in late on both Saturday and Sunday morning. I didn’t try to get back into the routine or anything. And now it is Sunday night and I’m not even tired. Monday will be a blast. Thank God we have a Starbucks in the lobby.

I’m sure this full week coming up will be rough come Friday when I’ve had to use my brain for five whole days straight. And then I will feel I have earned a weekend of sleeping in. As opposed to this weekend where I was just drunk and/or lazy.


In other weekend news, I actually missed unemployment when I went down to do my laundry on a Sunday afternoon. Did you know that like EVERYONE does their laundry on Sunday afternoons? Or is that just my apartment complex? Oh, mid-weekday afternoon laundry time, I miss you so.


I also spent too much of my leftover severance money on clothes today. I wanted to go shopping last week, but didn’t get around to it. (I also apparently didn’t get around to doing laundry in the middle of the day.) So I figured since it was freezing out today (oh, yes it was people. IT SNOWED!) that I would do a little shopping online. I found some cute things and I’m sure that some things won’t fit right and I’ll have to return them, which will make the amount I spent a little less obscene.

But this way maybe I’ll be able to do The Working Closet, hopefully without Slynnro openly mocking me in front of strangers. Now I just need a full length mirror.


What else did I do this weekend? Not a whole lot. I cried over Dr. Mark Greene coming back to ER. (Seriously people, he didn’t even have to say anything, he just showed up and the tears, they were a flowin’.) And I’m happy to know that I have fellow ER lovers/sobbers on Twitter to commiserate with.

Oh, right, and I signed up for online dating. (GASP!) At It is one site I have never tried. It’s like eHarmony, what with the personality matching and stuffs. But since eHarmony tends to lean more conservatively, I figured I’d try this one. Right now I’ve only done the test and uploaded my photos. I’m trying to go in with an open mind and not be so Judgey McJudgerson. WHICH IS HARD TO DO, letmetellyou.

Which brings me back full circle to the headline/blog title thing. Because I NEVER know what to write on those online dating profiles. I always go full cheese, people. Because I think it is funny. But then I forget that if you don’t know me, you probably think I’m the LAMEST PERSON EVER. Well, actually you may think that if you do know me. Bygones.

Like for instance, my first “headline” was “Snarky, Sports Fan Looking For Her Go-To Receiver.” Which I can’t even type without either laughing or vomiting. I finally changed it to “Loves To Laugh.” Which, too, is lame, but kind of cute, and also something I repeat in my profile part. Because I do love to laugh. Mostly at my own jokes. I’m fun at parties.

I went for not a lot of info in the profile. I’ve never done that before. I’m going to see how this works.

Really I should just write:

Look, I love TV and am a lazy slob. Also, I like to drink a lot of alcohol. Different kinds – wine, beer, whiskey – so clearly I don’t discriminate. I don’t like to work out, my pants are too tight and sometimes I talk to my two cats. (Yes, TWO.) I’m really funny. I love to laugh, especially when people fall. I have a blog, so don’t do anything stupid, or I will have to talk about you. I like sports, but not playing them. (Read above where I mention being lazy. Please don’t fail the reading comprehension portion of the exam.) I prefer watching sports in a bar, which combines my three loves – TV, sports and alcohol. Do I sound like your kind of girl? Hit me back, you.

P.S. I’m tall, so midgets need not apply.

I wonder how well that would go over?

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


32 Responses to “She Works Hard For Her Money”

  1. Jessica Bern says:

    I don’t normally do this, I swear, but please read my most recent post b/c it is exactly on this dating topic, EXACTLY.

    As far as everyone doing their stuff on the weekends, now that my kid is in kindergarten we can only go on vacation WHEN EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD is going as well. I’m dying here. 🙂

    Jessica Berns last blog post..WHERE DO YOU GO FROM HERE?

  2. I love your first dating headline, plus I think it’s a real attention grabber. I also liked your “about me” paragraph, but I’m not good at these things. For me, when in doubt, I revert to sarcasm which has made me appear both bitter and resentful in the past (not exactly incorrect, but whatever).

    Honestly though, I’m not a big fan of “about me” paragraphs because I think all of the people out there with their buoyantly happy BS are really just trying to hide that they are two keystrokes away from slitting their wrists. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

    Perhaps you should ask bacon what bacon would do?

  3. Kirsten says:

    Working nights, I have been so out of prime time TV, since I go to work at 7pm. I’ve been watching ER on Saturday I watched 3 eps to catch myself up. Seriously. Mark Greene appeared on screen and my mouth dropped and I sucked in air… and bawled like a friggin fool. Same with when Shane West appeared in the Frankenstein outfit. *snifflesobsnort*

    I can’t even IMAGINE what I will be like when Ross & Carter reappear. GAH.

    Congrats on the good first day of work, and good luck on the online date scene.

  4. slynnro says:

    Okay, so I just about fell out of my chair with the “go-to receiver” line, but I can see that playing well with men and it does show an understanding of how people speak about sports.

    Also, the only episode of ER I have ever seen is the one where Anthony Edwards dies. And I cried my eyes out. I can’t even imagine if I were an actual fan of the show…

    slynnros last blog post..NoImYoSeMo: Volume Two

  5. LarryLilly says:

    As a guy, I would get who and what you are about if you had posted that instead of some sappy thing that you probably wrote because a woman’s mind is programmed to do/say things that will be judged by other women. Do THIS from the perspective of ONLY appealing to men. Men like forward, to-the-point stuff. Unless the guy is like a woman, in which case, that relationship is over and done like a eight yard pass on a fourth and twenty.

    Get my drift?


    LarryLillys last blog post..Great, now I am being told I am a woman

  6. Raven says:

    I went with the honesty snark profile once and you know what? It didn’t DISSUADE them! At the very least you’ll get more interesting e-mails to post to us in response, yes your dating is all about US!

    Ravens last blog post..flotsam

  7. Issy says:

    The one time I tried online dating, I was totally sarcastic and snarky in my About Me profile, didn’t take it seriously at all. I had to wade through a few duds, but the 4th guy I went out with, I ended up marrying 3 years later.

    Moral of the story – you are snarky and sarcastic and the guy who is attracted to that in your profile will probably be a lot better for you than the ones who just judge by the profile picture.

  8. I think most guys would find your profile a relief! I especially like the part about your blog. I think it says “please do not email me if you are an idiot, thanks.”

    nancypearlwannabes last blog post..Testing… Testing…

  9. Jenn says:

    That is hilarious! Glad day-one at the new job went well. Good luck with online dating! I am happy that you are giving it a chance.

  10. moo says:

    There’s been an EXPLOSION of people suddenly signing up for these matching sites (well, out of the people I read, anyway). Maybe it’s the holidays coming up that provokes it?

    I always think it’s best to be honest about what you want and don’t want on those sites … and go into it with an open mind.

    Also … am somewhat jealous to see what all the fuss is about. But I think my husband probably wouldn’t understand if I set up a profile 😉

    moos last blog post..guess what else happened while I was away

  11. I too hate the headlines. I always always leave them till last and brainstorm for much longer over the title than the actual post itself. I try to find something cute to pull people in and tend to end up with something like “Yesterday I ate bread”

    Dutchess of Kickballs last blog post..Lessons Learned

  12. Sleepynita says:

    I really think you should actually use that ‘about me’. Not only is it honest but it is PAINFULLY funny.

    Also: It makes you most men’s dream woman. Drinking, Sports and Beer? My husband would marry you!

    Sleepynitas last blog post..Things I Wish I Said.

  13. ali says:

    what? that last one is PERFECT. i mean, of course, other than the talking to cats part. heheh.

    alis last blog post..THE moms

  14. Noelle says:

    I actually like coming up with titles, and when in doubt, I use part of a song, like I did today. But yes, there have been days when the whole post is written, and I feel all kinds of stumped for a title, or what to use for tags. I hate when that happens.

    My headline for online dating has always been “back in the pool,” but then that got really boring to me, so I just stopped online dating.

    Noelles last blog post..Who are you? (Whoo hoo hoo hoo)

  15. “I prefer watching sports in a bar, which combines my three loves – TV, sports and alcohol.”

    I’d say just have that in your profile, and you’ll get about a gazillion replies. Seriously. You are 95% of men’s dream girl.

    Amanda Nicoles last blog post..see my vest

  16. I don’t know anything about online dating, but what would be the harm in posting your uber honest paragraph about yourself?

    Jen on the Edges last blog post..Mamarazzi Monday: What to buy a future king?

  17. Lori says:

    why not try the snarky profile out? you might meet some interesting people who can appreciate your sense of humor that way.

  18. Giggle Pixie says:

    You crack me the hell UP! 🙂 Hey, I’d totally let your prospective suiters know that if they fall or get stumbling drunk or try to use the drunk dialing defense on you that you will be all over them on your blog. I know I would! LOL

    I’m so happy you’re loving your new job! And a Starbucks in the lobby? Yeah, now THAT’s where I’d like to work!

  19. Allison says:

    Glad that the new job is looking good!

    I think you should totally go with the profile you wrote above. It’s hilarious…and will probably weed out any losers that you won’t want to talk to.

    I’ve done a few of the online sites myself and also hate the ‘tag line’ thingy. I usually end up with “loves to laugh” also. Last time I tried “geek wanted.” Neither have worked in my favor…

    Allisons last blog post..Proud

  20. regan says:

    hehehe, go-to receiver. Another good one for future use could be “pitcher looking for a catcher”

    regans last blog post..mascaras a’plenty

  21. jennster says:

    you WON my giveaway for the coupon entertainment book!!! email me your zip code so that i can have the person get in touch with you and send you out the book for your area!!!! 🙂

    jennsters last blog post..CONTEST!!!!

  22. Vanessa says:

    I have a hard time coming up with titles too. I want to just write “TITLE” and be done with it. Congrats on things going well with the new job.

  23. “Snarky, Sports Fan Looking For Her Go-To Receiver”…that sounded a bit like an add on a gay dating site so don’t be surprised if you get responses from guys named Bear.

    But I LOVE, love, love the honestly angle and thing you will weed out some dorky, on-line gamers with that one. You may still end up with guys named Bear, though.

    thecoconutdiariess last blog post..Queen of Random Thinking

  24. Scarlet says:

    I’m the same way and I think that’s why I haven’t done online dating. I don’t think I would translate well into a paragraph. i thought your one at the end was awesome, but maybe it’s because I sorta know you. The honesty was hilarious, though. And I also think I’m scared of a little person showing up so that line made me laugh.

    Scarlets last blog post..Down In The Dark

  25. Scarlet says:

    Oh, and all of my titles are song titles and I never really think about them.

    Scarlets last blog post..Down In The Dark

  26. Ree says:

    I would date you if I read that.

    No, seriously.

    Rees last blog post..Title? Who needs a flippin’ title?

  27. How about:
    “Alcoholic, Cat-Loving, Midget-Hater”
    That’ll make ’em flock!! 🙂

    All kidding aside, I hope you get some good ones.

    The Over-Thinkers last blog post..Sometimes…All I need is the air that I breath and to driii-ink.

  28. Seriously, titles are the worst. I find that mine usually entail song titles (observe below), a famous quote, or another random cliche. NEVER anything slightly original.

    And I am DYING over your online dating summary. PLEASE POST ON YOUR PROFILE! How much fun would it be to see what kind of responses you received?!?

    Camels & Chocolates last blog post..I Can See Clearly Now

  29. witchypoo says:

    I’d totally answer an ad like that.

    witchypoos last blog post..Skinny Bitch Gets Dumped

  30. Mary says:

    I actually love that description, I think you should put it up. Seriously, at least the guys will know exactly what they’re getting into, no false “walks on the beach” descriptions here! And as someone who met her husband on, I feel like I can pretend to know what I’m talking about!

  31. I too hate thinking up titles.

  32. I feel you so hard on the title retardation. Why is that so hard? I cannot tell you how many times I have written a full post and then let it sit in my drafts folder for DAYS UPON DAYS simply because I could not think of a title and I am a perfectionist freak.

    And good luck with the online dating! I swear I do it more for the blog fodder than for the actual dating. This may or may not be why I am still single

    Laurie | Your Ill-fitting Overcoats last blog post..All Dressed Up with No One to Love