Drunken Birthday Extravaganza

Posted By on September 16, 2008

If you didn’t know (from constant reminders and my drunken Twittering), this past Sunday was my birthday. I’m now officially in my 30s and celebrated the most anti-climactic birthday ever. I mean, really, the only thing I decided I could say about my 31st birthday was that I am now only four years away from becoming eligible to be President of the United States. Will you vote for me?

Normally my birthday is my favorite day of the year. As you might have guessed, because I am a blogger who shares my personal stories on the internet because I am a famewhore, I kind of like attention. So nothing is better than a whole day ALL ABOUT ME!

This year, not so much. One, I’m starting to feel older and had a few “what am I doing with my life? I should have accomplished more by now” panic moments in the last few weeks. On top of it, being unemployed, I haven’t much felt like partying and celebrating. I’ve felt like drinking, but have not felt like showering.  So it wasn’t really my desire to go out and celebrate. Which is why I didn’t send out the evite until a few days before and why most people had plans and couldn’t make it.

But I went. And I had a great time. It was a small party, but we had a good time last Friday in advance celebration of my birthday.

My mom and my friends braved the HORRIBLE rain and drank some libations with me and put up with my drunken slurring and occasional spitting.

After the first bar, my friend Shelly and I headed to a bar in my neighborhood and we caught up and got into a discussion about her situation with a guy she had met recently who had not called back. He happens to be a Chicago cop, so when a police car rolled by the bar, we decided to beckon them to come in. No, really. I was waving at them to come in. They just thought we were waving and probably drunk. So they waved back and they were feeling really good because well, I’m stacked.

So what would a normal person do after that? They would just laugh at the situation. Not me. I was drunk. I blew them a kiss.

(Re-enacted for the purposes of hilarity.)

Sunday was my actual birthday and I had plans to go to a townie bar on the South Side with some of my friends from my old job to watch the Bears game. We drank A LOT of these buckets.

We watched the Bears lose, stayed way too long and too many “locals” bought me shots. It is a good thing I do not have a job to go to. Because I just got silly drunk.

And then I drank so many bomb shots (Cherry Bombs and Jager Bombs), too many Coors Lights and then decided it was a good idea to give my phone number to a guy they call White Rob. Why do they call him that, you ask? Because White Rob is white and they don’t want to confuse him with Black Rob, who is black. All who probably spend too much time at the same bar.

I’m pretty sure my friend Ruby and I are going to take a break from this place for awhile. We overindulged and are too close to becoming regulars. And that is a goal to save for my 32nd birthday.

See the rest of the drunken debauchery photo evidence here.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


24 Responses to “Drunken Birthday Extravaganza”

  1. You look very happy:) So glad you had a great birthday!

  2. slynnro says:

    You are the only friend in my life (besides Metalia, a true legit fan) that I will forgive for wearing a sports jersey- so there’s my gift. Happy Birthday.

  3. I think I already said happy birthday, but in case I didn’t, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! And also, I love the two Robs.

    nancypearlwannabes last blog post..Testing… Testing…

  4. ali says:

    you are the BEST drunk.

    alis last blog post..maybe october will be a cheap month…

  5. Mouncie123 says:

    So glad you had some fun for your Birthday. I spent the weekend sopping my floors from a leaky roof in all that lovely rain we had.

  6. Lys says:

    Again, Happy Birthday and didn’t you get the memo – it’s not a birthday weekend, it’s a birthday MONTH (or so my friend Amy says). The photos were CLASSIC! Glad you had fun!

    Lyss last blog post..The Part Where I Get Spooked…

  7. Nancy says:

    Happy Birthday!

    You look (and sound) like you celebrated quite well =)

    Nancys last blog post..Making Jam, Lucy and Ethel Style

  8. Candy says:

    Mahnee is lovely. Happy Birthday! It looks like you had an awesome time.

    And I totally think you should date Black Rob. Because White Rob thinks he’s all that, you can tell by his eyes.

    Candys last blog post..Diabolical Dog

  9. Alcohol + a camera = evidence for the future.

    I’m just sayin’…

    Jen on the Edges last blog post..That’s the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!

  10. Lori says:

    Glad it was fun!

  11. Elizabeth says:

    I found your blog the other day through She Likes Purple and I just thought I would say hi, and Happy Birthday, and also you are funny 🙂
    And Happy Birthday again.

    Elizabeths last blog post..PSA – Celiac Disease

  12. Mahnee says:

    Ick! Mahnee looks like she has a pin head & huge boobs. The boob part is OK but not the pin head!

    Love the other pictures!

  13. Showering is overrated.

    The Popcorn Bowls last blog post..The Stench

  14. Raven says:

    Belated Happy Birthday! I play Hurricane Card for my lateness. Welcome to being closer to as old as I am 🙂

    Ravens last blog post..wanting wednesdays

  15. Noelle says:

    Dude, that looks like one great time. Sorry I’m belated in this, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    Noelles last blog post..Mommypants

  16. Willow says:

    Happy belated birthday. I’ve not been around for a few days so I just wanted to say in response to your last post, good on you for walking out of that dentist. I don’t care what anyone’s profession is, no-one has the right to make another person feel bad.

    Willows last blog post..You’re Fired

  17. Evil Genius says:

    Happy birthday! Looks like you had a great time – good for you. Da Bears!

    Evil Geniuss last blog post..My…

  18. Rhi says:

    There is no such thing as too many Coors Lights.

    That is all.

    Rhis last blog post..Things you should go look at

  19. Well, at least your Bears didn’t get SHAFTED like my Chargers. I swear if they didn’t wear tight pants, I wouldn’t watch football at all…

    Can’t wait for future White Rob posts, especially those where you explain to your kids how mommy and daddy met and you tell them some lie about meeting at church and then your kids find this post in an archive and are all “nuh-uh!” and then they go all Brisol Palin on you for not telling them the truth.

    thecoconutdiariess last blog post..Before and After

  20. …how about “Bristol” instead of Brisol. I think I got a contact buzz from your post…

    thecoconutdiariess last blog post..Before and After

  21. Sarah says:

    It looks like you had a great time despite the deluge!

    Sarahs last blog post..Slightly Better Mood

  22. Angella says:

    Happy Birthday, friend. I already told you that I love that last photo, but I really do.

    Angellas last blog post..I Don’t Need It. I Don’t Need It.

  23. Ree says:

    Well, you had to do something to numb that tooth. XXOO Happy Birthday (Late…that’s me)

    Rees last blog post..I May Get 2nd and 3rd Place

  24. Mary says:

    Happy belated Birthday! I’m glad you were able to twice partake in drunken debauchery. That’s a requirement for a good birthday!