Commence Minor Meltdown

Posted By on September 3, 2008

*Disclaimer: I swear one day in the near future (hopefully) I will talk about something else besides work and job searching.*

So today was probably my first real freak out about the whole losing my job/HOW WILL I PAY MY RENT situation that is forthcoming in like two days.

Remember that job I gushed about last week? The one I turned down a job in the suburbs for? Turned down on the hope that I would get this job I wanted and was totally going to kick ass in the role because of my mad writing skillz, yo? Well, I didn’t get it.

I’m actually not too shocked. I hadn’t heard from them, blamed it on the holiday and the HR woman being out on vacation recently, but knew deep down they were itching to hire someone soon and if that someone was me, I would have heard from them.

I’m also not too surprised because I know I bombed the writing test. “What?” you ask. “How could that be possible?” Well, because this company was in the financial sector. With banking terms and acronyms. Shit I know nothing about. And after the writing test I had a sneaking suspicion that it wouldn’t come easy to me, that I wouldn’t ever really grasp the lingo and be passionate about finance and banking and accounting. We all know how the consulting thing went over.

So like the day I got my notice from my current job, today was no different. I wasn’t overly shocked, but I was sad and disappointed all the same. Most of that sadness and disappointment comes from the fact that I overreact.

For instance, here is an excerpt of an email between me and my mom:

ME: I didn’t get the financial writers job. Woe is me. Will be unemployed forever. (Even though, technically I’m not unemployed until Monday. I overreact AND I’m melodramatic. Cue the tiny violins.)

MOM: Oh, I’m so sorry honey. That really sucks. But you’ll be fine. It wasn’t meant to be. You’ll have another job before you know it. And now you get some time off.

ME: Did you not hear me the first time? WOE. IS. ME. WOE. A LOT OF WOE. WOE I TELL YA!

MOM: It just means something even better is out there.

ME: I know, but this just means that I will have to use all my severance on bills and rent and not on flat screen TVs and iPhones and paying off the ridiculously large amount of debt I have.

MOM: You will find a job in the next three months. I know it.


MOM: I have to go. I’m not feeling so well. (She actually said that but I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the one making her ill. If anyone should be sick to their stomach, it is me. My WOE is making me sick.)

I know everything happens for a reason. Please, I’m like a walking advertisement for that. That is what it is going to say on my tombstone. Anyone at my funeral who will be sad will be smacked in the face with a slice of bacon and told, loudly, EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON BITCH. That is how much I believe it.

I know I’ll find a job. And I’ll find one sooner rather than later. And I’m pretty sure I’ll find one before my severance runs out. And I’m now convinced that I will find one I love and that suits me and that is a good fit for me.

But that doesn’t stop me from freaking out and going from calm to batshit crazy in .001 seconds. Which sadly is par for the course in the Fabulous Life of Kristabella.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


38 Responses to “Commence Minor Meltdown”

  1. I have so had that conversation with my mother. And, you know, other people.

    Woe. Misery. Despair. Freak the hell out. Rebuff all attempts at cheering up. Exeunt.

    Good luck in your search.

    Superfantastics last blog post..The Patriot Act

  2. Willow says:

    Awwww, that sucks. I don’t know why, but I was convinced you were going to get the job just because we wanted you to, like some kind of mind voodoo thing (I need to get out more)

    I’m glad you know that better things are on their way, hold on to that thought. In the meantime though, if you want a little wallow, then have it. You’ve earned it.

    Willows last blog post..79,000 forgotten words

  3. Amber says:

    That sucks. But you know, financial writing could have turned out to be pretty scary, precisely because of all those acronyms and stuff. Or maybe I’m just projecting my total fear of anything with the word “financial” in it onto the job.

    I think things will be better once you actually finish up at the job you’re in. Yes, you’ll be officially unemployed, but you won’t be dealing with the whole heap o’crap that is going into a job that just laid you off every day, so try to take the weekend to relax and I’m sure it will all start to get better…

    Ambers last blog post..Still ill

  4. Evil Genius says:

    I want to be all positive and Pollyanna and shit, but to be honest I would do the exact same thing you’re doing. But you know what else? Just when I’m in the midst of a full freak-out, THE RIGHT ONE falls right into my lap. Seriously, out of the fucking blue it just happens. It’ll happen for you too, I’m sure of it.

    Evil Geniuss last blog post..Kindergarten Refresher

  5. Raven says:

    It wasn’t totally right either. It wasn’t as bad as the commuting job so it was easier to get excited about but it had it’s own flaws and drawbacks, which is why you didn’t get it. Something RIGHT FOR YOU will come.

    It’s okay that you freak the fuck out as long as you can put on the charade of normal long enough to go on interviews. *grin*

  6. slynnro says:

    Even in your Time of Woe, you still manage to be hilarious. Have you thought of persuing a career in stand up?

  7. Mahnee says:

    I really was sick!!!! And not from “woes”….still don’t feel good today, plus my left knee stopped working. Just stopped. While walking to the bus.

    You seriously will find a job you like soon. Or get that book in your head down on paper & be a rich celebrity who can have GOOD doctors fix my knee.

  8. moo says:

    woe. despair.

    I feel you … not like it’s going to make you feel any better, but my mom hasn’t found an ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT position in the 9 months she’s been looking. She’s been top 3, top 2 several times but nada. This job market, she blows.

    moos last blog post..pregnancy makes you lose more than inhibitions

  9. Save the money, you don’t want the iPhone. Chris has had nothing but problems with his. Apparently, just because you waited in line for 4 hours to get something doesn’t mean it will actually, you know, work.

    nancypearlwannabes last blog post..Testing… Testing…

  10. dabby says:

    Financial writing? Kiss of death. You would have DIED from repressed creativity and boredom. It DOES suck though that the severance has to go to practical stuff instead of fun stuff.

    dabbys last blog post..There’s times when I want something more, someone more like me

  11. Hank says:

    Really sorry, KJ. Really sorry. Even if the job stunk, it still sucks to not get it.

    Hanks last blog post..Rachel Lucas is a Goddess

  12. ali says:

    do you really have email conversations like that with your mom?

    my mom doesn’t even know how to use email!

    alis last blog post..the day after labor day

  13. Losing your jobs sucks monkey balls no matter what. I’ve been laid off twice and both were a horribly miserable experience. No matter how much you KNOW that things will work out in the end it doesn’t help much.

    Dutchess of Kickballs last blog post..Do you have any spare change?

  14. -R- says:

    I think you’re reacting normally. It is a sucky situation that you can’t control. But you are right, everything happens for a reason, bitch. =)

    -R-s last blog post..We’re Coming To America

  15. Noelle says:

    It’s a lot easier to hang out in woeville, I reside there quite frequently.

    Noelles last blog post..I suppose I’m a Red, then

  16. Angella says:

    Everything will work out.


    My Mom is the same. We need them to cater to our drama every once in awhile, no?

    Angellas last blog post..Seasons Change

  17. tracey says:

    So sorry about the job situation… Hope it works out sooner rather than later so that you can still get some of those specials bought and debt erased.

    Good luck!

    traceys last blog post..Someday…

  18. Amanda says:

    You’re better off than I was at the beginning of this year: the company I worked for went under, and I got a phone call as I was getting ready for work one morning telling me to not come in today. Or ever. No severance, no vacation pay I’d accumulated, nothing. So what did I do? I turned to freelance writing full-time. It’s been an upward climb, but dammit if I’m not going to make it work. And now I read blogs in my pjs and eat whenever I want and haven’t had an in-person job interview since. My advice would be: take the plunge. You’ve got more money and more experience going into it than I did. A little crazy doesn’t hurt, either.

    Amandas last blog post..lunch, dinner, lunch

  19. Candy says:

    Have you ever tried temping?

    Candys last blog post..Crying Me A River

  20. It must suck being that company that didn’t hire you, because they’re clearly all idiots who don’t know a good thing when it smacks bacon in their faces.

    You WILL find a job. And, when you do, then you can buy whatever toy your heart desires.

    In the meantime, you remain one of the funniest bitches I know. And I mean that in a totally I-puffy-heart-you way, even though we’ve never actually, you know, met IRL.

    Jen on the Edges last blog post..Houses and more houses

  21. Lys says:

    Ok – financial writing? Pshawww – c’mon now. You’d be bored. The right op is gonna smack you in the face sooner than later. And you’ll get it. And then you can buy an iPhone, the flat screen and guess what – they will be on sale or cheaper than if you bought them today and all is right with the world.

    I mean, what would Bacon do, right?

    Lyss last blog post..The Snark Has Passed…

  22. jennster says:

    did you tell me your birthday is coming up?!?!?! did you tell me it was 9/14?? or was that not you. omg, someone shoot me. it was you! i knew it! okay.. so my bd is TWO DAYS before yours! virgo’s! no wonder i love you so much!

    jennsters last blog post..what moms REALLY do at their sons baseball games

  23. Melissa says:

    Whoa….and no I don’t mean woe…back the horse up and come over here and let me give you one of these happy pills. Now take a deep breath…and chant along with me “you will find a job, you will find a job…”

    Are you ready to smack me yet? Hang in there, kiddo!

    Melissas last blog post..MythBuster…That’s Me!

  24. witchypoo says:

    I’m looking for work because my tour left me in the hole, and am freaking out as well.

    witchypoos last blog post..Comments of Note

  25. Rhi says:

    This totally sucks. I’ve been there (um, THREE TIMES) and I hate it. Boo job searching.

    Rhis last blog post..Cooking For One: KITCHEN DISASTER Edition

  26. Slick says:

    The email convo between your Mom and you had me laughing.

    Mom’s just don’t want to let you wallow in your own pity….I’ve never understood it!

  27. Elle Charlie says:

    Boo for job searching indeed. I feel your pain. But, it’ll work out. I mean, it has to. Look at all the people who are employed. At least, that’s what I keep thinking as I job hunt to the point of nausea.

    Elle Charlies last blog post..Weeded out

  28. Sarah says:

    Enjoy your time between jobs. Think of it this way…not many people get time off like that! I’m a little jealous.
    You could spend it reading blogs!
    Now I’m really jealous.

    Sarahs last blog post..Shocking Confession

  29. Ree says:

    Dude. 24 got a job. I know you will.

    Rees last blog post..Today’s Request for a Good Deed

  30. Kerri Anne says:

    I’m sorry about the job you wanted, babe, but I, like your mother and myriad other fans of you, know you’ll find something eight times as awesome in the upcoming weeks. Until then, big love coming at you.

  31. EmilyPie says:

    yuck. i have no words of encouragement… i suck at that. but i do want you to know i keep checking in on you to see how you are doing …..oh, and to get a little laugh out of your writing. I would not call it getting my thrills from your pain…. i promise.

    EmilyPies last blog post..Photogging Madness!

  32. For the love of God, can someone please explain to me how the HR WOMAN is ALWAYS on VACATION?? Seriously, so many people, myself included, have encountered the Vacationing HR Woman. Either they tell you that during the interview (kiss of death) or they tell you over the phone when you’re calling to check on the status of the hiring.

    I hope something comes your way soon. Thought about taking up a collection on your blog? If that doesn’t work, you might be able to make some bank selling porn. Both are really win-win. It’s good to have choices, right?

    The Over-Thinkers last blog post..NOT a post about bed-wetting, thankyouverymuch.

  33. Coast Rat says:

    KB: You sound like you still have a good portion of a sense of humor, which you have to have during this time. I applied for a position a few weeks ago when I was back north on vacation, which I need to accomplish before I can transition back up there. I told my son after my interview that it would really be a reach for me to actually get it, and it was, and I didn’t. Their loss, I say. Hang tough, my friend, some employer HR cat will meet up with you and love you! It’ll happen.


  34. Stacey says:

    Job searching definitely sucks ass. Good luck with your WOE and all.

    Staceys last blog post..Snippets

  35. Jerri Ann says:

    Hey, was going to suggest that “everything works out for a reason” but I’m assuming you don’t really want to hear that one, eh?

    No for real though, it will happen. I know how I would feel if it were me, but keep your head up and know that….er never mind

  36. Susan says:

    Damn, you don’t get to do a job you’d hate within the first week. That does in fact suck. Meanwhile I’ve been spouting on my own blog about how everything happens in its own time and I’d like to say right here in the relative privacy of someone else’s comments that I am about to have a nervous breakdown and will shortly be removing clumps of my own hair while sobbing on the phone to my mother, who will not be listening. Thank you for not closing comments in time to avoid this outburst.

    Susans last blog post..passive agressive pleading

  37. Kristie says:

    Damn. I am mad at those people whod didn’t hire you!

    Kristies last blog post..Friendships

  38. girlplease says:

    Usually there are 2 financial companies that want writers:

    Discover Financial in boofoo Riverwoods
    TransUnion downtown

    1. if it was Discover, jump up and down you were turned down.
    2. if it was TransUnion, sure they had a kickass vacation package but seriously, writing about credit scores all day???? YAWN.

    You’ll find something. Financial writing, while kickass pay/benefits, sucks(ed).