Job Interviews Are Fun!
Posted By Kristabella on August 7, 2008
Last night on my bus ride home I got a call from someone about a possible job. He had found my resume online and was really interested in talking to me. I was very excited, even more so after Katie told me that recruiters don’t call unless they are really interested.
This morning when I got in, I checked out the company’s site and it seemed like a really great company, kind of cutting edge and something that sounds like I would enjoy.
So I went into an empty office (we have a lot of them at work) and called this guy back. He didn’t answer so I left a message with my name and that I was returning his call from the previous evening. About 10 minutes later he called. My first clue that isn’t wasn’t going to be the best phone call was when he was all “who are you again? Did I call you? What is your name? Can you just email me your resume?”
Dude, I LEFT YOU A MESSAGE. Get your ass prepared with my info BEFORE you call me back.
Anyway, I didn’t hang up on him and he discussed the job opening. And then he asked if I had time to talk. And then I proceeded to have a 40-minute phone interview with this guy. It went petty well. I think I do better when I’m unprepared and don’t know it is coming. I was almost like chit-chatting with him, which can either help or harm me.
One of his first questions was the typical “where do you see yourself in 5 years?” question. He actually made it more complicated and wanted to know about one year from now, five years from now and what my opinion of my life would be 10 years from now.
Since I’m looking for a job, not a career (but can’t really say that to someone), I tend to go with my vague answer that I want to be in a position where I am constantly learning and in a job that I enjoy and that makes me happy and makes me want to get out of bed in the morning.
The thing is I have no goals of being a VP or a CEO or anything like that. I have no aspirations. I do not want to climb the corporate ladder. Climbing is exercise.
I know I want to write. I want to be published. I want to get married. And I want to be a stay at home mom. I know what I want to be. It’s just that none of these things make me really desirable as a prospective employee.
Normally my vague answer suffices. I can talk out of my ass if I have to, but that generally gives them enough. They get sucked into my world of puppies and rainbows and working at jobs we love and enjoy getting up for.
Not this guy. He brought it up three more times in the conversation. He kept saying “I still don’t really understand what your goals are? Do you want to be in marketing? What do you want to do? Where will you be in five years? WHERE?”
And then I said “I will be 36, single and have eight cats!” and hung up on his ass!
Actually I danced around it again and finally said “yeah, I love marketing. It makes my heart race. And my panties moist! Yay marketing! Capital M to the A to the R-K-E-T-I-N-G! Yay marketing!”
But seriously, I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to lie. But I’m thinking I may have to stretch the truth a little otherwise I will never get a job.
Which is where you all come in – what would you guys say to that question? Would you lie? Stretch the truth? Do you think the vague answer should suffice? And then after that just tell them what they want to hear? I need your HALP! Kthxbai.
About the author
I loath job interviews all that where do you see yourself in 5 years crap. Umm hopefully not still kissing your ass? Is that a good answer? Is that what you want to hear? Am I hired?
In all seriousness I wish I could tell you some great answer that will knock their socks off of them and give you a six figure salary, but I’m afraid I don’t have those magic words. I do wish you the best of luck though!
Lissas last blog post..Reasons Why I Could Never Be A Celebrity
I answer vaguely and that is usually enough. I don’t know what I want. I think I actually want to be a pro photographer one day …. you know, full time. But I can’t just go and say that I just want a job to hold me over until then …..
I feel ya.
Emilys last blog post..Not Quite a Woman
I’ve had that problem before. If pressed, I always say that I want to be in a PERMANENT position in a POSITIVE ENVIRONMENT that allows me to PLAY TO MY STRENGTHS which include MARKETING (or whatever you happen to be applying for). Say something with those key phrases and add that your other goals are secondary. See? No lies! He doesn’t have to know that your “permanent positive environment that plays to your strengths” does not include him or his stupid questions. And your strengths DO include marketing (or whatever). This approach has always worked for me.
Just call me the queen of BS.
Oh, yeah… If you feel obligated to mention the married-stay-at-home-mom thing, tell him that “family is my first priority.” Since you’re not yet married, he’ll have to assume that you mean your parents, etc. No employer is going to dare demand in words that you put work before family unless he’s stupid as well as an asshole, in which case, do you want to work there anyway?
All of the following is my opinion based on my experience, so take whatever you want from it and ignore the rest (especially since I might not be telling you anything you don’t already know): Regular interviews are very different from recruiter interviews. A recruiter (at least, a good one!) is not only interviewing you for the job they have on hand, but for future jobs… and mentioning that you want to be a stay-at-home mom or anything about family coming first above all else isn’t going to get your resume earmarked for what they have now or what they might have to offer you later. I’m not saying that if pressed you should LIE and say that you hate your family and you’d prefer work over your own wedding…. but you just don’t even have to go there.
The “tell me about yourself” question isn’t usually in reference to your personal life, it’s directed at your job history, with maybe a tiny bit of personal thrown in… but in relation to your previous employment (for instance, if you relocated for a job opportunity, and what you liked about the experience, “Not only did I get trained to be proficient in XYZ, but because I was living in Chicago again, I’m only an hour away from my nieces.”)
If you’re getting interviewed for a marketing job, they’re going to expect that you’ll have some kind of specific goals or numbers to throw out in regards to your career because in marketing yourself, you’ll give off clues as to how you’d be on the job, marketing their product/company/promotions.
I have a whole lot more I could add, so must shoot me an email if you want more info. I used to work through a high-end temp agency (they did all graphic design placement for firms that needed help for specific short-term/high pressure projects) so I’ve worked in all kinds of environments. Keeping my fingers crossed for you!
Jules
House of Jules
HouseofJuless last blog post..A good excuse to work "I’m here to PUMP (clap) YOU UP!" into your next conversation
must=just.
As in “just shoot me an email”!
Jules
House of Jules
HouseofJuless last blog post..A good excuse to work "I’m here to PUMP (clap) YOU UP!" into your next conversation could not add cached callYou have an error in your SQL syntax; check the manual that corresponds to your MySQL server version for the right syntax to use near ‘m here to PUMP (clap) YOU UP!" into your next conversation’,’208.76.82.’ at line 1
I don’t reckon that where do you see yourself in 5 years is a very good question, and crap away by all means I say. I went for job interview the other day. A job that I’ve pretty much been doing for the last 9 months and I didn’t get it because I don’t have the MARKETING experience they were looking for. So they’ve offered it to the person with more MARKETING experience but asked me to do it for the next 2 months because the person with the more MARKETING experience is going on a long holiday. Eh what? I kinda know how you feel now, but at least I have a job at the end.
Back to you, you could always talk about how you market yourself with your writing on your blog, although perhaps you don’t want prospective employers actually looking at your personal blog.
i have been thinking about this a lot lately and to the five year question i’d have said: i want to be happy.
there is such a premiem put on “advancement” and ‘i’m your boss!”
the truth is: just be happy. like your life.
you, of all people, do this well.
if career satisfaction makes you happy, do it. if outside of work life makes you happy and you want to make babies and have a career in addition, do that. if you want to stay home and raise babies do that.
everyone else’s standards are exhausting. it’s your life. be happy.
i commend you for having a fun life filled with cubs games, nieces, nephews, beer and cats. to me, you seem happy.
christas last blog post..limbs …
what an a$$hat. ugh. that is the worst question. possible answers “i will be your boss.” “i will have fired you after 3 months.” “i will have conquered the world and then made you my manservant.”
i do like “climbing is exercise.”
micheles last blog post..Things I’ll Never Do When I Grow Up: Part 1
The vague answer usually suffices…I don’t think anyone asking the question really CARES. In five years? I hope to be alive. You? You should tell them that in five years, you want to be Kristabella, Empress of the Universe.
The five years questions is so unfair. If you say you want to be the Big Cheese and the Big Cheese has no intention of leaving for the next 50 years, you are then a threat. If you say, I’d like to still be reading porn and doing smack in the mailroom then they say you have no ambition. It’s a ridiculous question.
And yes, I’d lie about marketing. It’s a little easier to answer the question if you knew more about the company because then you could be specific, “I’d like to work in dept. X doing Y.” But if you are not sure about the company or the actual job, keep it vague. Something like, “Whatever I do will only be until I pop out some babies, write my novel, and have to hire underlings to handle my massive estate.”
Dingos last blog post..I Kick Ass and The World Finally Knows It
Interviews are horrible. What could you say that would make you stand out more than someone else?
I think the standard is … “I see myself in YOUR position” but is that too threatening?
Yeah, I dunno. No helpfulness here, sorry.
Honestly? If I wanted the job, I would probably lie. When I worked for other people (as opposed to just rolling out of bed and switching on the laptop), my honest answer to the “where do you want to be in ten years” question was “Lying on a beach with a glass of champagne in one hand and the knowledge that I never have to work again.” But it doesn’t get you hired. I think you’re supposed to say something like, “In your job”, which kinda makes me want to vomit, but there you go…
With all of that said, I was the worst possible employee ever, because I just hated work. So there was literally no way I could be honest about my aspirations and still get a job.
Ill give some suggestions just as soon as i stop laughing about you spelling marketing cheereleader style
Lie like a rug!! I mean really with the way companies are laying off maybe they should have to tell you where you would be in 5 years from now.
Even though it makes me want to vomit to say this – – I would LIE, LIE LIE my ass off and just tell them whatever they wanted to hear. And I hate that, because it’s not the real me.
Guess I’ve just becoem really ‘jaded’ with all the recent CRAP I’ve had to go through with my job – – guess my burn-out is showing!
Liz J in Central Illinoiss last blog post..Decatur Celebration, Part 1 – Friday
Okay, first, I just have to say, how unprofessional was that guy?! Man, he would have gotten the boot here if he talked to candidates like that!
Second, tell them what you think they want to hear and make sure to relate it back to their company. Something along the lines of “I’m really passionate about marketing and in 5 years I hope to have moved up the ladder into a “blah blah blah” role. I want to develop “marketing idea here” and use my creativity to “blah blah blah.” How’s that?
Katies last blog post..Happy Birthday, Mom
Stretch the truth. I work in marketing too (we’re TWINS!) and here is what I usually say: “I want to be in a leadership position working with a strong team that I can learn from and grow with”
And, I just made myself gag. But! BUT! I’m in a management position now, so it totally works!
Rhis last blog post..The Complete List, and a Contest!
I would lie. It’s not like every single person’s goals won’t change over the next 5 years anyway. Plus, I think that is a stupid question, so I wouldn’t feel bad about lying.
I usually just answer what I think they want to hear, and then get annoyed that the dumbass I’m talking to has a job and I don’t.
As a recruiter – I would have to say – never EVER LIE!! It will come back to haunt you. Just be honest (well, maybe not brutally honest – ha ha) but if writing is something you want to do – then tell the recruiter/interviewer that. Put that corporate spin (not lie) on it – I’m assuming you’re applying for marketing or at least some sort of creative jobs here – expand on your skills. I work in HR – as a recruiter – but like you, I’m creative (at least I think so) and like to write so I get to help create our recruiting materials. No, it’s not the book I’d like to someday have published – but it IS creative and involves some writing.
Another thing I (recruiters)look for – I want YOU to tell ME why YOU would be good at this job. Make me want YOU! If I’ve done my job – I’m interviewing several candidates – tell me about you and why YOU would be the best choice.
I agree – this recruiter sounded like a bit of an arrogant a$$hole – not having your information in front of him when he called you back – but he may have been calling from the road and didn’t have access to it. (And, recruiters DO call a lot of people on any given day)
As for the 1, 5 year goal question – I’m not a fan of it – but instead of lying (again – never a smart thing to do in an interview) go back to your qualifications and expand on them – you like to write – tell them that and that you’d like to expand your skills and work in a creative environment – give examples of what you’ve done in past jobs. In your mind – yes, your writing would be books/blogs/etc. – but in the meantime you could be writing corporate communications or marketing materials.
Hope this helps – and best of luck with your interviews – Just be yourself . . . well, maybe not FULL snark- hee hee!
stay at home mom? really? i so wouldn’t have guessed!
The real question is, have you given proper thanks today?
Nics last blog post..Whip It Up! Week Five Wrap-Up!
I would totally lie.
And I peed on myself when I read the moist panties line. AWESOME.
Kristies last blog post..I must keep in mind that he’s only 18-months. could not add cached callYou have an error in your SQL syntax; check the manual that corresponds to your MySQL server version for the right syntax to use near ‘s only 18-months.’,’208.76.82.4′)’ at line 1
I’m glad I’m not the only one not trying to climb some CEO ladder. My goal in life is to have a good time and working all the time does not fit in with that. My accomplishments are not related to what pays my bills.
Scarlets last blog post..Feeling Yourself Disintegrate
Yeah, I know it sounds bad, but I lie if I have to. When I left my nanny job, I was out of work for 2 months before I finally found something. On that interview (for a receptionist/secretary type person in an insurance company) I told them I wanted to stay in a job for 3-5 years at least and that “I’m very detailed oriented, I know it’s strange, but I really enjoy tasks that most people don’t, like typing, filing, and scheduling. It really addresses my constant need to organize things!” Yeah, the only thing I needed at the time was health insurance. I started looking elsewhere w/in the year.
Marys last blog post..Fuck Rosebud
Doesn’t everyone lie in interviews? I mean, it’s like dating, who tells the whole unvarnished truth on a first date? No one. You lie, stretch the truth, prevaricate, whatever it takes to seal the deal. When they give you bullshit questions like that, I say give them bullshit right back.
Caras last blog post..Travel Tales: Part 3 – Water babies and Fried Fish
Damn that’s a toughy. I’ve never had anyone challenge that vague, general answer to that question.
I think you have to lie, because that guy doesn’t give a crap what your goals are. He just thinks he’s supposed to ask that question. And frankly if you said you wanted to be VP of the company in 5 years they would feel threatened and not offer you the job. Just tell them what they want to hear. Get the job. You’ll probably never see him again.
Candys last blog post..Things To Do Before I Die
That was too funny, I hate job interviews with a passion! I have to admit, I usually just lie and tell them what they want to hear. I’m pretty much a sell-out. Good luck!
dabbys last blog post..What dreams may come
I really like Mae’s first comment and second what she said.
Jen on the Edges last blog post..Leftovers
I always try to spin that question to the kinds of tasks and activities I’d enjoy doing– so I say something like “I want to be in a position where I’m responsible for managing a small team of people working on projects that require coming up with creative solutions to complex policy problems” or some such. Or, “my writing skills are one of my strongest points and one of my great interests, so I’d want to be in a position where my job involved frequent writing addressed to audiences outside the organization”
But it’s a lazy question for an interviewer to ask. Everyone bullshits it, you don’t learn anything good from it. There are so many better questions to ask.
I can’t answer that because I am too busy wiping the tears from laughing … I’m loving the “I will be 36, single and have eight cats!” answer.
You’ll do just fine … you have the best sense of humor girl.
Nancys last blog post..Oops! He did it again.
I haven’t been on an interview in 16 years, so I was really hoping to learn from you. 😉
But, if it’s a traditionally structured organization, it’s always good to say –
– in a year, I’d like to be comfortable enough in this position to be moving into a more senior/responsible role in the organization. Preferably managing (a product/a line/a group).
– in 5 years, I’d like to have made enough of an impact to oversee a group of product managers/department/whatever.
– in 10 years, I see myself in an executive position – preparing strategy along with the leaders of the company.
NOW, if it’s not that type of company, you’ll need to restructure to what it is – I like pseudostoops answer about writing.
Recruiters, even if they are busy folks, are kind of the doorway to the company. If the recruiter-the first line of defense- is unorganized and flighty, it would make me wonder a bit about the company. But that’s just me.
The 5-year question…my guess is they want to know you’re not going to spend the next 4 and a half years stealing Post-Its and lunches from the community fridge. I may also be a think-on-your-feet question that is not so much based on content than your ability to manage the unexpected. As long as you don’t say “I plan do my at-home phone sex operation from the work line”, any answer that implies growth, creativity, and concrete answers will work.
I want to get sucked into the world of rainbows and puppies!! Where do I sign up!?! I am laughing so hard seriously BE A WRITER or take this shit on the road….
um, I’m a piece of shit and I lie. My answer is usually this:
“I grew up in a household where my parents both found jobs with companies that were a real fit for them. Rather than jumping from job to job, they remained loyal to that company and worked through the good and the few bad times. This has given me a strong desire to do the same. I want to find a company that will allow me to grow with them. Somewhere that I can remain at for many years to come.”
Usually the interviewer has a big stupid grin at this point and I smile back hoping my smile doesn’t let on that a pile of crap as tall as me has just left my mouth.
And for the record, my mom was always changing jobs, moving up through the corporate ladder by changing companies. And my Dad was pretty nonpresent in my upbringing.
regans last blog post..keep the cuteness at bay
You lie, of course! You need a job now to make money for your future endeavours. I had my semi annual review a few months ago. Do you think I told my boss I’d be quitting by the end of the year to start my own firm? No! I said that I didn’t mind completing assignments that I couldn’t bill for as long as it help this firm. What crap! I hate doing anything at my current firm!
curlatini, esq.s last blog post..Quiet
Okay here is what I would say:
“Regardless of the career I find myself in in five years I anticipate the opportunity to grow and learn from the company-enhancing my knowledging and making a stronger company in the process”
could I be Miss America or what?
Sarahs last blog post..Simply Complicated
this reminds me of that friends episode when chandler couldn’t get over the word “duties.” haha, that’s totally you.
Dude, just say their favorite word: MANAGEMENT. And then silently say to yourself “of a house, husband, kids and writing career.”
“In five years I’ll be signing your paycheck, asswipe. Now go get me my I-9 and a cappachino.”
Evil Geniuss last blog post..Lick My Lolly!
This was all sorts of awesome.
Tell them you plan to have at LEAST two kids, with one on the way. You may or may not be barefoot.
I would tell him you want to take over the world – starting with his job. So watch out!
Kimberly/ MommaKs last blog post..Done
I’ve learned to lie after being truthful and it ended up biting me in the ass.
I’m a freelance writer, and I was in a job interview for a 2-day-a-week, in-house position, and I got the 5 years question. I said, “pretty much where I am now, but preferably making more money.” That got a laugh, and then they asked the 10 year question. I answered the same way because, really I am doing what I want to be doing. They didn’t buy it. They pressed and pressed the question until I finally said, “Actually, I’d love to be a travel writer, in the far future.” Well. That sent them (there were 3 interviewers in the room) off on a tangent of hypotheticals if I’ve ever seen one. “So what if you’re scheduled here for Wednesday and National Geographic calls you up and you have an assignment in Africa?” and the like. I laughed at the question outright and didn’t give them an answer. I don’t suffer fools gladly.
Amandas last blog post..Back on the Nitrus
I’ve given you some blog bling because you deserve it. I’m usually slack in passing it on, but I actually have this time. Do with it what you will.
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Came here via Jen at Semantically Driven.
I always found the old “having a balanced life, getting joy out of my worklife, playing to my strengths” worked when I was in corporate world.
Having been out of it for a bit, I am getting tetchy at the very few ads there are for work, and they all require “excellent time management skills” and I want to scream “people with doubtful time management skills are people too!”
Good luck with your search.
jeanies last blog post..The Post Grapefruit Marmalade Post Ramble
I liked your first response the best. HEE!
I have always just told them what they want to hear. And by the time they hire me and get to a point where they realize I was lying they forget all about it.
Dutchess of Kickballs last blog post..Surfside/ Bates Motel
I would tailor my answer to the person asking. If it’s the CEO, don’t give the answer of I’ll have your job in five years. Show your ambition, but you don’t have to be a sell out. I also think this is a “weak” interview question. Think about the small start-up firms who only hope the firm will be around in five years. I also like to spin the question and ask the interviewer what they see for the future of the company in five years. Good luck.
In the past, I have been honest. I have told them that I don’t necessarily want to ‘climb the ladder’ but that i know as i grow more within a company, i coudl change my mind.
just be honest. tell them you are interested in marketing, you like it, but you aren’t sure where you will end up in 5 years. tell him you are very interested in becoming a published writer, but in the meantime, you are into marketing, or whatever the job is for.
good luck!