The Fabulous Life Of Kristabella

Posted By on July 30, 2008

No, I am not drunk right now. I am a little buzzed, but not drunk. In fact, I left a half-full (because I’m SO optimistic) glass of red wine on the table at dinner because DO NOT WANT. (And yes, those of you on Twitter, I totally repeated the same line. I’m a one trick pony for Pete’s sake.)

So I want to tell you all about how famous I am. Because I’m not sure you are aware of my famous status and my all-around fabulousness. And because I am famous, I will tell you all about my being famous. Because my being grouped into a bunch of famous people is only because I gave Amalah my business card. (The nerve of some people!)

Over the weekend, some jaded mommyblogger (I hate that term because we are ALL personal bloggers) (but I don’t like her, so there you go) decided to send a mass email out to like every popular blogger in the world asking them to go to her site and comment on a post she had written. She wanted to know how all of us famous bloggers kept our writing real, even though we were all making a living off our ads on our blogs. Because how could you possibly keep writing the same inane details when you were making a LIVING off of it?

At first, drunkenly on Friday night, I laughed at this idiot who apparently emailed the entire blogging universe. And she not only emailed us once, she emailed us TWICE because she FORGOT THE LINK in the first email.

On Saturday, I saw that a lot of people commented, so I figured I would add my two cents. Seeing how I was living the dream and all. You know, living the dream of working at a job that has eliminated my position and spending my working hours looking for a job so I can pay the bills. Yeah, honey, being famous is exhausting work.

And I told her, “hey, maybe do your homework. I don’t EVEN HAVE ADS on my site. And also, BlogHer is for everyone. And really, if you want to see how famous all these bloggers are in the real world, come to my office. My office where no one has even heard of blogs.”

Let’s be honest here people, for all the BlogHer haters – we are all women with websites. That’s it. If you are afraid to talk to someone or any of that high school bullshit, it is because you have built that person up to be something THEY ARE NOT. We have fucking websites, for the love of God.

And on top of it, we aren’t going to like everyone. That’s what makes us human and not robots. We’re going to get along better with some people. For instance, you might might get lucky and get along with the most awesomest roommates who will be all Judgey McJudgeypants with you. And really mesh well with your Full Of Snark self.

To top it all off, the only reason I got lumped into this group was because I gave my card to Amalah and she linked to me on her site. Because I gave her my card. That makes me so unfamous I can’t even tell you.

And to the person starting this drama, please don’t lump me into your crazy anymore. And tell me I’m a bad blogger because I don’t read your blog or respond to your comments when you have NEVER commented on my site. I’m a good, nice blogger. So there! *sticks tongue out*

But to piggyback off all my new-found famousness and life in the fast lane, I did indeed live the fabulous life for a few hours on Sunday. As soon as my new-found famous status was confirmed by the Committe of Famous People (CFP), I immediately hopped on a private jet and flew a grand total of seven miles and then back again. BECAUSE I COULD!

After my flight, I tried to live like a commoner and take the CTA to the Cubs game. But I grew impatient. And sweaty. So I hoofed my famous ass two miles from my house to Wrigley, where I met my famous friend Jen Lancaster. (Because what do you do when you find out you are famous overnight? You call your famous friend.) We were going to a rooftop by Wrigley to watch the Cubs game.

I also met another famous new friend, Gina, who writes for the Red Eye. She confirmed my status as a famous person by talking to me. Repeatedly.

After getting along famously, we then served our purpose at the Cubs game, which was to be on the Travel Channel with Samantha Brown. Don’t be jealous. You’re all not famous enough to live my life. (But watch Samantha’s show because she’s just the nicest person you will ever meet.)

And then I lost my fabulous, famous status by showing the world my white skin that MATCHES MY WHITE TANK TOP.

So I celebrated my record rise and fall from famous status like any normal schlub would do, I ate Taco Bell and took a nap on the couch.

It’s OK to touch me the next time you see me. I hear the fabulous famousness rubs off.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.

Comments

52 Responses to “The Fabulous Life Of Kristabella”

  1. Vanessa says:

    I love it that you can just keep it real and talk to people like we are, you know…people. The fame, hype crap is exciting but really, we need our friends more than anything in life.

  2. Hi, I’m Jennie, and I’M BEHIND ON BLOGS. Oh, I want to know who did this and also, BlogHer ads pay like nothing. You can get your hair done or your nails done but you cannot LIVE OFF THEM.

    Also, every cranky, bitter blogger should watch/listen to Maggie’s panel. The most famous bloggers are still famous among a very SELECT group of people. Building them up to star status is awkward and silly.

    (Side note: I’m already thinking about the champagne at BlogHer 09. I CAN DRINK IT. HOW FUN?!)

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