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4/19/08 - The Day I Officially Became Old
By Kristabella | April 21, 2008
This weekend I had big plans. Big drinking plans. An event I was looking forward to for weeks. I was going to the cubs game on Saturday afternoon, watching the game from one of the rooftops on Waveland Avenue. I was going to drink myself silly because I spent a good chunk of money (part of it was for charity) and I wanted to make sure I got my money’s worth. And it was more cost-effective to drink that money instead of trying to eat $85 in hot dogs and potato chips.
I prepared myself for what was to be a long day. One where a lot of beer was going to be flowing through my blood stream.
I’m very excited. And very squinty.
The game was at noon and the minute they opened that bar, I was there, flirting and chatting with the bartender making it known that I would be BACK THERE OFTEN. Because I was on a mission to drink as many beers as possible in the time allowed.
View from our rooftop on Waveland. Jealous?
Dora the Explorer threw out the first pitch. And then Carlos Zambrano came out of left field (literally) and snatched the ball away from her. And Dora yelled “Swiper, NO SWIPING!” And Carlos said “Awww, man!”
The Cubs were very good this day. They scored lots of runs. Do you know that that means? That means the game goes long and the 7th inning comes later in the day. Why is the 7th inning important? That’s when they cut off beer sales.
Cheers, Cubbies! Here’s to your offensive prowess!
The day moved along. The weather was awesome for a good chunk of the game. It was sunny and warm and I really am blindingly white and need to get some sun.
The Cubs scored runs and I drank beer. I chronicled the day’s drinking.
Schwerer’s cups left. My cups right. Yes, that would be my SEVENTH beer.
And then it was the seventh inning and we needed to STOCK UP on beer!
Yeah, that’s just for two people.
And then it started to drizzle water drops from the sky and we moved inside the building. And drank more beer. Here’s the final damage.
On second thought, maybe I’m not old. Because, dude, that’s 10 damn beers. That’s A LOT of beer.
Other highlights from the game:
- These guys sat in front of us
- Those names are not names of current players on the Cubs. In fact, 10 is retired because that was Ron Santo’s number.
- Getting your own name on jerseys is stupid.
- (Apologies to anyone out there that has that unfortunate problem with a jersey)
- As the sun went behind the clouds and the wind shifted off the lake, it got very cool on the rooftop.
- So I put on my jacket and buttoned it up.
- Some woman made fun of me buttoning up my coat.
- And then told me, because my coat was buttoned, that I must be from the suburbs.
- Which is like telling me I’m fat or ugly or *gasp* NOT FUNNY
- If she wasn’t old, I probably would have hit her. Or tripped her with her hands full of beer.
- Why would buttoning a coat make me from THE SUBURBS?
- After the game, the rooftop people were heading over to a bar down the street.
- We got there and it was PACKED. We couldn’t even move. So we decided to head to Sluggers, which is our stand by because it is so big
- It too was packed.
- So we left and walked a little further to a bar where no one was.
- Proving that I’ve turned into an old lady because I couldn’t even handle a crowded bar after TEN BEERS!
- We ended up grabbing a bite to eat and then Schwerer went to catch the bus and I hopped on the EL.
- But not before stopping at a candy stored and buying a pound of Swedish fish and other gummy candies.
- NOTE TO READERS: Do not buy bulk candy when you’re DRUNK.
- Especially at $8.99/pound
- So I ate my candy, took the train home and passed out on the couch before 6 PM.
- And proceeded to sleep until 9:45.
- And then went to bed at midnight because I was exhausted.
- After less than SIX HOURS of drinking.
- How on Earth am I going to survive in Vegas?
But I had a good time and I will be spending a lot more time at Wrigley this season. If only to prove to myself that I’m not an old fart who can’t go drinking after games because of the crowds. Wah.
Don’t worry, I’m ashamed enough for all of us.
Topics: A Day in the Life of Me, Hooch Hilarity, Sports |
April 21st, 2008 at 7:33 am
It’s much easier to suck those beers down when it’s HOT out…and it certainly wasn’t on Saturday. I AM old & hate crowded bars…surprised Sluggers/Shooters was like that cuz that place is so huge.
It’s only April…plenty of Cubs season left.
April 21st, 2008 at 7:55 am
Swedish Fish and Beer? Excuse me, must go barf my Cheerios now. Ewwww.
And I don’t get that suburb thing either. I see a lot of people with coats buttoned AND hats and gloves downtown.
Ree’s last blog post..I Can’t Even Do a One-Word Meme
April 21st, 2008 at 8:06 am
Wow…that’s a lot of beer. Betcha went on a lot of pee breaks that day. ha. ha.
Not sure about the buttoned up jacket either. Weird!
=)
Ashmystir’s last blog post..Today’s Power Thought:
April 21st, 2008 at 8:06 am
Seriously. The whole swedish fish and beer combo sounds the nast to me.
Woah being from the burbs is a serious insult. Let’s just ignore the fact that I live in the burbs shall we?
Raven’s last blog post..thanks, universe.
April 21st, 2008 at 8:06 am
You aren’t old!
I could not drink that much beer without being violently ill. Spewing beer and candy would not be fun.
*Shudders at the thought*
I think you will be just fine in Vegas
Angella’s last blog post..Plastic Is Drastic
April 21st, 2008 at 8:08 am
Crowded bars are not the place to get your drunk on because you have to wait so long for a refill.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Peeps Get Highlighted
April 21st, 2008 at 8:12 am
To clarify, I ate the candy AFTER all the beer. It was on the way back home, on the train. After a few mini-cheeseburgers that were $1 a piece!
Because yes, Swedish fish and beer would be quite nasty!
April 21st, 2008 at 8:57 am
If that beer is as watered down as the stuff at Shea Stadium, it’s equal to about seven beers, which is still a lot of beers, and I’m pretty impressed. Also, I think a lot of people from the city button their coat. I think that woman was just remarking on her own insecurity.
Noelle’s last blog post..Blog of Distinction
April 21st, 2008 at 9:49 am
I think the ability to drink 10 beers = you’re not old. I am though. And I live in the suburbs!
April 21st, 2008 at 10:42 am
Dude…. in Vegas, its ALL about pacing yourself. Seriously. And lots of mini-meals of food (you don’t want the food coma). And occasionally, walk outside the hotel to find that it is light outside, and then go back inside to the cool, welcoming cavern that is the casino.
The Muse’s last blog post..Bleh.
April 21st, 2008 at 11:17 am
Meanwhile I’m thinking “Swedish fish and beer. YUM!”
And you are totally not old especially since I’m usually done after five beers. Actually I’m not done so much as I am bloated so then I move onto something else. Like vodka.
Heather B.’s last blog post..In which I decide to start showering regularly
April 21st, 2008 at 11:26 am
You are not old because those bars around Wrigley are packed. As withceypoo mentioned, you can’t get a beer, or pee. As far as I’m concerned all buzz kills and keeping your buzz for as long as possible after a Cubs game is important.
April 21st, 2008 at 11:36 am
I would, uh, die after 10 beers. So ya know, that is what your have to look forward in a roommate. Although I did have 5 Red Bull and Vodkas on Saturday and didn’t even get drunk, so maybe I’m not totally uncool yet.
slynnro’s last blog post..Another Advisory Against Going to the Gym
April 21st, 2008 at 11:48 am
I would have vomited all over the place.
Lauren’s last blog post..Why Women Love Men
April 21st, 2008 at 1:09 pm
whoa — i think we’re about the same age and 6 drinks would have knocked me down if I had started consuming them that early in the day. I think absorption rate is faster, and alcoholic metabolism rate slower when drinking during in daylight hours. at least that’s what i tell myself.
kir’s last blog post..Undertime
April 21st, 2008 at 1:15 pm
I agree on the bulk-candy-while-drunk.
Also, do not go to: Forever 21, H&M or DSW while drunk. Baaaaad.
Laurel’s last blog post..Questions, Part Two: AS Edition
April 21st, 2008 at 1:38 pm
You are my beero. That’s beer hero, hombre.
Beej’s last blog post..MY FIST - Apply directly to the forehead!
April 21st, 2008 at 1:45 pm
Holy crap. I think I’ve had maybe 10 whole beers in the last year. Maybe. It’s a stretch. Are you sweating beer still?
Kristie’s last blog post..Life comes at ya fast.
April 21st, 2008 at 2:41 pm
dude…i am in awe. you are awesome!!! and you can so drink me under the table!!
ali’s last blog post..kosher for passover
April 21st, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Now all I want is beer. Thanks!
Scarlet’s last blog post..Host
April 21st, 2008 at 6:27 pm
No worries! I was shitfaced after 6 beers this weekend. Granted I was in the sun and it was 10,000 degrees outside with 128% humidity, but still, I was rather disappointed in myself!
Erin’s last blog post..Busy Weekend!
April 21st, 2008 at 10:26 pm
Two things:
Ball Park Beers are NOT full size beers. They are like baby beers.
Also? DORA? Oh dear. That is all.
Rhi’s last blog post..After car after bus after car after truck*
April 22nd, 2008 at 10:46 am
If drinking 10 beers and still being upright is old….then I must be in the grave. I totally couldn’t handle that. I would have had to go home immediately and pass out. Then I would have woken up the next day feeling like ass and craving McDonald’s and fountain soda.
Allison’s last blog post..411
April 22nd, 2008 at 11:32 am
I really miss that cold beer in the stadium smell! SIGH!!
mrsmogul’s last blog post..Synchronicity, doing my green thing and Gwyneth Paltrow’s shoes
April 24th, 2008 at 8:43 am
Dude, I have to start training to be able to keep up with you at BlogHer!
Katie’s last blog post..Exonerated
April 24th, 2008 at 8:46 am
P.S. I’m going to the Cubs-Nats game on Saturday! Being an O’s fan, I can’t root for our crosstown rival, so I’ll be rooting for the Cubbies. I’ve always loved them anyway
Katie’s last blog post..Exonerated
April 24th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
HEY!!! I love my Giants jersey with my name on it!