Seriously In Need Of A Vacation
Posted By Kristabella on April 15, 2008
I’ve hit that point where I have nothing to write about it. And not only is there nothing in my brain to write about, my brain has rebelled and completely checked out and just wants to go to bed at a decent hour and not spend two hours looking at a blank white computer screen trying to think of some witty story to share with the interweb.
And in addition, things have gotten busier at work and I haven’t had the time to formulate posts in my head or jot down notes.
On top of that, I’m fucking tired. Like I wake up feeling like someone slipped me something in my milk and it hasn’t worn off. It’s like a chore to pry my eyelids open in the morning to physically get out of bed. It’s way different than the “I would prefer a job that paid me to sleep all day” feeling that I have on normal mornings when I roll out of bed. And I’m worried I might be getting sick. Or maybe I’m just sick and tired of working and the weather and life in general.
And then there is the issue of Crunch Fitness and their fucking stupid cancellation policy. I had to pay an extra month because I cancelled the day AFTER my billing day and they have a 30-day cancellation policy and when they bill you they can only bill you for an ENTIRE MONTH. So now I’m paying for a gym that I can’t use because it is cancelled, yet I still paid. What the hell? I mean, I don’t go to the gym anyway, but at least I was thinking I was going and NOT paying. And don’t you worry, I gave them hell in my emails to them, dropping such eloquent words like insane and BS and asinine. The classy, I has it.
Or there’s my dentist who charged me a late fee on some charges that were 90 days past due. But guess what? I never got a bill! How am I supposed to just pay you when you don’t tell me I owe anything? I can’t wait to throw out another asinine on those bitches. It’s like swearing, but not.
Or my blog theme, which apparently doesn’t play nice in the sandbox with Internet Explorer’s older versions (my theory), bringing up a big white space and making people scroll down to see the most current post. Or not scroll down at all because they think that my posts lately all seem to be a big white box. Hello blog readers! I’m down here!
That plus I really wanted to actually lose some weight before I go to Vegas next weekend. Because warm weather means I can’t hide the fat under bulky sweaters anymore. And don’t get me started on the whole “pool” thing and the idea of putting my pastey, fat, dimpled ass into a bathing suit. And yet, while I’ve tried to eat better in the last few weeks, I have not gone to work out AT ALL. So I have no one to blame but myself, but I try to find others. Like Hilary Clinton or Charles Barkley or Chuck E. Cheese.
But at least I have a date with a Cubs rooftop on Saturday afternoon, which includes all I can drink and eat and DRINK for a few hours. Which I realize isn’t on the diet. But should bring me out of my funk. Because nothing makes me happier than baseball, brats and beer. Well, mostly the beer.
Until then, I’m going to cook up some turkey bacon and taunt Bacon with it.
Yeah. It’s definitely the fucking mouse’s fault.
About the author
Now I want Bacon.
Angella’s last blog post..The Great Gumball Giveaway
Sounds like somebody is due for the good mojo wagon to swing back around in your direction anytime now… which means when you go to vegas you should play roulette and bet on black. THEN, buy an adult-sized skeeball machine and start the first skeeball league. I will help you run it and we will make a MINT!!! Then, we can hire some goons to give Chuck E. Cheese the beat down he so clearly deserves.
Have a blast in Vegas!
Jules
Chicago Adult Skeeball League Co-Founder
House of Jules
Jules’s last blog post..So you can prepare yourselves for Wednesday
I have run into these IE6 issues with other bloggers, and will set up a chat when we’re both sober and do some coding. If you like. Because I’m all genius that way.
witchypoo’s last blog post..Twins
You have an infectious smile., I hope for the general population that is the ONLY thing about you that is infected.
As far as blogging well, every time I post here, and a few others that have that feature that posts the title of your last blog post, mine says….”Its been a long time”…
NO CHIT.
the dam title is deja vu, all over again. It has been a long time. I used to have a joke e-mail list years ago, 10 years to be exact, and I had it for 5 years. Collecting jokes, snarky stupid questions like when you have quick sex with your panties on, do you pull it over to the right or the left. You know, stuff that just has to be known. So after doing a two page rant then jokes, I was burned out. But then I was born looking like toast, so i was burned out at birth. I guess that is why they call pre-born babies as being in the oven. I just was left in too long.
At least I wasn’t a shake-and-bake baby.
ugh that was bad.
going camping. hope it doesnt rain.
cheers
LarryLilly’s last blog post..Its been a long time….
Oh you know you love the mouse and probably dreamt about it. Fess up!
=)
Ashmystir’s last blog post..we need to talk…
Aaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!
A picture of that damn mouse first thing in the morning??? Nice picture of you but shoot the mouse!!!
I hate that mouse. I was never happier than when The Princess grew out of going to the den of germs, and infections that we fondly call Chuckie Cheese.
Blech.
Namaste.
I feel you on the tired. I argued with myself for 20 minutes that I seriously needed a SHOWER and I had to get out of bed NOW. That people did not need to smell me AND I WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE.
I am exhausted at 6 pm. Seriously. What the hell.
Raven’s last blog post..pickled beef’s wwc for this week
Don’t worry about what you look like in Vegas. Although the commercials and TV shows try to convince you everyone looks like a movie star it is mostly scary people in scary outfits, which become more and more hilarious the more drinks you have. So instead of diet advice I suggest lots of free drinks and sunglasses so you can stare at the freak show!
*No offense to anyone who lives in Vegas. I’m talking about someone else, not you.
Celia’s last blog post..Does This Look Ok?
Your (former) gym sucks. What kind of policy is that? The mouse? You burned my retinas!
Am I the only one who thinks it is funny that you are wearing a big W and Chuck is wearing a big C so that it looks like you are trying to spell something?
-R-‘s last blog post..The Dumbest Smart Person I Know
Bah! I hate gyms and their cancellation policies. I also hate dentists and their late fees. Hell, I hate everything today. I am going to go look through some office supply catalogs to calm my nerves.
I know just how you feel. Between the kids and the new 24″ iMac, I get no sleep at all.
It’s amazing how much that can effect everything else going on.
Hank’s last blog post..Too Much
Hey, at least you didn’t hook up with Chuck. I mean, things COULD be worse.
Nic’s last blog post..I hate dress shopping.
If you really want to taunt Bacon, show him this:
http://www.seriouseats.com/required_eating/2008/04/bacon-bra-brassiere-womens-edible-underwear.html
Candy’s last blog post..Chloe, Month 12 (or 13…whatever, she’s a dog)
I’m pretty sure bacon would make it all better.
Of course, that won’t help you to fit into skinny clothes.
And I HATE the gym cancellation policies … we got hosed by Bally’s a few years ago. And I tell everyone that is why I am fat. Because Bally’s screwed us over and I was so traumatized that I can never work out again.
moo’s last blog post..why I love PK
Ugh I know what you mean about needing a vacation. if I don’t take one soon my brain is going to be worth nothing.
Lauren’s last blog post..Womens words decoded!
Oh, shit. I need to quit my gym. Must investigate rules ASAP.
Laurel’s last blog post..Questions, Part One: Fragrance Edition