Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on June 14, 2007

I learned a big blogging lesson today. Don’t ask teh interweb for assvice on shoes when you only want them to throw insane compliments your way and make you feel good. People, I’m way too insecure to fucking hear your honest opinions!

My shoes are awesome. Period.

But to beat a dead horse, since it’s what I do best, I took some more photos. Because yes, I wore those shoes to work today. And because apparently you guys needed a better “idea” of the awesomeness that is my bedazzled shoes! (Shoes. Awesome. Period. Remember?)

(It also gave me an excuse to go through the photos that have been on my camera since 2006, which we’ll get to later.) (I also have zero creativity and am feeling very blah and cranky and photos cheer everyone up, right?)

X-Zibit A (see what I did there? Like the wrapper rapper?)

Besides learning that I’m a lazy whore who could clean her damn mirrors every NOW AND THEN, here’s what they looked like with my pants today. (And by the way, that mirror is old and most of that is like permanently etched in dirt. I swear.)

X-Zibit B

Strike a pose. This is with today’s suburban soccer mom outfit. Which as I told Jenn, is why I bought the shoes. To stop dressing like a suburbanite. Also? Notice Simba in the background. And my gut about to break free from my pants.

X-Zibit C

From the side. Simba has finished his biznass. And I need to lose some weight.

X-Zibit D

I tried to tug the pants up a little to show the bling. But not too far since I haven’t shaved in awhile.

And by the way, these were the shoes I wanted to emulate when I bought this bejeweled mess. Because these shoes I heart. But I broke the heel off when I was drunk in Orlando and they aren’t on Zappos.com anymore. Sad, pouty face.

Damn! Even my feet are chubby. But see how cute? And not over the top shiny? Maybe I should have spent that money on fixing these instead of buying the other ones? Yeah, hindsight and 20s and numbers and all that.

But anyway, while taking all these totally unnecessary photos of my feet! And shoes! And me in pants bursting at the seams! The memory card on my camera was full. So I had to delete some photos. Which caused me to find some photos from Christmas with my mom and her grandkids. And one of my niece back when she had less hair and couldn’t walk. Enjoying the awesome present her Auntie got for her. And non-verbally telling Auntie to go fuck herself and put the damn camera down for fuck’s sake. (My niece inherited her potty mouth from her Mahnee.)

Some photos from Schwerer’s birthday. This, by the way, is about 3 pitchers before I fell out of my chair. Even though Jenn was driving, not drinking, and still managed to fall way before any of us. Black ice my ass. (And why are we so shiny? My flash is too good. Or we could all use some decent-ass face powder.)

A LOT of photos of me drunk, taking photos of my hair. Which we don’t need to see again. Click as you see fit. You’ve been warned.

And finally, the photos I took last night. Of Simba. lolcats.

What be this? I is ate teh bakon?

Bacon, I are spinning u. Should I go puke on her slippers? What would you do Bacon?

Well, you know what they say. Curiosity killed the cat. Bacon will have none of this insubordination.

(Gawd, people. I’m kidding. He was just badly injured. I don’t know how that hot grease spit halfway across the room at him.) (By the way, this will never get old, in case you’re wondering.)

Categories: A Dash of the Crazy, A Day in the Life of Me, General
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