Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on October 19, 2009

Today is my blog’s third birthday. Today, Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977 is three years old. (Gah! I can’t even read most of my older stuff. No wonder I had no readers.)

I mentioned this fact to my mom on the phone the other day and she was like “is that all?” Which wow, mom, thanks for the support. (Kidding! She’s been commenting since like day one.) Actually, she’s right. It feels like I’ve been doing it a lot longer than that. Maybe it is because a lot has gone on in those three years. Like, for instance, I’ve had FOUR different jobs, including the one that fired me for this blog. Or maybe it is because this site quickly became a big part of my life after I started it and I’m so thankful for everything that has come from it. Even the whole losing my job thing.

This year, I’ve been struggling with some issues. I’ve been having a rough go of it. I always thought this blog would help me in those times, help me to get some therapy through writing. But lately, I’ve felt like writing here is more of a chore than a pleasure. Part of me wants to shut it all down together, but then I remember all the wonderful, awesome people I have met through this blog and I am reminded that I do enjoy writing here, sharing with all of you, letting you all in on the craziness that is my life.

And you’ve helped me. When I wrote about The Sads, quite possibly the hardest post I’ve ever written because it was so personal, so raw and made me so vulnerable, I was scared about what people would think, what people would say about my struggle. Because as I mentioned in that post, it wasn’t full of snark, wasn’t my typical kind of post.

But the outpouring of support I got from writing that, the people who told me they’ve suffered the same thing, well, it is just indescribable. I was overcome with emotion. THAT is why I blog. THAT is why I continue to do this and why I choose to share my life. Because of the support. Because it is a community. And without this community, I wouldn’t have met some of the nicest, funniest, awesomest people in the world. People I consider some of my closest friends.

So on this blogiversary, I wanted to say thank you, to all of you, who read and laugh and stick around to hear mundane details of my life. I didn’t start blogging to get any kind of readership, it was just something to do to pass the time. But now that I’m part of this awesome community, I’m not going anywhere.

And since the traditional gift for a third anniversary is leather, I shall go out and buy myself a new leather purse or leather boots!

Category: All Things Blogging | 32 Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on October 14, 2009

Do you guys watch The Rachel Zoe Project on Bravo? If so, you’ll realize that Rachel does not know the correct meaning of literally. She says it for everything. She “literally dies” at least seven times each episode. Which, if it were literal Rachel, you would be dead. Or a cat with 27 lives.

God I love that show.

Anyway, that wasn’t the point of my post. My point is that I have a sore neck. Literally. Like I’m not just saying that the cats are a pain in my neck, or that annoying neighbors are a pain in the neck or doing dishes are a pain in the neck. I’m saying that I turned to answer the phone at work today and literally died. No, wait. I literally had a sharp, shooting pain in my neck appear.

And people wonder why I’m not a phone person.

This made for a rather shitty day. I had to be perfectly still most of the day, lest I move and be reminded of said pain in the neck.

Here are a few things I realized:

• I totally get where the expression “pain in the neck” comes from now. Because ugh, it hurts to move. And some things, like winter and humidity, are almost literally like a pain in the neck. Bananas.
• I’m not good at sitting very still for a long period of time.
• Apparently I have a tendency to fidget A LOT when I’m at work. Be it from staring at a computer screen for too long, or sitting in the same position, whatever it is, I want to move around. This is not so easy when you have a sore neck and moving = HURTY PAIN.
• I also apparently like to shake my head A LOT to get my bangs out of my face. And since I’m about a week overdue for a hair cut, MY BANGS ARE IN MY EYES A LOT! This means a lot of shaking of my head to get them out of my face. Which I do subconsciously, CLEARLY, since I kept doing it all day and then grasping my neck in pain.
• When it hurts to turn your head, that will be the day a lot of people come up to talk to you at your desk, since talking to them requires you to turn around.
• Backing up in your car to get out of the work parking garage won’t be such an easy task with a sore neck. You may almost hit someone because it hurts too much to turn your head to see if there is anyone behind you.
• Cats should be trained to give neck massages. I mean I feed them and clean up their poop, the least they could do is do that push-push/kneading thing on my sore muscles.

And now, I’m off to bed with a bag of frozen peas on my neck. And hopefully my neck will be better by tomorrow because I’m going to this and I want to be able to laugh on a moment’s notice and shake my head while doing so, if I so desire. But at least I’m comforted in knowing that the event tomorrow has wine which will dull any lingering neck pain. And probably cause me to re-injure it or result in some other hurty pain. Because that’s just how I roll.

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, Medical Mishaps, Whine & Cheese | 24 Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on October 13, 2009

I have a land line at home. This is strictly so that I can have DSL through AT&T. I never answer this phone. It’s true, ask my brother. I only answer it when someone I know starts talking on the answering machine. Sometimes it is my brother calling at 3 AM, sometimes it is a cab driver that I gave my number to.

Last week I came home and I had a message from some medical billing place.

I should back up.

About a month ago, I got an Explanation of Benefits (EOB for those in the know) from my old insurance (from the old job that I haven’t worked at in over a year) about an urgent care visit from November of last year. It was this visit, where they gave me an EKG even though I had heartburn and then I cried and was shamed for having such hairy legs.

The EOB came and it said I owed money, about $150, to meet my deductible from old insurance that I no longer have. But as we know with those little EOB statement things, it says very clearly that THIS IS NOT A BILL.

So I waited for a bill. I wasn’t too concerned since it wasn’t for too much and really? If you can’t send bills within a year’s time, not really my fucking problem. Right? Can I get a “hell yeah!”?

Turns out, it is my problem. And it could have been a BIG problem.

So the medical billing place finally calls and tells me that they keep getting mail that they send to me returned and this is an urgent matter and PLEASE CALL BACK! So I call the next day. I tried to give the lady a shit ton of attitude because hi! I HAVE LIVED AT THIS NEW ADDRESS FOR FIVE MONTHS! Also, THIS BILL IS FROM 11 MONTHS AGO!

She wasn’t hearing it. I later figured out she probably gets that excuse all the time.

So she tells me that she’s resending out the bill and since I called back so quickly, she won’t turn it over to collections. I thank her and tell her I will pay it as soon as I get it. Which I do, two days later. Done and done. Right?

Well, no. See the day after the medical billing place calls, I have a recorded message on my answering machine. It’s all foreboding and scoldy and says things like “If you are not Kristin Johnson, DO NOT LISTEN TO THE REST OF THIS MESSAGE! I MEAN IT! YOU WILL BE DOUSED IN ACID THROUGH THE PHONE LINES IF YOU CONTINUE TO LISTEN!”

Since I am said person, I keep listening. But since I have an answering machine and this message has long pauses so “you can listen to this message in private, out of ear shot of your cats or something”, the fucking thing cuts off. What I did hear is that it sounded like a bill collector. I hear something that sounded like “collec…” before the message cut off. I’m guessing it was about this medical bill.

The problem is, they didn’t leave a number. I’m sure it was after the long pause, you know the one I needed so that no one overheard me, say if I was on the bus and didn’t want the homeless man to know I was DELINQUENT. So, that’s fun.

Hopefully, since this place should have received their money last Friday (or tomorrow at the very latest, it’s right down the street from me!) there will be no more phone calls.

Now, I don’t have any experience with bill collectors. But I’m still pretty pissed about this whole thing. I’m pretty sure these collectors have WAYS of finding you. I mean, I’m listed in the phone book for pete’s sake. And my mail is still supposed to be forwarded. Also, MAYBE SEND YOUR BILLS ON DAMN TIME!

Has this ever happened to any of you? Should I be worried about the fact that a bill collector maybe called and I didn’t get the number? AM I GOING TO BE LABELED A DELINQUENT? WILL THIS AFFECT MY MORTGAGE?

All I know is I’m never going to that stupid Urgent Care place again.

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, Rants & Rants | 21 Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on October 12, 2009

Today is my favorite niece’s fourth birthday. I can’t believe this little girl is now four! She’s gotten so big over the years! Funny how that happens!

We got together on Saturday to help Skyler and my grandma (whose birthday is the 18th) celebrate their special days.

She took the job of blowing out the candles VERY seriously.

I’ve written to Skyler before on her second and third birthdays. I don’t think anyone who has read this blog with any frequency would not realize that Skyler is my most favorite person in the world.

I usually go up to my brother’s house by myself to spend time with the kids and my brother and sister-in-law. This is generally a purely selfish act. I don’t like to share. I don’t like to have to share my play time with Skyler with other people. And I mean, look at her, she’s so damn adorable and FUNNY, EVERYONE wants to spend time with her.

But I don’t have those worries anymore. Because even in a house full of people, people giving her candy and gifts, she still wants to play with her Auntie. She asks me to play Barbies with her or hide and seek or to climb on me like I’m a jungle gym and then giggle uncontrollably. She’s as comfortable with me as she is with her own parents. And that makes my heart smile.

Words are my thing. I’m most comfortable expressing myself though writing. And yet, I have the hardest time putting into words how much I love Skyler. Which is fine. Because she knows it. She knows I love her so much that I’d do anything for her. And all that matters to me is that when she comes into a room and sees her Auntie, her smile is just as big as mine.

Happy 4th birthday to the best little niece anyone could ask for!

Love,

Auntie

Category: All in the Family | 15 Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on October 6, 2009

I would like to point out that I’ve had this post planned in my head for weeks. Turns out, I shouldn’t have done that because it didn’t go as smoothly as planned.

So back during BlogHer, I entered to win anything and everything they were giving away. I entered for clothes, iPods, computers, anything. I even entered for a label maker. To which I said to Metalia “watch, I won’t win a washer and dryer, I’ll win a label maker.” And then we giggled. Because I never win anything, not even label makers.

Turns out I was wrong. I won the label maker.

No. Really. See?

Simba wasn’t really pleased, but he’s a fucking pushover, so he played along.

To a certain point.

Kitty Kitty on the other hand, was not a fan. She let me know how she felt about all of these labels.

Good thing I have another willing, inanimate participant.

Oh, think of all the things I could label!

So, internet, WHAT SHOULD I LABEL NEXT??

Category: A Dash of the Crazy, Crazy Cat Lady | 33 Comments »
Tags: