Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on March 28, 2010

This morning I drove like one million miles to my sister’s house. She lives a whopping 62 miles from me. 62!! She moved last fall and I had yet to be out to visit her in her new place. Because she lives 62 miles from me and I’m too lazy to clean my bathroom, let alone drive all that way. But we had big plans this weekend! We were going to create her registry for her baby shower!

Oh, didn’t I tell you? My sister is pregnant! With a little girl! She’s due at the beginning of June! I’m so excited! BABIES! I’m going to be an auntie again!

So I was all set to drive out there on Saturday and go shopping with her and look at all sorts of small, pink, cute, fluffy things! But then she texted me – she fell down the stairs and sprained her ankle. She and Baby Girl are OK, but probably not the best idea to be walking around stores when she was gimpy.

She decided to rest up on Saturday and I went out today and we got all the registering done. She even told me something she wanted that wasn’t at Target that I’m going to get her, so my shopping is done too!

I’m pretty sure it is no secret that I love kids! I WANT to have a child of my own one day. Since this year I’ll be the ripe old age of 33, I have been thinking about it quite a bit. I know that regardless of whether I get married or meet the man of my dreams, I will be a mother. Whether I have to adopt or go to the sperm bank or steal one (KIDDING!), I will have a kid. And if I have to do it on my own, so be it. In fact, I’ve pretty much decided that I’ll probably start going down that road after I turn 35, since hello! CLOCK! TICKING!

Anyway, spending an afternoon in the baby aisles of Target and Walmart will really make your ovaries ache. The stuff! It is so cute! And my sister, who already has a child, is all willy nilly about the registering, figuring she’ll get stuff regardless. Whereas I’m like “YOU NEED TO GIVE PEOPLE SOMETHING TO BUY YOU! ALSO, YOU NEED THIS WHOLE AISLE!”

(Do you see why she took the scanner gun thingy away from me?)

It was a good day. We got to spend some time together, we got to ooh and ahh over cute little pink things and I got to try pizza beer.

Pizza beer, you ask? What on Earth is that? And what does it taste like? Well, I shall tell you. It tastes like you’d imagine. Like someone put a little pizza sauce into your beer. Not the worst thing in the world, but also something I probably never need to drink again.

Apparently it’s “beer so good, it needs its own wine glass.”

I don’t even know what that means. All I know that I’m offended as a wine glass owner and as a wine drinker.

So, how was your weekend? If you’re wondering, I am still fighting the Death Plague. IT IS DAY 12 PEOPLE! TWELVE!

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, All in the Family, Hooch Hilarity, Lensolution 2010, Spinsterville Here I Come | 15 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on March 25, 2010

This has been the longest week in the history of weeks! On top of having the Death Plague, I’ve been in a sales meeting all week and it has plum-tuckered me out! And I still have one more day to go! THE HORROR!

It has actually been a good meeting overall. But coming off a weekend of being sick and doing nothing more than sleeping and blowing your nose, being a functioning human being and showering and talking and BEING AWAKE is downright exhausting! I’ve gone to bed as early as I could this whole week, which meant more than one day going to bed before 9 PM.

But now that it is Thursday, I’m starting to feel a ton better. I’m not as tired. I’m not coughing as much. I’m not killing so many trees with my use of Kleenex. And I finally have enough energy to blog! And tell you about my magical trip to Medieval Times!

We went there for an outing on Tuesday night with the work group. It was…well, interesting to say the least. I don’t particularly enjoy eating with my hands. And the “action” on the “stage” was very cheesy and very rehearsed, but the apple tart was good. So were the free beers.

Don’t I look regal in my paper crown? Doth thou agree-eth?

We were cheering for the yellow knight. We referred to him as Kristoff because he was very Polish looking. We also wondered when was the last time he had showered.

Also, what do these guys do for a day job where it is acceptable to have a mullet/unwashed 80s rocker hair?

I had an excellent time making fun of everything. I also kept wondering when Heath Ledger and Geoffrey Chaucer were going to come out and re-enact a scene from A Knight’s Tale. Because that would have been worthy of my cheers! Also, beer + cold medicine = hallucinations of people coming back from the dead to re-enact a role.

Sir Ulllllllrrrrriiiiicccchhh von Lichtenstein!!!

I entertained myself by annoying people on Twitter about our medieval follies.

And I realized that you have to either go all in or not with the crown, lest you walk around in public with crown head.

Which was why yes, neighbors, I was still wearing a paper crown on my head at 10 PM on a Tuesday night. Doth thou jeer me?

So people of the interwebs, what have I missed this week? It has been too long! I feel as if a part of me has been amputated, without my presence on the information superhighway this week! Me thinketh I have a wee addiction!

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, All Things Blogging, Lensolution 2010 | 12 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on March 21, 2010

I’m still sick. And I tell you, this has to be one of the worst colds I’ve had in quite some time. It has to be some sort of death plague. I have literally slept the entire weekend away. No, really! Friday night I slept from 8 PM until noon Saturday afternoon. I would only make it an hour or two before I would fall asleep yet again, while watching TV from my bed, since actually getting out of bed required too much energy. Saturday night I only slept 13 hours and forced myself to stay awake most of the day. There was a small nap at about 5 PM, which on a normal Sunday would keep me up all night, but this PLAGUE has worn me out and here it is 8:15, and I’m ready for bed.

So since typing that just made me winded and exhausted, I shall share with you some photos I have received of Noah the Bear’s recent travels. A lot of you have helped out and have sent things directly to the school, including treats, and all of you who have helped are AWESOME! A reminder, you still have until 4/16 to participate if you would like!

Here are a few places Noah has been recently:

He saw a Bon Jovi concert from a SUITE in Seattle!

He got a view of the site where the World Trade Center used to stand.

He met Aaric Kendall, who won a gold medal at the Vancouver Olympics in ice sculpting!

And he went to Edinburgh Castle in Scotland!

This is one well-traveled bear!

Happy Monday! Wish me luck, as I have to give a presentation for work and am hoping not to cough all over everyone.

Category: Lensolution 2010, Noah the Bear | 9 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on March 17, 2010

I’m sick. I have a cold or whatever germs were hanging around the office on Tuesday, since it seemed like everyone was either coughing or sneezing. And I am a delicate flower and want so much to belong that my body is all “come here germs! Infest here, please! LET ME BE PART OF THE PARTY!”

Or I drank for 12 hours on Saturday and it caught up to me. Something or other.

So I’ve been going to bed really early this week. At first I thought it was because of the time change, but then I realized that I should want to go to bed later, not at 8 PM. That’s how I kind of knew something was up.

And there went my Lensolution. Out the window. All that hard work for the last whatever weeks. But if I can post more than 3 times a week from here on out, it will be a win. Mostly because I’ve also been not lazy in other areas, so I’m sure God will be OK with that,

Actually, I am pretty sure what ever good work I may have done in God’s eyes was shattered tonight with the restaurant I went to for dinner.

I’m in Pittsburgh for work. And we went here tonight. It is an old church that they turned into a brewery/restaurant. And they used all the wood from the pews for the tables, chairs and booths. And the vats of beer that they brew? ABOVE THE ALTAR! It is basically what my version of heaven is like.

Cue choir of angels!

And now I shall go to bed. Because the time change is going to kick my ass in the morning, being already an hour ahead in the Eastern time zone plus being sick.

Peace be with you. And thanks be to hops.

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, Hooch Hilarity, Lensolution 2010 | 20 Comments »
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Posted By Kristabella on March 14, 2010

I used to enjoy blogging on Sunday nights. I wasn’t in a crunch for time because I could start at 3 PM or whenever because I wasn’t at work all day! And usually I’d have some hijinks that I would want to share with you all from my weekend. But lately, it’s been the opposite. Because Sunday means the end of the weekend. And it means that it is back to work. And just another Manic Monday.

I had a really bad week last week. I wish I could go into it here, but it is work related and I have learned my lesson from that. But it was one of the worst weeks that I think I’ve had in my professional career. I’m sure I’m partly making it out to be worse than it is, at least I hope I am, but still. The sting of last week, especially last Friday, it’s still right there at the surface. Makes it hard to get excited and want to come into work on Monday morning.

As I’ve gotten older, there are more than a few things I am sure about in my life. I’ve gained confidence in myself and my abilities so while I know that I suck at certain things, there are things that I’m really good at. I think we all know our strengths and weaknesses, right? For the most part? When I’m questioned on something I feel I do strongly in, it eats away at me. Because if I can’t even be good at the things I’m good at, what hope is there for me?

So yeah, that is where my mind is this Sunday evening. I’m actually quite proud of myself because I’ve managed to put it out of my head for most of the weekend and enjoy myself. Like drinking for almost 12 hours on a Saturday. Because I’m 32 so that is quite a feat! Especially since we started at 7:30 AM. And there was a line at the bar! BEFORE 8 AM! And I was standing by the end of the day too!

Now you should all mark your calendars to make a trip out to Chicago for St. Patty’s weekend! We do it right!

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In other news, the best thing about day drinking, or morning drinking as the case may be, is that by 8 PM you’re home tucked into bed and fast asleep. Which means that even with the time change, I got plenty of sleep and woke up rested and actually accomplished something more than lying around on the couch all day moaning about how my head hurt! I actually didn’t do much more than that, actually, except I wasn’t in pain. I even got my taxes done! Thank you Barack Obama for your first-time homebuyer’s tax credit! I can’t wait for my refund! That will got towards buying fancy things like…a lower credit card balance! Woo hoo!

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Plus, I got to wear my favorite shirt. And make up for the fact that I’ll be in Pittsburgh for work, at a dinner with co-workers, on actual St. Patty’s Day on Wednesday.

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So, tell me all about your fancy weekends! Tell me anything, really, to take my mind someplace else!

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, Lensolution 2010 | 15 Comments »
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