Vacation Over. Nap Required.

Posted By on August 31, 2010

I’m back from Portland. I’ve been back since Monday afternoon. And I’m still recovering. I need a vacation from my vacation. But I’m out of vacation time, so I just have to rely on holidays until the end of the year. Upcoming Labor Day weekend FTW!

I want to tell you all about my trip. Even though no one really cares, because it was my trip and who wants to read about my fun and my awesome times and my days off from work?

But I’m too tired. I went to bed last night at 9 PM, which was actually a smart thing because I didn’t sleep well at all. First I woke up around 11 PM from a dream where Spike from Top Chef was my doctor and diagnosed me with a brain tumor. And I woke up freaked the fuck out and not worried at all about the fact that a chef was my doctor, but convinced that my dreams were telling me I had a brain tumor. You try getting back to sleep after that kind of dream. GOOD LUCK TO YOU.

When I woke up, I realized that my internal clock had made the shift to Pacific time and it felt like it was 5 AM and not 7 AM. That’s no way to start your work week.

I want to tell you all about my awesome visit to Portland. And about the awesome food in Portland, and the awesome wine and beer. I want to tell you all about the fabulous times I spent with Rhi and Kerri (and Kramey and Amanda and others). I want to tell you about Rhi’s wedding and the fun times we had! And I need to tell you about Nick, who is so perplexed by blogging and Twitter that he asked us to write about him.

But it is going to have to wait. Because my brain can’t handle more than keeping my eyes open and my body upright. And now that it is close enough to bed time, it is time for me to go to bed and to read my book and attempt to win as many games of Catan as I can so I can become this:

I’ll also be celebrating the fact that my Gram should be coming home to her house on Saturday! No more rehab! Cross your fingers that all of the Is get dotted and Ts get crossed and it happens as it should!

Busy, Busy, Busy

Posted By on August 24, 2010

Thank you, all of you, who commented on my post about my Gram. I wasn’t anticipating leaving it up for so long. But she’s still improving and we’re really close to moving her back home! Yay Gram!

I am insanely busy right now. Most of the reason is because I’m lazy and I put things off until the last minute. The other reason is because I’m leaving tomorrow night for vacation! To Portland! For Rhi’s wedding! And to hang out with her!

(Never fear, robbers, my free-loading sister will be staying at my house while I’m away to protect my things. And the cats. And to probably drink all my booze and eat all my food.) (Oh, I think I forgot to mention that she doesn’t live here anymore. She moved out before I left for BlogHer. So she’s coming back to do me a favor.)

So I’ve left everything until the last minute – laundry, errands, dishes, packing, you name it!

On top of it, I had quite a busy weekend. I babysat Noah and Skyler at my place on Saturday while their mom and dad went to the Cubs game. So in preparation for their visit, I had to clean the house. Which I put off until the very last minute, clearly since they arrived at my house the minute I jumped out of the shower. Whew!

(I actually put off cleaning for months because said free-loading sister said if she lived with me, she would clean and I just kept NOT cleaning in hopes she would GET THE HINT. She did not.)

But I had a great time with Skyler and Noah. We baked cookies, ate donuts, watched a lot of Nickelodeon and we went to the park.

Actually, we went to two parks. We went to the first one, a few blocks from my house, that is part of an elementary school. It is a pretty old park. They were not impressed with it at all. Plus, it was hot, and Auntie didn’t think to bring water or money, so we were parched and decided to walk home, get some water (and Auntie’s purse) and then go to a different, hopefully better, park. And we would drive this time.

So that’s what we did. Armed with three water bottles, we hit up a much newer and nicer park. As they were playing, we noticed there was a carnival going on behind the school. “Let’s go check it out!” I said! (Yes, I had to convince them to go check out a carnival! Imagine that!)

It ended up being a street fest for a local church. One of the many things I love about Chicago, especially in the summer time, is the abundance of street fests. I’m just not usually on the lookout for street fests with carnival rides, I just usually make sure there is a beer tent.

Were you aware carnival rides are more expensive than beer? And that I am a sucker because I think I spent about $50 on those rides?

But it was worth every penny. Noah and Skyler had a BLAST!

Skyler was afraid to go on most of the big rides, but was fine with the kiddie rides. Until Noah went on the big rocking boat and told her how much fun it was.

Then she was hooked!

After that we went home, waited for their mom and dad and then we all went out for pizza for dinner.

It was seriously one of the best days I have had in awhile! I love the heck out of those kids!

And now I really need to go pack. Because it is in the 60s and 70s in Portland. And I have forgotten how to dress for that weather. I think I need to dig out the sweaters.

My Gram

Posted By on August 18, 2010

I’ve failed to talk about this on my blog because I felt like if I talked about it, things would get worse. Let’s hope that isn’t the case.

So my Gram hasn’t been doing well lately. She’s currently in a rehab facility and has been for a few weeks.

I should back up…

Back after Fourth of July my Gram took a turn for the worse. She was having trouble walking, standing, going to the bathroom and just about everything. In a matter of a day, ONE DAY, she went from being my sharp-witted, feisty Gram, to being confused, disoriented and unable to walk on her own.

My mom lives with Gram. So she was there to help. But it wasn’t easy. Gram couldn’t really be left alone on her own because she was having trouble with most everything, including making it to the bathroom. It was taking a toll on my mom something fierce because she’d be up all night with Gram and then wouldn’t get a wink of sleep and was missing work.

My mom finally realized that things weren’t getting better and she needed to involve my aunt. My aunt is a nurse. After a few days of trying to get her back to normal, my aunt decided that Gram wasn’t getting better and we needed to take her to the hospital. My mom and aunt decided to take her to the hospital my aunt works at because she knows all the doctors, etc.

Long story long, turns out Gram had some sort of interaction with her meds. It caused water intoxication-like symptoms. Those symptoms are like symptoms of a stroke – disorientation, loss of balance, forgetfulness. Thankfully it wasn’t anything worse. But the sad part is that when you’re an 87 year old woman, a week in the hospital can set you back weeks.

I visited her after she got out of the hospital. She wasn’t my Gram. She was like a shell of herself. It was so sad to see. Even after she was out of the hospital, she was still disoriented and confused. It broke my heart. And none of us could understand why this happened so out of the blue.

We arranged to have family members come over during the day so my mom could go to work. And then my mom would handle Gram duties at night. But like before the hospital visit, Gram needed a lot of help in the middle of the night and my mom wasn’t getting any sleep. My aunt would come over and spend the night when she could, but it was taking its toll on everyone.

Since Gram was having a hard time standing and walking (something she was doing just fine up until right before July 4), my aunt thought maybe a rehab center was the place to go. And it was covered under insurance since she was just in the hospital. So my mom and aunt went to check out a few places, places where my aunt knew people, and Gram moved into a rehab place.

She’s been there for a few weeks. I went to visit her before BlogHer and it made me sad. She hadn’t gotten any better. She still couldn’t walk and she couldn’t remember anything. (Now, I know she’s 87 so her memory isn’t the greatest, but she was remembering things before all this happened. And this happened literally overnight. And they did all the tests and brain scans for dementia and nothing.)

After my first visit, I told my mom I wanted to be like Clint Eastwood in Million Dollar Baby and help ease her pain. My Gram NEVER wanted this. She has told us for YEARS to never put her in any kind of home or assisted living place. And to see her, a shell of herself, made me so sad.

I told my mom my thoughts about this, and how she wasn’t getting better and it seemed odd. That therapy should be showing some improvement. So my aunt and mom went in to talk to the therapists and got Gram on a tougher training schedule.

And it’s working! I went on Saturday to visit and she was so much better. So much more alert and walking on her own just fine! She still needed the aid of a walker or someone there to hold her just in case, but it was like a WORLD of difference from the last time I saw her.

And while she’s still sad and depressed (she’s 87, she just wants to go to her own home), she’s more herself and feisty and mad and so much more my Gram!

My mom and aunt are supposed to talk with the social worker tomorrow to see what her status is. We’ve all seen the improvements and we know it is time for her to come home and to come home SOON.

This has been really hard for me to deal with. I lived away from home for 10 years and wasn’t around for these kind of things. On one hand, that is nice because you can distance yourself physically and emotionally. But on the other hand, you’re not there for support and to help in a time of need. I’m glad I’m living in Chicago now and I can help.

Near or far, watching your loved ones get old is never an easy thing. I am so glad my Gram is doing better because I’m not ready for her to not be around. (I swear she’s holding on until she sees her spinster granddaughter get married or at least have a boyfriend!) We are all ready for her to be back at home, in her own house, where the only annoying roommate is her daughter. (Hi mom!)

I know one day I’m going to go through the same thing with my own mother. But this is why I’ve already prepared her by telling her for the last couple years that I won’t be able to deal with this, so she’s just going straight to a home. I’m nothing if not the perfect daughter!

Brain Dump

Posted By on August 17, 2010

I am really trying to force myself to post more. It is so easy to just keep my computer closed at night and just sit on my ass watching TV. I need to get my writing mojo back. I know blogging has taken a backseat to Twitter and Facebook, but I still enjoy writing and I hope there are some of you who still enjoy reading. Even better if you still enjoy reading and aren’t related to me.

I read a post yesterday somewhere online about how we all, as bloggers, connect more through Twitter. And whereas prior to Twitter, all our online connections were through email and blogging, now we have Twitter and that’s more of our online personalities and where people really can know us and interact with us.

I tend to agree with this. We live in a busy age. We all have so many things we need to be doing. And it is easier to find out how your friends are doing online through 140 characters, rather than through a whole blog post. And even if you don’t tweet, it is the same with Facebook, isn’t it? You lean more towards posting a status update than writing an email or picking up the phone.

I love the interaction on Twitter. It’s how I get through my boring, lazy days. And I think Twitter has introduced me to more bloggers and online friends than I ever would have met through just reading blogs. Let’s face it, on Twitter, people are more likely to respond than they are through blog comments, etc. (Even me! I used to reply to every comment and now I have more going on in my life that it isn’t as easy.) There are just so many blogs out there. I barely have time to read the ones in my Google Reader, let alone add new ones to read. That may make me sound like the biggest asshole, but it’s the truth. I follow over 600 people on Twitter. I do not have time to read 600 blogs a day, let alone a week. And that is OK. Because I feel that through Twitter and Facebook, I know what is up with you and that makes me happy. Because I’m the nosiest motherfucker you’ll ever meet.

But I miss writing. I miss coming up with a post idea and getting so excited about it that I had to write it down in my notebook that is always with me. I miss my creativity. I hate my complacency.

So I’m going to try to write more, be it here or somewhere else (like putting pen to paper on that novel that is floating around in my head.) Because it is what I love doing. And I don’t ever want it to become a chore. I don’t want to lose my passion for it. I don’t ever want to be at a point where I want to stop writing.

Fell Off The Bandwagon

Posted By on August 15, 2010

I have been eating like crap lately. I was doing so well and lost six pounds and then well, I got hit with the lazy stick. I mean, I’m always lazy, but I’ve really proven my role as President of the Lazy Club in the last two weeks or so.

Right up until I left for BlogHer, I was doing pretty good. But with the poop issues and stress from packing and traveling and trying to get a lot done in a few short days, my diet and exercise suffered. And then when I was in NYC, all bets were off because I was in NYC. And I could drink again! Food and booze! A glutton’s dream!

I figured I could get back on the bandwagon once I got back. But that didn’t really happen. Mostly because I was so tired and still recovering from the trip, so I couldn’t be bothered to even make my own lunch, let alone work out every day. I did make homemade spinach & cheese enchiladas, which were FANTASTIC. But they were so good, instead of eating one or two at dinner, I would eat three or four. So while they were lower in calories, that’s all negated when you eat half a pan a night!

I told myself that I would try to get back into good habits this weekend. But then I drank very strong champagne drinks on Friday night and had to get up early Saturday morning, so I ate Arby’s, Taco Bell and a milkshake throughout the day.

But then Sunday, oh Sunday was going to be different! And it started out that way! I had a light breakfast and then a sandwich for lunch. But then I sat on the couch all day, being sucked into episodes of Flipping Out and the Rachel Zoe project, so come dinner time, I didn’t want to cook, let alone go shopping. So I went to Burger King. Because that is reasonable. And now instead of making my lunch for tomorrow, I’m watching three episodes of the Duggars.

This week will be different! It’s going to be cooler so I won’t be a cranky mess in the evenings from driving home in 100 degree weather with no air conditioning. (My car’s AC has officially shit the bed. I will be new car shopping next spring.) Cooler temperatures means I’m more likely to stop to work out after work. I can’t find any energy to go to the gym to sweat when I show up at the gym pre-workout like I’ve already ran three miles.

And I’m going to cook dinner this week! And make my lunch every day! One, because I am not made of money! And two, because IT IS NOT THAT HARD TO MAKE YOUR LUNCH! (My brain seems to think otherwise.)

Here’s to hoping I can get back on the horse or bandwagon or whatever other euphemism they use. Basically I’m going to attempt to stop being such a lazy arsehole! I have to look good for Rhi’s wedding in two weeks!