Posted By Kristabella on August 18, 2010
I’ve failed to talk about this on my blog because I felt like if I talked about it, things would get worse. Let’s hope that isn’t the case.
So my Gram hasn’t been doing well lately. She’s currently in a rehab facility and has been for a few weeks.
I should back up…
Back after Fourth of July my Gram took a turn for the worse. She was having trouble walking, standing, going to the bathroom and just about everything. In a matter of a day, ONE DAY, she went from being my sharp-witted, feisty Gram, to being confused, disoriented and unable to walk on her own.
My mom lives with Gram. So she was there to help. But it wasn’t easy. Gram couldn’t really be left alone on her own because she was having trouble with most everything, including making it to the bathroom. It was taking a toll on my mom something fierce because she’d be up all night with Gram and then wouldn’t get a wink of sleep and was missing work.
My mom finally realized that things weren’t getting better and she needed to involve my aunt. My aunt is a nurse. After a few days of trying to get her back to normal, my aunt decided that Gram wasn’t getting better and we needed to take her to the hospital. My mom and aunt decided to take her to the hospital my aunt works at because she knows all the doctors, etc.
Long story long, turns out Gram had some sort of interaction with her meds. It caused water intoxication-like symptoms. Those symptoms are like symptoms of a stroke – disorientation, loss of balance, forgetfulness. Thankfully it wasn’t anything worse. But the sad part is that when you’re an 87 year old woman, a week in the hospital can set you back weeks.
I visited her after she got out of the hospital. She wasn’t my Gram. She was like a shell of herself. It was so sad to see. Even after she was out of the hospital, she was still disoriented and confused. It broke my heart. And none of us could understand why this happened so out of the blue.
We arranged to have family members come over during the day so my mom could go to work. And then my mom would handle Gram duties at night. But like before the hospital visit, Gram needed a lot of help in the middle of the night and my mom wasn’t getting any sleep. My aunt would come over and spend the night when she could, but it was taking its toll on everyone.
Since Gram was having a hard time standing and walking (something she was doing just fine up until right before July 4), my aunt thought maybe a rehab center was the place to go. And it was covered under insurance since she was just in the hospital. So my mom and aunt went to check out a few places, places where my aunt knew people, and Gram moved into a rehab place.
She’s been there for a few weeks. I went to visit her before BlogHer and it made me sad. She hadn’t gotten any better. She still couldn’t walk and she couldn’t remember anything. (Now, I know she’s 87 so her memory isn’t the greatest, but she was remembering things before all this happened. And this happened literally overnight. And they did all the tests and brain scans for dementia and nothing.)
After my first visit, I told my mom I wanted to be like Clint Eastwood in Million Dollar Baby and help ease her pain. My Gram NEVER wanted this. She has told us for YEARS to never put her in any kind of home or assisted living place. And to see her, a shell of herself, made me so sad.
I told my mom my thoughts about this, and how she wasn’t getting better and it seemed odd. That therapy should be showing some improvement. So my aunt and mom went in to talk to the therapists and got Gram on a tougher training schedule.
And it’s working! I went on Saturday to visit and she was so much better. So much more alert and walking on her own just fine! She still needed the aid of a walker or someone there to hold her just in case, but it was like a WORLD of difference from the last time I saw her.
And while she’s still sad and depressed (she’s 87, she just wants to go to her own home), she’s more herself and feisty and mad and so much more my Gram!
My mom and aunt are supposed to talk with the social worker tomorrow to see what her status is. We’ve all seen the improvements and we know it is time for her to come home and to come home SOON.
This has been really hard for me to deal with. I lived away from home for 10 years and wasn’t around for these kind of things. On one hand, that is nice because you can distance yourself physically and emotionally. But on the other hand, you’re not there for support and to help in a time of need. I’m glad I’m living in Chicago now and I can help.
Near or far, watching your loved ones get old is never an easy thing. I am so glad my Gram is doing better because I’m not ready for her to not be around. (I swear she’s holding on until she sees her spinster granddaughter get married or at least have a boyfriend!) We are all ready for her to be back at home, in her own house, where the only annoying roommate is her daughter. (Hi mom!)
I know one day I’m going to go through the same thing with my own mother. But this is why I’ve already prepared her by telling her for the last couple years that I won’t be able to deal with this, so she’s just going straight to a home. I’m nothing if not the perfect daughter!
Category: All in the Family |
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