Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977

Posted By Kristabella on July 12, 2011

So I know I promised 21 days in a row. And well, that was probably 21 days ago. And well, I haven’t lived up to that. But! I am posting more, which is good, yes? And I’m feeling the need and desire to post more and share stories with y’all, and that was the whole point, so win?

In all honesty, I will be finished with Mad Men by this coming weekend, so I’m thinking I’ll have a lot more time to write, since there is nothing on TV.

Speaking of Mad Men, the Don Draper bot @ replied to me on Twitter and it still make me giddy. Don Draper replied to meeee! TO MEEEEEE! *swoon*

:::::::::::

I actually had a whole post I was going to put here, talking about how tired I am because I was hanging with my niece this weekend, but then this afternoon, I decided to indulge in some Swedish Fish. I know I shouldn’t have, but I was craving some candy and I know that it’s not worth denying it. Unfortunately for me, I’ve been indulging all my cravings lately, which is why I have put back on some of the weight I lost.

Anyway, back to the Swedish Fish. Man, I love them. I love any chewy, fruity candy. In fact, since starting my new job, I may have become addicted to the Sunkist fruit snacks they carry at 7-11 downstairs. It’s too easy to indulge when I just have to take the elevator down to the lobby.

My love of chewy, fruity candy is nothing new. Starburst have been my favorite candy since forever. But I never thought this love affair would come back to bite me.

See, today, as I was eating an obscene amount of Swedish Fish, I felt my tooth, as I bit down. “Hmm,” I thought. “That’s odd.” Deciding to investigate further, I felt around in my mouth in case I had somehow chipped a tooth. “Nope, all teeth present and accounted for,” I lamented. And then I felt my tooth way in the back, the one with the crown on it. And it moved. The fucking porcelain tooth, that is CEMENTED ON, moved. Which means those fucking fish (and years of Starburst, Skittles and fruit snacks) popped my fucking crown loose!

Thankfully, this tooth was a root canal, so I am not in any pain. Not so thankfully is that this tooth had a root canal when I was like 12, and has had a crown on ever since. It has been replaced once. This is not good because there isn’t much of an actual tooth left. So I’m hoping that this doesn’t mean thousands of dollars of dental repairs.

The problem I’m having now, until I can get in to see the dentist tomorrow evening, is that I can’t stop fussing with it. I’ve already wiggled it completely loose and taken it out. And you know what? It reeks. I mean, it’s understandable as it has been in my mouth for like 10 years, but still. I’m not pleased with having dragon breath all day tomorrow until I get to the dentist. (Don’t worry, I stocked up on Altoids after work.)

But even worse than that is my fear that my dentist will tell me I can never have candy, especially Swedish Fish, again.

THE HOOOORRRRRROOOOOORRRRR!!!!

Category: A Dash of the Crazy, A Day in the Life of Me, Dental DAMN | 7 Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on July 5, 2011

Instead of going on and on about the Casey Anthony trial, I’m going to post about something superficial and superfluous and other words that start with SUPER!

(I have opinions on the trial, TRUST ME, because I’ve been insanely obsessed with it since it started. IN MAY. But I’m not a lawyer, I don’t know the whole story. All I know is that those jurors felt there was reasonable doubt and decided the way they did. And it is not their fault, nor the fault of the judicial system if you disagree with their verdict. /soapbox)

Instead of that, let’s talk about shoes!

Here’s my situation: I currently take the bus and train to work. I don’t have to walk a whole lot, but there is some walking and 18 flights of stairs. (You think I’m kidding? Take the green or pink line out of the Clinton stop. Brings a whole new meaning to ELEVATED.) I generally wear shoes to commute in that are not my work shoes – gym shoes, flip flops, etc. This is for comfort and also so I don’t eff up my nice shoes. Pounding the pavement isn’t so good for my cheap, Target flats.

I tend to wear gym shoes with socks in the colder months. Because if my feet are cold, my entire being is cold. My body’s thermostat is located in my large, size-11 feet. So, conversely, in the summer, I do not like covered shoes. On Thursdays, when I play dodgeball, I wear my gym shoes as my commuting shoes. And not only do they make me a sweaty mess, they look ridiculous with my outfit:

I love flip flops. I think they go with anything – work pants, skirts, dresses, etc. And I’m fine with flip flops being my standard commuting shoe. But, I’ve recently noticed that flip flops are kind of shitty if you’re walking a lot. And even though I said I don’t walk a ton on my commute, as the days and weeks add up, it seems to be taking a toll on my legs and back. And if I run any errands after work, it can wreck havoc on my lower back. (Yay for getting old!)

So, wise internet, I need some help. In addition to the fact that I want more support for my feet, I also realized that an easy way to get in some exercise is to do some more walking on commute days – get off one stop earlier, walk from train station and skip bus, etc. So I think proper shoes are needed for this.

What do we think of something like this? (And no, don’t try and talk me out of the flip flop as a whole because it isn’t going to happen. See: feet and thermostat.)

I was also thinking that I could go with something like this, which would hopefully have more support than a regular flat (which also are not good for a lot of walking and standing):

What say you internet? You’re my only hope!

Category: Assvice, Halp | 24 Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on July 4, 2011

Today is America’s birthday. Can someone please tell me when that decided to mean that people should blow up fireworks? Because that doesn’t say Happy Birthday to me. Things that say Happy Birthday to me are cake, pie, ice cream, beer, money, champagne, etc. I bet you America doesn’t much care for the damage that we do on her birthday.

I read somewhere on Twitter that there is a ban on fireworks in some states (Texas, Arizona, maybe others?) because it is so dry. And people are SHOCKED that they are still hearing fireworks. Um, fireworks are ILLEGAL in the state of Illinois. Completely illegal. Nothing besides sparklers and those smoke bomb things. Nothing that sounds like a gun shot. That’s all that you are allowed to have, in Illinois, when it comes to fireworks.

We’ve even had bans on fireworks in our drought years. I remember one such year when my Uncle was shooting off something into an open field of dry grass and we started a small fire and the cops came.

This stops no one, clearly as I sit on my couch wondering if those are firecrackers or gun shots outside. Because fireworks are legal in all the surrounding states, so we have billboards, in Illinois, telling you exactly where you can buy those illegal fireworks.

(I don’t actually hate fireworks. I like the ones that are legal. The ones that are done by cities and towns or baseball teams. Ones that are done legally and pretty in the sky. Trust me, I worked for a minor league baseball team for two summers, we did fireworks every Saturday home game. If I didn’t like fireworks then, I was forced to like them after that job.) (I still hate the smell of stale beer mixed with peanut shells, though. That is one thing I sadly can never forget from that job.)

Anyway, I promised you photos, so here are some photos from a few weeks ago from my niece Madeline’s first birthday party. Can you believe she’s already one? I can’t!

Birthday girl in her birthday dress.

CAKE!

In my family, we have this tradition where, on your first birthday, we set three items out in front of you – a shot glass, a rosary and a dollar bill. Whatever you pick first, that tells you what kind of life you’ll lead. The shot glass, you’ll be a drunk; the rosary, you’ll be holy; and the dollar bill, you’ll be rich.

Our Madeline Jane picked…

The rosary! (Probably because it was easiest to get in her mouth.)

I’ll give you one guess what her Auntie went for on her first birthday. Come on, just guess!

Category: A Day in the Life of Me, All in the Family, Holidaze | 7 Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on July 2, 2011

Hey, remember when I said I was going to post every day? I really tried, but I should have consulted my calendar before making that promise. Because last week I had plans every night of the week. And come Thursday night, after all that drinking (there was quite a bit, says my liver), I just went to bed. But I thought about posting. That counts for something, yes?

Anyway, it’s Saturday night and I’ve been drinking. Actually, for quite some time, since I have been sitting on my couch watching TV while doing laundry for the last 7 hours. No, really. I have done 6 loads of laundry (not including sheets, which will have to wait) and shit, laundry takes a long time when you have a unit in your house and don’t have 4 community machines at your disposal.

(I’m not complaining, I’m just mad at myself for waiting so damn long.)

So, while doing laundry, I watched the final four episodes of season three of Mad Men. And now I’m mad that I don’t have season 4’s DVDs because I want TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS! Yes, I realize I’m like two years behind, but I love this damn show SO MUCH.

But while I was watching these episodes, the whole JFK assasination came up. I read a TV blog that recaps/reviews Mad Men episodes and there has been speculation forever about whether they would address it. They did, and I cried.

I wasn’t there, obviously, and I have no idea what it was that people on that day felt. But I immediately flashed to 9-11. And watching these characters on this show, with kids, I lost it. I was bawling like a crazy person. Because I thought “I don’t know what it would have been like as a kid when the President got shot.” And then I thought that there are so many kids alive, right now, kids related to me, who won’t remember 9-11. And I think that I don’t want them to remember. I want my nieces and nephews to remember a time without these events. I want them to live in a country where they don’t know about these kind of tradgedies that can happen here.

I’m not saying I want these things to happen in other places. I do not. Nor am I saying we should ever forget. I just don’t want kids today to know of any of these things. I know this is a naive thought. But it’s what I want. I want all these children to live in bubbles where nothing bad happens. Ever. I don’t think that is a bad thing to want.

Wow, that was a very deep blog post for a Saturday night! Happy Independence Day! Hug your kids!

Category: All Things Blogging, Deep Thoughts | 4 Comments »
Tags:

Posted By Kristabella on June 28, 2011

You can add Rahm to any word and make it a whole other awesome word – Rahm-some, Rahm-mantic, Rahm-citing, Rahm-tacular!

Don’t try and correct me. There is no use. It’s a Rahm-mendment.

(Now I’m like Henrietta Pussycat from Mr. Rogers who used “meow-meow” as every word in the English language.)

Anyway, since I’ve been out drinking wine all evening with her, and I need to put up a post, I thought I would just share who I saw today! (I bet you’ll NEVER guess!)

SQUEEEEE!

You guys have no idea how much I love this man! And how sexy he is! And also how excited I am for him to be running the city of Chicago! He’s going to do great things! He makes me love my city even more than I already did. Which was A LOT!

Also, can we just mention how much I LOVE my job because I get to go to things like this and see Rahm? GAH! It’s only because there were hundreds of people there that I didn’t rush the stage and bear hug him.

I’ll save that for a later date.

Category: A Dash of the Crazy, A Day in the Life of Me, Chi-town, Politics, Worky Work | 6 Comments »
Tags: