Fruit Ruins Everything!

Posted By on November 16, 2011

I suppose I could tie this into The Brady Bunch. I mean, Peter’s famous line when he was trying to get a personality and was talking like Humphrey Bogart was “Pork Chops and Applesauce.”

So I will tie it into that because fruit does not belong with savory things. Pork chops and applesauce? Together? Touching on a plate? Not in my house!

This is stems from my daily perusal of food blogs. See, we’re almost a week out from Thanksgiving. That means all the blogs I read are talking all things Thanksgiving. I don’t really mind, since who doesn’t love Thanksgiving food? But the thing I’ve noticed is that all these fancy recipes for stuffing have fruit in them.

Why would you put fruit in stuffing? DO YOU HATE AMERICA?

I will eat fruit in only two things – banana bread and apple pie. Any other mixing of fruit in things is a NO. Sweet and savory at the same time? EVEN GROSSER. Fruit does not belong with meat, in salads, in layers between cake, drizzled on cheesecake or on pizza. People. No. Just no.

I used to think I was the only one like this. Years and years of being at parties and gatherings with perfectly good cake ruined by a layer of fruit in the middle and I was the only one turning it down. Who are all you people that think this is good?

But then Twitter came around and I no longer feel so alone.

And now Megan’s tweet will be my new life mantra. Fruit: The solitary food.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.


10 Responses to “Fruit Ruins Everything!”

  1. alimartell says:


    there are, for me, a few exceptions.
    banana bread.
    key lime pie.
    lemon-poppy cake

    (wait…is pumpkin a vegetable or a fruit?)

  2. Chris says:

    Finally. I am no alone. Fruit and meat do NOT belong anywhere near each other. And fruit does not go with vegetables either. Quite putting fruit into salads. No. No. No.

  3. Danielle says:

    I don’t understand this at all.

    I recently had a discussion with my husband about this when I tried to get him to dip an apple slice in a nutella dip I’d made. He likes apples and he likes nutella but refused to eat the two togther.
    Danielle´s last blog post ..Advice from Maya the Cat

  4. Melissa says:

    I so agree with you. My mom used to make normal stuffing; a few years ago she wanted to change things up and came up with this recipe that has, I don’t know…figs or something. No wait, I think it’s dried apricots. Oh, my gosh. No, just no. I take a teaspoon full to be polite, then come home and make my own stuffing! I’ve tried offering to bring stuffing to the Thanksgiving meal, but she and my dad like the fruity stuff. =[
    Melissa´s last blog post ..Win an HP TouchSmart 320

  5. Mon says:

    Amen sista! Fruit is best RAW. Not cooked, pureed, jellied. etc. I do like banana bread, though.

  6. Denora says:

    Um, well, I am clearly anti-american as I hate Thanksgiving food. The turkey, the stuffing, the sweet potatoes/yams, cranberry sauce. Everything. So maybe my only redeeming quality is that I’m TOTALLY with you on the solitary fruit thing. My only ONLY exception is any sort of chocolate with bananas. Cake, ice cream, whatever. That combination is delightful, and makes me forgive myself for not liking banana bread, or any sort of fruit pie that people constantly swear I’m missing out on. Solitary fruit FTW!

  7. Carrisa says:

    I love fruit. My favorite salad has grilled chicken and pineapple and dried cherries in it.
    I love fruit in cakes and pies and ice cream.

    It’s just as odd to me that you don’t like fruit in these things.

    P.S. raisins are awesome

  8. Broad says:

    “Any other mixing of fruit in things is a NO.”

    This made me snort. You don’t know me, but Denora is one of my best friends – she turned me on to your blog. I read regularly.

    2 things: 1) Thank you for clarifying where the hell “Pork Chops & Applesauce” came from, because my goofball husband has been saying that for all 15 years that I have known him, and I never knew the source… Winning!

    I love fruit in things. It’s delish! Pineapple on Pizza, drenched in a firey habanero hot sauce? Hell yeah! Peanutbutter and banana sandwiches? Bring it on! Cranberry Relish & Turkey Sandwich with mayo & sea salt? Droooool! Pear-Gorgonzola grilled chicken salad? OMG! Apparently I’m a savory-meet-fruity-whore, because I love that crap! Even, link to my last blog post – PUMPKIN chocolate chip oatmeal cookies…. mmmmmm

    Thanks for the laugh though – I totally loved this post.

    And for the record Denora, Mac N Cheese has been at my Thanksgiving table for, what, 8 years now? 🙂

    Broad´s last blog post ..Pumpkin Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

  9. Jennifer R says:

    Sweet and savory don’t mix in my world. Keep the fruit out of things. I am 32 and have a divided plate for my breakfast foods. I CANNOT handle syrup touching anything but pancakes or waffles. Ack. Just the thought of it freaks me the hell out. No fruit on sandwiches or salads or any of that.

  10. gorillabuns says:

    now Bacon in my stuffing, this is a mixture I could get behind but fruit? blech!
    gorillabuns´s last blog post ..wide load