They’re Going Down, Down

Posted By on April 14, 2011

Hey internet, do you like my new sunglasses?

Oh, and I got my hair done on Saturday, it looks nice, no? (This is a very unflattering photo.)

Anyway, back to the sunglasses, you like?

I hope you do. I had to buy them in a bit of a hurry at Navy Pier Sunday at one of those kiosks. Because it was sunny out and I cannot stand not having sunglasses when it is sunny. (Apparently I have very sensitive retinas, so says my eye doctor.)

Oh and because the ones I had previously in the day had suffered an untimely demise.

I FLUSHED THEM DOWN THE TOILET.

No. Really.

As I mentioned, I hung out at Navy Pier on Sunday with my sister, my niece and my nephew. Actually it was my third day in a row at Navy Pier, because I was working an Expo there Friday and Saturday. Let’s just say that’s probably the most time I’ve spent at Navy Pier in my entire life.

Anyway, after we got to the Pier, I had to pee. So I went to the bathroom while my sister waited in line for Jamba Juice. I went about my business and as I stood up from my position of hovering over the toilet (no liners and I won’t sit on toilet seats in high-traffic areas), my sunglasses started slipping from my head.

At this point, I still had my pants around my ankles and I chose to do pants first, reach for glasses second. I mean, come on, what are the odds the sunglasses would fall in the toilet anyway?

ONE HUNDRED PERCENT, those are the odds!

So the glasses fell in the toilet, into my pee. And well, they weren’t expensive sunglasses. I mean, I liked them and I got them for cheap at a mall kiosk in Arizona, but really, was it worth reaching in a disgusting pee-filled toilet for them? I mean it was sunny out and I was going to need them later in the day. What to do?

Well, in the time that it took for me to consider this, my decision was taken away from me as the AUTOMATIC FLUSHER went off.

It took me about five seconds to realize that my sunglasses were currently going down the toilet bowl. And yet, I was paralyzed with fear or amazement. Something. Because I didn’t even reach for them. (I think part of me wanted to see if they would go all the way down.)

Well they did. They were sucked into the sewer system of Navy Pier and probably out into Lake Michigan. And all I could do was laugh and run over to my sister to tell her the news.

About the author

Kristabella, who also answers to “Hey! Drunk Girl!”, is a reformed band geek with an amazing ability to drink most people under the table. You can read her inane ramblings here, where she talks about her exciting life as a spinster with two cats and a fascination for Bacon.

Comments

11 Responses to “They’re Going Down, Down”

  1. Mahnee says:

    I would have bet that the sunglasses would plug the toilet, not get flushed all the way. Funny story….and I like the new sunglasses, too.

  2. Erin says:

    That was one powerful toilet!!!

    As an aside, if you were working at an Expo at Navy Pier Friday and Saturday that probably means your new job was with a company that has something to do, at least tangentially, with running. And this makes me very jealous. Unless there were lots of expos at Navy Pier on Saturday and then you can just ignore me and I’m jealous for no reason.
    Erin´s last blog post ..And it Begins

  3. Jessica says:

    lol – that’s awesome. I probably wouldn’t have reached for them either… I mean besides not wanting pee all over my hands, and the fact that I never could have put them on my face again (ew.) – flushing sunglasses down the toilet is not an experiment that you want to try at home!
    Jessica´s last blog post ..Oh- No- You Didnt

  4. Angella says:

    I can’t believe they fit down the drain!

    Love the new ones, and your hair. 🙂
    Angella´s last blog post ..Crawling Back On The Wagon

  5. Shannon says:

    I am surprised they flushed down…but I wouldn’t have reached for them if they were mine! Though that comes from a girl who rarely wears sunglasses to cover her eyes. They are the perfect headband. Didn’t you know??! 😉

  6. Kerri Anne says:

    Haaaaa!

    This is the best story about losing sunglasses ever.

    I’ve resolved to make my next story about losing something this entertaining.

    (Also: Yay! for new glasses and new hair, too!)

  7. alimartell says:

    Seriously. These kinds of things ONLY happen to you!!
    Oh wait…and to me!
    At least it wasn’t your phone. hee!

  8. regan says:

    I think you should start a new regular series called “Will it flush?” Don’t attempt these posts in your house though, only in public where it won’t matter if you fuck up the plumbing.
    regan´s last blog post ..I am one whiny hermit crab

  9. mouncie123 says:

    You always make me smile and I love seeing your new hair cut Love it!

  10. Wow, I would stare at them to see if they flushed too! I wouldn’t have thought so.
    Sensibly Sassy´s last blog post ..Sassy Sidenote- UmMeow